Dear Diary, thought, An-Paj. It�s been a strange sort of day. It started out routinely enough, you know, the usual thing. Dimallie managed to mix up a urine sample with a glucose solution, but that�s kind of routine for her. Caught Padawan Healer Cates playing the teeth switch game, which I believe was invented by one Padawan Kenobi and a certain Corellian female of his acquaintance during a recent truth or dare episode. Poor old Master Quirida-Xac thought his gums had shrunk when he tried to put in Mistress Rozella�s false teeth instead of his own�

I think Healer Ferdi Xadaani has developed a crush on me. This is understandable, but I can�t really be seen to encourage it. I don�t want to commit myself to a long-term relationship, not at this stage in my life.

My six wives would have something to say about that.

It�s now the middle of the night and I�m stuck in a tree with more initiates than Master Yoda could normally shake a stick at and two sick padawans in a very bad state. Cates is looking very green. So is Kenobi. Come to think of it, so is Yoda�

Master Yoda had a brief argument with a fire extinguisher and, needless to say, he lost. He now looks like a piece of shoe leather. But one amusing thing has come from the whole episode; I managed to relate the tale about Qui-Gon setting off the water sprinklers in the temple to avoid one of Yoda�s initiate lectures without having Yoda poke me with his cane. In actual fact, it was one of many tales I�ve regaled the kids with today. Mostly involving Yoda. But of course, he�s not complaining. He�s frozen stiff as a carbonite block. The kid with the runny nose said it made Master Yoda look like some kind of puppet, whereupon there were attempts to shove grubby hands up Yoda�s back and various cries of �gottle of geer��

Yoda was not amused.

I�m a bit concerned about Kenobi. He�s had less to drink than Simeon, that much is evident from the color of his skin, but he seems a trifle unwell. While this occurrence is far from unusual (believe me, I should know) I am a little alarmed by his state of wellbeing, or rather lack of it. Oh, well. Plenty of time to check him out thoroughly after he�s come round from the stomach pump. If he gets bored, we�ve got plenty of reading material. His case notes from the last eight years for starters. After all, it�s not everyone who gets to have a ward in the building called after them, even if unofficially.

Qui-Gon has disappeared. So has Mace Windu and the other initiates and padawans. Bai�s a steady sort of chap, if a little easily flustered. I remember treating him during a botched attempt at �pin the tail on the Gundark� at the initiates� party last year. It was carnage. He got so dizzy with being spun round so many times that he managed to stab himself, six initiates and Master Berlingside with the pin before the game came to its blood stained conclusion.

Jemmiah Gleshan helped out with the catering. I�m not sure she should have put the Best Brand Old Flame Corellian Gin in the Jelli. But the kids liked it. And the masters did too�

Kenobi did the music for the party. Very generous of him to help out. Not that his master gave him a choice. The kids went back to the cr�che almost completely deaf. And Kenobi got electroshocked by the sound equipment. I would say that it made his hair stand on end, but you can�t really tell the difference.

Simeon Cates helped out by winning every game going. He was most upset when he lost that final round of pass the parcel. The boy is ultra competitive. Dimallie, on the other hand made a lasting contribution by forgetting that she placed her plate of Jelli on Master Windu�s seat�

Not surprisingly, the kids rated that as the highlight of the day.

It was only to be topped by Menali Jay Abran�s classic rendition of that well known children�s party tale: �The search for the triple armed, knife-wielding, headless pirate and his man eating Ffarfalak.�

Complete with actions.

The kids weren�t the only ones who were scared. Padawan Kylenn and even Qui-Gon looked about ready to dive under the nearest table! I hope and pray, along with many of my colleagues, that Master Yoda�s great campaigns to mix the padawans, masters and initiates will soon come to an end.

Bacta�s in short supply, you know.

Master Jinn seems to have a habit of picking up waifs and strays, or pathetic lifeforms as Obi-Wan secretly calls them. He�d better not let Jemmiah hear him say that! They act like an old married couple, those two.

Which reminds me, I got six calls from home today telling me I�d left my chrono on the bedside table.

Well then diary, until tomorrow.

An-Paj (Super-Healer)

*******

�She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me, she loves me not, she loves me��

Bai was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. He thought his luck had taken a turn for the better when he�d finally persuaded Master Windu to say something other than �quack!�

He�d been wrong.

�Master, please can we get��

�Shhh!� Windu huffed at him. �Nobody moves until I find out if she loves me.�

�Who�s that, Master Windy?� The Alderaani kid asked.

�Master Billaba, of course.� He sighed. �She�s gorgeous.�

He looked down at the small semi-denuded flower in his hand, squinting in concentration as he tried to use his mathematical skills to see if the three remaining petals would give him a favorable outcome. When he realized that he�d lost again, he grimaced.

�Oh, Sith!� He said crossly. �It�s a fix!�

He groped round with his hands to find another of the small flowers.

�You�ve already had thirty nine attempts, Master Windy,� The initiate stated with great solemnity, �And the result has been the same EVERY time. I think you have to face up to the fact that she probably hates you.�

Windu looked surprised. �How does such a small fry get to say such big, long sentences?�

�I�m precocious.�

�Hi, I�m Master Windu,� the Jedi stretched out a hand of welcome, �But you can call me Betsy.�

�Master, the other initiates are alone in the speeder��

�Who are you?� Mace asked suspiciously.

�I�m Bai. You remember,� he pointed at his chest, �Bai. BAI.� He emphasized.

�Hello, Bai-Bai.� He seemed to find that amusing. �Just as well it�s not Bye-bye, Bai-Bai!�

�Can�t you do something?� pleaded the padawan to keeper Dylain.

�I could put him out of his misery,� Dylain shrugged, �Other than that, no.�

�Don�t tempt me.� Muttered Bai. �I think I preferred it when he was quacking.�

�AH-HA!� Shouted Windu as he spied another flower on the lawn. �This time it�ll work.� He started plucking the little plant. �You guys make yourselves useful. Collect some more and continue making that chain.�

�There aren�t any left.� Bai folded his arms. �You�ve had the whole lawn up looking for the damned things. Between you and your love charms and us,� he indicated the flower chains adorning the heads of himself and his two companions, �looking like something from Yaddle�s� flower arrangement classes, I�ll be surprised if there�s a single one left in the zoo!�

�But it looks so fetching woven through your padawan braid,� cooed Mace, �You know, Qui-Gon used to wear his braid like that all the time. Wouldn�t thank me for telling you though, so shush!� He held up a silencing finger to the Alderaani kid.

�Master, we�re stuck in a zoo full of dangerous, wild animals and you are pulling petals off defenseless woodland flowers. Haven�t you got ANYTHING worthwhile to say?�

Mace paused.

�She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me, she loves me not, she loves me��

*******

It had grown very cold.

Qui-Gon looked at the miserable huddle of children and the equally miserable padawans. He had to do something. Behind him, he caught sight of Kylenn and Abran exchanging peculiar looks when he�d put his arm around Jemmiah�s shoulders. He didn�t quite understand what the look meant, except that it hadn�t been intended for him to see.

�M-m-master Jinn?� Jemmiah asked. �Do you know where we are?�

He squeezed her shoulder, again catching another look from Abran.

�I�ve a fair idea, yes.�

�B-b-but it�s so dark. How can you see?�

�Jedi have exceptionally good night vision.� Qui-Gon replied, reaching out to touch the back of her hand.

She was freezing.

Sith, thought Abran. They�re holding hands now!

�We have to keep warm.� The tall master said after a while.

I don�t think I want to know what he had in mind, Abran grinned to himself!

�Perhaps we should jog the rest of the way back to the others.�

That idea went down like a lead balloon.

�How about a game?� Abran suggested, still smarting from all the bite marks he had accrued from the initiates.

�What sort of game?� Qui-Gon frowned.

�I don�t know�something that combines exercise and fun. How about leapfrog?�

�Leapfrog?� Qui-Gon said flatly. He hadn�t played that since he was seven years of age, and he�d been too tall even then.

�It�ll be fun!� Abran insisted.

In the dark, he was met by over fifteen pairs of hopeful eyes. Faced with such enthusiasm, how could he refuse?

********

�She loves me, she loves me not�. SHE LOVES ME!�

Windu kissed the bare little stem in his hand. �I knew it! I knew it! She loves me!�

�Err�Master Windy; you pulled two petals out at the same time. I saw you just now.� The Alderaani kid pouted.

�Did not!� Windu said defensively.

�Did too!�

�Really?� Mace looked unsure.

�Uh-huh. Cross my heart and hope you die.� He said so seriously that Mace was forced to believe him.

�SITH!� He bent down on his knees, looking through the grass. �Everyone start searching!�

*******

�UP and over. UP and over. UP and over��

This is ridiculous, thought Qui-Gon Jinn. I�m fifty-five years of age and I�m playing leapfrog, in a zoo, in the dead of night with fifteen kids and two padawans, and being watched by a pregnant teenager with broken ribs. This can�t get any more surreal.

�UP and over.�

The kids were enjoying themselves, judging by the squeals of delight. True, Jemmiah didn�t seem too enthralled by the spectacle, but Qui-Gon had given her his cloak, so at least she�d be warmer.

�UP and over.�

He was sure there must be a law against this sort of thing.

�UP and over.�

�Let�s sing a song!� Grinned Abran.

�Yeah!� Twittered the initiates.

�I don�t think�� Began Qui-Gon.

�With great big ears,
Just like a paddle,
Look out kids,
It�s Master Yaddle!�

UP and over.
�What is THAT you�re singing?� Qui-Gon asked, nearly running into the back of one of the initiates.

�Renounce the darkside,
Double quick,
or please watch out
For Yodas� stick!�

UP and over.

�I�m not sure that�s entirely appropriate.� Qui-Gon shouted to Abran.

�To lie and cheat,
Is not a sin,
But then we�re talking��

�I THINK WE�LL SKIP THIS VERSE!� Kylenn said hurriedly.

UP and over.

�Why?� Qui-Gon queried.

�Master Jinn, are you SURE you know where you�re going?� Jemmiah called out. �It�s just that I saw this notice that said��

�Don�t worry.� Qui-Gon said. �I know exactly where we are.�

UP and�.aaaaaaaaaaggggggggghhhhhhh!

��Beware of the amphibian pond.� Finished Jemmiah.

All the initiates gathered round to see Qui-Gon up to his neck in frogspawn.

�Urgh!� Jemmiah shuddered. �It looks like the Temple refectory�s �Gimache pudding.��

�It tastes like the Temple refectory�s pudding as well.� Qui-Gon spat out a mouthful of the stuff.

He dejectedly tried to scrape the jelly-like substance from his beard.

�Look on the bright side, Master Jinn.� Jemmiah smiled cheerfully.

�What?�

�At least your cloak�s dry!�

*******

�Zzzzzzz.�

�Shut up!� Growled Kenobi, holding his head.

�Zzzzzzz.�

�Some of us are trying to sleep.�

�Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.�

�Oh, give us a break!�

�Zzzzz�.Zzzzz�Zzzzzz.�

�Simeon.�

�Zzzzzzzzzzzzz.�

�Simeon!�

�Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.�

�Stop snoring.�

�Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.�

�Do you hear me?�

�ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.�

�SIMEONWILLYOUFORTHELOVEOFMASTERYODAPLEASESTOPSNORING!� Screamed Kenobi in his fellow padawans� ear.

�Wha�wha..huh?� Simeon woke up in terror. �What was that!�

�Nothing.� Said Kenobi, using his arms as a pillow and closing his eyes.

�I heard something.� Cates felt his heart pounding in his throat.

�We all heard something.� Muttered An-Paj dryly from nearby. �Go back to sleep. On second thoughts,� he reconsidered, �cancel that order. That way WE might get some sleep.�

�Eh?� Simeon rubbed his bleary eyes.

�You were snoring.� Kenobi growled.

�I don�t snore!�

�Yes you do.�

�I DO NOT.�

�In that case we have over a dozen witnesses who heard you NOT snoring.� Kenobi mumbled into his cloak. �Now kindly shut up. We�ve only about four hours until daybreak and I want to celebrate that fact by not being awake to see it.�

�So, you�re saying I snore.� Simeon demanded.

�Catch on quickly, don�t you?� Obi-Wan began to drift off.

�What, and you don�t?�

�Nope.�

�I�ll just have to ask Jemmiah. SHE doesn�t snore.�

�How do you know?� Obi-Wan demanded.

�Ha, that would be telling!�

�Simeon?�

�Yeah?�

�Shut up.�

Something about that remark disturbed Obi-Wan. He thought about it for a while, but his exhausted brain couldn�t take the strain. Not cut out for night thinking, he realized. He�d just have to tackle her over it tomorrow.

No wait a moment. Not tomorrow. Today!

She was going to Corellia.

Without realizing it, he let out a groan.

�Are you OK, son?� An-Paj asked, concerned.

Obi-Wan considered. He shook his head, and although it was dark, An-Paj caught the gesture.

�Nevermind, my lad. We�ll soon have you back safely reunited with Master Jinn. And then we�ll have you checked over by the healers��

This time the groan Kenobi gave was even bigger.

Just when you thought that nothing else could possibly get worse, it invariably did.

*******

�I�m telling you, there is!�

�Garbage!�

�There IS!�

�Cut it out! There is absolutely nothing going on between Jemmiah and Master Jinn.� Kylenn was adamant.

�Oh, is that right? How do you explain the fact they�re on such good terms?� Abran retorted.

�She�s got cracked ribs, for Siths' sake. Master Jinn is just being a gentleman.�

�He keeps hugging her!�

�Is there a law against that?�

�They�ve not spoken in over two months.�

�Lucky them.� She replied sarcastically, staring at him. �You don�t half come out with some drivel, you know.�

She stopped open mouthed as she saw Master Jinn pull his heavy cloak back over his soaking tunic, and then gather Jemmiah to him in a careful hug, an arm round her waist.

�Ha!� Abran crowed. �I told you there was something going on between them!�

�They�re just trying to keep warm.� She replied lamely.

�It�s poor Obi-Wan I feel sorry for. Just imagine how he is going to feel when he finds out his girlfriend�s been carrying on with his master!�

�You don�t really think��

�It�s obvious.� Abran said with conviction.

�It�s disgusting!� Kylenn said in astonishment. �She�s just seventeen and he must be fifty four or five!�

�Maybe it�s the beard.� Abran said.

�Pardon?�

�Some girls like beards. I read it somewhere.�

�Yes, but even so��

�He probably just likes the idea of having something young and attractive hanging on his arm.�

�From what I�ve seen of Jemmiah, she does not hang on to anyone�s arm!� Kylenn rounded her eyes.

They continued to watch the pair from the back of the group of initiates, as they wound their way down a path that should in theory take them back to where they left Obi-Wan and Simeon. They should not be very far away at all. The sparks were going to fly pretty soon, of that Jay Abran had no doubts.

�Good on the randy old devil, that�s what I say.� Abran grinned. �But he needn�t think he�s anything other than another notch on her bedpost.�

�Don�t be crude.� Kylenn said.

�In fact, she must be running out of bedpost.�

�That�s unkind.� Kylenn admonished.

�Hey. Maybe Obi-Wan does know! Maybe they�ve got one of those threesome things going on!�

�I am NOT listening to this.� Kylenn put her hands over her ears, but unfortunately the image Abran had out in her mind would not readily leave.

Ugh!

Qui-Gon turned round. �Is everyone all right back there? Not feeling too cold?�

�We�re fine at the back, Master Jinn.� Abran answered, before muttering to Kylenn, �Everything looks kind of cozy up at the front as well��