chapter twenty-five

Nick couldn't sleep. It was 2:30 in the morning and in less than three and a half hours, he'd be up again for an early photo shoot. All he could think of for the last two months was Lauren. Everything led back to her some way or another. His thoughts were plagued by her. His sleep had become restless. His big old bed felt so empty and uninviting.

Nick flipped around and thought even his deathbed would be more comfortable right now. He pulled the covers closer to him and stared up at the remaining frames on the bedstand. There was one with Nick playfully covering Lauren's eyes and she was laughing. Another one was where Nick had frosting all over his face and Lauren was smugly wiping it from his nose with her index finger. She was so beautiful.

In a sudden rage, Nick knocked the pictures to the floor, hearing the glass shatter. Nick sat down near the glass on the floor and flipped over the frame. When he tried to retrieve the photograph, he cut his hand on a shard of glass he hadn't seen. He cursed and walked to the bathroom where he wetted a washcloth and applied pressure to stop the bleeding. He finally bandaged up the cut.

Nick looked at himself in the mirror. Boy, make-up sure was gonna have hell tomorrow with those huge, dark bags under his eyes. His face was otherwise pasty, but not sickly. Just kind of devoid of any color. Nick needed a shower; his hair was messy and greasy.

Nick closed his eyes and sighed. This was so messed up. If only they hadn't fought. He had promised her they wouldn't fight. And there it was, their first fight and they broke up again.

Nick shook his head, muttering to himself. He looked up at himself again. How could he have lost her a second time?

-------------------------

It had almost been a year since Lauren had come visited her friends for Christmas. Bright cheerful Christmas lights were everywhere. The Holiday ads were just starting their constant circuits on TV. Sometimes when she walked down the slushy streets, Lauren would spot a little child with his nose pressed against the toy store window, drooling over the display. Yes, indeed Christmas was near.

Samantha had her annual Christmas bash each year. It was nicknamed the "Bah Hum Bug Ball" for the hostess' sardonic attitude and humor. It was held at a banquet room at a large, fancy hotel ten minutes away from home. Samantha was a close friend of the hotel manager.

Samantha made sure that Lauren wasn't moping around for the holidays. Lauren obliged willingly, glad to keep her mind off of everything else. She and Samantha took charge of the decorations and catering. The had had been transformed in less than a week.

Lauren had finally found her bearings in New York. She had a job as an intern. It was enough to allow her to rent an apartment. Lauren was only partially moved out from her friend's place. Lauren didn't ever dare attempt dating anyone new. Love was for people who were strong enough, she thought. Not her.

Samantha protected Lauren heavily. Even now, she was still in such a broken state. She was showing progress, but very slowly.

For almost three weeks without Lauren's knowledge of it, Samantha had been in contact with Kevin. Secretively, they kept each other updated on their friends. Samantha even began to plot with him on bringing them back together for some kind of closure or resolution.

Nick's condition was nothing short of miserable. He was forgetting important meetings, showing up late and unprepared, and his attitude was certainly subdued. He had become reckless, too.

"He'd come to meetings halfway drunk. His shirt would be old and you knew he hadn't slept a wink," Kevin had told Samantha once.

Samantha kept this all in mind as she planned the party and prepared for Christmas. The bash was on the 24th, the Friday before Christmas. Today was Thursday.

Lauren and Samantha had done all the last minute shopping and setting up all that day and had come home that night exhausted. Lauren only stopped by Samantha's place for a cup of tea. Samantha and her girlfriend, Cicely, were scheduled to spend the night alone together. Lauren didn't mind, she'd be fine.

Cicely had came in just as Lauren was getting her coat on. Cicely gave her a hug and a wink before searching for Samantha. Lauren let herself out and made her way to the car.

Lauren turned on the heat and started the engine. She drove home and walked tiredly up the stair to her apartment.

Her neighbor, a blond, Adonis of a man, was outside in the hall on the couch, reading a book. When her keys jingled, he looked up and smiled. He stood up and closed his book.

"Hi, um," he said, nervously, "I don't know if you know me ---"

"Your name's Matt, isn't it?" she interjected, opening her door.

"Yeah. Well, I was wondering if I could borrow an onion from you."

She invited him in. She put her coat on a chair, and walked to the kitchen, saying over her shoulder, "Other people are still living on this floor, you know. I hope you weren't waiting for me too long."

"Well, Jackson left for the holidays and so did the Russells. The ones left were you and Sid, but I didn't want to disturb him and his...Well, however's been screaming his name for the last hour and a half."

"At least someone's having a good holiday," Lauren replied, handing him an onion.

Matt looked confused. "Aren't you?"

"I've become very loathesome to all warm and fuzzy holidays. I live for Veteran's Day now," she stated, rolling her eyes.

Matt grinned. "Well, thank you for the onion. I didn't catch your name, though."

"Lauren Previns."

"Beautiful. Have a merry Christmas, Lauren, if I don't see you again later," Matt said, leaving and shutting the door behind him.

"Yeah, I hope to."

back to index
chapter twenty-six