Author: Chaos
Mini-blurb: Qui-gon's knighting and his thoughts about it.

Disclaimer: Only Aleanne is my character. The rest and the universe they live in are the sole property of George Lucas. They are borrowed without intent to profit thereby.



Blues eyes followed the small green hands as they lifted the ceremonial blade from the round embroidered cushion it sat on. No vibro blade, no energy weapon was used for so formal an occasion, only old fashioned steel kept at razor sharpness set in a plain wooden hilt. The wood had been worn smooth and slick from countless years of use in the hands of jedi masters.

Today it would be used again.

Those grey-blue eyes followed every move, took in every detail, noted every expression within their range of sight: the sunlight flooding through the tall windows and dappling the floor, a shared look here, a twitch of a smile there. The man that they belonged to fought hard to quell the rapid beating of his heart, but this was the day he'd been dreaming of for almost as long as he could remember. He kept his breathing even and calm, he reached into the Force and wrapped it's soothing influence around himself and felt his heart slow. The physical symptoms could be controlled, but his emotions still ran high, his pride and eagerness were fairly broadcasting and excitement and joy swirled through his mind and threatened to overwhelm him. Through the training link, he could feel his master's pride in him and his amusement as well. Qui-gon had always and probably would always be a man of strong emotions, no matter how he struggled to keep them in check.

Yoda shuffled across the Council Room floor to where the apprentice knelt before the Council. "Today," his low gravely voice was the only sound in the room, "marks a great change for you, Padawan Jinn. Today." One diminutive hand lifted his braid from where it lay on his shoulder and gave it a gentle tug to pull the tall human's head into easier reach. A practiced twitch flipped the carefully maintained braid over his ear so that in hung in front rather than behind his ear.

"We confer upon you the rank that your time, effort and dedication have earned." The knife blade flashed in the sunlight streaming through the transparisteel windows that ringed the room and the braid fell limp into Master Yoda's hand.

"Rise, Knight Jinn, and present yourself before the Council."

Qui-gon unfolded his long length with an easy grace that was unusual in one so tall. He stood with his broad shoulders square and his face calmly composed. Outwardly, he embodied the very epitome of jedi impassiveness. But appearances were deceiving. Inside Qui-gon was exulting, not only in his own accomplishments, but in his master's as well. After all, Qui-gon would not have made it to the rank of Knight without the patience and wisdom of his master.

Even as these thoughts swirled through his mind, there was a soft tug on the link in his mind. He reached instinctively for it, to see what his master wanted, only to feel it slip away from his grasp. Mentally, he lurched after it in a manner that could really only be called frantic, but it continued to dissolve and the more he fought the faster it disappeared.

"Congratulations, Knight Jinn." Ki Adi Mundi murmured in his soft-spoken tones.

Qui-gon's body bowed in a reflex action and his mouth moved to speak the words he'd spoken so many times before. "Thank you, Master." But his mind was in turmoil now. Intellectually he had known all along that the training bond would be dissolved upon his knighting, but now that it was actually happening he felt more than a little lost. That bond had been there for more than fourteen years, for more than half of his life. To have it suddenly gone was disorienting. His master had always been there for him in any time of need, be it great or small. Now he was saying good-bye and it was freeing and painful at the same time.

The new Knight accepted the Council's congratulations with a new found humility in the face of what an enormous step this truly was for him and smoothly exited the room. His pace as he moved through the hallways and familiar corridors was slow and measured as his thoughts whipped around in his head like leaves caught in a dust devil. He would be given separate quarters now. In fact, several initiates had probably already been drafted to move his things to his new chambers for him. He'd preformed that chore several times himself in his initiate days.

Qui-gon continued on his wandering way, not really headed anywhere. Since he no longer had a master and had not yet been given an assignment, his time was now totally his own, to do with as he pleased. He could go to one of the training rooms to spar or to the library or seek out his new quarters. Instead he chose to simply wander, pausing now and again to look out a window at the view or to touch a plant that decorated the hallway he was passing through. Slowly his mind settled, though he still would occasionally reach for the link to share an impression or a thought or a particularly moving sight with his master, but the link was gone.

Does Master Yoda reach out to me this way as well? he wondered. The thought made him pause. How did it feel for Master Yoda to break this bond that he had deliberately forged? It couldn't be any easier for him than it was for Qui-gon for the bond had run deep. And yet he had dissolved it just the same. The tall man stopped and rested his forearms on a window sill as he stared, unseeing, out at the panoramic view of Coruscant. Pride and amusement, those had both been in his master's mind during the ceremony. Love, that had been there too. Qui-gon dug deeper into the memory using the Force to bring up details that he had been too absorbed in other things to register consciously. Worry, anxiety, hope, those had all been present in his master's mind as well. Was that normal? Should he have felt those things, too?

It was much easier to be an apprentice, he mused. He had only needed to follow his master's orders and suggestions. Sure, Yoda hadn't done all his thinking for him or anything like that, but there had been that safety net of the short master's wisdom to fall back on should his own fail him. Now he was on his own. Qui-gon was suddenly glad that there hadn't been an assignment waiting for him. People lives had depended on him before, but in this direct a manner. Decisions that he made would affect the lives of those he was trying to help and protect. With Master Yoda beside him it had been easy, well maybe not easy, but it hadn't worried him like this. It hadn't been his responsibility.

Well, now he was a Knight.

He had responsibilities and obligations. He needed to start thinking actively about what was best, not for just himself, but for all those around him. Without trying to run their lives for them, a small voice in his mind warned him.

"Qui?" a soft voice broke into his thoughts and pulled his eyes from the vista they hadn't really been seeing anyway. "Qui, I didn't know you were back!" A petite form rushed down the hall toward him and leapt into his arms in a swirl of cream and brown robes.

"Allaeanne." He swung her in a circle before pulling her close and the young woman's lips met his in an enthusiastic kiss which he immediately returned.

When he finally set her back on her own feet her left hand reached up and combed through his dark brown hair. Her ebon tresses were a little longer than his own, falling in a thick coal-black sheet to curl ever so slightly at her chin. She let it grow that far and no farther. Her braid fell in front of her ear and plunged down to reach half way to her waist.

"Why didn't you comm me and let me know you were back?"

"I haven't had a moment to myself since we got back, Allae. Besides, how was I to know that you and Master S'taalch weren't out on one of your mercy missions?"

"All you had to do was call and ask. We have a message service, Qui-gon." Her soft violet eyes widened suddenly. "Qui-gon, where's your, your braid? Oh," her breath sucked in and a huge smile wreathed her face as the import of the missing hair hit her. "Congratulations!" She squealed joyfully for him. She knew just how much he'd been looking forward to it. Her fingers pulled and twisted the freshly cut strands of hair over his ear. They were just barely longer than the rest.

Allaeanne pushed up onto her tiptoes and used her grip on his hair to pull the tall man down to her level for another kiss. Her violet orbs danced and her pride in him and happiness for him shone out unabashedly. "Let's celebrate! I have the evening off. We can go down to that new Twi'lek restaurant in grid twelve and then go up to the Mount to watch the stars."

Qui-gon was caught up in her enthusiasm. The woman in his arms lifted one of his hands and brushed her lips across his knuckles, rather than pull him down for another kiss. Her friends had joked that she should just take a step-stool with them on their dates so that he wouldn't have to bend over so far all the time. The gesture, uniquely her own and one she'd adopted just for him, tugged at his heart.

"Qui-gon Jinn," she murmured, glancing up at him from under lowered lashes. "Jedi Knight."

Knight, the title brought a flood of new emotions with it, and remembrance of his new responsibilities. What was best for everybody, not just him. He looked down into those shining violet orbs and wished that he didn't have to do what his mind was telling him was the best course.

He was a Knight now and that meant that he would be sent out on missions of his own soon. Qui-gon knew Knights who had not been to Coruscant in more than five years and there were several who had not returned to the Temple since their knighting. He couldn't ask Allaeanne to put up with that. He couldn't ask anyone to put up with that and Allae most certainly deserved better than that.

"I'm not sure that's a good idea, Allae."

A sudden weight seemed to settle on her small shoulders. He could feel the Force move as she tapped into its currents and into the slender, fragile bond they'd created between them to sense what he was leading up to.

"Damn it, Qui-gon, don't do this. You don't have to." Her voice, usually so soft, was low and harsh with anticipated pain.

"Yes, I do. Allae, you deserve better than only seeing me a couple of times a year. I can't even guarantee that much, now." His hand stroked gently at her face as tears threatened to overflow the boundaries of her eyes.

With a force of effort, the young woman straitened her shoulders and blinked away the tears before they could fall. "Very well, Qui-gon. If that is what you feel is best."

"It is best, Allaeanne." He took her face in both his hands and placed a single, chaste kiss upon her forehead. The shining, simple bond between them disintegrated like a line of ashes in a stiff wind.

"Good-bye and good luck, Knight Jinn." Allaeanne's voice was cold and formal and it cut him to the quick. Couldn't she see that this was best? Something of his thought must have shown in his eyes for she relented for a single moment.

"Best, maybe. But is it right?"

She turned silently and walked away. Qui-gon could only stare after her and wonder if he hadn't just made the biggest mistake of his life.