Table of Contents
EvoNews! The Best
Of . . .
(Note: the Editor in Chief's added comments are shown in parentheses. Hey, just like this one! How about that?! Titles are links to the original stories.)
A Sticky Controversy in Forrest Gump's Alabama
Friday November 9
MONTGOMERY, Ala.- There was plenty of debate (controversy) when Alabama began putting stickers in its students' biology textbooks warning that evolution is a ``controversial theory.''
That was in 1996 (and it was controversial).
On Thursday, when the Alabama Board of Edu(ma)cation voted to put the disclaimer on the front of 40,000 new biology textbooks bound for public school classrooms, there was no dissent (which is in itself controversial).
The teaching of evolution (to our kids), the (controversial) theory that humans and other living beings evolved into their present form over millions of years (from non-living matter), has been debated by school boards in several states.
But no other state has used a disclaimer sticker in textbooks statewide (though some have tried-keep reading), said Eric Meikle, outreach director of the National Center of Science Edu(ma)cation (well, there's always a first, isn't there?).
In Alabama, the state Board of Edu(ma)cation (who all have the last name "Gump") approves several biology textbooks from different publishers, and the local public school boards select which books will go into their schools, most often into 10th-grade classrooms.
The stickers that will be added to those books say, in part, that evolution is ``a controversial theory. ... Instructional material associated with controversy should be approached with an open mind, studied carefully, and critically considered (a statement that has "religion" written all over it).''
The board included the same statement in course guidelines for science teachers (to throw darts at).
The decision was actively supported by the Christian Coalition and the Eagle Forum, (fundy) groups that seek more religious activity in public schools (such a baptisms, Harry Potter book burnings and snake handling).
John Giles, state president of the Christian Coalition, said the new (controversial) sticker is not as strong as the old one (because they used recycled paper and cheap glue to make it), but he had been concerned that the board might drop the sticker entirely (and then it would be trampled on as it lay on the floor getting all dirty and making it non-legible).
``The insert they approved does provoke the child to think through the process (something that evolutionists and liberals cringe at),'' he said.
The earlier sticker contained questions students should ask about evolution, such as: ``Why do major groups of plants and animals have no transitional forms in the fossil record?'' (also "Why do you not believe in God, you fool?" and "Why do you think that you won't go to hell?" and "Isn't it about time you payed your tithe to the church?")
At a 1995 board meeting to approve the original disclaimer, then-Gov. Fob James (controversially) impersonated an ape to poke fun at evolutionary theory (something that the Editor in Chief finds very amusing - he's my kind of fellow and deserves a Blind Fools certificate of appreciation).
Other states where school boards have tried (and succeeded or failed?) to de-emphasize (not totally take out) evolutionary concepts include Arizona, Kansas, Illinois, New Mexico, Texas and Nebraska (as well as the state of Confusion).
Earlier this year, the Kansas Board of Edu(ma)cation voted to restore the teaching of evolution (and sex education) as a central theory in science classes there.
The move came 18 months after the board caused an (controversial) uproar by voting to (v)omit references to many (but not all) evolutionary concepts in the science curriculum.
Gov. Bill (we all end up in) Graves had called the 1999 vote: ``terrible, tragic, embarrassing (and controversial).''
In Oklahoma, the State Textbook Committee decided in 1999 to put a disclaimer sticker similar to Alabama's in its textbooks, but the state attorney general (one person) said the (State Textbook) committee lacked the authority to do so (on state textbooks).
The Thomas B. Fordham Foundation, a Washington-based education (propoganda) organization, last fall gave 19 states D's or F's in an evaluation of how public schools teach evolution (which means that we're making progress - keep up the good work everybody!).
Human Animals Will Become Extinct Without Space Habitats!
Tuesday October 16
LONDON - The human (animal) race is likely (but not absolutely) to be wiped out by a doomsday virus (Christianity) before this millennium is out unless it starts to colonize space (far far away from fundies), top British (evolutionary) scientist Stephen Hawking warned Tuesday.
Hawking's comments came as the United States teetered (tots) on the brink of panic over possible germ warfare (evangelism) after anthrax-laced letters (code word for "tracts") were delivered in the capital Washington and the states of New York, Nevada and Florida.
``I don't think the human (animal) race will survive the next thousand years unless we spread into space (leaving all churches behind).
There are too many accidents (like tripping and falling into a sunday school) that can befall life on a single planet,'' Hawking told Britain's Daily Telegraph newspaper (but some accidents are good like the big bang and origin of life - right?!).
Hawking, Lucasian professor of mathematics (and underwater basket weaving) at Cambridge University in England, said Armageddon (the movie?) threatened not in the form of a Cold War-style nuclear holocaust (there's no more nuclear threat? that's good news!) but could (or could not) arrive in a more insidious and invisible form (fundies dressed hip).
``In the long term (paper), I am more worried about biology (I may fail that class).
Nuclear weapons need large facilities (like churches), but genetic engineering can be done in a small lab (in the pastor's basement). You can't regulate every lab (basement) in the world,'' he said.
Investigators have not pinned down who (which tract publisher) is behind the U.S. anthrax (remember - code word) attacks, but fears are growing they could be retaliation for U.S. military strikes against Afghanistan (or taking prayer out of school), which followed last month's suicide attacks on New York and Washington.
Hawking, a leading (among other leading) theoretical physicists who hit the best-seller lists with his book ``A Brief History of Time,'' said the chances of humanity (at least our genes) pulling through (the dark ages of Christianity) looked good.
``I am an optimist (even though I know nothing about "eyes"). (Unless we all die first,) We will reach out to the stars (via a process known as reverse panspermia),'' he said (prognosticated).
A Star Trek-style ``warp drive'' might (or might not) be one way to relieve the tedium of lengthy journeys (by toasting marshmallows using the heat of the engine) between stars in spacecraft traveling below the speed of light, Hawking said.
Even the mighty Tyrannosaurus rex (as well as fundies) can't escape the merciless (which is okay in the evolutionary scheme of things) progress of scientific knowledge.
The truth (of nature) is cruel: (Mr.)T-rex was probably (Mr.)T-wrecks.
``If we did Jurassic Park 4 (after #3? - yeah right!),'' says Wyoming paleontologist Robert Bakker, ``(Mr.)T-rex would be portrayed in a fear-, angst-ridden role - sort of a large (black) Woody Allen character (sporting a short afro mohawk).''
The fearsome thunder-lizards lived wretched lives (and I pity the foos), he said.
``They were beat up (foos), limping, had oozing sores, were dripping pus and disease-ridden, and had to worry about their (foo) children starving and other (Mr.)T-rexs (from the A-Team) coming in and kicking them out (a beautiful aspect of Natural Selection because it's how we human animals got where we are today).''
Bakker, of the Wyoming Dinosaur (High) Society (Country Club), knows this because of research by Elizabeth Rega, a physical (not spiritual) anthropologist at (wild wild) Western University in Pomona, Calif.
Rega has studied ancient diseases in people and began applying her knowledge (and anti-biotic ointment) to (foo) dinosaurs a few years ago.
She presented her theory to more than 350 peers (not foos) at the annual meeting of the (Low) Society of Vertebrate Paleontology at Montana State University.
Rega and University of Iowa paleontologist Chris Brochu examined three (Mr.)T-rexs, including (Mr.)Sue, one of the most complete specimens (foos) in the world (complete with large heavy gold chains).
(Mr.)Sue's lower leg bone had an infection that healed but probably leaked pus at times (way too much info here).
``I don't know if this would have debilitated the animal, but it probably would have been really smelly in life,'' Rega said (yeah, I imagine a T-Rex smelling effervescent otherwise).
Sue also had several broken ribs, and several bones in her spine and tail had stiffened and begun to fuse (all caused by the constant weight of large heavy gold chains) .
But strangely enough, the marks on her bones (etched in by an HMO claims agent) indicate she was healthy.
``Most diseases (and mafia thugs) kill without leaving a mark on the bones,'' she said. ``They're healthy because they're living with it (which is why I pity the foos).''
Rega's research indicates that (Mr.)T-rex healed more like a mammal than a reptile (and how is that? isn't that important to the story here?).
That bolsters (some) paleontologists who theorize some (foo) dinosaurs were warm-blooded.
(Editors note: The T-Rex maybe not being as ferocious as usually portrayed is nothing new. Check out these articles if you dare:
http://www.answersingenesis.org/docs/2870.asp
http://www.answersingenesis.org/home/area/magazines/docs/v18trex.asp
http://www.answersingenesis.org/docs/4232cen_s1997.asp)
Episode One: The Phantom Evidence
AiG already has their rebuttal posted to the Public Brainwashing System's evolution piece.
PBS threw a pitch, AiG hit it out of the park!
Episode 2: Attack of the Clowns
Answers In Genesis has posted their rebuttal to episode 2 of the Public Brainwashing System's series "evolution."
PBS threw a gutter ball and AiG bowled a strike!
Answers In Genesis has posted their rebuttal to episode 3 of the Public Brainwashing System's series "evolution."
PBS lobbed a hail-Mary and AiG intercepted it and ran all the way back for a touchdown!
Answers In Genesis has posted their rebuttal to episode 4 of the Public Brainwashing System's series "evolution."
PBS tried a three-pointer and AiG rejected it into the bleachers!
Episode 5: What's Love Got To Do With It?
Answers In Genesis has posted their rebuttal to episode 5 of the Public Brainwashing System's series "evolution."
PBS trips over a hurdle and AiG breaks the tape winning the race!
Answers In Genesis has posted their rebuttal to episode 6 of the Public Brainwashing System's series "evolution."
PBS throws their dart and it bounces off that metal thing on the dart board and drops to the floor while AiG hits a bull's eye!
Episode 7: What About Fundies?
Answers In Genesis has posted their rebuttal to episode 7 of the Public Brainwashing System's series "evolution."
PBS gets out of sync and AiG swims together in perfect harmony!
ACLU challenges the act of doing nothing - some claim they have way too much time on their hands
The Supreme Court's chief justice refused Wednesday to stop Virginia from requiring students to start their day with a minute of silence (and the ACLU was silenced - at least for a moment).
The court may still consider a constitutional challenge of the practice (of doing nothing).
``There is no allegation (zero, zip, zilch, nada) that Virginia schoolteachers have used the minute of silence, or any other occasion, to lead students in collective prayer (which would turn them into the collective Borg),'' Chief Justice William H. Rehnquist wrote.
A divided three-judge panel (who all immediately fell down) of the 4th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals ruled in July that the state can require its 1.1 million public school students to spend a minute in meditation, personal reflection, prayer or any other silent activity (such as napping, playing mental Nintendo, having hate thoughts, etc.).
The American Civil Liberties Union (actually they should just go ahead and change their name to CLU - taking "America" out) sued on behalf (isn't that nice of them?) of a group of Virginia students and parents (who think that lack of noise is the cause of the country's woes) after the Legislature mandated the minute of silence last year.
Rebecca (silence is not golden) Glenberg, an attorney for the ACLU in Virginia, said they have received reports of teachers encouraging prayer (like the president?) and ``that could be the subject of future challenges.''
The ACLU (who are a bunch of busy bodies) wanted Rehnquist to stop the law from being enforced (the enforcement of doing nothing) this fall while their appeal was pending (which is doing something).
They contend the law is an effort to force students (via psychic telepathy that the Christian teachers learned over the summer at a base camp in Oregon) to pray and is similar to (but not exactly like) an Alabama statute which the Supreme Court struck down in 1985.
Rehnquist said the appeals court ``found ample evidence that ... [the Virginia law] has a clear secular purpose, namely, to provide a moment for quiet reflection (of what to do that weekend) in the wake of high-profile instances of violence (fueled by the absence of prayer and God) in our public schools.''
He said the Alabama statute was solely (or souly?) about prayer.
Virginia Attorney General Randolph A. Beales had told the court last week that students were only required to sit silently that minute, and ``there is nothing to fear from a classroom of silent, thoughtful children (that's where you're wrong - thinking children grow into uncontrollable adults).''
Beales said in a statement that Wednesday's decision was ``a victory for common sense (what's that?) and Virginia's schoolchildren (because now they have another sixty seconds in which they don't have to do any school work).''
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