�Kenobi.� Windu waved his hand in front of the seemingly dazed padawan. �How many fingers am I holding up?�

Obi-Wan squinted at Mace�s fingers. �I can�t tell you, Master.� He mumbled apologetically.

Windu looked alarmed. �You can�t see them?�

�Itsss not that, Master. I can�t remember how to count.� He sighed dramatically and fell in a heap at the master�s feet.

�Obi-Wan?� Mace became worried. �Am I right in thinking that you and Padawan Cates are under the influence of alcohol?�

Obi-Wan let the question soak into his brain for a moment. �N-nno, Master. I�m not under the afluence of incahol.� He hiccuped quietly to himself, and finally, as his brain had been instructing him to do for some time, passed out on the ground.

Oh, great, thought Mace. Qui-Gon�s really going to be pleased with this one.

He was aware of the groggy presence of Simeon Cates at his shoulder. �Some people just can�t handle drink, I s'pose.� He said.

Windu just glared.

*******

Qui-Gon and Jemmiah had not made very much progress back towards the group, when they were halted by a somewhat furtive figure in a long coat loitering suspiciously, looking from side to side as if looking for surveillance. As they drew nearer, Jemmy had a pretty good idea what was going on, but Qui-Gon seemed either not to notice or to not care. Stepping in front of Jemmiah, the disheveled looking man pulled back his long coat. He was, as she expected, wearing not a stitch on his body.

Before Qui-Gon could intervene, she looked the man up and down, shaking her head.

�My commiserations to your wife.� She smiled, grabbing hold of Qui-Gon�s arm and marching him down the path as quickly as possible.

�I�m afraid I seem to attract all manner of strange people.� She apologized to Qui-Gon when they were sufficiently away from the stranger. She winked at him.

Looking back over his shoulder, Qui-Gon�s initial fears for Jemmiah eased.

Perhaps she�d be all right after all.

*******

Padawan Kylenn stared. There�s something funny going on here, she thought�

She looked all about her. There was nothing different. Nothing out of the ordinary. Just that feeling: the one that said �I don�t know what�s wrong, but something nasty is gonna happen any second� persisting and tugging at her. Abran would call her an over-imaginative idiot. But then again, that was a particular criticism that had been leveled at him on numerous occasions.

Well, the idiot part at least.

Still her force sense screamed at her, and every passing moment heightened her anticipation of possible lurking dangers. The kids were still singing, still dancing and making altogether too much noise. Stars, this particular group must have thought they�d touched lucky when they had been assigned to her, because there was no way that Master Jinn or Master Windu would have let them get away with this kind of din.

She watched the Wookie initiate enjoying himself, clapping in time to that silly song of Jay Abran�s. If she never heard it again it would be too soon. It was forever ingrained in her brain, she feared, and as for those silly actions�

What is wrong? Why am I so nervous?

Was it because of the children? She could never understand how people could dare have offspring. The fear she felt for the initiates was overwhelming, and they weren�t even hers! Certainly, there was no way she could pass the Wookie off as her own. Jay Abran would no doubt have something to say about that, some sort of obscene joke.

She wished he were here.

I wish I were like him, sometimes, she thought. I know there�s a time for diplomacy and tact, skills I have been told I possess. But what I wouldn�t give to have his confidence! How does he do it?

Padawan Kenobi�s friend has that same, easy-going charm, too. She has so much vivacity and wit, singling her out from any number of people. Jemmiah could walk into a cantina and turn heads.

Padawan Cates has been known to turn stomachs. Perhaps she had been lucky after all. He had that horrible thing he did with his toes�

STOP WORRYING!!!

She couldn�t help it. The urge to contact Master Jinn was overwhelming, and her hand fell instinctively to her comlink. But there was no reason to, and Master Jinn had said only to do so if it were urgent. She swallowed.

BUT I KNOW SOMETHING�S WRONG!

Get a grip of yourself, she chided. What on Coruscant could go wrong at a zoo, for Sith�s sake? The kids were safe, having the time of their lives away from the discipline of the temple. None of that disgusting so-called nutritious gloop they served initiates as food. Nothing but happiness at being with their friends. Just one look at their cheerful faces told her she was right. They trusted her completely.

And that was why they were able to enjoy themselves. Free from harm, secure in her capable charge.

She didn�t feel capable.

She made up her mind, and thumbed the comlink. �Master Jinn, it�s Padawan Kylenn here. I..I know you didn�t want us to contact you unless it was a dire emergency but I have this awful feeling that��

Looking upwards, Kylenn froze. The comlink fell from her grasp and onto the ground.

Watching her from amongst the trees was an extremely large eye.

*******

Master Windu was tempted to utter a string of expletives for not the first time that afternoon, as he looked at the semi-conscious form of Padawan Kenobi. He was fairly unresponsive, even after they had forced some lukewarm caff down his throat.

Well, actually most of it had gone down his chin.

The spectacle had drawn a crowd of curious initiates, all circling Obi-Wan for a better look.

�Is he dead?� asked Toms as he wiped his nose on his sleeve.

�Of course not!� muttered Isadora, standing on her tiptoes. �If he were dead they wouldn�t be making him drink that caff, would they?�

Sabra-Ni stood next to Mace. �Master Windu, what does �Up the stick mean?�

Mace�s eyes bulged. �Pardon?�

The little girl continued. �I heard Padawan Cates say that Padawan Kenobi had got Jemmiah �Up the stick.� What does it mean, Master?�

�Err�um..well, it�s a bit difficult to explain, really.� Stammered Mace.

�It means she�s going to have a baby, silly.� Growled Isadora.

�Ohhhhhhhhhh!� Sabra-Ni smiled knowingly. �That�s nice. I like babies!�

�I don�t know why,� Isadora grumbled. �All they do is eat and cry and p��

�When did you hear this?� Mace interrupted.

�I heard Padawan Cates say it five minutes ago. He was holding his head in his hands and talking to the bench.� Sabra-Ni replied earnestly.

Windu closed his eyes. It hadn�t been much of a surprise, really, but he had hoped to be proven wrong�

Qui-Gon! He would be livid!

�Does Master Jinn know about this?� he asked, his throat feeling suddenly dry.

Isadora�s face held an angelic smile. �I told him.�

�You did?!�

�Sure. Somebody had to.�

Windu dropped Obi-Wan from his half-sitting position back onto the ground with a sharp thud. �Sith, he�ll kill her!� He stood up briskly. �And then he�ll kill me!�

Isadora watched his panic set in.

�Good.� She mumbled under her breath.

He raced off in the direction that Obi-Wan had returned from. He had to tell him his side of things, and fast. Once Qui-Gon found out that he�d been helping to organize their secret meetings�

He was going to cop it, and then some!

*******

�I�m telling you, Master Jinn, she�s been eaten.� Was Jemmiah�s pessimistic take on the current state of affairs. �Something big and horrible with mandibles the size of a tramp freighter is probably as we speak using Kylenn as a toothpick, whilst deciding which of the initiates to have as seconds.�

�I don�t think you should be joking.� Said Qui-Gon sternly.

�Who said I WAS joking?� she retorted smartly. �We heard Bai said the animals were loose. This IS a zoo. One which, if I may add, prides itself on having the most repulsive, not to mention dangerous selection of uglies on display in the galaxy. In which case...�

�In which case, I want you to remain with me. At all times, where I can keep an eye on you. I mean it, Jemmiah. I know what you�re like. Calamity and catastrophe are drawn to you like Jawas to a scrap-heap.�

He saw her about to argue. �You are staying with me whether you like it or not. I already have too much to explain to your guardian as it is.�

�Where are we going?� She asked irritably.

�To find our horrible, tramp freighter sized, padawan eating creature.� Replied Jinn. He motioned her forward and seeing her reluctant expression added reassuringly �Don�t worry. You�ll be perfectly safe with me. I promise you.�

Why didn�t he believe his own words?

*******

Boy, that little guy can drive, An-Paj thought as he clung to the dashboard of Yoda's airspeeder. Beside him, Yoda dodged a slow-moving skiff, downshifted, and made the small engine scream with full throttle.

"Almost there, we are. Enjoying this, I am, hehe, hm", Yoda said as he swung the steering wheel, and somehow made the speeder go even faster.

An-Paj's jaw dropped. Impossible! This model- the aptly named Incom Padawan- only has a 350-klick top speed. An-Paj should know. That gearhead initiate who broke a leg last year could bore to galactic standard on the topic of airspeeders.

An-Paj's reverie stopped when Yoda pulled into the zoo parking lot, abruptly stopped, and just as abruptly spoke.

An-Paj became the only human alive who had heard Yoda swear- and what a swearer! But with good reason, An-Paj thought as he looked at the scene in the lot. Police cruisers were everywhere, some on their sides or roofs. Animals were wandering around, dazed by the flashing lights. Others were chasing assorted sentients. And he didn't even want to think about what that Bantha was doing to the Temple hoverbus. Well, the bus is big and brown. Not furry, though. Much more of this, and the Bantha won't be, either.

"Our work, we have cut out for us."

Once again Yoda had brought An-Paj back to the moment.

"No poodoo," An-Paj said.

As if on cue, a pikobi that had decided Yoda's speeder hood was a nice cozy spot to watch the mayhem issued an odd squishy noise, followed by an odder smell.

"Poodoo," Yoda stated flatly as they started toward the gates.

*******

The eye blinked.

Padawan Kylenn felt as if she had grown roots. The urge to run conflicted strongly against the equally powerful urge to stay completely frozen to the ground on which she stood. As both hidden creature and padawan observed each other, the initiates played not so very far away, completely oblivious.

That, thought Kylenn, is one monster eye. And monster eyes usually came attached to monster beings. She didn�t know what that thing was, but she would give any odds it wasn�t a Corellian tree squirrel.

OK. Think.

It�s big. Not all big things are necessarily carnivorous. But her force sense was telling her that it probably was. And anyway, why would it bother watching them with such interest if it was a vegetarian? What sort of creature would be that big? It would have to be something taller than a Bantha�about the same size as, say, a Rancour.

A RANCOUR?!!

She felt her blood turn into a river of ice. Did Coruscant zoo have a Rancour? And if it did, WHAT THE HELL WAS IT DOING OUTSIDE ITS ENCLOSURE?

Probably got bored of the all-keeper diet and thought it would try padawan for a change, her inner voice mocked. She glanced up at that big, dilating eye. It was looking towards the children. No doubt, the loud noise, dancing and cavorting was proving highly interesting to the hidden observer.

She HAD to stop them.

Inching backwards, step by painfully slow step, Kylenn did not remove her eyes from the trees.

*******

�Master Jinn.�

�Hmmm?�

Qui-Gon did not stop for a moment. If he�d been in a hurry to reach Kylenn before, his pace most certainly did not slack now. In fact, his concentration had never seemed stronger. Jemmiah noticed how he kept his eyes fixed upon the ground as he walked. He must be doing something with that force stuff of his, she thought. Either that or he was trying desperately not to notice all the half-naked people that suddenly seemed to line the pathways.

Jemmiah�s eyebrows quirked upwards.

�Forgive me for saying this Master Jinn, but haven�t you noticed the number of undressed beings that we keep running into?�

His step became brisker. �I had, yes.�

�There�s an awful lot of them.� She frowned, staring at yet another one of the longcoat brigade. �Sith on a stick! You could hang your laundry out to dry on��

Qui-Gon caught hold of her arm and started to pull her along. �Just keep moving.� He said under his breath.

Jemmy complied, but kept looking around her. �There�s women amongst them as well.� She puzzled as she stared at the figures.

� Are there really.� Qui-Gon continued not to notice like the dutiful Jedi he was.

A devious smile spread upon Jemmiah�s face. �That one looks just like Master Depa Billaba!�

�Hmm...er..what?� Qui-Gon�s head snapped up in surprise.

�Ha, ha!�

Jinn responded by pulling her even more quickly along the path. �Very amusing, Jemmiah.� He growled. �Although I can�t put you over my knee, don�t think I�m not tempted.�

Jemmiah snickered. �Padawan Abran said that to me once.� Her expression sobered. �I hit him.�

Pity you didn�t hit my padawan, thought Qui-Gon, then we might none of us be in this mess.

�I don�t see what�s wrong. If these people want to ditch their clothes, why not let �em. It must be a very liberating experience.� She continued after a while.

�I�m sure it is,� replied Qui-Gon, �except that there�s a time and a place for everything, and this doesn�t strike me as either.�

�Perhaps.� Jemmy conceded, seeing that Qui-Gon was about to lecture her about staring at the convergence of naked people. Out the corner of her eye she saw that one of them had a sign strategically placed over a rather personal area. It said: NAKED AND PROUD OF IT. And right next to him was a small, pear-shaped woman, holding a similar placard which read: IT�S GOOD TO BE NUDE.

�I know,� grinned Jemmiah. �It�s a perverts convention.�

Qui-Gon was thinking furiously. Somewhere at the back of his mind he remembered that there had been a recent dispute between the zoo and a group of so called naturists over neighboring land. The zoo had wanted to extend further onto this ground, whilst the naturists had demanded the right to throw both caution, and their clothing to the winds. They fought desperately to keep the land, which was understandable as Coruscant was completely built over, an entire planet sculpted from layer upon layer of permacrete and metal. Any pockets of land, however small, were special.

They had lost the case.

The ruling went to the zoo, on the principle that the children would probably find the animals more interesting.

Even if the adults wouldn�t.

Protests had been threatened by the naturists, but seemingly forgotten in recent weeks. Until now. Sighing, the Jedi Master risked a glance up. Hadn�t they already been round this way? He glanced up at the pale faced Jemmiah, and lessened his speed. She still didn�t look too bright, despite her cheerful expression. She shrugged.

�Don�t look at me. I thought you must have wanted a second look. At the scenery, that is.�

�Didn�t it occur to you to tell me that we�ve been going round in circles?� Qui-Gon tried to keep his annoyance in check.

�You�re the navigator. If you hadn�t spent so much time staring at the ground you would have realized for yourself.� She replied heatedly. �I didn�t want to come here today, you know. If it hadn�t have been for Obi-Wan��

Qui-Gon did not need reminding of his padawan�s part in proceedings. He clicked his tongue off the roof of his mouth in frustration as he looked at her. She returned her best �poor little me� look.

�Master Jinn,� she mumbled unhappily, �I think I�ve been poisoned. I really don�t feel well.�

�Poisoned?� He echoed, shock spreading across his face. �What are you talking about?� He placed a hand to her forehead. If Jemmiah never cried, she rarely whined either.

�I only took a mouthful.� She said defensively.

�A mouthful?� Queried Qui-Gon. He had the feeling he wasn�t going to like this.

Her bottom lip trembled just a fraction. �It was that stuff that Simeon brought with him��

�WHAT?!� Qui-Gon�s jaw dropped. �Are you out of your mind? Look what it has done to Simeon. Not to mention Obi-Wan. At least I�m assuming that�s what�s wrong with him.�

He looked her in the eye, worried. �You shouldn�t be drinking that stuff. You shouldn�t be drinking AT ALL.� Flustered, his paternal worry began to take effect once more. If she wanted to harm herself then she was going the right way about it. A further thought left him cold; perhaps she was wanting to do just that.

�One mouthful, you say?�

She nodded. �Well, maybe it was more like three or four.�

Qui-Gon closed his eyes.

�Do you mind if I sit down?� She asked, already lowering herself onto the verge. �You should go on and find Kylenn.�

The arm went protectively back over her shoulders. �I don�t think so.� He kneeled down beside her. �I meant what I said. You�re staying with me where I can keep an eye on you.�

She started twisting her hair round her finger again. �You were all set to murder me half an hour ago.�

�We have to look forwards, not backwards.� Qui-Gon offered.

She looked at him hopefully. �I�m sorry about your vase.�

�And I�m sorry I missed your birthday.� He smiled.

�That�s OK. If I get another rock for my birthday I�ll have to hire Evla�s apartment out as a quarry.� She wrinkled her nose. �Master Mace must have quite a lot of rocks now.�

�Oh, yes. Too many to count. And as for Yoda��

Jemmiah nudged him gently on the arm. He turned round and followed her gaze to find one of the semi-naked people in the long coats approaching from behind.

�It�s him again.� Jemmiah frowned. �You know, the psycho we met earlier who��

�Yes, I do remember.� Muttered Qui-Gon.

�I was just going to say that I recognized his��

�Thank you, Jemmiah.�

�Face!� I was going to say face.� She looked hurt. As he continued over to them, Jemmiah saw ten or so others of his ilk huddling together in the background, talking. She bent over to whisper in Qui-Gon�s ear �I think someone should tell him that his sign�s missing.� She gestured to her lower area.

Avoiding the temptation to bury his face in his hands, Qui-Gon didn�t blink as he found himself staring the man in the navel.

�Good day to you, sir.� He held out his hand. Qui-Gon ignored it.

�I�m from the Coruscant Naturist group, and I was just wondering if I could count on your support,�

"Don't you have one of your own?" Jemmiah asked innocently. Qui-Gon looked warningly at her.

The man held aloft what looked to be a petition with not very many names on it, �No. I meant support in our current dispute with the zoo, who have erroneously been awarded our��

�If you don�t mind,� Qui-Gon waved him away, �my companion is not feeling very well and I think we would appreciate it if you left us alone.�

�Oh, dear.� The man frowned, staring at Jemmiah. �The poor love. What�s the matter with her? She does look a little peaky.�

Jemmy glared. �Thank you!�

�In that case, I�ll just leave you to yourselves,� he grinned affably, � but if you could just have a look at our petition, I would be very grateful.�

Qui-Gon was about to shake his head when Jemmiah took the petition away from the balding man. �Oh, come on, Master Jinn. What harm can it do?� Delighted, the man backed away several paces, loitering once more, hands in pockets.

Her eyes scanned the group of signatures. �I didn�t know Senator Palpatine was into this sort of thing!� She chuckled gleefully. Her fingers dropped downwards over the names. �Mmm! Quite a distinguished bunch they�ve got backing them on this one. Chancellor Valorum�s made it on this list too. Buzz Messenger the actor�oh, look! Bail Organa of Alderaan!�

�Let me see.� Qui-Gon stared at the list. �Sith! Master Yoda�s name�s on this!�

�And Yaddle�s.�

Qui-Gon groaned. �We cannot have the Jedi temple connected with anything like this. And I am NOT putting my name on this list.�

�Well, I am.� decided Jemmiah. She waved the man back over. �I shall be delighted to sign.� She stood up, swaying just a little, and walked over to the happy man who was clearly ecstatic. �My friend may appear to be shy,� she whispered so that Qui-Gon couldn�t hear, �but I know he won�t think it remiss of me if I put his name down on his behalf. You know,� she smirked, �he once tried to do something similar to this, a year or so ago but he and a group of friends from the Jedi temple got arrested for it. That�s probably why he�s so reluctant to sign up for your little group, otherwise I�m sure��

�No,� said the man, clearly impressed, �arrested you say?�

�Shocking, isn�t it,� Jemmiah cooed sympathetically. �I mean, what is this galaxy coming to if you can�t take your clothes off in a public place?�

�You�re so right!� He turned round and waved to all his friends. �Come on over and meet our new group members!� Looking at the names, he shouted, �Give a warm welcome to Padawan Kylenn and Master Qui-Gon Jinn!�

He looked murderously at her, eyes promising revenge. She shrugged, as if to say, �You didn�t think I was going to give MY name, did you? They�re all perverts!�

The man walked over to the Jedi, and pumped his arm up and down. �You are a real hero, Master Jinn!� He smiled.

As the other naturists surrounded him enthusiastically, Qui-Gon wondered what exactly Jemmiah had told them.

And more importantly, how he was going to escape.