Prequel to Lions, Tigers, and Padawans, Oh My!. A fundraising bar crawl? Only Jemmiah could arrange something like that.

Note: This is a group fic written mostly by Jemmiah, with a little help from (in order of posting): Sybelle, Jedi Kylenn, HealerLeona, Wampasmak, Lilith Demodae, LadyJedith, Krelo Rei'ch, Jedi_Daphne, and mouse2. The original thread can be found at theforce.net.

Disclaimer: Qui-gon Jinn, Obi-wan Kenobi, Mace Windu, Yoda, Depa Bilaba and the universe they live in belong to George Lucas. They are respectfully borrowed with no intent to profit thereby.


~~~~~~~


I�m going to get her for this, thought Jay Abran furiously. She is SO going to wish she�d not tried that!

He watched Jemmiah�s loping, swinging Corellian gate as she walked along the street in front of him. On one side was Kylenn Imri and on the other Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon, hovering like an uninvited chaperone, as if to ward off any attempts on her person by the seriously annoyed Jay Abran.

Or was that the romantically inclined Kenobi?

Hari�s Tavern was not terribly far away from The One For The Road, and yet everyone seemed to be dragging their heels somewhat. At first Abran thought it was the shock of the fire and everything, until he realized that it was undoubtedly the small matter of the �Truth or Dare� game that should have been played in the last cantina. Revelations of all sorts were going to fly, Abran mused, mentally rubbing his hands as they reached the doorway and then proceeded down the steps into possibly the dingiest little tavern that he had ever been in. Even Dex Berlingside wrinkled his nose up in surprise at the strong smoke smell.

If it was smoke.

Meri was the acknowledged Truth or Dare champion, and it had been in her honor that Jemmiah had included this short version of the game. You could never ask the same person more than once, which was just as well considering how many there were of them. This time, however, Jemmiah had surpassed herself. The game would include padawans and masters alike�

Possibly this was the real source of the discomfort that was lurking beneath the oh, so Jedi exteriors of the would be victims.

Jay Abran seated himself beside Healer Leona and Dimallie, who was showing the slightest of signs that she was still alive and about ready for another drink. Poor girl, thought Jay, she�ll have recovered just in time to play the final round of Corellian rules drinking Deathmatch back at the Hell�s Chance.

Jemmiah seated herself next to Obi-Wan and Kylenn. Opposite sat Kryztan Harkley, openly staring at her. It gave Abran his idea. If Jemmiah was ever foolish enough to pick dare, he�d dare her to kiss Kryztan.

Jemmiah was quite aware of the eyes upon her. Kryztan sat ogling her, and Jay, well; he looked downright set on vengeance!

Qui-Gon was also aware of three people staring at HIM. Healer Leona P�lila, somewhat bashfully it had to be said, his padawan who seemed distinctly uncomfortable with proceedings, and worst of all Sal-Fina who had an expression on her face that reminded him of a cannoid with a wasp problem. Damn, he wasn�t looking forward to this. A person could give away too much, if he wasn�t careful�

Mace Windu was feeling VERY smug. Let�s see that Kenobi boy get out of this, he grinned!

When they had all taken their places, some squashed up tightly together, some almost sitting on each other�s laps, a dubious silence loomed large. Nobody wanted to make the first move.

�Who want�s a drink?� Berlingside muttered.

�I do!� Jemmiah said.

�And me, thanks.� Kenobi replied.

�Me, too!� Sybelle chorused.

�I�ll get it!� Qui-Gon stood up, as did all of the masters.

They looked at each other, embarrassed, before sitting down again.

�I�ll get it.� Berlingside smiled in relief. �You all start without me.�

Qui-Gon didn�t think he�d ever seen the man move so quickly.

After another moment of sitting facing each other, Healer Leona piped up: �Oh, this is silly! I�ll ask the first one.� She looked about for her victim. �An-Paj, what�s it going to be? Truth or dare?�

The healer looked surprised. �Why me? Please do remember that I am quite capable of making yours, Simeon�s and Dimallie�s lives quite intolerable tomorrow if I so wish.�

�Truth or dare?� She repeated.

�I can have you scrubbing �freshers for the next half century.�

�Truth or dare?� She refused to be intimidated.

He closed his eyes. �Truth.�

Leona�s eyes twinkled. She was going to enjoy this. "Since we're all aware of your martial status, I've always wondered about the responsibility of caring for six wives" Leona stated with a sly smile, "what I'd really like to know is if you've always been able to live up to your obligations?"

An-Paj looked at the assistant healer questioningly then glanced around the very crowded table. Many of the participants wore the same confused expression he did. It wasn't until he saw the few idiotic grins on some of the padawans that the meaning of the question registered. Shooting a stormy glare at Leona, the Master Healer did his best to hide the incredible embarrassment he felt seeping into him.

Leona met his hard gaze, her own face bathed in calm serenity.

"Well?" she asked with a smile. Between the few drinks she had had and the fact that she was actually spending time in the company of Qui-Gon she was feeling pretty courageous. Even if An-Paj made good on his threats of retribution, seeing the dark patches of blue exploding on his face was easily worth it.

"I, ah..." he coughed uncomfortably, trying to delay the inevitable while dozens of eyes bore into him with excited expectation.

Dex Berlingside returned with a tray of drinks and before even being able to set them down, An-Paj grabbed for the tallest glass, not caring what it was, he drank it down.

"It was during my last wedding" he began keeping his eyes firmly planted on Leona. At least this way he could at least pretend there weren't quite a few others listening intently to his story. "She was the youngest of the sisters, fifteen years my junior, you must remember. We're allowed two weeks of time alone, what you would call a honeymoon, before she would join my household. It was during these two weeks that I found myself having..ah, difficulty fulfilling my obligations as you so tactfully put it."

"How did you solve your little problem?" Simeon Cates questioned with a stifled smirk.

An-Paj tuned on the padawan, mentally marking him for future punishment. It wasn't necessary to answer but the amused looks on everyone's face gave him the desire to pass on some of the humiliation. "Oh" he sat proudly upright "a little meditation and the addition of dietary vitamins proved quite the adequate solution as I'm sure Mace can attest to."

Mace's eyes went wide as everyone turned to look at him amid the sound of soft feminine giggles and masculine snickers.

An-Paj gazed around the table. "My turn." he said, "Sal-Fina, truth or dare?"

Lilith and Krelo sat at the edges of the group, fully ready to enjoy every second of this game. Lilith had never played, and Krelo hadn't played it since she was quite young, but they were both looking forward to the revelations sure to come out tonight.

They each had drinks and were seated far enough out that they could hear everything, but that no one would ever ask either of them to join the game.

Or so they thought.

Sal-Fina eyed An-Paj with imperious disdain, pondering her choice. A dare in front of her padawan that she might not be able to complete would make her lose face and there was no way that she was going to let THAT happen. So, boring as it might seem Sal-Fina elected for what she considered the safer of the two options.

�Truth.� She replied warily.

�There�s something I�ve been meaning to ask you for a number of years.� An-Paj smiled. �I remember once hearing that you were asked to take part in a certain holo film when you were, oh, maybe eighteen or so years old by your then director boyfriend.�

He watched Sal-Fina�s eyes widen with horror, and waited for the right moment.

�What was it called now? Let me see�� He stroked his chin in a pretence of thought. �Ah, yes. �Coruscant Blue�, wasn�t it?�

Qui-Gon stared at her. He�d never seen anyone become as rigid outside of a mortuary. When An-Paj received no answer he asked Sal-Fina: �What I want to know is, DID you take part in the holo film and if so, how many Ankula�s did they use in the picture?�

All the padawans except for Junine and Ambianca turned to face Sal-Fina with a huge grin on their faces. The masters were perhaps a little more restrained. A little.

Sal-Fina looked as if she were about to die.

�Y-yes.� She mumbled. There was a thunderous scream of delight from the padawans.

�And how many Ankula�s?�

�There weren�t any!� She spat.

� I�m disappointed.� An-Paj winked at her. �Oh, well.�

When the laughter had died down somewhat, Obi-Wan attempted to stand up and make his way to the doorway.

�Where do you think you�re going, Padawan?� Jinn asked, indicating he should sit back down.

�I thought maybe you could lend me some money, Master.�

�And why would this be?�

�There�s a really good little holo shop around the corner. Simeon and I want to see if we can rent out �Coruscant Blue�, just on the off chance��

Sal-Fina�s milk white complexion became scarlet. �I think it�s MY turn to ask the questions.� She growled menacingly. Her eye lit upon the tall shape of her ex-boyfriend of many, many years ago.

�Master Jinn.� She was clearly relishing the prospect. �Truth or dare?�

Qui-Gon Jinn stared at his ex coldly, contemplating the options. Glancing around the table, considering picking 'truth' he quickly realized that of all the people to question him, Sal-Fina was probably the one he had most reason to fear. She would certainly still remember far too many intimate details of his youth that he would not want divulged and he was sure their constant arguing over the years would not likely lead her to being very charitable.

Any embarrassment from a dare, on the other hand could always be obscured by a couple of stiff drinks. Returning his gaze to the tall blonde, he smiled sweetly, "I choose dare."

Instantly, her lips pursed in agitation. That was not the choice she had expected. She had hoped to kill two womprats with one stone as it were, casting a dark glance in the direction of Healer Leona. Now she had to come up with an appropriate dare, she thought scanning the room for inspiration. Spying the two tall women seated at the table not far from their little game, an idea began to form in her head. More than attacking Qui-Gon directly she wanted to get back at that miserable little healer for her assault with the ice bucket.

Jedi do not seek vengeance be damn, she thought. She would wipe that content little smile of her face. "See those two woman at the next table?" Sal-Fina asked in a lowered voice to prevent them from hearing. "I dare you to approach the taller of the two, and convince her to kiss you. And I want to see some real passion in that kiss Qui-Gon."

Qui-Gon glanced at the women. One he recognized as a Jedi Knight, Krelo, her name was. The other one, the one he was to kiss, looked vaguely familiar and knowing Krelo's penchant for associating with undesirables, he was sure she must be the known smuggler Lilith Demodae.

With a shrug, Qui-Gon left his seat.

*******

Lilith and Krelo were laughing and talking over the revelation of Sal-Fina's acting career. Neither noticed the tall Jedi Master's approach until he stood next to the smuggler.

"Excuse me" he interrupted.

"Can we help you, Master Jinn?" Krelo asked, shooting a confused glance at her friend.

"I just happened to notice that you two lovely women were seated by yourselves. Since I've seen you at each of the last cantinas I assume you're part of our little event."

"Well, actually I suppose we are, indirectly." Lilith answered, just a little more than surprised.

With a charming smile, Qui-Gon held out his hand to her, "I just had to introduce myself to such a beautiful woman, my name is Qui-Gon Jinn."

"I know who you are" Lilith stated, deciding to play along with him, "at least by reputation."

Holding out her own hand she allowed him to gently pull her to her feet, bringing her close to him. "I just couldn't help but wonder how such a gorgeous woman as yourself would want to be kissed?" he poured on the charm.

Glancing down at her friend, Lilith saw a huge grin on Krelo's face. This had to be a dare, she thought to herself, and one she had every intent on enjoying. �Well, maybe I can show you." she answered and with that she threw her arms around the tall Jedi and offered herself.

Bending down slightly, Qui-Gon pulled her against him, kissing her with obvious passion. Amid groans of pleasure from both participants, Lilith pulled back; losing her balance as both of them fell back on the table still locked firmly in their embrace. Squeals of laughter and raucous comments erupted from the crowded table of Jedi as the two finally broke apart.

Standing tall, Qui-Gon turned to his comrades and bowed graciously, helping a very pleased Lilith up. "Thank you for answering my question." he told her.

"It was my pleasure, if I can help you in any other way, please don't hesitate to ask." Lilith answered with a lewd smirk.

All around the table were howling in delight at the Jedi Master's display, all but one. Sal-Fina had kept her gaze on Healer Leona during the event and a vindicated smile came over her face. She was the only one to see the little healer's eyes filled with obvious hurt before turning away in embarrassment.

Serves her right, Sal-Fina thought satisfied.

Qui-Gon rejoined his friends, laughing along with them.

"I can't believe you did that Master," Obi-Wan said in awe of the normally staid man, clapping him on the back with enthusiasm.

Reaching for his drink, Qui-Gon looked at his apprentice, "Really, Obi-Wan" he said with a glint in his eye, "maybe you'll get the chance to prove your own metal, truth or dare?"

�Master! That�s not fair!� Kenobi squealed. �You should ask one of the others.�

�Why? Because they have less embarrassing questions to ask than I might?� Qui-Gon smiled. �Sorry, Padawan. I choose you.�

�You�re not sorry at all.� Grumbled Obi-Wan.

�Sorry, what was that? Dare, did you say?� Qui-Gon enquired, still feeling relief that his ordeal had passed.

�NO! No�I haven�t decided.� He frowned in concentration.

�Oh, come on Kenobi!� Berlingside laughed. �It won�t be that bad. Maybe.�

Oh, hell. What should I decide, Obi-Wan shivered. �Truth,� he swallowed. His master�s eyes lit up. �I�d like you to tell the truth to our little assembly here,� Qui-Gon pointed at the group in circular fashion, �and inform them who was responsible for the hoses in the temple gardens sprinkling raw slurry over everyone instead of water.� He stared intently at his padawan. �And remember, I�ll know if you tell me any falsehoods.�

Obi-Wan groaned inwardly. That was one of the most amazing practical jokes that had ever been played in the history of the Jedi Temple. Master Yoda and the council had decided that the fountain gardens needed something extra about them during the summer season, both practical and aesthetically pleasing. Elaborate water sprinklers that gave the effect of dancing waves and archways of fine spray had been installed at hardly any cost to the temple at all. And during the grand opening, somehow, the water had been replaced with sewage, which had landed upon everybody in sight. Mace and Yoda had been unrecognizable, and An-Paj had to treat them in the infirmary for possible infection.

�Can I have dare instead, Master.� Kenobi pleaded.

�Too late, Padawan.� Jinn smirked. �Answer the question.�

Obi-Wan sighed, apologizing with his eyes for dropping his co-conspirators in it.

�Myself, Jay Abran and�� he looked away, �Jemmiah.�

�And who actually swapped the water pump for the slurry pump?� Jinn asked.

�I can�t answer that.� Kenobi grinned.

�Why not?� The tall master queried.

�Because I�ve already answered one question from you and I�m not allowed to answer a second.� Kenobi looked triumphant, and resisted the temptation to add �ha, ha!� to the end of his sentence.

�Damn.� muttered Jinn.

�Now, what have we here?� Obi-Wan glanced about. �AH-HA! Jay Abran.�

�Uh-oh.� Abran feigned fear. After Jemmiah�s little stunt there was little to worry about.

�Truth or dare?�

He thought about it. �Dare.� Jay replied.

�Oh, goooood!� Kenobi�s expression promised retribution. �I was SO afraid you�d pick truth.�

�I�m not scared.� Abran laughed.

�You will be!� Obi-Wan laughed. �Master, have you still got those stockings?�

Looking surprised, Jinn handed them over to his padawan. �Your penalty is to wear these INSTEAD of your trousers for the rest of our stay in the cantina.�

Abran looked mortified.

�And don�t ladder them.�

Hmiol sat, amused at the game unfolding around him. He watched Abran retreat to the fresher to change into his new "evening attire". He was not scared, not in the least. Because Master Yoda had seen the fire, nothing. Mattered. Any more. He would never see these people after tomorrow, so there was no use being quiet, worrying about whether or not he said the right thing. He had never known having nothing to lose could be so fun.

Jay Abran returned to the fray wearing his silk stockings and a look of disgust.

The applause and jeers followed him back, where upon he contrived to hide his embarrassment by slouching as low in his seat as possible.

�Nice legs, Jay.� Squealed Jemmiah in delight.

He raised his eyes to meet hers. �So you�ve said before.� He replied ominously, noticing the flicker of wariness upon Kenobi�s face. �However, let�s not talk about me.� He leaned forward on one arm focusing only on her. �Let�s talk about you.�

She looked uncertain. �What do you mean?�

�What I mean is Jemmiah, truth or dare.�

�Not a Sith�s chance I�m taking truth with you asking the questions.� She sniffed. �I pick dare.�

Abran �s little maneuver had worked perfectly. Now, how to get her to kiss Kryztan without making it obvious that was what he wanted to achieve.

�You saw Master Jinn�s dare?�

�Yes.� She said warily. �I think everyone saw Master Jinn�s dare.�

�Well, I�ve got a variation on a theme.� He smiled. �Do you remember the love scene from last years holo film hit �Temptations of the heart� with Rex Victory?�

�It wasn�t a sequel to Coruscant Blue, was it?� Laughed Simeon, as Sal-Fina reddened again.

�Do you recall that particular scene?� Abran repeated.

�Yes.� Jemmiah said under her breath.

�The bit with the love triangle? Where her husband comes home and finds her having a passionate encounter with the gardener?�

�Yes!� She snapped.

�I want you to act that scene out. I think Obi-Wan could play Lyffar Darrington�s role and maybe�he looked around blindly, �Kryztan could play the Rex Victory part.�

�But that means I�� Jemmiah began, looking at Obi-Wan and pointing at Kryztan, �I have to kiss��

�Oh. Yes. So you will.�

Jemmiah looked as if she�d been floored with an iron bar. Obi-Wan�s eyes flashed with something only a few stages short of anger. Qui-Gon put a hand on his padawan�s arm to placate him.

[Careful, Obi-Wan] He warned.

[Master] Kenobi bowed his head, but looked severely displeased.

Jemmiah turned to Sybelle and Kylenn for back up, but they all seamed as worried as she was. �Okay, I accept.� She agreed. �But if Kryztan is playing the Rex Victory role, I want a say in the rest of the casting. Do you agree?�

Abran shrugged, not caring. She�d agreed to the part that was important.

�Fine, if you don�t want Obi-Wan to be the other player. Who do you want?�

She faced him square on. �You.� She said.

He looked surprised. �If that�s what you want.� Abran smiled. Even better! He�d get to see the action close up!

The three would be actors stood up and found a clear spot to stand in. Abran was already grinning. �Ready?� He said. The other two nodded. �Action!�

Jay knocked on the table in order to replicate the sound of the door.

�Wait!� Jemmiah commanded, holding up her hand.

�What is it NOW?� Jay looked exasperated; desperately trying to ignore the fact he was wearing ladies stockings and receiving VERY funny looks from passers by.

�Who said you were to knock on the door?� Jemmy crossed her arms.

�It�s in the film!� Abran insisted.

�Yes, but it�s the Lyffar Darrington role that knocks on the door.�

�So?� He crossed his arms.

�I will be playing that role, thank you so very much.�



�But you can�t!� Abran insisted. �You said that as long as Kryztan played the Rex Victory role of the gardener, I could have my say as to the rest of the casting. I�m choosing to play the Lyffar Darrington role of the husband.� She winked at Obi-Wan who beamed in delight. �YOU will be playing the role of the unfaithful wife.� Jemmiah looked to Mace and Qui-Gon for support.

�That�s what I heard you say.� Jinn replied.

�Me too,� Mace grinned, �no mistaking it.�

�But that means that I will have to kiss�� He broke off in horror.

�Yes, it does.� Jemmiah smiled. �Or we could just wave this one and let me pick the next victim. What do you say?�

Abran looked at Kryztan and nodded his head violently in agreement.

�Good.� Jemmiah flashed her famous smile. She whispered in Abran�s ear.

�Don�t try to get the better of me in front of Obi-Wan like that ever again.� She looked down at the bestockinged legs. �And for what it�s worth, I still think you have very nice legs.� Abran smiled. �My turn now.� Jemmiah smirked, delighted with her triumph. �And I pick Hmiol.�

�What?� He asked in amazement.

�Truth or dare?�

What to pick? What to pick? Garos was not afraid, he just wanted to get it over with. After all, he had nothing to lose. Jemmiah would surely have a deadly dare. Plus he was something of an enigma to everyone else. That made Truth the safer of the two options. "Truth." he said.

Jemmiah seemed to consider it for a moment. That can't be good, Hmiol thought.

Finally, she spoke. "Ok, Garos. Tell me this. Have you ever done ANYTHING that was..."

"Was what?" he asked, growing more fearful by the moment.

"That was, shall we say, below temple standards?" She smiled.

Hmiol began to panic. That was the one thing he had not expected. He couldn't tell them about his piggyback program on the temple surveillance systems. He was about to break down and say it, when he remembered Kenobis earlier tactic with his master. He smiled.

"Yes." he stated simply, raising his head higher. "Yes I have."

"Such as..."

"I believe you're past your one question limit, my turn!" He said, grinning wider than he ever had before. With the burden lifted from him, he looked around at the gathering with new eyes. There was really only one choice. The person who had ruined the whole night for him, not to mention his chances of ever being a Jedi Knight.

"Simeon, Truth or Dare?"

*******

Master Far Biwo ran down the streets of Coruscant as fast as his legs would carry him. He still couldn't believe what he had seen on the holo. A bar on fire, and HIS padawan, of all people, was responsible. He had spit out a perfectly good mouthful of Biwo Stew when he saw it. While on the outside, he was angry, but secretly he was pleased. Maybe Garos finally opened up himself. He thought about it for a minute, and sighed. I'll believe it when I see it.

About an hour later, Far stepped up to the doorway of Hari's Tavern, the next bar on the cantina crawl. He had arrived at the One for the Road shortly after the masters and padawans had left, and hoped they were still here. He didn't feel like walking to the next one.

He opened the door and strolled into the smoke-filled room.

*******

�Umm,� Simeon found his mouth had gone very dry. �Dare.�

Hmiol rubbed his hands like a miser counting his credits. What terrible things could he make Simeon do? His big weakness was for the ladies. So�

�Simeon Cates.� Hmiol pronounced as if a judge sentencing a condemned man, �I want you to pick out the best looking girl, in your opinion, amongst our little gathering. You will firstly tell her your reasons for choosing her over everyone else and then get down on bended knee and propose marriage to her.�

�WHAT!� Cates yelled.

�You heard me.� Hmiol grinned in a distinctly glazed fashion.

Cates looked about him. There were many pretty girls and women. Sal-Fina was lovely in a cold sort of way, but you wouldn't want to choose her if she was the last woman on Coruscant. Sybelle had a dark kind of beauty. Kylenn was dignity and gentleness personified. Ambianca, Letina, Healer Leona�

Well, he had to use his brains. It didn�t happen often but this time he would. That way he could minimize the damage a little.

He stood up. �I chose Dimallie.� he said, surprising Healer Leona amongst many. �I choose her because she is kind, warm hearted, gifted and very lovely.�

�Yuck!� Letina frowned.

�I was going to chose Jemmiah, but frankly Obi-Wan would kill me and so I went for the safer option.�

He looked at the semi-drunken Dimallie, who was hovering blissfully unaware in partial consciousness. He stooped down and took her hand in his and then pressed it to his lips.

�Dimallie Melbra, I ask you to consent to be my lawful wedded wife, forsaking all others, in sickness and health or whenever else you decide to drop something heavy and expensive on my head from a great height. I choose you for your ability to make me smile whenever An-Paj has been horrible to me��

�Excuse me?� An-Paj cut in.

�And because you make me look like the galaxy�s most hardened drinker in comparison to you. But most of all, I choose you because you are completely wasted and won�t remember a single thing I�ve said!�

He sat back, satisfied. �Er�Simeon.� Jemmiah nodded at Letina, who was brandishing her holocam.

�Oh, Sith!� Simeon said crossly.

Qui-Gon smiled at Mace Windu. �I�m not sure exactly what�s on this holocam, but I say whatever it is, we get a copy and bury it in some kind of time-capsule under the temple floor, so that in generations to come, some poor Jedi Padawan can see how bad things were in our time.�

�Great idea!� Smiled Mace, raising his glass. �We can watch it all in the Hell�s Chance before we head back to the temple and Yoda�s singing.�

Qui-Gon sighed.

�Nuts to Yoda�s singing,� he said.

Simeon carefully selected his prey. �Kylenn Imri. Truth or dare?�

*******

Far finally reached the gathering and saw Hmiol. He looked horrible. Worse than he had ever seen him before. "GAROS HMIOL!" He snapped sharply.

"Master!" Garos said, whirling faster than a mad starship.

"Far, what are you doing here?" Qui-Gon asked.

"Trying to figure out what the Sith you have done to my padawan. How in the galaxy did he get drunk? He doesn't even drink!" Not that I haven't tried...

"I think you had better talk to him." Mace said, looking at Kylenn. "We have a game to finish."

"No hurry!" She replied quickly, shooting a desperate look at Master Biwo.

Far grabbed his padawan by the shoulder and yanked him up. "Out." he ordered, marching him to the entrance.

*******

You burnt down that bar, Garos!" Biwo exclaimed. "Do you know how bad an image that is for the Jedi?"

"Whatever." He said, looking up at the sky.

"What's gotten into you?" Biwo asked, concerned but also excited by his padawan�s new attitude. "You're fairly sober now, why are you acting like this?"

"Because Master, NOTHING MATTERS ANYMORE."

"What are you talking about?"

"When I get back, Master Yoda will either make me a farmer or banish me outright. Either way, I'll never see them, you or the temple again. So who cares what I say or do tonight?" a thought occurred to him. "By the way, I HATE Biwo Stew. It is THE most horrible thing I've ever had the misfortune of tasting!"

Seeing the hurt expression that crossed his masters' face, Hmiol quickly retreated. "Master, I'm sorry, I've been under a lot of stress, and..."

Far cut him off and wrapped him in an embrace. "It's alright, Garos. Other Jedi have done worse things before. If necessary, I'll fight the council. But here this, I will not give you up. Ok? I'll do my best to keep you not only a Jedi, but my padawan."

Hmiol looked up at Far, all conflict between them gone. "Thank you, Master," he said.

"Now let's go get a drink. I don't feel like walking back to the temple, so I'll join you for the evening, if you don't mind."

Together, they entered the bar again.

*******

"Dare!" Kylenn moaned as she closed her eyes, flinching at the horrible fate that probably awaited her.

She wondered why Simeon had picked her?

"Don't look so nervous!" Simeon laughed. "It's pretty easy, really. In fact, you won't even have to move from your seat."

"Really?" Kylenn said uneasily.

"Promise." Cates nodded. "What I want you to do is to watch me whilst I perform my famous party piece..."

"NO!" Screamed Kylenn. "Not the toes!" She turned to Master Jinn. "That's not fair! He knows I can't watch him do that...thing! It's disgusting! Please, don't make me watch!" she begged.

"I'm sorry, Kylenn. But you did say you would."

"OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH SITH!" She whined, preparing herself. Simeon was already removing his sock.

"I don't want to watch," she half sobbed.

Jemmiah shook her head. "The excitement�s too much for me. I'm gonna get some ice with this drink." She pulled a face. "Want another, Ben?"

"Not yet." Kenobi grinned, intent on Kylenn's disgusted expression.

Sighing, Jemmiah stood up and walked to the bar. As her back was turned she heard several short screams from Kylenn which trailed off into a keening wail.

A loud round of applause followed from everyone around the table.

"That was ghastly." Kylenn nearly cried.

"I think that's a remarkable talent you've got there, son." An-Paj said proudly.

"That's nothing." Simeon replied with just a hint of smugness. "I can do that trick with other parts of my body..."

"I'M NOT WATCHING!!!" Kylenn hid her face away with a scream.

"Neither are we!" Mace added. "You were very brave, Kylenn. "Now it's your turn."

�I need a drink first.� Kylenn stammered.

�Jemmy, get Kylenn an iced Solar Blast, would you?�

�Okay.� The Corellian girl called back.

Jemmiah waited for her drink, becoming more and more aware of the stubble faced thirty-something individual that had been gradually sliding over towards her. She frowned under her dark brows. Is there something wrong with me tonight? What�s so different about me that I�m attracting every pervert within the vicinity? Come on barman, she urged. Where�s that drink?

After a further minute of waiting, Jemmiah picked up Kylenn�s Solar Blast and hastened towards the conclave of Jedi in the corner. The rather dirty faced individual who had been eyeing her up had spotted her move and intercepted her, still with drink in hand.

�Hello, sweetie.� He cooed. She looked over her shoulder and saw Qui-Gon about to come to her rescue.

�Sweetie? I think you�ve got the wrong person.� Jemmiah frowned.

He slicked his hair back and put an arm round her shoulder.

�My name�s Dree Hurmis.� He ogled her. �Remember that name, �coz you�re going to be screaming it in ecstasy for the rest of the night.�

�My name�s Jemmiah.� Jemmy shrugged off the arm and smiled sweetly at him. �Remember my name, �coz you�re going to be screaming it in agony for the next half-hour.�

In a blinding fast move, Jemmiah raised her knee and dealt the man a blow he wouldn�t soon forget. She followed it up by tipping Kylenn�s drink over his head, and then finally rounded it off by sticking the drink�s pink parasol behind the man�s ear.

She threw her head back and walked slowly back to the group, setting Kylenn�s empty glass in front of her.

�Sorry,� She said, �but he needed it more than you did.�

�Owch.� Winced Mace as he looked at the man, rolling about in pain upon the floor. �Remind me never to get in your bad books.�

He looked about, only to see that all the males present had crossed their legs, whether out of sympathy or fear he couldn�t tell.

�Makes Simeon�s toes seem like an anticlimax.� Kylenn mumbled. �Okay. I choose Master Windu. Truth or dare?�

�Dare.� Windu said defiantly. �Do you worst.�

Qui-Gon whispered to him �I think you might regret what you�ve just said.�

�Oh, come on.� Mace laughed as he drained his glass, �it�s only sweet little Kylenn. What harm can the girl do? She doesn�t have a despicable bone in her body.�

�It�s not Kylenn you should be worried about.� Jinn nudged his friend with his elbow and nodded at Jemmiah.

Mace pensively risked a furtive look at the Corellian, and could see a brief exchange of grins between her and Kylenn Imri.

�It won�t be that bad.� He stated without conviction. �It�s not as if Kylenn and Jemmiah know each other very well. They won�t have had time to plan anything��

�Mace, you obviously don�t know women. You specifically don�t know the average teenage girl�s mentality. You even more specifically don�t know Jemmiah. Take my advice. Be afraid. Be VERY afraid.�

Windu gulped.

�You�re dare is to select which of the girls at this table have the nicest legs.� Kylenn grinned.

�Oh, I can do that!� Beamed Mace.

�Blindfold, and using your hands only.�

�What!� Mace turned to Dex Berlingside.

�Sounds like fun to me!� Dexy said, rubbing his hands. �Want to swap?�

�And just so you won�t cheat, Master Jinn will be shielding our presence from you so you won�t know who�s who. Let�s see if you can guess whose legs are whose.�

�Sith!� Windu exclaimed, surprised. �I thought you were a sweet little girl.�

�I was,� Kylenn agreed, �But I�m afraid I�ve seen the error of my ways.� She hiccuped slightly as she took a drink from Master Berlingside�s glass.

Obi-Wan looked about. �What can we use as a blindfold?�

�How about Jemmiah�s neck scarf?� Abran reached out and pulled out the loose knot, leaving behind a clearly visible red mark.

�Where in the seven Sith hells did you get THAT!� Snapped Qui-Gon angrily, bending over to have a closer look.

�It�s rats.� She protested. �The infirmary�s full of them.�

�It is NOT.� An-Paj crossed his arms indignantly.

�Okay. There aren�t any rats. The roaches have scared them off.� She sulked. �It�s only a little, tiny, insignificant indentation. That�s all.�

�You are in hot water when you get back, Obi-Wan. I�m keeping score, Padawan, and this is being added to the already impressive tally of misdemeanors you�ve managed to run up tonight.�

Kylenn stood up to tie the scarf round Windu�s eyes. �Not too tight.� He insisted.

�What, so you can cheat?� Sybelle chimed in. �Not a chance.�

Berlingside smiled largely. �Right ladies, if you would like to take your positions��

�I wonder how many times he�s said that over the years.� Jemmiah muttered to Letina as they also stood up.

The contestants walked to the center of the floor, wondering what they had let themselves in for. Letina, Leona, Jemmiah, Sybelle, Ambianca, Junine, Vernice Ashdal and Depa Billaba all stood in a line.

At the last minute, Jemmiah waved over Jay Abran.

�Stand at the end of the line!� She laughed quietly.

�Ready ladies?� Windu asked after the girls had rolled up their tunic trouser legs.

�We are, Master Windu.� Jemmy smiled smugly. �But are you?� She whispered under her breath as Jay submitted his legs for inspection.

This would be good!

Lilith was trying her best not to laugh too loud as the young man took a place at the end of the line of legs to be manually inspected. Krelo wasn't making a sound, but her face told the smuggler exactly how hilarious she found the whole thing. The Knight was also keeping a sharp eye on the girl with the holocamera. She would pay quite a great deal for a copy of the evening's entertainment and Lilith had generously offered to pay for Krelo's copy as long as she could also get a copy for herself.

One never knew when having something like that might get one through customs with a little less hassle.

Master Windu was down on his knees in front of the line of women with the young man at the end.

No woman would ever make that sort of mistake, but one never knew what men were thinking, if they were thinking, or with what portion of their anatomy they were doing said thinking.

Tears were streaming from Lilith's eyes and she fought valiantly to keep her gut-busting laughter down to a mere quiet gasping behind her hands. One didn't see a Jedi Master, let alone a council member, on their knees in front of someone very often, and this particular occasion was one the smuggler wouldn't pass up for all the spice on Kessel.

Garos and Far walked up just as Mace was beginning his inspection. While Far asked Qui-Gon what the nature of the dare was, Hmiol just laughed. He spotted something moving slowly away in the shadows behind Jemmiah. She followed his gaze and turned to see what he was staring at.

"Where are you going, Ben?"

Mace looked up from his inspection. "Kenobi, don't even think about going anywhere!"

Garos laughed again as his master joined him. He couldn't wait to see what Windu had cooked up.

Krelo grinned wickedly and waited till her friend had gotten control of herself before leaning over to whisper in the smuggler's ear.

"Hey, Lil, you've already been kissed, wanna get felt up by Jedi Master?" she asked irreverently.

This sent Captain Demodae into fresh peals of laughter, almost rocking the tall woman out of her chair, that earned them only a few stares. After all, laughing women were hardly as interesting as a Jedi Master on his knees.

"Kre, you are going to get me into trouble one of these days."

"Not at all," the Knight asserting holding up her newly bought holocam. "Pictures like these will keep you out of trouble for a long time!"

Lilith glanced down at her snug pantlegs and then at the rolled up trouser legs of the females already in line. The brazen smuggler shrugged. She'd done it before in emergencies, why not now, when it could forestall future emergencies?

The tall woman wandered over and joined the line, skinning out of her boots and pants. Then she stood there in line, clad only in her longish shirt, vest and blaster holster.

Krelo readied the holocam and stood up on a chair to get the best angle she could on the proceedings. She tried to contain a wicked laugh. After all, enjoying another being's suffering was hardly something encouraged in the Jedi Temple, but this was just too good a chance to pass up!

Jemmiah tried to stifle her giggles as Mace clumsily felt her legs. Obi Wan roared with laughter, checking that the whole thing was being captured on the holocam. Now, if he couldn't use this to bribe the master... His good mood was dampened as he caught sight of Kryztan staring at Windu with ill-disguised envy. Or was that Jemmiah's legs he was staring at? He decided not to consider the subject further, slightly worried that he would resort to violence before the evening was over.

Mace moved on to Sybelle, who stood with a look of boredom on her face.

"Sybelle looks thrilled," Jemmiah remarked to Obi Wan.

"Oh, it's a regular occurrence for her." Obi Wan replied. "And for us" he added, kissing the back of her neck.

Mace left Sybelle, who looked at Jemmiah conspiratorially. Healer Leona was next in line. She let out a little gasp as Windu's hand touched her leg. Griff clapped a hand over Sybelle's mouth, and they both shook with silent laughter.

Meri had laughed so hard that she had hiccups. She was finding it hard to keep the holocam straight.

Perhaps I should get a nice big close-up of Master Windu in front of Ambianca? Maybe I could get some prints and run them off? Let�s see. A couple for the cr�che, several for the infirmary�

HIC!

Sith, swore Meri to herself as the camera wobbled in her hands. Steadying herself, she moved to behind Master Windu to shoot from the back. Now that DID look incriminating! Pressing the zoom mode, Meri homed in on Mace�s hands gradually working their practiced way up Ambianca�s legs. The look on the girl�s face was priceless.

�I can just see the headlines!� Laughed Meri to Dex Berlingside. �Jedi Master gropes Padawan in steamy Cantina encounter!�

�What?� Windu asked.

�Nothing.� Meri replied. �You may continue with your prodding, Master Windu. But if you could just move over a bit to the left��

�Why?� Mace frowned as he complied.

�So I can get a better angle!� Meri smiled to herself.

Mace had just about given up on number three. �Pretty skinny legs.� He mumbled. �A bit like a Florizan Flamingo.� Jemmiah grinned and punched the air at the insult to Ambianca.

�Who is it, do you think?� Berlingside asked. He�d been impressed that so far Windu had managed to guess everybody correctly.

�What, with spindly legs like this?� The drink had made Mace very bold. �Has to be Ambianca.�

�Correct!� Simeon applauded.

Lilith stood quietly as the dark-skinned Council member's hands felt their way up her legs. The experienced way in which those hands delicately, but firmly wended their way was really very pleasant and for once Captain Demodae regretted her almost complete and total lack of midi-chlorians. The Temple was chock-full men like these, or so she'd heard.

"Hmmm," Mace commented. "These are quite long legs. You wouldn't happen to be the lady my esteemed colleague kissed, would you?"

She answered with a throaty laugh. "I am indeed, sir."

His tone was smug. "I thought so." And then he moved on to the next woman in line, a fellow Corellian.

. Kissed by one Jedi, groped thoroughly by another. Lilith smiled to herself while climbing back into her pants and winked at Krelo who was getting every second of this on her holocam.

It was no wonder they were called masters!

�Next one.� Windu muttered, crawling along on his hands and knees until he reached Jemmiah�s shapely legs.

�Are you sure you don�t want to swap?� Sighed Dex Berlingside.

�No. Stop spoiling my concentration.� Windu replied as he let his hands slowly work up from her ankles. �Hello! I know these legs!� Windu paused. The group erupted into laughter. With the exception of Obi-Wan. �Hmm.� Mace studied the limbs with his fingers.

�Take your time, Master Windu.� Grumbled Obi-Wan, watching as Jemmiah closed her eyes in feigned pleasure.

�Ah-ha! The jealous lover! Thanks, Obi-Wan. This has gotta be Jemmiah.�

Qui-Gon shook his head in amusement at his disgruntled padawan, as Mace moved on to the next person in line.

Jay Abran, dressed in ladies stockings!

She laughed as she zoomed in once more for a rather dubious back view of Master Windu on his knees in front of a young male padawan wearing ladies undergarments. Oh, this video was going to be worth its weight in blackmail material!

HIC!

�There�s something a bit�odd here.� Windu wondered out loud. He ran a hand up the back of Jay�s generously proportioned and pronounced calf muscle. �Sons of Florizan! This is a well built individual.�

I�m going to die, thought Meri as she fought for control of both herself and the holocam.

�Whoever it is could play Professional Bolo Ball for Coruscant!� He prodded at Jay�s legs.

Jemmiah stuffed a napkin in her mouth for fear of laughing and giving the game away. She looked briefly across the room to see that Qui-Gon and Dex Berlingside had been reduced to insensible heaps of laughter, sitting as they were with their heads fixed in their hands, afraid to watch the degradation of the well respected council member continue any further.

�They�re kind of, how shall I put this�hairy.� He ran his fingers over the stockings and pulled at the edges, which caused Meri to nearly drop the holocam.

Windu paused. This was VERY strange. Who wore stockings like this? He would have said Jemmiah, except he knew that she did not possess legs that were built like this. And anyhow, he�d already identified her. He idly ran his hand back over the top of the stockings and then upward. If anything the legs began to get even stockier�

�Whoever this is should get themselves a hedge trimmer.� Mace mumbled.

A gale of laughter broke out amidst the group, with Obi-Wan chief amongst them. Healer Leona had cried so much with the hilarity that her make-up had began to run.

�What�s going on, Kenobi?� Windu sat up with the blindfold still on his eyes.

�Nothing�s going on.� Obi-Wan said in a soothing tone. �You just carry on enjoying yourself.�

�I don�t trust you.� Windu growled as his fingers connected with the chunky ankles. �It�s not Depa is it?�

�Not it�s damn well not!� Depa Billaba scolded.

�Sorry! Just a guess.�

Mace was really puzzled. This was proving difficult. Big, chunky legs with hairs poking through the stockings�as he ran his hands upwards again he was hailed with torrential guffawing.

�I give up!� He admitted to the sound of jeers. �Number two and number four have equally good legs. I declare them the winners. � Leona and Jemmiah shook hands in celebration.� Do you mind if I get up now?�

As Mace tried to stand up, he stood on the hem of his own robe and went flying forwards into Jay Abran, knocking him to the ground. There was a brief moment of tangled, stockinged legs and flailing arms to the wild applause of the now bawdy and raucous group of Jedi Masters and padawans. Meri hovered as close as she dared with the holocam.

�Show some respect, would you?� Mace tried to extract himself from the grasp of Jay Abran. �I�m still the master.�

He removed the scarf from his eyes and nearly died at what he saw. Jay Abran in stockings. Wearing the biggest smile he�d ever seen on a human being.

�You may be the master,� he pouted, playing his part with hands on hips, �but you can call me MISTRESS!�

He winked at Windu.

This time Meri did drop the holocam.