A Night to (Almost) Remember

Prequel to Lions, Tigers, and Padawans, Oh My!. A fundraising bar crawl? Only Jemmiah could arrange something like that.

Note: This is a group fic written mostly by Jemmiah, with a little help from (in order of posting): Sybelle, Jedi Kylenn, HealerLeona, Wampasmak, Lilith Demodae, LadyJedith, Krelo Rei'ch, Jedi_Daphne, and mouse2. The original thread can be found at theforce.net.

Disclaimer: Qui-gon Jinn, Obi-wan Kenobi, Mace Windu, Yoda, Depa Bilaba and the universe they live in belong to George Lucas. They are respectfully borrowed with no intent to profit thereby.


~~~~~~~


Jay Abran wandered over to Spider and Rela. "OK. Clothes are back in the bins. Now, where's the make up remover?" he asked.

"The what?" Rela frowned.

"You know, the stuff that takes off unwanted mascara, rouge and lipstick." Jay replied.

"I haven't got any," Rela said.

"Me neither. Jemmy," Spider yelled, "where's the make up remover?"

Jemmiah looked into Obi-Wan's face apologetically. "Er...I think I might have left it behind." She laughed weakly.

*******

Lilith watched narrow-eyed as Qui-Gon made his way straight toward her and Leona. The expression on his face told her clearly that it wasn't Leona he was on his way to speak to. Well, that was fine with her. She had a few things she wanted to say to him, as well.

For his part, Qui-Gon really did try to keep Jemmiah's regard for this woman in mind as he walked closer. But Lilith just looked so blasted smug and he could already envision that same expression on Jemmiah's face. Over his dead body!

Qui-Gon nodded to Leona, but then turned his undivided attention on the taller woman. "Captain Demodae, might I have a word with you?"

"Certainly, Master Jinn." //Two can play the formal game.// "Perhaps you would like to step outside with me?" Lilith smiled widely. "I need some fresh air."

Qui-Gon preceded her toward the exit and while he held it open for her, Lilith glanced over her shoulder at her red-haired friend. "Krelo, if Dex needs his tonsils removed that badly, let one of the healers do it."

Krelo and Dex jolted apart, both turning a very becoming shade of embarrassed, and Lilith stepped out with Qui-Gon, yet another smug smile on her face.

*******

Lilith walked back and forth in the alley behind the cantina, stretching her arms over her head. She was more sober now than she'd started the night, a unique twist in and of itself, and she estimated that she'd actually spent nearly as much time skulking around in alleys that night as she had inside actual cantinas.

This had to be the strangest cantina crawl in history!

And God bless Jemmiah for coming up with it.

"Captain Demodae." Lilith rolled her eyes and turned to face Qui-Gon. Whatever he was going to try and bring down on her, she still had a few aces up her sleeves and Lilith had never been one to pull her punches. Better overkill than underestimate the enemy, was her way of thinking. Grey-green eyes regarded Qui-Gon steadily, unflinchingly, and the Jedi wondered briefly if it had been such a good idea to follow her outside.

Qui-Gon cleared his throat and tried, for Jemmiah's sake, to couch his words in the most pleasant terms possible. "I know that you've taken a liking to Jemmiah, and I appreciate you looking out for her wellbeing, but, well, I don't think you are really the sort of person a young impressionable girl should be associating with. I would prefer it if you kept your distance from her."

"I'm sure you would, Jinn. But let's discuss this a bit shall we?"

Qui-Gon didn't much like that artificially sweet tone the smuggler was using. He had a hard time reading her, no doubt the result of the alcohol lingering in his bloodstream. Lilith wandered slowly around him, her boot heels clicking on the duracrete beneath them. "I am a business woman. I buy things and sell things. I move goods from one place to another for a fee. I am discrete. I am well reputed within my business circle, and most of my rivals are rather friendly ones." Lilith waved a hand back toward the cantina and Griff's general location.

"Personally, I don't think that makes for a bad person."

"Neither would I if it weren't for the nature of the 'goods' you buy, sell and move," Qui-Gon was quick to point out.

"Ah, but as a Jedi, I am quite certain that you have had occasion to deal with things of a sensitive nature. Can you honestly tell me," Lilith asked with a raised eyebrow, "that you have never had dealings with people of, shall we say shady, character or events of a questionable nature?"

Qui-Gon fumed silently, knowing that he could not honestly tell her yes. And the calm, pleasant expression on her face didn't make matters any better. //At least she's not gloating. I don't think I could handle that.//

Demodae waved a hand dismissively when he didn't answer. "Let's skip that. It was an unfair question. Instead, let me ask this: how sober are you?" When Qui-Gon looked startled, Lilith grinned like a shark. "You see, I've not ever been more than mildly buzzed all night, but it was only, what three, cantinas ago that you were passed out, dead drunk, on the floor. If it weren't for Krelo and I you would be there still. We hauled your sorry carcass to the next cantina and Krelo used to Force to sober you up enough to at least keep your feet underneath you. So I ask you: Which of us has been the more responsible adult here?"

"Don't start that with me! I'm not the one who's been encouraging Jemmiah to dress like a tramp or grope my padawan." Qui-Gon responded hotly, knowing he couldn't refute her charge.

"Ah, but on Corellia, that hair style is one worn by wealthy ladies of irrefutable virtue, as you should well know. And I certainly have not been encouraging her to maul that poor bandaged boy. I think that she should set her sights a mite higher than a junior civil servant. She can certainly do better than that with a little effort."

The tall Jedi's eyes rounded in surprise and outrage at that description of his apprentice and he sputtered incoherently for a second before gaining proper control over his tongue. "Obi-wan is certainly more than a junior civil servant and a more fit companion for Jemmiah than anybody else I've met so far!"

Lilith worked extra hard to keep a look of triumph off her face and keep her expression one of mild surprise. Jinn had just shouted himself into a corner on that one.

"Well, you were the one who brought it up, Jinn. And if we're going to discuss each other's moral character in determining who Jemmiah should and should not keep company with," the bleached blond slipped her hand into her pocket and grabbed a thin rectangle of gold colored plastic, "I wouldn't be so quick to condemn a simple honest smuggler, Jungle-boy."

So saying, Lilith tapped the unmistakable keycard against Qui-Gon's forehead, right between his startled, staring eyes. She then slapped it flat against his chest and walked past him back toward the door, listening to him scrabble to catch it before it hit the ground.

The poor man wasn't bad, but he was out of his element. It just isn't wise to try and argue with a Corellian if you aren't dead sober. Having helped raise Jemmiah, Jinn should have learned that a long time ago.

*******

"I'm NOT going out like this!" bellowed Simeon. "What will people think?"

"They'll just think it's you being odd as per usual." Sybelle growled. "Quit whining and get up those stairs."

"Uh-uh," he refused. "Not with the war paint on."

"It'll be dark out there," Spider said reasonably. "Who's gonna see you?"

"It might be dark on the streets," Obi-Wan shot back, "but it's as bright as a Tatooine morning INSIDE the cantina! And there are still three to go!"

Jemmiah averted her gaze to the ceiling as she felt the heated stares of all the made-up Jedi land upon her.. "Oh, dear," she blushed, "I seems to have made a bit of an error, huh?"

"A BIT of an error?" An-Paj shook his head. "I can't be seen like this! I have a certain image to protect. I'm a healer!"

"The ability to wear make up does not make you female," Jemmy consoled An-Paj with a miss-quote from Qui-Gon.

"There are some very rough types that frequent this cantina late at night, not to mention the Blast and Run where we are going next." Jay stood with his hand on his hip, then changed his mind rapidly. He had the feeling they were giving out the wrong signals as it was�

"Look," Rela said in an exasperated voice. "There are freshers on the next floor. You can wash off the worst of the rouge and stuff there."

"Thank the gods that someone's kept their head." Jemmiah snapped. "Go up there now and get scrubbing."

"What if someone sees us?" Zac looked uncertain.

"You can ask that, having practically spent the last fifteen minutes in the raw?" Kylenn gaped.

Zac instinctively covered himself up, even though he was now fully clothed.

"OK," doesn't look like we've got much of a choice." Dex squeezed Krelo's fingers gently and moved to take control in Qui-Gon's absence. "Anyone who needs to avail themselves of the fresher please step this way. The others�we'll meet you outside the Blast and Run in ten minutes."

Krelo watched as he herded the other unfortunate victims ahead of him to the next floor and whispered as he went past: "Hey, Dexter. Cute rump!" she smirked.

Dexy grinned back. "I was just getting the hang of this walk, too!" he smiled as he wiggled his way provocatively up the stairs.

"See you soon, Wanda." Jemmy laughed deliciously.

"You told her!" Obi-Wan hissed at Rela.

Rela shrugged. "Girls don't have secrets from one another." She remarked as she absently tidied up her red hair. "YOU should appreciate that. WANDA!"

Spider sighed as the hesitant group of seven headed, or in Mace's case hobbled, up the stairs. "Right gang, let's get ready to party!" she clapped.

"Party?" Depa Billaba frowned.

Jemmiah nodded. "The atmosphere in the Blast and Run can be very heady. Not as seedy or old fashioned as the Hell's Chance but every bit into gambling and wenching and partying�"

"Wenching?" Leona asked in distaste.

"I've only been in there once and I didn't stay very long, I can tell you. They'll bet on just about anything and for anything. Next thing you know you've been bought by a one legged Devoronian gangster from Nar Shaada�" "I'm not sure I like the sound of this place!" Leona insisted.

"It'll be fun! And it'll be a good way to make some funds for the temple." Jemmiah replied.

"I'm always available when it comes to games of chance." Jodi agreed. "And so is Kryz. Aren't you?"

To his surprise, Kryztan didn't answer him.

"He went with Dex." Depa snorted. "Probably to try and do something about those bruises."

"I should think Obi will want to do something about those bruises." Letina added. "Like add to them."

Rela smiled reassuringly at Jemmiah. "Relax," she put in. "Nothing is going to happen up there. Dex and Mace and An-Paj wouldn't stand for it."

"I know." She replied, but looking strained all the same. "You're right. What can happen, after all?"

*******

"It's not coming off!" Simeon scrubbed and scrubbed at the heavy eye make up until he thought his face might dissolve.

"I've got the lipstick off." Jay said hopefully.

"My mascara has run." An-Paj complained. "I've a good mind to complain to the manufacturers."

"I wish Rela hadn't sprayed me with that perfume." Choked Obi-Wan in disgust. "Summer blossom just stinks to all the seven Sith hells."

"You're lucky!" Dex remarked. "I know for a fact that Jemmiah totally doused Qui-Gon in "Passion For Life, Corellian White Orchid."

"He hates that stuff." Kenobi grinned. "It's her favorite scent and she used to spray the whole apartment with it when she lived with us. Must have been in revenge for the soap incident."

"I got Alderaani Lilacs." Dex rolled up his sleeve, letting Obi-Wan sniff the delicate fragrance.

"I like that." He nodded. "It's very subtle though. Strange how women seem to chose perfume to match their personality."

"All I know is that it makes my nose itch," Jay complained.

"I think this is the best we'll manage." Zac grimaced as he dabbed at his cheekbones with soapy water.

Dex nodded. "We told the others we'd meet them in ten minutes. That was five minutes ago. Better get moving. We can always try and remove it when we get to the Blast and Run."

Jay closed his eyes and moaned. "Master Berlingside, sir. Trust me, you do NOT want to be seen in the freshers in the Blast and Run looking like this!"

"Maybe we can mind trick a few people into thinking we're normal," Simeon said optimistically.

Mace limped out of the doorway. "Fat chance," he said.

Dex stamped down hard on the urge to chuckle at his friend. "I want you all to think positive thoughts as you walk out there." He said. "Hold your head up high. We've nothing to be ashamed of. OK, a lot of people might stare. In fact most of them will probably stare. But take pride in the fact that we are Jedi. Right?"

"Right!" The others grinned.

"Come on then, sisters!" Dex laughed. "On into the night!"

The others began to file out after Mace, until Dex put his hand out to stop Kryztan from leaving. "Not you." He remarked. "We have some talking to do, remember?"

"In here, Master?" Harkley winced at his bruised face and ribs.

"Why not?" Dex folded his arms across his broad chest.

"It's just that�people keep coming and going in here." He half laughed.

"So?"

"It's not very private."

Dex nodded. "Do I take it from that you've done something you think I will be ashamed of?" he asked.

"Possibly." Kryztan agreed reluctantly.

"You've been in a fight with Obi-Wan," Dex stated.

Kryztan looked shocked. "How did you know?"

"I doesn't take the greatest detectives in Coruscant to figure that one out. Kenobi appears with broken hands and then shortly afterwards you turn up looking as if someone has put you through a meat shredder." Dex raised a cautious hand to the bruises on the padawans face. "You must have made him very angry. What did you do?"

"Nothing." Harkley said too quickly.

Dex knew that sulky look of old. "Don't lie to me padawan. I can read you like a book." He stared long and hard at the split lip that disfigured the attractive face of the apprentice. "Obi-Wan is a very level headed individual. He doesn't pick fights with people just for the sake of it. Now, the only thing that I can think of which might produce a reaction like that is a woman. Correct?"

Kryztan looked away.

"Ah. I'm right, I see." Dex felt pleased that he could pick up on his padawans thoughts so easily. "I thought this must be the case. That's why I left you alone for so long without bothering you. I had hoped if you experienced any problems you might come and talk to me. I confess I'm rather disappointed you haven't."

"It's not that simple." Kryztan gritted his teeth.

"Why not? Because you have a thing for Kenobi's girlfriend?" Dex smiled at Kryztan's abashed expression. "You think I didn't know?"

"I felt�"

"Rejected," finished Berlingside. "Padawan, there are plenty of other girls out there. And from what I can tell she seems in earnest about Obi-Wan. You're making big waves and big trouble for yourself."

"I can't help it," he grumbled.

"Yes you can. You can stop yourself from getting into fights with Padawan Kenobi by simply avoiding antagonizing him and his girlfriend. Leave them be."

//I can't,// thought Kryztan as he saw his master's eyes scrutinize him. //I can't let this go. I might have to change tactics a little, be a little more careful. But I can't let this go�. //

"He's an oaf." Kryztan remarked icily. "He's not good enough for her."

Dex's open features creased at the remark. "He's your friend." He looked puzzled. "A true friend wouldn't say that sort of thing."

Another voice joined the fray. "A true friend wouldn't do what he did, either." Obi-Wan's eyes blazed back.

*******

Jemmiah caught up with Qui-Gon outside the cantina. "How did it go?" she asked.

"It didn't," he snapped. "I am not going to be talking to Ms. Demodae in the near future." He stared down at her. "And neither are you."

Jemmy let him walk away from her so as not to let him see the miserable expression on her face. HE was annoyed this time. She decided that moaning to him now would do no good at all, in fact quite the reverse. Then again, walking with Lilith wasn't exactly a smart move either�

She decided to hang about with Rela and Spider.

"Qui-Gon still looks like he should be wearing a frock." Rela remarked happily.

"Huh?"

"The lipstick." Rela pointed to her face. "He's going to get some VERY odd looks in the Blast and Run."

"That is one wild cantina." Spider shivered. "Every time I've been in, some kind of fight has broken out."

"Just as well we're with a party of guardians of peace and justice." Rela giggled.

"Drunken Jedi?" snorted Jemmiah. "What good are they?"

"And drunk Jedi wearing eye shadow." Spider laughed.

They walked a little way behind the main group as they continued their journey towards the cantina, taking in the show as Biwo and Vernice staggered with Hmiol propped up between them.

"Well, that one improves on better acquaintance." She smiled.

"Hmiol?" Frowned Rela.

"Yeah. Mace and I are always after him to lighten up but I'm telling you, one day that boy is going to find out what life is all about and I am going to be there to see it happen."

"And what is life all about?" Spider asked.

"Having a good time?" Rela offered. "Working hard and playing even harder? Being popular?"

Jemmiah smiled. "Or infamous!" she added. "If you can't be good, be bad!"

Rela nodded and the three of them linked arms. "Here's to being bad!" Rela agreed as Jemmy laughed.

The Corellian girl felt some how tired yet exhilarated. Being here with her friends, watching as Leona kept ever so tight a vigilance on Sal-Fina as the leggy blonde made her way up to Qui-Gon, feeling the excitement at the idea of riding proper fast swoops and learning from Lilith and making up the fight with the man she had come to regard as her friend and father�it was proving to be a momentous night.

And it wasn't over yet.

The urge to laugh out loud crept upon her for no very good reason. Suddenly she felt very good about herself without really knowing why.

"What is it?" Rela asked, laughing with her.

"I don't know." She smiled. "I feel as if I've heard the punchline but missed the joke somehow."

"That's the drink talking." Spider tutted in mock disgust.

"I can't explain it." Jemmy said.

"Maybe it's the force trying to tell you something." Rela said as they continued to walk down the street.

"Why would the force want to tell me something?" Jemmiah snorted. "All these Jedi to chose from? That would be like trying to send a holo message to a home without a receiver!"

"Mock me if you will." Rela shook her head. "But I know about these things. The Force IS trying to tell you something." She waved her hand infront of Jemmy's face.

"Your mind tricks work about as well as Qui-Gon's." Jemmiah smirked.

"I bet you I'm right." Rela smiled at her.

Jemmy sighed. "Supposing you are right. What would the Force be telling me?"

"Perhaps Evla's come back early and discovered the three men you've got hiding in the wardrobe." Rela guessed.

"Don't be ridiculous," Jemmy denied.

"Sorry," Rela apologized.

"There's only two in the wardrobe. The third is under the bed." Jemmiah put her hand in the inside of her jacket, to where the secret pocket was. "I know what the Force is telling me," she said cheerfully.

"What?" Spider asked.

"Yeah, don't keep us in suspense." Rela added. "What is it?"

After a short pause, Jemmiah pulled out a small tube of make up remover. "I thought I had brought this with me," she said.

"Good. Now you'll be able to let the others get off our backs." Spider rolled her eyes. "No, I don't think that's what the Force had in mind." Jemmiah grinned. "I don't think it was telling me to find it."

The glee was evident in her voice. �It's telling me to keep it hidden!"

*******

Far and Ashdal carried the prone form of Hmiol between them. Far chuckled. "You know, this reminds me of a certain race..." He grinned half-playfully, "Which, by the way, I won!"

"Did not!" she shot back.

Far took a second to tune into his padawan's drunken murmurings. "Yenera......tract..."

Far's head shook in confusion. "Did he say what I thought he said?"

"...got in...ster Biwo's drink....should've been more careful..." Garos' head rolled slowly side to side.

Far's first reaction was shock. HIS padawan? Then came anger. HIS padawan! But then, a sly smile spread across his lips.

"Padawan, I'm going to kill you now."

"....unhhh...."

"Padawan, you are completely nude."

"........."

"Padawan, you have won one million credits."

"....houuunnnn........"

//Perfect...// Far thought gleefully, //He's out cold. Chances are he won't remember telling me anything. So he won't see it coming...// Almost as an afterthought, he said, "Padawan, there are more Wookiees about."

Hmiol's head stirred for a moment, the snapped up. "Where!?" He asked, his eyes wide with fear.

*******

"Do you mind if I ask you precisely what you mean by that?" Dex asked politely, yet with a coolness that was not lost on Obi-Wan inspite of his fury. He matched the Corellian master stare for stare, determined not to flinch under scrutiny.

"I'll let HIM tell you." Kenobi breathed. "And if he doesn't�they'll be plenty of people out there who'll be only too happy to inform you of the truth."

Dex's head snapped from Jinn's padawan to his own who seemed to be struggling to shield his emotions. "Padawan?" he asked with a voice laden with dread.

Kryztan swallowed but stared past his master's shoulder to Obi-Wan, almost pleading with his eyes, begging him soundlessly not to say anything further.

"Don't expect any help from me." Obi-Wan shook his head. "I'm not feeling charitable towards you, infact I would go as far as to say that if I never caught sight of you again I would die a very happy person." He looked at Dex and then back again. "What's the matter? Too scared? Can't tell your master incase he suddenly realizes what a piece of pond scum he's got as a padawan?"

"Padawan Kenobi, that's enough!" Dex raised his voice. "I don't know the full story and I intend to get to the bottom of this," he looked at the terrified Kryztan, "but I will NOT have you yelling at my apprentice in this way OR hitting him for that matter. Is that understood?"

Obi-Wan gave a small laugh. "I wouldn't wipe my boots on him." Kenobi shouldered his robe. "Good luck, Master Berlingside."

The pair of them followed his retreating back to the door with their eyes and once he had disappeared from view Dex slowly turned round to face his padawan in the face.

"I am waiting," he said.

"I�I made some remarks, that's all."

"What kind of remarks?"

"About his girlfriend. I was only joking, you know? He sort of took them to heart."

"Such as?"

"Just that she was a bit�easy."

"And he hit you for this?" Dex asked.

Kryztan could see the uncertainty on his masters face, not sure what to believe. Time to turn on the charm, he thought� "Master, I know it was wrong to insult Jemmiah the way I did but he didn't give me the chance to apologize. Just laid right into me. Naturally I had to defend myself."

"Maybe I should speak to Qui-Gon." Dex hesitated, clearly still undecided on the truth.

"No, Master. I just want to forget this whole thing. I'll apologize to Jemmy when Obi's calmed down."

Dex stared at him. Testing him, thought Kryztan. "But if you were attacked�" he waited for the answer.

"I provoked it. And if you bring Qui-Gon into this then Obi-Wan will get into trouble too and then they'll be no chance of me making up the quarrel. It really was my fault."

For a while Dex said nothing before an eventual nod indicated that he had been believed, at least partially. "OK, Padawan. I won't ask Master Jinn to reprimand Obi-Wan. But it is a grave fault to let go unpunished. I should hate to see what happened with Xanatos repeat itself due to a lack of instruction. It's not something that a master should have to cope with. In the meantime, I expect you to stay as far away from padawan Kenobi as possible. I don't want you aggravating the situation until you've had a chance to apologize to Jemmiah."

Kryztan still felt uncertain as to which master was being referred to, his own or Obi-Wan's. For the moment it seemed he had earned a temporary and unexpected reprieve. As long as Master Berlingside swallowed his story then h e would make no further inquiries.

"I have been trying to stay out of the way," Kryztan mumbled, striving to look contrite.

"Very well. I accept your story." Dex smiled. "Let's get out of here, shall we?"

*******

Obi-Wan exited the cantina in a foul mood that didn't want to seem to dissipate no matter how hard he tried to release his anger into the force. He knew that somehow, in someway, Kryztan would try his damned hardest to wriggle out of it.

And succeed, too.

So many things were irking him. The fact that Jemmy had made up with his master had caused him no end of satisfaction but it still seemed as if he were being stalked by invisible agents of torment who were determined to throw a hydro spanner in the machinery at every given chance. He and Jemmiah were not being given the opportunity to have any time to themselves and he couldn't foresee an occasion in the near future when that would change. The irritation of the situation caused him to grind his teeth.

Kryztan was another matter entirely.

Jemmiah attracted all kinds of attention from all kinds of people. Half the time she didn't seem to be aware of the fact. The other half she would really make the most of the reactions she got from other men. Flirting, teasing, playing up to them�generally being Corellian. But that had always just been her way. She hadn't ever encouraged Kryztan in the slightest and that was what made Harkley's behavior so unforgivable in his eyes. He could understand Kryztan having feelings for her. Could sympathize with him in a way.

Except that he was supposed to be his friend.

That was all ended now, no matter what came of the fight incident at the Hell's Chance. He'd lost someone he'd once considered to be a trustworthy friend and that was the bitterest pill to swallow.

Some friend he'd turned out to be.

Damn it, the whole thing left him with tears in his eyes that he couldn't wipe for his bandaged hands. Thank the Force there was nobody around to see�

"Well look who we have here." Lilith remarked quietly. "It's the Civil Servant himself."

"Don't be unkind," Krelo hissed as the startled Obi-Wan looked up from the ground.

"What's the matter? Don't you look where you are going every now and then?" Demodae asked, deciding to be pleasant for Jemmiah's sake more than anything else.

"I didn't see you there," Kenobi remarked. "I'm sorry."

"What's the matter, Obi-Wan?" Krelo asked sharply.

The padawan pulled a face. "Where do I start?" he answered. "I've just backed Kryztan into a corner and now he's going to have to confess what he did to his master."

"Good. Serve's the stunted little slimeweed right!" Lilith spat.

"I couldn't agree with you more." Obi-Wan replied. "But poor Master Berlingside doesn't deserve all that aggravation. I don't think my master's going to be too pleased with me after he went to all that trouble to keep the whole thing quiet."

"Don't pay your master any heed," Lilith said in a harsh tone. "He was wrong on that one. Even Krelo agreed that Harkley should have been taken before the council."

Krelo nodded but felt uncomfortable for Dex. That poor man�

"I shouldn't think that will happen." Obi-Wan couldn't help the bitterness in his voice. "You don't know Kryztan as well as I do. If there's one thing he can be; it's plausible. He'll have Master Berlingside sucked in no problem. Shifting the blame onto me, no doubt. Or worse still saying that it was Jemmy that encouraged him."

Lilith's eyes narrowed venomously.

"And then there's the little matter of my master hitting him. Quite how Master Berlingside would take that should it become known, I really wouldn't like to say. Part of me hopes he gets found out and the other part of me hopes that this whole thing will just go away and we can all get back to normal."

Krelo sighed gently. "It doesn't work that way, Obi-Wan. If he hasn't admitted what he did to Dex then he is going to learn nothing from this. And if he hasn't learned anything then he is going to think he's got away with it. And then he'll try it again."

"He wouldn't dare!" Obi-Wan's eyes blazed. "My master would tear him to pieces. And that's not an exaggeration."

Lilith listened to the conversation as they walked together towards the Blast and Run, thinking swiftly. She may have chosen to make her living from amongst people who broke the rules day in and day out, but there were certain laws and standards that even smugglers kept.

"Let's see if he owns up to Dex," The tall woman said hotly. "That might save us all the trouble. If he hasn't, well, I think it's time that Krelo and I had a little word in his ear."

"Lilith�" Krelo began.

"I know what you're going to say and I know about your rekindled passion for our Corellian master but that makes it even more important that he knows. Jinn was wrong to protect the man from this. He should know what he's dealing with."

Krelo looked into the muddy green eyes, burning with a fiery, indignant intensity. The issue of owning up and taking the blame here was almost as important as the initial crime itself. She knew the smuggler was right, and yet� "It will hurt him badly, Lilith. You have no idea how badly it pained Qui-Gon when Xanatos betrayed him." She looked sadly at Obi-Wan.

"Kre." Lilith folded her arms.

Krelo reluctantly gave way, feeling the argument drift from her. It had been a long night. "Okay," she said finally. "If he doesn't come clean, we'll tell him."

*******

Griff walked over to the bar, where a young, freckle faced young lady with sandy-gold hair was serving behind the bar, a sullen and morose expression on her face. "I'm with them." He grinned, pointing at the Jedi and waiting on his supply of free drink. Then he caught sight of An-Paj and Simeon with a fair degree of stage make up still plastered to their faces and rapidly changed his tune.

"Second thoughts, I'm not with them." He shuddered. "Get me a Corellian Ale, would you?"

"We are getting severely stared at." Simeon felt desperate. "I feel the urge to drink myself into oblivion becoming stronger and stronger by the second."

"For once, Padawan," An-Paj walked over to Griff, "so do I." Griff's eyes kept straying to the little freckle faced girl with the rather noticeable and shelf-like behind that seemed to draw the attention of most males in the cantina. He was being cruel, he knew. What the heck. "Hey, darling." He grinned as he took the ale from the tray she brought round. "How about you park your rear over here beside me. Whoops, sorry. Looks like you already have!"

The hackles on the back of her neck seemed to rise as if she were a cat.

Simeon watched her as she spluttered in outrage, deciding to come to her rescue.

"You'll have to forgive our drinking companion." He smiled ingratiatingly. "I'm afraid the charm school he was attending closed down due to lack of funding."

"Only because I stole the money," Griff said proudly.

The girl sniffed, shot Griff a deadly parting look and continued on her way with the tray.

"That wasn't very nice." Simeon chided. "She can't help how she looks."

"So says the man with rouge on his cheeks." Griff remarked. "Don't worry about it. That was only a bit of banter. Women love it."

"That is somebody's daughter you are talking about." An-Paj replied sternly. He sipped at his drink for a while before adding, "thank the gods she isn't mine."

"Look at the backside on that!" Griff blinked his eyes in disbelief.

"I'm looking, I'm looking!" Simeon said in awe.

"You could hide a stolen tramp freighter down there and still never find it!" Griff laughed.

"And they say chivalry is dead," Gethin joined in.

Jay and Tanni sauntered over; staring at the portion of anatomy that was so very prevalent on everyone's minds. "Sith!" chuckled Abran. "Who let the Bantha in here?"

"Plenty of meat on that!" the Togorian purred appreciatively.

Griff watched as she wiggled her way round to serve Spider. "It's like a small moon," he commented.

"More like a Space Station," Simeon added, causing An-Paj and Gethin to choke on their drinks.

The other Jedi, receiving stares from virtually every being in the place be they human or otherwise, began to collect not far from the bar in little groups. When Rela was offered a drink from the tray she waved the girl away asking instead for a fruit cocktail.

"Why did you come to drink in here if you don't want alcohol?" she muttered. "This IS a cantina, you know."

"Listen up, canyon bottom. I'm a customer. I'm paying to drink in here. What I drink is no concern of yours. Now, kindly get me my fruit cocktail before I put in a call to ocean mammal rescue and tell them that there's a Flipperphant beached itself in a cantina posing as a waitress."

Freckle-face glowered and stalked off.

"What's up?" Jemmiah wondered as she saw the huge backside disappear over to the bar.

"Staff problems." Rela smiled. "But don't worry. I've dealt with it."

"I'll bet." Jemmy grinned. "Sheeesh, I'd have surgery on that!"

"The front view's not much better." Rela snickered.

Jemmiah's eyes drifted over to Leona and Qui-Gon. They seemed to be getting on just fine. Most worryingly, there in the background was Sal-Fina. Loitering with intent.

And where the heck was Ben?

"Here." A gruff voice near her ear brought her back to the present. "Your FRUIT drink. Give my regards to the bitter lemons."

"Cheers!" Rela snatched the drink from Freckle Face, staring open mouthed as she walked away. "Can you believe some people Jem? I'm telling you that one is just a step away from being entered in my book of death�Jem? What is it? You alright?"

Jemmiah looked at the bar worker in complete and utter disbelief. "I don't believe it," she stated.

"What?" Rela frowned. "What's the matter?"

"Hold this." Jemmiah passed Rela her glass of Purple Twilight that was disguising itself as something less potent.

"Where are you going?" Rela demanded. "Jemmy?"

The Corellian girl followed the bar worker with the unfortunate proportioned behind until she stopped to pick up a drinking vessel from the bar top. Jemmiah tapped her on the shoulder. "Hello." She smiled.

Freckle Face eyed her up and down distastefully. "Hello. What do you want? Another fruit cocktail for your friend? Tell you what, I'll get you a saw and then you can go to Bandomeer and pick one from the tree yourself."

Jemmy grinned maniacally. "You don't remember me, do you?" she asked.

"Should I?" Freckle face asked bluntly, here eyes sweeping over the shapely and pretty figure in the black dress.

"We used to know each other." Jemmy nodded. "Do try and have a think about it."

Freckle Face looked unsure. "Can't think where I've met you before. Get lots of doxys round here." She smirked.

"Is that right. Well, allow me to refresh your memory." Jemmiah crooked her finger forward and the bar worker leaned in closer. "Rock cakes." Jemmy said.

For a moment nothing seemed to register at all. And then� "You?" she squealed.

"Remember me now, don't you?" Jemmy flexed her hands. "It's been six years but I swore that no matter how long it took me I would somehow manage to catch up with you. I think you'll recall that our parting was somewhat acrimonious."

The bar worker swallowed nervously as Jemmy moved even closer.

"What's going on Jemmy?" Rela stepped up besides the Corellian girl, momentarily distracting Freckle Face.

"This!" yelled Jemmiah and smacked her sworn enemy in the face. Glasses and chairs were flung aside as the hefty body landed across the bar surface, leaving her large backside on public display.

"Six years I waited to do that, Digwurt!" Jemmy gasped. "And it was worth every darned second!"

Sophie Digwurt lay stunned and bruised, reeling from the considerable force in Jemmiah's punch. She turned round to face her, panting like a fish out of water.

"How does it feel now, huh?" Jemmy growled. "Not nice to be punched and kicked about, is it? Or had you forgotten what you and your cronies did to me?"

"Forget?" Sophie gasped. "It's written in my diary. I celebrate it every year!"

The red mist descended thick and fast in front of Jemmiah's eyes and Sophie began to wonder if she might have been unwise to say what she had. "Yeah?" Jemmy lowered her head like a charging bull. "Celebrate this!"

The Corellian launched herself at her former schoolmate and the pair of them went clattering to the ground. Tables, chairs and drinks trays fell as scattered debris, the pair of them landing heavily on the floor, rolling over and over and over�

Qui-Gon was on his feet in an instance, trying to prize Jemmiah off before she managed to inflict any serious damage. "What do you think you're doing?!" he shouted as he griped her tightly round the rib cage, pulling her away from the seething Sophie Digwurt.

"She's got it coming!" Jemmiah kicked out at Sophie and felt her foot contact with the girl's cheekbone.

"You are in enough trouble as it is without adding to it." Qui-Gon dragged her a few feet back from the action.

Jemmiah struggled to get away. "Let me go!" she yelled. "Don't you understand? That's SOPHIE DIGWURT!"

"I don't care if she's the Queen of Naboo!" Jinn snapped back.

"Get your hands off me!" Jemmiah began to wriggle furiously out of his grasp. "That's the little parasite that left me half dead on the way back from school six years ago."

Qui-Gon did not loose his grasp for one moment but began to turn his attention on Sophie Digwurt. Funny, but she looked exactly how he imagined her. Even down to the sneer. He couldn't say he cared for the look of her at all.

"You can't go taking the law into your own hands. I once told you that, remember?" Qui-Gon spoke sharply in Jemmiah's ear.

"I told you I would defend myself against maniacs like her if I was attacked but you told me no. Next thing I know, I get so badly crunched that I find myself waking up in the infirmary. Do you remember that?" she spat back.

Qui-Gon looked from the angry Jemmiah to the outraged Sophie.

"Let them fight." A loud female voice by his side said.

"I hardly think you are a leading authority on solving problems of this nature." Qui-Gon didn't even turn his head to acknowledge Lilith, who had made her way with Krelo and Obi-Wan to the Blast and Run some few moments after the others.

"It's the only way this thing will get resolved," Lilith remarked icily. "Let them fight."

"Jemmy, what's going on?" Obi-Wan approached his master and his still squirming girlfriend.

"I'm going to brain that little piece of Fleg!" Jemmiah kicked out with both feet.

Several of the patrons in the cantina were starting to make bets as to who would win the fight and money was changing hands fast and furiously across the tables.

"I am not advocating brawls!" hissed Qui-Gon.

"If you don't Master Jinn you are going to have a full scale war on your hands." Lilith responded quickly, looking at the eager and extremely rough looking gamblers round the tables. "They're not going to let you guys out of here without a little bloodshed, Jedi or no Jedi. They want their money and they want their entertainment. We are it. You have to let them fight."

Sophie was already on her feet, holding her bruised cheek and Jemmiah kicked out once more, narrowly missing her nose.

"I can't just�" Qui-Gon began as he turned to speak to Lilith.

Jemmiah saw her chance and somehow managed to slip out of his grasp.

The fight that followed was long remembered although of short duration.

Sophie grabbed an old fashioned bar stool to use as a weapon but Tanni Welasa flicked it straight out of her grasp with the force, sending it into the face of one of the spectators. Left inexplicably without an implement to hit with Sophie was caught momentarily off guard.

"My money's on the Corellian!" shouted someone in the background.

Jemmiah charged like a stampeding Bantha and ran smack into Sophie, bringing her once more to the ground. The fists and painted talons punched and scratched and slapped and gouged, and suddenly Obi-Wan knew why Jemmy left her nails so long�

Vaguely aware of Rela and Spider baying for Sophie's blood, Jemmiah made a grab at the front of Sophie's shirt just as her opponent struggled backwards, and the ensuing tearing sound of fabric could be heard even over the excited din of the spectators.

When Jemmiah jumped up, she triumphantly held aloft what appeared to be a large and heavily padded bra from which several layers of wadding fell out.

Sophie let out a scream of horror.

"Is the backside padded too, or is that natural?" Jemmiah waved the trophy about amidst the applause and jeers in the crowd. "Who's the stunted piece of bog wrack now, Digwurt?"

Clutching herself across the chest, Sophie ran to lock herself in the fresher.

"Oh, well. Guess this is mine, huh?" she grinned at Lilith. "I'll get it stuffed and hung on the wall as a momento."

Obi-Wan would have clapped had his hands been free, but the emotions he sensed from his master would have been enough to change his mind. Qui-Gon was most displeased. But he seemed to have learned his lesson. He bit his tongue for fear that any criticism he gave now when he was annoyed might be enough to push Jemmiah further towards Captain Demodae.

"I want your word," he spoke calmly to Jemmy, "that this is the last we will hear of this matter."

"I've no need for revenge now." Jemmiah shrugged as she twirled the bra idly on one finger. "I've exorcised my ghosts. Digwurt is off my hit list as of this moment."

"Good." Qui-Gon breathed. "That was a shameful display. What must everyone think?"

When many of the patrons came forward and offered to buy them all drinks, Qui-Gon got his answer.

"Nice one, Jemmy." Rela grinned from ear to ear.

"Yeah, couldn't agree more kid." Lilith nodded. "Humiliation is the best way to get revenge."

Lilith's eyes went towards the door as Dex and his padawan stepped into the cantina.

Dex had his arm draped protectively over Kryztan's shoulder and when they got nearer to Obi-Wan, Dex shot him a very dark look. It appeared odd because Dex didn't have the sort of face that was readily made for scowling, in fact Lilith was almost willing to bet that he'd been one of those babies who smiled non stop in that cutesy-pie way. Even if his rattle had been stolen.

But now�

"There's your answer, Kre," Lilith muttered to Krelo. "Kenobi was right. The poor guy has been completely fooled by that snake of a padawan. So now I guess it's up to us to put him straight on a few matters."

"Lilith. I really think that we�"

"It was agreed, remember? It's what he deserved. Just remember what he tried to do. Remember what he has done. Think of what he might still do, given the chance."

"But Dex�"

"Has to be told. You can't keep him in the dark like this, Krelo. It's not right. Say he finds out at a later stage and then he wonders why you never told him at the time? What's he going to think then, huh?"

Krelo watched as Kryztan wandered over to the bar. She hadn't been convinced. Dex might be happier to live in ignorance of what had happened at the Hell's Chance. But what DID convince her was the smug look that Kryztan gave Jemmiah as he raised his glass to his lips.

"Fine. We'll tell him. But let's do it now before I lose my nerve."

Krelo made her way through the swarm of people trying to congratulate Jemmiah, dodging elbows and jostling bodies until she eventually managed to find her way over to Dex.

"Mind if I join you?" Krelo asked hesitantly.

"I'd be sorry if you didn't!" Dex replied, his face immediately relaxing into his naturally cheerful expression.

//How do I do this?// Krelo wondered desperately. //How do I tell him that the boy he has invested all his time and love in training over the years is probably destined to be dismissed from the temple?//

"You looked a bit unhappy." She ventured. "I thought I'd see what was wrong."

"No fooling you." Dex smiled thinly. "Padawan trouble. Don't you worry about it."

"You're worried, though," Krelo stated. "You want to talk about it?"

Dex said nothing, merely playing with his glass of brandy.

"If you want me to go away�" Krelo began.

"It's just a feeling," he said.

"What kind of feeling?"

He took a mouthful of the strong, warmth giving liquor and swallowed audibly. "The feeling that my padawan is lying to me."

Krelo looked surprised. "So you know?" she asked.

"Know what? I can't get the truth out of Kryztan. I know he's not being straight with me. I don't know what all this is about but the one thing I do know is that Obi-Wan is not a liar. I know he wouldn�t fight without good reason."

He looked at Krelo. "You know?"

She nodded slowly.

"I acknowledge the fact that I might not want to hear this but I would like you to tell me what happened." He took her hand. "I trust you to tell me the truth."

Krelo looked at the large hand encircling her own and realized she couldn't do it. "I'm sorry Dex." She shook her head. "I�I can't."

"Well, I can," Demodae said from over Krelo's shoulder.

"Lilith, please."

Dex waved away Krelo's protestations and looked into the tall Corellian's face. He could see many things written there. Determination, anger, but most of all he was amazed to see a fair degree of sorrow.

"I'm a blunt person, Master Berlingside. Comes with the job I'm afraid. But I am sorry if I cause you any distress because Krelo likes you and I credit her with having good taste. From what I know of you there appears little to dislike."

Berlingside closed his eyes modestly, accepting the complement yet knowing that the hammer was about to descend on him in a matter of seconds. "But�" he started her off.

"But," Lilith sat down next to him, "I'm afraid I'm going to have to tell you things about your padawan which you aren't going to like."

Lilith waited until Dex nodded again before she sat down opposite Krelo and began speaking in a low voice to keep their conversation from the ears of the other patrons. "I noticed the look you gave to Obi-wan when you came in. I assume you know that he and Harkley had a bit of a tussle?"

"A bit? My padawan is liberally black and blue!" Dex protested.

"And both of Obi-Wan's hands are broken. Your apprentice dodges well. Qui-Gon's boy didn't have the opportunity to much damage to Harkley at all. Before we go any farther I want you to know that I am the one who did most of it."

Lilith did not avoid the Jedi's gaze. She told him right out that she had hurt his padawan. It was the least she could do since she was about to also tell him why. And Dex sensed that. His handsome face grave and already showing signs of extreme trepidation, he nodded slowly and waited for her to continue.

"Okay," Lilith nodded in approval of the man's willingness to go on with the explanation. She'd probably have blown her top at that point. //One more reason why you're not a Jedi, silly.// "The reason he's so banged up is that there was a small Corellian street trial held in the alley behind the Hell's Chance." Lilith watched Krelo take hold of Berlingside's hand and acknowledged the redhead's sickly smile. "That was his sentence since we couldn't very well do anything more drastic without your knowledge and approval and the injured party wanted as few people to know as possible."

"Who was the injured party, if I might ask?" Dex inquired in low, pained tones, as if he already suspected the answer.

"Jemmiah."

Dex nodded. "That's what I was afraid of."

"He slipped a drug into one of her drinks, one with aphrodisiac side-effects, Diloxamide to be precise, then he arranged to be alone with her. She protested." Lilith's heart went out to the poor man in front of her, for he was now wincing with almost every word. But she couldn't stop there. He had to know the truth.

"The healer lady, Griff, Qui-Gon and I discovered them before anything could happen, but what would have happened, had we not come along, was obvious. Harkley said he was sorry, that he hadn't meant it to go that far, so we let it go. Unfortunately, at the Hell's Chance, he cornered Jemmiah out in the alley and said some things that were calculated to be as hurtful and demeaning as possible. Obi-wan heard enough of it to lose his temper and attack Harkley, and ended up breaking one of his hands on the wall of the alley. We sent him back inside and I had Leona heal your padawan."

"So none of the damage he now suffers from was inflicted by Obi-wan?"

"No."

"Lilith believes strongly in keeping things as fair as possible," Krelo murmured softly from Dex's far side.

"We held the trial and with the testimony of witnesses he was found guilty. Sentencing was a thrashing and shunning by the group. That's why no one other than you has so much as looked in his direction since," Lilith concluded.

"She even let the disgusting rat defend himself during the thrashing," Krelo told the ashen-faced master. "Not that it did him any good. We truly are sorry, Dex, but your padawan is, well, he's a manipulative, vicious, mean-hearted sithling."

*******

"Ohhhhhhhhhh, set'em up." Jemmy managed a tired but bright smile. "This ought to help herald the beginning of the end."

"I'm not sure after that little display," Qui-Gon indicated the huge bra that Jemmiah had draped round her neck like a scarf, "you should ever be allowed to drink again. I don't know what has got into you lately. But I am blaming it on you." He jabbed an accusatory finger at his padawan.

"Me?" Obi-Wan asked, the perfect picture of innocence. "What have I done?"

"You were the one who first indulged her in the dubious pleasures of alcohol." Qui-Gon remarked. "Remember? I came back from the refectory and found the pair of you completely molassed! Jemmiah was lying on her side amongst several empty bottles of Florizan wine and more empty cake wrappers than I could count in one go!"

"I remember that." Jemmy sniffed. "I was sick all over my bed that night."

"I remember that, too." Obi-Wan glared at his master. "I was the one who had to clean up the mess."

"Your fault, Padawan, and your responsibility." Qui-Gon smirked. "If you will get ten year old girls drunk then that's what you can expect."

"Hey, what's next on the agenda?" Simeon asked as he pushed himself in between Obi-Wan and Jemmiah.

"Don't worry." The Corellian girl flashed her eyelashes alluringly at Obi-Wan. "Flint's got everything under control."

"Is she still here?" Zac stared over at the large, hairy being as she wandered over to the bar and began to converse with another one of her species.

Jemmiah nodded. "She saw us running along the road when those guys were chasing us and didn't know what we were doing so she just followed us."

"Some help she was," Zac grumbled. "Couldn't she have beat out a distress call on the Wookiee tree drums and sent several thousand of her nearby relatives tumbling out the local dives?"

"Don't have a go at Flint." Jemmy glared at him. "Wookiees are great people. Flint taught me to understand more or less everything she says."

"How long have you known her?" Simeon asked.

"Funnily enough, the time that Digwurt left me mangled in the street was actually the first occasion we met. She was the one who got me to the temple."

"Really?" Qui-Gon asked. "You never said."

"Well, I figure I kind of owe her for that so I've been waiting my chance to pay her back. Unfortunately that chance hasn't arrived yet."

"Maybe you should drop a casual word in her ear that Digwurt's in the cantina." Obi-Wan grinned.

Jemmy gave her boyfriend a quick peck on the cheek. "Oh, Ben. That is evil! I love it!" she replied. "Now, here's where the fun starts."

She caught sight of Dex and Lilith, with Krelo sitting off the side of them and began to feel faintly alarmed. She really, really hoped that the smuggler had not carried out her threat to tell Dex what had happened with Kryztan because the shame of it was still so fresh in her mind. Then there was Dex himself. How would she ever comfortably look him in the eye again?

"Jemmy?" Obi-Wan reminded her gently. "You were saying?"

"What�er, yes. This is the relay event."

"I don't like the sound of this." Qui-Gon sighed as Jemmiah set about explaining.

Jemmiah tried to calm his fears as best she could. "We split into two teams. Each person has three small glasses of Fire scorch in front of them," she replied, using an empty glass on the table before her as a demonstration. " You pick up the first glass and knock back the contents as fast as you can. As soon as the empty glass is down on the table you pick up the other one and do the same. And also for the next one, except that once the third glass is emptied the person next to you have to repeat the process. And so on down the line until the last one drains his glass. Whichever of the two teams is the last to complete gets the booby prize."

Qui-Gon covered his eyes. "And what might that be?" he asked in dread.

"Not telling." Jemmiah smiled. "You'll like it. Maybe."

"What do you mean, I'll like it?" Qui-Gon frowned. "What makes you think I'll lose?"

"Because you can't drink as well as some of we younger persons." Obi-Wan couldn't resist.

"That's why I'll make sure you are on my team." The gleam in Qui-Gon's eyes was unmistakable. "If we win then our triumph is a shared one. If we lose then we will both suffer the same fate."

"Thanks," Obi-Wan muttered. "But how am I supposed to drink with my hands in this state?"

"The person next to you will help." Jemmy grinned. "Won't you, Simeon?"

"Uh-uh." Qui-Gon stepped in. "In order to make things fair we will pick our teams in the usual manner. Team captain chooses someone, that person then picks someone and then so on. Agreed?"

Jemmiah didn't look too happy, Obi-Wan thought. That probably had blown her chances of rigging the event in some way. "Agreed," she said reluctantly, her eyes dwelling once again on Krelo and Dex. As the others gathered round, Jemmiah felt that bad feeling of hers treble in strength.

What was going on?