"This thing's getting very hot." Windu complained.

"I don't know what to do."

The keeper wrung his hands. A small gathering had congregated around the stricken Jedi, initiates, visitors and keepers. There were in fact more keepers in the enclosure than Murrits, all equally at a loss, all sharing words of encouragement and hope with the unfortunate master.

All completely useless.

It'd been over an hour since the damned thing had glued itself to his head, but still Mace didn't panic. He knew that Qui-Gon would be able to help him. He had a rapport with creatures of all kinds. He was strong in the living force. He'd know what to do. He had to know.

Force, somebody had to know!

"I'm so sorry," apologized the keeper for the thousandth time. "We've run out of ideas... I mean, we've tried coaxing it with it's favorite food, but you can remember the effect that had..."

"YES, thank you." Hissed Mace.

"But I'm sure the stain will come off your robe, and the zoo has offered to pay for any cleaning bills incurred..."

"YES!"

"We just don't know what to do." He finished lamely again.

"I do." came an overly cheerful, lilting voice. "There's a man outside the enclosure with a holocam. I say we hire him and take some photo's!"

"Jemmiah!?" Windu yelled. The Murrit began to dig its claws in his head in retaliation for all the noise.

"DAMNATION, this things really beginning to get on my..."

"Don't say it Master Windu," smiled Jemmy, "You have an audience of at least twenty five, not including your children here, and it's growing all the time." She paused and looked about. "And by the time the news reporters get here..."

"Reporters!"

"Oh, yes. I should have thought so." Jemmiah walked round him. "It's not every day you see such a high ranking Jedi from the temple in a situation where..."

"ALRIGHT!" He counted to ten. "I'll be fine once Qui-Gon gets here."

She smiled lop-sidedly. "I must say, this is a new look for you Mace. Or is it an old one? Very becoming."

"You're really not helping."

"Nice perfume, too."

He aimed a pretend kick at her. The Murrit growled.

Jemmy shrugged. "I only spotted your little group by chance. I was trying to stay out of Master Jinn's way."

Mace felt his head growing heavier and heavier..."Can't you do something?"

"Me? What can I do that twenty five trained zoo keepers can't?"

"How about whatever it is you do that's got Padawan Kenobi so enraptured." He growled.

"Oh, yes." she frowned. "That reminds me. I've been round this place so many times but without any success. Where's the Gurnaf area, do you know?"

"Why?"

"I'm s'posed to meet Ben."

Despite himself, and the fact that nobody could see it, Windu grinned nastily. "Ben, is it now?" Jemmiah went scarlet.

"I'm not in much of a position to be seeing anything." He grumbled behind his curtain of Murrit hair.

"Well, I'd better leave you to it, then," she said archly, and began to walk away.

"Jemmiah," called Windu after her, "If you see Qui-Gon, tell him please to move his rear down in this direction please."

Mace could almost see the predatory grin on her face, and somehow, he knew it was not going to bode well for him.

"Oh, yes." she giggled. "I did see Master Jinn, but for his part he did seem very preoccupied with his official escort."

"Escort?"

She told him.

I AM SO DEAD, thought Mace. The hope he had been feeling earlier had completely deflated. A feeling of claustrophobia, accompanied by the sound of a contented Murrit sigh replaced it. He tried counting to ten again, but only got as far as four before the panic he had so resolutely fought kicked in full blast.

"WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE GET QUI-GON JINN!!!!�

*******

"Look, I'm telling you the truth."

Qui-Gon Jinn could not believe the bizarre, not to mention downright embarrassing turn for the worse his fortune had taken in the last hour or so. His eyes were shut tight in a mixture of disbelief and frustration. No matter what he did, or how he explained it, his questioners were not interested in learning the truth. It was a closed subject; as far as they were concerned, he was guilty as charged.

And he was deep in Bantha dung.

At the back of his mind, several strains of thought seemed to crash off one another simultaneously, causing a dread to spill over into his present predicament. A lot was going on here... Mace Windu sometimes managed to find trouble in the most unusual circumstances. Obi-Wan seemed to attract it like a magnet! And Jemmiah...she had a tendency to court trouble as if it were a way of life! The thought made Qui-Gon edgy. The fact that she was here had to be more than a mere coincidence and he didn't like it one little bit. Then of course, there was the problem of the missing child. Yoda would be heartily displeased. The temple could not afford another scandal, after that "indecent exposure" incident. Qui-Gon would never get onto the Jedi council now.

He smiled. Something good had come from today's little escapade after all.

He brushed the thought away from his mind and reprimanded himself for allowing it to surface in such a potentially crucial situation. He was forever admonishing his padawan for not focusing on the present, and here HE was, allowing the force currents not merely to guide him but to plague him with those infernal "bad feelings" his apprentice seemed to complain of on a regular basis.

Qui-Gon wrapped himself within the living force and breathed deeply.

The bad feeling remained.

His tormentors looked at him scathingly from across a small table, clearly trying to intimidate him.

"Sure," said the burly, balding man who had helped to march him to the detention area. "You're a Jedi. So you keep saying." He gestured to another of the on duty security men standing behind his shoulder, making little circular movements by the side of his head. "We've got a right lunatic here, Charnan."

"Looks like it." grinned the other man, who seemed to be enjoying the whole affair. The burly man leaned back in towards Qui-Gon. "Know what I think?"

"Tell me." sighed Jinn.

"I think that if YOU'RE a Jedi", he waved to a nearby enclosure outside of the building, "I'M a pile of Gundark manure."

"Interesting point of comparison." Qui-Gon said neutrally.

"Don't get smart, mister. You're in plenty of trouble as it is without digging a deeper hole for yourself. We don't much care for child abductors on Coruscant."

"Nor should you. But I'm not a child abductor," Qui-Gon repeated for the umpteenth time, "I'm a..."

"A Jedi knight." The security man interrupted. "Yes, we've heard it all before."

"And yet you don't believe me."

The man folded his arms and sat back in his chair, studying him. "No way are you a Jedi. You're hair's far to long. Whoever heard of a Jedi with long hair? Any longer and you could be mistaken for my sister. Minus the beard, of course."

Qui-Gon's irritation grew stronger at the flippancy. "Why won't you listen to me?"

The security man scratched an armpit, considering. "OK. If you're a Jedi knight, then you could say, for example...levitate that crate of frozen fish out in the yard there."

Qui-Gon looked out the window to where two workers were helping unload a transport of its crates.

"I could." He replied placidly, looking directly at the man's face.

"Well, go on then."

Jinn shook his head. "That would be a frivolous use of the force."

The man smirked. "Is that right? All right, then. How about we contact the Jedi temple and ask them if they're missing a Jedi Master?"

Qui-Gon tried to push down the growing bile he felt gathering in his stomach. There was no way he wanted ANYONE at the temple to find out. Especially not Yoda.

"I'd rather you didn't." He replied, some of the famous Jinn cool beginning to evaporate.

"I wonder why."

The man stood up and walked towards his colleague, motioning him to one side.

"I think you'd better call for a head doctor." He whispered.

"What, you think he's one dancing girl short of a Hutt's harem?"

"Something like that. Just call them and get them to pick him up as soon as possible. There's something very strange about this one. Gives me the creeps."

"Maybe that's because he's a Jedi." laughed the other.

Qui-Gon levered himself from his chair. "Look, gentlemen. I think I know a way I can convince you..."

The men turned round together, just in time to see Qui-Gon reach into his robe and pull out the lightsabre he had been carrying. "Now would I be carrying one of these if I wasn't..."

"Look out sir, he's armed!" came a cry from Qui-Gon's left. He wheeled round in time to meet the impact square on in the chest, as another security man ran in and launched a flying tackle at the Jedi. The two of them fell together to the ground.

Qui-Gon was completely winded. He tried to use the force to recover as quickly as possible, but breath was still not coming to him readily. He shook his head to try to regain his wits. His tackler should have been a professional Smashball player, judging by the strength behind that leap.

"Good work Dodds." The burly man said, before facing his colleague once more. "Have you got Alderaani treacle for brains? Didn't it occur to you to search this maniac, Charnan?"

"No sir." mumbled the younger man, downcast.

"How did you ever get a job in this place?" The first man threw up his hands wildly.

"Don't know, sir."

"Neither do I."

He glanced over at Qui-Gon. "Restrain him. I don't want any more little..."

That was as far as he got. Qui-Gon, who'd been recovering slowly, had had more than enough. If they wanted to see the force in action, he thought, he'd give them a demonstration they'd never forget.

The door flew open as if by magic. Qui-Gon called his lightsabre to his hand from out of Charnan's sweaty grasp. If this display of telekinesis had impressed them, they never got the chance to show their appreciation.

Qui-Gon picked the burly security man up with the force and levitated him some ten feet off the ground.

The terror the man experienced at his sudden loss of contact with terra firma seemed to overrule his vocal chords, as only the merest of frightened, childish squeaks came from his throat. But Qui-Gon hadn't finished.

He marched through the open doorway and into the outside yard, the man still levitating some three feet above now, swinging his arms frantically in a vague flapping motion. Jinn couldn't help but smile. Across the yard he walked, and onwards towards the Gundark enclosure. And then stopped.

Dangling momentarily in mid air the security man was hoisted suddenly upwards, then over the force barrier, and finally dropped from what Qui-Gon thought was a reasonable height into the awaiting heap of Gundark waste material piled in a great, triangular stack.

Qui-Gon stood back to examine his handiwork for a moment. Then he turned to the two other guards who had followed him out into the yard.

"I think we've established beyond doubt what I am." He said simply, eyebrow raised. He clipped his lightsabre onto his belt. "I think we've also established what your friend is, too."

Thus saying, Qui-Gon turned and walked away.

The two men just stared with open mouths as the tall Jedi left with no further words, walking purposely away in the direction they had brought him. They followed him with their eyes, watching as he was met some ten seconds later by a little boy, holding a young woman's hand, and a very large and angry looking man. The little boy pointed at the Jedi. After some furious gesturing and swearing they heard a cry of "I'll teach you to abduct innocent children", followed by the sound of a meaty fist connecting with the face of the other man.

After a brief look of satisfaction, the angry man pulled his family away from the stunned Jedi Master and began to walk in the opposite direction, leaving a bruised and bloody Qui-Gon Jinn sitting on the permacrete, wondering how the hell he was going to explain his already visible black eye to Obi-Wan Kenobi.

*******

Sitting on the bench watching the initiates fighting amongst themselves, Obi-Wan and Simeon Cates shared their misfortunes with each other over frequent nips from the hip flask that Simeon had produced. It occurred to Obi-Wan to wonder if Simeon was a trifle unsteady...and perhaps just a little, well, green around the gills, as it were. And then he wondered if he were fairing any better.

Master Qui-Gon will kill me if he thinks I'm molassed, he thought, smiling at his use of the Corellian slang for �nicely drunk, thank you�. And where is Jemmy, anyhow?

"Hey, Obi," slurred Simeon. "You know how you can tell if you're in for a good night's fun with your girl?"

Obi-Wan wasn't sure he needed any advice from Simeon when it came to the subject of the fairer sex, but nodded for him to go on.

"Check her shoes."

Obi-Wan blinked.

"Her shoes?"

"Yeah," Simeon hiccuped a little. He looked more than a little unsteady, Obi-Wan decided."Or her boots. Footwear." He bent over and waved futilely at his toes. "If she's wearing shoes with kind of pointed toes, you're on to a certain thing."

Obi-Wan couldn't quite get the logic. "Sorry?" he asked, baffled.

"It's symbolic."

"It is?"

"Yeah. It says I WANT YOU. If she's wearing black shoes or boots with large, chunky heels, you're doing very well. If they're shiny shoes, you're doing even better."

Obi-Wan frowned. "What if they're shiny black shoes or boots with chunky heels and pointed toes? What does that say?"

Simeon grinned lasciviously. "It says "Tell Master Jinn that I won't be home until the wee, small hours."

The older padawan shook his head. "Where did you get that garbage from?"

"Padawan Dimallie. She's a font of completely useless information."

"She's also very pretty."

"Yup. Pity she's so dashed thick. She's got the brains of a Nerf."

Obi-Wan let that pass.

"I'll tell you what all that symbolic stuff says," replied Simeon, picking up his flask, "It means that we should have another drink."

Kenobi sighed. "There's too much blood in my alcohol stream."

No. That wasn't right, was it?

Never mind. He wasn't going fret over a few little words. He watched Simeon turn the flask upside down and then wave it about.

"Damn. Finished it." He said with irritation. Cates reached into his robe once more, before producing yet another identical hip flask. "Nevermind," he said to Obi-Wan as he unstopped it, "Lots more where that came from."

He took a long swallow from the flask. "May the force be with you, my friend!"

*******

Mace could feel rather than see the ever-growing presence of the onlookers on both sides of the Murrit enclosure, catching the hushed muttering and covert whispers from the gathering crowds.

And the laughter.

Oh, he'd heard THAT all right. It was extremely difficult, he thought, to retain any semblance of dignity when you had a large, smelly creature composed almost entirely of hair trying to win the Coruscant Zoo Parent of the decade award by taking up residence where he wasn't wanted. And Mace had to hand it to this fellow; he'd really forged a strong relationship with the top of his head.

Every few seconds, the Jedi�s thoughts turned to Qui-Gon Jinn. Like where was he now? Where was the missing child?

And how long would it be before Mace could give him a good kicking?

Damn him for leaving me like this! All I'd done was show a little bit of enterprise, and what did I get for all my pains? A furry ass hanging over his face.

He hadn't realized initially which end was which, but any confusion on the matter ended very swiftly for him when the keepers had, after huddling in a tight scrum to discuss their plans - not that they seemed to have any - retreated round his back with a large stem of Dilarberries to tempt it off his head. But the greatest plans of Murrits and men seemed doomed to go spectacularly awry when the berries had produced the inevitable consequences. Yes, if he'd had any doubts about what end he was facing, they stopped there. His one consolation was that nobody could see his face.

That had seemed such a long time ago now, and Windu cursed with all his might his ill luck. It happened every time he and Qui-Gon went out socially. They would both get into trouble, yet Qui-Gon would always come out smelling of rose petals. He always came out smelling of...

In this case, quite literally.

More ruminations from the keepers drifted his way, but from what Mace could gather they didn't seem to have any new light to shed on the case. His nosed twitched, and he felt the urge to sneeze.

Trust me to be allergic to Murrit hair, he thought.

Despite his quivering nose, Mace thought he could smell something other than Murrit hair and excrement and the faint brush in his mind of another presence just by his shoulder. A non-Jedi mind.

"Why are you still here?" he spat, fury coloring his voice at the continued torment that only this particular being could bring.

Jemmiah pouted. "That's nice, I must say."

Ever since the keepers had let her in to the enclosure, Jemmy's inventive Corellian mind had been working overtime to come up with a solution to Mace's problem. She liked Mace. Even if she liked the new hairy Mace even better.

"I thought you could do with some moral support."

He swallowed, guilty for snapping at her. "I'm sorry for being abrupt. It's just that I'm not at my best at the moment."

"I can imagine the view's not very stimulating either." he heard the muffled reply through his tangle of newly acquired hair.

"Not unless I was another Murrit, no." muttered Windu. "I mean it. Thanks for staying."

THAT'S MORE THAN CAN BE SAID FOR SOME PEOPLE, he thought.

"That's OK."

Mace heard the Murrit yawn. "It's getting rather settled, I'm afraid." Jemmiah tried to find a suitable level of gravitas in her voice, and failed miserably. Mace didn't answer at first. And when he did, he didn't sound pleased.

"Perhaps you should go and keep an eye on the kids." He stated. "Take them round the rest of the zoo."

"Why? They seem to be having a very good time as it is."

"Is that right."

"Oh, yes. In fact, young Sabra-Ni said she hadn't ever had such a good time."

Mace growled. "Weren't you meant to meet Obi-Wan?"

The young lady nodded, blinking those large copper eyes that seemed to have such an effect on everyone. "I'll find him. But this is much more entertaining."

Mace sighed. If only they'd taught him this sort of thing at the temple. But there had been no suggestions as what to do when a wild animal glued itself rear first to your face. He made a mental note to ask Yoda to include it in further survival training classes.

"I bought you some spicy Takkini-chips."

So THAT had been the smell. His stomach began to growl at the thought of proper food.

"But I noticed you couldn't really partake, as it were, in your current condition. So I ate them." Right on cue, she shoved the last chip in her mouth with what seemed like a malicious and deliberate loud crunch. The sound of a scrumpled packet followed soon after.

"They were very nice, though."

"It's the thought that counts." gritted Mace.

"I like the spicy stuff, especially in the last few weeks, for some reason. I've had a real craving for them. I'd better stop eating them so much though. I mean all that kind of food's not good for you, is it? I'm trying to keep my figure for as long as possible."

"What's wrong with your figure?" Mace asked uneasily.

"Well," Jemmy said, "You can never tell when it's going to go, can you? Sometimes it can happen overnight."

Something about her words felt ominous to Mace, but he tucked the thought away.

"I'm going to see if I can't come up with a solution to your problem, Master Windu." She patted him on the arm and walked towards the keepers.

"You do that." Sighed Mace in relief at the thought that SOMEONE was trying to be of help. He listened to her footsteps retreating through the long grass and as he did so, the bad feeling he had had seconds earlier came back to tug at his mind.