April 2007
Kendell had been hoping for an easy day, one
where she could waltz in to the photo shoot and waltz back out just as easily
but the Nevada sun was taking no prisoners as it beamed down reminding the
people below just what it meant to be out in the desert. Sitting on a bail of
hay she watched as people ran back and forth through the stifling heat trying
to arrange things so that the shoot went off without any glitches, of course
it was not meant to be as fate had already decided that today would be one of
those days when nothing would go in Kendell’s favour.
She should have known it would be one disaster after another from the moment
she woke up and realised that the alarm clock in her hotel room hadn’t gone
off and she had over slept, so much for getting back to New York by nightfall.
Of course her own vanity wouldn’t allow her to postpone her photo shoot she
would be fussed over and made look beautiful to the World even if it meant
turning up two hours late but that was only the beginning. From there the air
conditioning broke down in her limousine on her way out to the middle of
nowhere for the shoot. Getting to the site was a welcome relief until the heel
fell off her five hundred dollar shoes resulting in her stumbling a little
before hitting the sand with a ‘thud’. She spent the next hour feeling sorry
for herself while the make up artist tried to cover up the cuts and bruises
she sustained in her near death experience with Jimmy Choo an experience she
would gladly repeat if it meant she could go home instead of sitting out in
the direct sunlight for three hours with her make up starting to melt from her
face.
A cowboy theme, it had seemed like a great idea what she first heard it and
she could imagine just how well she would look in chaps and a cowboy hate, but
looking around now at the hay, horses and two dozen people running back and
forth asking each other ‘who the hell forgot the power generator?’ had her
changing her tune. She sat gripping her bottle of water, which was quickly
becoming warm as the perspiration from her bronzed skin dripped and sizzled on
the sand beside her feet.
Kendell Smith: “Couldn’t we have just done this in a studio? I mean I’m
boiling my ass off here.”
Assistant: “We like to try have our photo shoots
looking as authentic as possible. Bare with us Ms. Smith, I have been assured
that the generator in almost here and then we can get started.”
Kendell almost growled at the small woman who
had spent the last three hours telling her to ‘calm down’ from behind her
thick-rimmed glasses and veil of mousy brown hair. She could hear the sliver
of resentment in her voice despite her best efforts to try and coat it with
mock concern and sincerity. Women hated Kendell, it was a fact and it usually
boiled down to jealousy, this woman was no exception although men on the other
hand where only too eager to help Kendell feel more comfortable in her leather
chaps and matching brassiere which had been amusing at first but had lost it’s
novelty rapidly. The sigh of relief she let out when she saw the white van
approach could probably be heard in California.
Assistant: “Make up! We need to get Miss Smith
tidied up a little while we get the equipment attached to the generator. Come
on people! Get your finger out!”
Kendell flinched as the assistant’s
high-pitched squeal offended her eardrums. Two women came rushing towards her,
one with a make up brush and one with a can of hairspray, the price of beauty.
She wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol she had consumed the night before or a
mixture of the heat and hairspray being sprayed in her direction but Kendell’s
stomach began to turn as she felt the colour rush from her cheek-bones.
Make-up Artist: “Are you ok Miss Smith? You don’t
look too great all of a sudden.”
Great, a fucking make-up artist who thinks she’s a
doctor.
Kendell Smith: “I’m fine.”
Make-up Artist: “Are you sure? Can we get you a
bottle of water or something? You’ve gotten very pail.”
Kendell Smith: “I told you I’m…. Oh God.”
She didn’t take long to change her tune as the
girl with the make-up brush jumped backwards and Kendell leaned over and began
to vomit. She hadn’t realised she had drank so much the night before but what
else could it be. The hair dresser, being more polite than Kendell would have
been, held her hair back for her while rubbing her back and occasionally
saying ‘there there’ or ‘better out then in’ which didn’t help her or comfort
her at all. After ten minutes of continuous vomiting Kendell sat back up,
tears stinging her eyes and her hand shaking as she took a bottle of water
from one of the camera men.
Assistant: “So you’re going to be a Mommy then?
Congratulations.”
Kendell Smith: “What? I’m not pregnant! I’m not feeling great because you
dragged me out in the stifling Nevada heat for three hours and gave me a warm
bottle of water! I’m probably dehydrated!”
Assistant: “My dear that is without a doubt
morning sickness. I have five kids I should know.”
Kendell Smith: “Morning sickness? It’s three thirty in the afternoon!”
Make-up Artist: “I remember when I was pregnant on
my first, I was getting sick at all hours during the day. A horrid feeling!
Projectile vomit! Like something out of the exorcist!”
Kendell Smith: “I’m not pregnant! How many times do I have to say it? Do I
look like somebody who’s about to settle down and have children?”
Before the trio could respond Kendell felt her
stomach lunge again, jumping to her feet and covering her mouth as she ran
across the desert sand in her bare feet towards the portaloo.
Assistant: “I hope they sell wrestling attire in the maternity section.”
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Present Day
Kendell Smith: “Somebody pass me a fifty.”
Minneapolis wasn’t the most fun place in the
World and it certainly wasn’t somewhere Kendell would choose to spend her time
so when everybody else on the UWF roster boarded their plane down to Minnesota
for the next Uncensored show Kendell decided she’d throw a party in her estate
along the coast of Southampton, New York, a ‘Goodbye to Summer’ so to speak.
The house was large and filled with oversized furniture and New York’s young
and beautiful. It had originally been her family holiday home. Right on the
beach it had been perfect for vacationing in through the summer months when
she was young. However here family was gone and the large multi million dollar
house now belonged to Kendell, who intended to make the most of it.
The whole house was littered with bodies as her guests spilled out the patio
doors onto the golden sands of the beach looking out onto the sea which the
moon bounced off. It was the perfect night; the sky looked like a sheet of
velvet sprinkled with diamonds, the sea below it reflecting the silver glint
of the moon and everybody seemed to be in good spirits, well almost everybody.
Kendell sat patiently looking at the man beside her while he rolled up a fifty
dollar note. Sighing she began to look around the large living room at people
dancing around to the loud sounds of nineteen seventies rock and roll with the
occasional nineties pop song thrown in just to amuse the crowd. She barely
knew anybody who had attended her little get together but unfortunately they
all seemed to know her. For some reason she didn’t want to be alone tonight
but being the lone wolf she was there where very few people she considered
close enough to spend time with one on one and those who where were either
dead or in prison so instead she took the other route and decided to surround
herself with strangers a decision she was starting to regret but it still beat
sitting in a hotel room on the road alone with a bottle of whiskey which she
had found herself doing far too much as of late.
The blonde man in Chanel sitting beside her looking somewhat like Brad Pitt
from his ‘Thelma and Louise’ days. She contemplated flashing him a smile and
batting her eyelids as he looked at her with a warm welcoming smile but
instead just snatched the fifty from his hand and leaned forward towards the
white lines of cocaine which lined the glass table sitting in the middle of a
circle of people who where relaxing on bean bags and leather chairs. Fucking
was the last thing on her mind for a change and it had been for a while now.
In fact she could actually remember the last time she had jumped into bed with
somebody and strangely enough it had been some time ago.
The bitter taste of cocaine stung the back of her throat as she closed her
eyes and took a deep breath through her nose, dragging the tiny particles up
through the fifty dollar note and into her system. She sat back, letting out a
satisfied sigh and smiling to herself. This beat being in Minnesota with a
bunch of nobodies.
Jeff: “Out of the way, Christ! Do you not know who I
am?”
The smile quickly shifted from her scarlet lips
when he heard Jeff coming towards her, she wasn’t in the mood for his smart
ass comments or his feeble attempts at trying to get her into bed, and she
would rather just sit her and wallow in her own self pity in a haze of cocaine
and corona.
Jeff: “Where the hell have you been? They have a
beer bong outside!”
Kendell Smith: “Oh I’m sorry, I hadn’t realised I had stepped back into my
high school years, my mistake.”
Jeff: “Oh come on, it’s all in the name of fun!
You’ve been mopping around for months now! What happened to the Kendell who
used to get up on tables and take her clothes of just to see the looks of
peoples faces?”
Kendell Smith: “She grew up.”
Jeff: “Bullshit! She became too wrapped up in her
wrestling career and cocaine habit, which may I say? is spiralling out of
control.”
Kendell Smith: “No you may not say and let me remind you that if I wanted your
opinion on something I would ask for it.”
His voice went from a booming roar; which was
drawing attention to them both, to a quiet whisper which only she could hear
through the music as he leaned down to face her and put his hand on her
shoulder while he looked at her solemnly. She looked back apathetically
wishing him to disappear.
Jeff: “Kendell, I’m worried about you.”
Kendell Smith: “Don’t be.”
Jeff: “It’s been months now and you’re still…”
Kendell Smith: “Don’t. It has nothing to do with that.”
Jeff: “I think it has, I mean you quit wrestling and
just became an introvert, the exact opposite of the person I know. Listen
Kendell, I’ve known you since we where both in diapers and I’ve never known
you to be as secluded as you have been and I’m…”
Kendell Smith: “I told you, stop. Stop fucking trying to analyse me, I’m
fine.”
She picked up her bottle of corona and got up
from the chair. She wasn’t in the mood to be lectured by a man who thought a
woman couldn’t get pregnant if she got on top. She walked through the crowds
of people mumbling her hello’s as she passed by aware of the fact that Jeff
was close behind her. It was sad in a way but he had become the closest thing
to a best friend she had and she knew deep down he was just looking out for
her but she really didn’t care. It baffled her how somebody she cared so
little about went so out of his way to try and help her, she would have never
done the same thing for him but then again she enjoyed being self involved a
little too much to be worrying about anybody else.
Jeff: “Stop!”
He grabbed her by the shoulder and spun her
around, he looked frustrated. This wasn’t the first run in they’d had in the
last few months but it was going in the exact same direction as past
arguments. It was the same thing each time, he would dictate to her and she
would try to block him out by drinking herself numb or just staring at him
with the blank look of apathy she was renowned for. She leaned back against
the white plastered wall as he continued to go on and on at her about how she
needed to face her problems head on rather that avoiding them.
“And as for you, Kendell Smith ... the same
questions go for you as well. What did you gain?”
The words in the background caught her off
guard as Jeff continued to complain to her about her recent mood swings. She
drifted off into her own World, ignoring the loud music and the loud crowd of
people around her, concentrating on the voice in the background.
“Did you steal the UWF Universal Heavyweight Title
for motivation or are you truly a mindless sheep to be lead around by the
neck?”
For a moment she thought she was hearing
things, Jeff was right she had gone insane. She shook her head but she still
heard the deep voice of a man, an over confident man. She looked over Jeff’s
shoulder and around the room, moving herself from her position perched against
a wall so that her blue eyes could follow the sound of the man’s voice. She
put her hand on Jeff’s collar and pushed him away from her slightly.
Jeff: “Are you listening to a word I am saying?”
She walked straight past him and into the den
where a few people had decided to sit around and chill out away from the
madness of the party atmosphere with recreational drugs and plastic cups of
alcohol from the numerous kegs which where lining the kitchen. It didn’t take
her long to realise where the voice was coming from. Staring back at her from
the screen at the back of the room was the familiar face of Curt Evans.
Jeff: “Wait, is that Burt Evans? Is that you he’s
talking about?”
She stood in silence listening to him speak
about her, trying to analyse her and make sense of her actions. Her grip
tightened on the bottle of corona she held tightly in her manicured hand. If
there was one thing she hated is was people talking like they knew her. He
reminded her off Hitman, he had spoken time and time again about her failures,
her short comings and how she was destined to fail again. He spoke of how she
wasn’t the woman she claimed to be or once claimed to be. He under estimated
her, he accused her of being weak; he accused her of being driven for all the
wrong reasons. He knew nothing about her, nothing about what made her tick,
what drove her to do the things she did, hurt the people she loved, what drove
her to her love of inflicting pain upon others. He just guessed.
Kendell Smith: “What the hell is this?”
A few of the people sitting around turned to
look at her as she felt her face begin to flush with anger. Jeff put his hand
on her shoulder to try calm her down, watching the rage rise in her to boiling
point, but she pushed his hand away from her.
Kendell Smith: “Who does guy think he is Dr. Fuckin’ Phil?”
Jeff: “Come on Kendell, forget it. It’s not like you
to get bent out of shape over something somebody says about you.”
And it was true, it wasn’t like her to care
what opponents said, her apathy was usually what gave her an edge over
everyone she had to step into the ring with, it was only when she began to
care did her performance fault in any way. It had happened in the past, it had
happened when she had let Hitman get under her skin and it had happened then
again when she let Icon get under her skirt. She told herself it would never
happen again, not now, not after so many months away from the ring. She
wouldn’t fall at the first hurdle. Jeff watched her with a look of worry in
his dark eyes as she continued to stare at the television, letting each and
every word spoken sink in. He was just waiting for her to begin screaming, she
had a vicious temper which was a force to reckon with but just as she looked
like she was about the blow she began to laugh. He looked at her quizzically,
raising an eyebrow.
Jeff: “Um... you ok?”
Kendell Smith: “Since I was a little girl Jeff I dreamed of success, fame,
glory. I’ve always had this unquenchable thirst to be the best that pushed me
to go to limits other people couldn’t even imagine, it pushed me to do things
others would frown upon and I did it with a smile on my face. I’ve never been
the typical girl next door, the walk over or Sally homemaker. I’ve always
looked for something that defines me as a person, as a success. For some women
it’s raising a family and keeping a happy home, for me however it’s being
number one. Wrestling does define who I am and if that makes me pathetic in
the eyes of a man who only holds a belt because Stryfe’s career was coming to
end then so be it. But he’s write in what he says, I never forgave myself for
losing the title to Danny Raymond, I never forgave myself for letting myself
get so wrapped up in my own life outside the ring that it interfered with who
I was when I stepped into the ring.”
Jeff: “But you where…”
Kendell Smith: “It doesn’t matter what I was, the fact is I failed which is
something I don’t do often and something I will not let myself do again. So am
I bitter? Of course I am. I’m bitter and I’m resentful that I let it slip
between my fingers because of my own stupid amateur mistakes. Five months ago
I would have stood here and told you I have no regrets in regards to my life.
I would have told you that I lived exactly how I wanted. I’ve done in my life
exactly what I needed to do to stand tall on the top of the food chain. I
would have looked you dead in the eye and told you that I cared about nothing
and I would have meant every word of it, but I’m no longer that person. So
that idiot can stand there, with that smug look on his face, and he can talk
for hours about what I am, who I am and what I’ve done. He can try to analyse
the things I’ve done, the decisions I’ve made but he will hit a brick wall
because I am like nobody he has come across in the past. Ask anybody that I
have stepped into the ring against. I mean, even the UWF poster boy Stryfe
couldn’t beat me when I was at the top of my game so what makes him think that
he even stands a chance when it comes to taking me on for his precious belt? A
belt he doesn’t deserve to hold, a belt he has tarnished with his name and his
hands which have been stained with mediocrity. He wants to know why I took it?
He wants to know why I went down t the ring at Midsummer Nightmare and took
the title from his grasp?”
Jeff: “Heh… because it looks good in the glass
cabinet over your mantle piece?”
Kendell Smith: “As much as that is true it’s still not the reason I took it. I
took it because his stained hands would destroy the value of its name, much
like mediocre wrestlers in the past have. I couldn’t sit back and watch a man
from the uncensored roster take the title to a second rate show, sit and watch
as he made a mockery of everything I stand for. I didn’t do it for Glenn, I
didn’t do it for Adrenaline and I certainly didn’t do it out of jealousy. I
did it because I wasn’t going to come back to UWF and fight for a title that
had lost its value because of a man who toots his horn a little too much.
Maybe he should learn t stop talking and LISTEN! Because talking wont win him
this match, no amount of analysing in the World will give him the strength to
step into that ring and beat me. I’m not the type of person who will lie down
defeated without a good God damn fight.”
She lifted the bottle of corona to her lips
once again, throwing her head back and pouring it down her throat before
wiping her lips and looking Jeff dead in the eyes. Jeff looked at her
questionably. He had never seen a look of such determination on Kendell’s face
when she spoke. Sure, he was aware that she was a strong woman and would stop
at little or nothing to get what she wanted but this time around was
different. It was like success and her own goals where taking a second seat to
her desire, her desire to prove her own self worth to herself. She needed to
prove to herself that she could do it, that she could be number one again and
that the last five months hadn’t changed who she was deep down.
Kendell Smith: “I may be a FORMER champion but that will change on Monday when
I officially become the owner of the beautiful gold title that sits on my
mantle. I may be a ‘princess’ but he should know that I’m not afraid to get my
hands dirty.”
Kendell turned again to take one last look at
the face of the man who she would be stepping into the ring with for the first
time at Uncensored. His eyes stared back out of the television mocking her.
She took one last look and turned away from the TV, the smile that was
adorning her face just a few seconds before hand now just a memory, as she
stayed light lipped with flames of anger dancing in her blue eyes.
“Prepare yourself for the hell I will put you
through because I will stop at NOTHING to maintain my death grip on this
title, Smith. You can fucking BELIEVE THAT!!”
She turned quickly to face the large television
and with all her strength threw the corona bottle across the room so that it
hit the television where Curt’s face smiled back her, sending shards of glass
across the floor and electrical sparks bouncing from the broken screen.
Kendell Smith: “This Monday, this Monday we’ll see who fades in to obscurity”
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Anthony Robbins once said “It's not what's happening to you now or what has
happened in your past that determines who you become. Rather, it's your
decisions about what to focus on, what things mean to you, and what you're
going to do about them that will determine your ultimate destiny.” I’ve made
mistakes, I’ve done things in my life I’m not proud of but I now know what I
want and what I must do to get it. I’ve hit the bottom of the barrel and I’m
rebuilding myself piece by piece starting with the UWF Universal title.