ap·a·thy
n.
1. Lack of interest or concern, especially regarding matters of general importance or appeal; indifference.
2. Lack of emotion or feeling; impassiveness.


Getting people riled up is what I do best. It’s always been a gift of mine and it’s always given me a slight edge when it came to wrestling. One of my major strengths is my apathy, the fact that a wrestler could step out in the ring and throw everything at me, call me every name under the sun and throw up my past time and time again but it would just role off me like water off a ducks back. People have asked me time and time again how come I don’t let my short temper take over when some idiotic World Champion wannabe steps up, talks bull and expects to bring me down and I give them the same answer, respect. I don’t care what these people say about me or imply about me because I don’t respect them. Only the words of people I respect cut deep to the core and those people are very few and far between and I have yet to come across somebody like that in the ring so maybe that’s why I go out there week in week out and don’t let emotion alter my frame of mind or cloud my goals. I go out with my mind on one track knowing what I want and I don’t care what others think or say about me. If I cared I’d be in the wrong game. Wrestling is a vicious, angry, bloodthirsty game and that’s why I love it.



Scene 1

Kendell sighed loudly making no secret of her absolute boredom as she sat there taping her foot on the floor. Her toned body was dressed in just a long black t-shirt with Pink Floyd scrolled across it. One of her long legs was tucked underneath her while she continued to tap the other on the carpeted floor below her. She was pretty tired and there was nothing much on television this late at night. She held the remote control tight in her right hand and flicked through all the stations, hundreds, and not one thing worth watching was on.

Kendell Smith: “Why is it that only the crap is ever on at this time?”

Jeff: “Fucked if I know.”

Jeff lay on the couch on the far side of the room wrapped in a blanket, his eyes barely opened as he watched the television screen over the edge of his plaid covers. Kendell had been a good girl since her binge and tattoo adventures the day before. She spent all day in the gym making sure she was fit and ready for her up coming match. This was one thing in her life she had no intention of fucking up. She had let so many title shots slip through her hands that she was determined to make sure this one was not going to get away. She continued to flick around until she got to the wrestling channel which, she left on, placing the television controller back down on the arm of the chair she was sitting on.

Jeff: “I would have thought after the day you just had you’d be tucked up in bed by now.”

Kendell Smith: “Well I’m a night owl, doesn’t matter how late it is I stay awake until the early hours, always have. I guess it’s a ramification of the rock and roll lifestyle I’ve been leading. I come alive at night.”

Jeff: “Could be but with your match against this Gary guy just around the corner maybe you should be getting some more rest, give yourself a break from the norm and get yourself in working order.”

Jeff never failed to amaze her. He was showing interest in a sport he knew nothing about and all because his long-term best friend had developed a love for it. Jeff would never usually care or try to take an interest in anybody else’s likes or dislikes, he was apathetic like Kendell and tended to only care about himself but lately he had really been paying attention to the world of professional wrestling.

Kendell Smith: “You’re getting soft on me Jeff.”

Jeff pulled the blanket back a little taken aback by the comment. He glared across the room at Kendell who smirked back knowing she had struck a nerve.

Jeff: “What? How?”

Kendell Smith: “All this sudden interest in the wrestling game when a few months ago you referred to it as, and I quote, ‘a bunch of sweaty homo erotic men looking for a free feel.’ Change your mind?”

Jeff: “Well it’s hard to not pay attention to it when it’s constantly being shoved in your face. I mean you constantly talk about it and now, rather than sticking on some late night HBO porn you leave the wrestling channel on. I believe it’s not me that has change.”

He was right. Her love for the sport had almost turned into an obsession. She truly loved the game. It was a mix of everything, the fighting, the adrenaline rush, the winning, the losing, the pure excitement of it all. It sent a shock of excitement through her body that no drug had ever given her. A rush she had never felt. Wrestling had become an addiction.

Kendell Smith: “Nothing wrong with loving something other than sex, alcohol and drugs.”

Jeff began to laugh hard as Kendell cocked her eyebrow quizzically.

Kendell Smith: “Why the laugh?”

Jeff: “I never thought I’d see the day you’d say there was more to life than sex, drugs and alcohol. You’re actually maturing in front of my eyes it’s amazing.”

Kendell Smith: “Well it’s about time one of us does. You wont be able to live out of daddy’s wallet for the rest of your life Jeff.”

Jeff mumbled something under his breath before turning is attention back to the television. Kendell tucked both of her long tanned legs underneath her, running her long red nails along her shin where a bruise was starting to form. It had been a hard day training. She had had her fair share of knocks and bumps but it was all for a good cause she continued to convince herself. She had been constantly daydreaming about the same thing, the night of the IC title shot. She could picture herself pinning Hitman and being handed the gold and it sent a shiver of excitement down her spine. It was giving her that push to try. Giving her a reason to want it more. She wouldn’t admit it but she had decided where she would keep the title. Her father had always said to her don’t be optimistic and you can’t be disappointed. It was one of many mottos she lived her life by but this time around it was a much harder task. Feeling the IC title just in reach was driving her crazy but she couldn’t help but feel a certain bout of confidence every time she thought about it. She had worked hard for a second chance at the title and now here it was.

Kendell Smith: “I think…”

Before she could say anymore her trail of though was interrupted by a familiar voice. She turned to look at the television screen where Gary’s Reece’s face stared back at her mockingly. She could feel something surge up inside her, a strange feeling, a mix of anger, amusement and excitement. His face reminding her of what was about to happen between them.

Jeff: “Hey aint that the guy you’re fighting on Monday night?”

Kendell Smith: “Shush…”

They both sat in silence watching the screen as Hitman’s promo ran. The palms of her hands became clammy as she watched him run his mouth of like she knew he would. Without realising it she had clenched one of her fists but instead of being angry with some of his words she was amused. A smirk forming on her face as she watched intently letting every single word sink in and knowing that it wouldn’t be long before she wiped the confidence from him. The promo ended and the room went dark before Gary’s face was replaced by that of a man offering lower mortgage rates to first time buyers.

Jeff: “Wow…”

Kendell Smith: “He shouldn’t be so confident. He obviously underestimated who he is dealing with, it will be his downfall believe me.”

Jeff: “He had to hand the title over because of an injury?”

Kendell Smith: “Apparently so, he’ll have to hand it over again because of an injury because I plan to break his neck on Monday night and have his title handed to me. His immaturity just makes me want it all that little bit more. You know what really bugs me about him? What really makes me want to tear his flesh from his body?”

Jeff: “What?”

Kendell Smith: “How he believes that he has been an influence in the success of people in X-rated. How he believed that as the leader of X-rated he had some part in Marissa winning the title. Makes me sick that he has to milk his glory from the wins of others.”

Jeff: “Yea it’s pretty pathetic.”

Kendell Smith: “It’s very pathetic. Also how he constantly talks about the past, about what he has done in the past and what titles he has held and how he won them as if he thinks anybody gives a damn. It was the past, it should be left in the past. He should be focusing more on the future and losing his precious IC title to one of the most dominant wrestlers new to the game. And then he has the audacity to brag about beating a woman at one of her first matches at UWF? He has this false notion that he destroyed me in the ring when the fact is he beat me, a rookie female wrestler, by the skin of his teeth. He should think before he speaks. Glenn gave me this shot again because of how close the last match was, Gary Reece should really get his head out of his mediocre, uneducated has been ass and pay attention.”

Jeff: “He’s like a child whining because somebody took away his ickle wickle World Title.”

Kendell and Jeff both laughed. She had no time for someone as pathetic as Gary Reece, men like him where the reason she stayed single men who where too busy flashing their cock backstage to actually up their game when a real threat arose.

Kendell Smith: “Two titles, he holds two titles. Well that’s a lot of gold for one man to carry I’ll have to help him out with that by taking one of them off his hands. You know I should get myself nick name after I take his title, something like, ‘the hall of fame destroyer’ it would be only fitting considering he likes to constantly bring up the fact that he is a part of it.”

Jeff: “Ah is this the hall of mediocrity you talk about.”

Kendell Smith: “The exact one. Don’t get me wrong not everyone in the hall of fame is as pathetic as Gary Reece but a lot of them are. He says everybody in UWF knows I wont take the title this Monday but the reality of it is, everybody knows that I am the next IC champion. That Monday night the belt will be going around my waist and he is more stupid than he looks if he thinks otherwise.”

Jeff: “Jason Lee, you know that name is going to haunt you until the day you die.”

Kendell Smith: “Probably, people like to pick at the things they think will get to me. Won’t work though I could care less how many times Jason Lee is brought up. Gary Reece can’t be compared to Lee because he wasn’t even in the same league as him. Sure NDX fell apart but I never even wrestled in a match with NDX so therefore their downfall had nothing to do with my wrestling ability or me. People need to pay attention. NDX may have only held one title for the short time they were around but it was the one title that Gary Reece will never be good enough to hold again. Even his girlfriend, the locker room bouncing, bed hopping, Marissa Russo is better than him. He lives in the shadow of his more talented girlfriend. Must be tough being in the background while his girlfriend has so much success. Makes him look like another lap dog.”

Jeff: “Says the woman that has been spotted with a former UWF Champion.”

Kendell Smith: “Two UWF champions…”

Kendell smiled, shifting her weight and throwing her long curvy legs over the arm of the chair, her t-shirt riding up to the top of her thigh.

Kendell Smith: “But I’ve only fucked one.”

Jeff: “How romantic.”

Kendell Smith: “I don’t do romance. I do hardcore and raw you should know that you’ve been on the receiving end a couple of times.”

Kendell stood up from the chair, fixing her t-shirt and yawning. She stretched her long strong arms over her head.

Kendell Smith: “Time for me to go to bed.”

Jeff nodded wrapping himself back up in the blanket as he continued to watch the television. Kendell turned and made her way to the bedroom. It had been a long hard day for her but it was only the beginning. She still had the strenuous task of taking Gary on in the ring. She knew it wouldn’t be easy, unlike Gary she recognised the possible threat in her opponent. She lay down on the bed staring at the ceiling. She was still finding it hard to sleep at night she put it down to nerves and excitement. She fiddled with the bedclothes. Soon she would be able to sleep because soon she would be sleeping with gold at her bedside.


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Chuck Palahniuk the genius behind Fight Club once said ‘You can go a lifetime without feeling anything but skin’ it was always a saying that struck a chord with me. He was of course describing his own apathy and the apathy of others. Some people believe that apathy is a state of mind, a façade and that nobody can be truly apathetic all the time. I believe that to be true there are certain things in the World that one can not be apathetic about, that one must feel life’s passion about. The indulgences life has to offer.

I am Kendell’s apathy towards others.

I am however apathetic towards people who try there best to rid me of the self-confidence I ooze. People that think by pointing out my failures in life that I will forget the success I have had. So I have never held gold, but I am only wrestling a few months and yet people forget that I still get put into the limelight constantly. I may not have the perfect record, I may not have gold, yet, but I am still a woman others constantly talk about and others remember.

I am Kendell’s hate for the ignorant.

People who see everything in black and white thinking there is never a grey area. People who are basic, without controversy or passion. Gary Reece looks at me and sees the black and white. The fact that I have beaten a man that has only ever been beaten one other time in the ring is clouded by the fact that I have yet to hold gold. I work alone and I have been pushed to my limit time and time again but that has been clouded by the fact that I was associated with NDX and Jason Lee for a few weeks.

I am Kendell’s fear of failure.

I don’t fear much in my life but the one thing that keeps me awake at night it the fear of losing it all. Is the fear that it will all come crashing down around me. This will not however be at the hands of somebody else but at the hands of my own apathy.

I am Kendell’s cold heart.

In the words of Mr. Palahniuk himself ‘Love is bullshit. Emotion is bullshit. I am a rock. A jerk. I'm an uncaring asshole and proud of it.’