chapter seventeen

Lauren found herself anxious for Nick's phone calls. Everytime her phone rang, her pulse would quicken and she'd pick it up with lightning speed.

Every night, Lauren and Nick went out and spent the evening together as friends. That's what they both said. Lauren sincerely meant it. She knew if they got back together, they would eventually get into another fight and her heart would be broken by Nick a second time.

That night, a cold one in fact, Lauren had agreed to spending the evening at Nick's house. When she arrived, she noticed that the huge fireplace had been lit and now spreaded a warm glow across the otherwise dark room. Nick had set out two wine glasses on his glass table, both filled halfway with a red wine.

Nick looked great. His blond hair was washed and combed nicely. He wore a comfortable sweater and a pair of baggy jeans. He wore his glasses again.

He had ordered in, claiming that he wasn't much of a cook. He told her the last attempt he made ended up in flames and he'd never seen Kevin's kitchen since. Lauren laughed and sympathesized, telling her own sad stories of meals gone wrong, while they ate their lo mein.

Nick had rented a few films. Nick cringed as he relived the horror of trying to find a chick flick. But Lauren picked the comedy movie anyway and Nick let out a sigh of relief.

Lauren and Nick sat on the couch, sipping their wine and laughing until their sides hurt. Lauren, at some point in the movie, had taken off her shoes and tucked her feet underneath her. She put her head on Nick's arm. He looped his arm around her and pulled her closer.

After the movie, Lauren picked up her shoes and stood up. She put down her glass and asked, "So did you move anything around after I left or is it all the same?"

"Still the same," Nick replied.

Lauren nodded and started wandering room to room, peeking in to get a quick glance. Nick followed closely behind her. Lauren ventured into his room and looked it over critically. Still the same before she had gone. His bed was still huge with its thousands of big, fluffy, white pillows at the head of it. His walk-in closet was still jam-packed with designer clothes. His nightstand was still there.

"You really didn't change anything?" she inquired, sitting on his bed and grabbing a pillow. "Cuz if I had been you, I'd have Martha Stewart herself redecorating, man."

Nick leaned against the doorframe and laughed. He shook his head. "Nah."

"I remember we used to have pillow fights here every night we were both home. Remember that?"

"You'd always lose and complain about it afterwards," he said, teasing her.

"Please...I was the one who beat the shit out of you and only stopped after you screamed uncle!"

"Dream on."

She threw him the pillow she was holding. "A rematch? Just for old times' sake?"

"You're on."

"You're going down, Carter!" She hurled a pillow at him followed closely by another.

Nick inched closer, blocking off pillows. He bent down to grab pillow, and when he got back up, he was hit directly in the face with a pillow.

"Lucky shot," Nick said. He finally got close enough and started hitting her with his pillow. Lauren scrabbled away from his arm range, regained her footing and fought back. They were both laughing like madmen. Nick gave her one final whack, making her fall on his bed.

Nick pinned her down and claimed victory. He pinned her arms down and hovered over her, a wide grin on his face.

"Got you," he proclaimed with great satisfaction.

"You were lucky," she replied, panting.

Nick shook his head, trying to catch his breath. He kept his eyes locked with hers. She licked her dry lips. That was when Nick noticed how close they were.

With one slight hesitation, he pressed his lips against hers. She didn't respond, she just lied there. Nick pulled up after she didn't move.

"What's wrong?" he inquired, puzzled.

She pushed him gently off her and sat up. Lauren shook her head. It was cycle, she knew it. If she kissed him back, she would've been right back there at the beginning again.

"Why didn't you kiss me back?"

"Because I can't be your girlfriend again," she replied. Her eyes were glued to the ground.

"Why?"

"It's gonna happen again. We're going to fight and I'm gonna leave and I'm not sure if I'll have enough strength to come back next time at all."

"Lauren, baby..."

"I'm sorry. If it worked out the first time we would've never have had this. It would've been something else. Destiny didn't want us together ---"

"That's bull shit!" Nick exclaimed. "It wasn't destiny's fault we broke up, it was our own damned faults. If we would've just talked about it and not be so damned stubborn, we wouldn't be here!"

"Doesn't matter. We're here now."

"We're here now. Is that all it's gonna be? We could be so much, Lauren. Think of it!"

"That's the thing, Nick, I don't want to think about it. What we once had is now dead. We shot it down months ago. Now we're moving on."

"Why won't you just try? How do you know that this time will be the same as before?"

Lauren only shook her head numbly, refusing to look up at him. Nick sank down to his knees in front of her. He put his hands on her hips.

"Just try with me. I can't guarantee that we won't fight, but we can talk it out and work through it. It'll only work if you meet halfway, though. Will you try?"

He looked up at her. She turned her head, so not to meet his eyes. She knew if she did she would have to agree. Those baby blues were so hard to disagree to. His hand guided her face to look at him.

"Lauren, I still love you," he said, barely above a whisper.

She reached down and kissed him. A tear fell down her face and she claimed, "I still love you too."

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chapter eighteen