Covert Operations
With the rise of the imposter Beltbuckle Productions merchandise being illegally exported out of the country, we felt a need to publish all of the smugglers we have apprehended. This is just a warning to deter anyone getting any bright ideas. WE WILL CATCH YOU AND IT IS A GUARANTEE THAT YOU WILL BE RICKED!! (if you don't know what being "Ricked" is, believe us it is not a pretty site)
Elian Gonzalez
All that you know about Elian is completly false! The truth to the situation is that Elian is the number one Cuban smuggler of BBP merchandise. We have been working in conjunction with the U.S. government for about a year now to catch this little bastard. Don't let his age and innocent looks fool you many Americans have died at his hands. His favorite way to kill is suffocation by a toilet plunger. Many of our best men were thrown off by this seemingly harmless weapon. On his last run we found him and slipped him some bad gummi
C.H.I.B.'s in their newest "Ass kicking gear" remove Elian a.k.a. Little Goober and his prostitute from their safehouse in Havanna.
bears but his super immune system flushed most of the poison out leaving him only disoriented. This made him fall off of his course and was unable to finish the journey to Cuba, and returned to his safe house in Havanna. Luckily we were able to move quickly and get him into our custody before he finished the tunnel to Cuba. Currently he have him held in the back room of Suzy's where he is Ricked everyweekend until he gives us the location of all the fake merchandise.
Janet Reno is really Shannon in disguise
Celine Dion
Not to anyone's surprise the mojority of our merchandise is smuggled into Canada and then distributed throughout the world. Celine was one of the top smugglers of our goods. With her world wide popularity she spreaded her anti-Beltbuckle Productions propaganda and sold our merchandise on many black markets to gain a financial base to launch her career. In fact the only reason she had that stupid Titanic song was because a deal between her and James Cameron that dealt a mighty blow to BBP. She gave him the script to our biggest project and he slightly changed it and made Titanic. On her part she got to sing that horrid song during it (the song alone almost destroyed the movie industry) In our version the ship was captained by a schizophrenic peguin named Captain Blinky, and instead of Leonardo and Kate it was a wallaby named Luey and water
This picture was took after the Grammy's where she mocked us constantly. Well who's laughing now bitch!! Haha
buffalo named Skip. But because of her sabotage we had to cancel the filming and let them take all the credit. Recently our C.H.I.B. force caught her off guard and after being Ricked for a measly ten minutes she caved in and signed a plea bargain with us giving us all of her connections and she retired from her singing career. (you thought it was a coincidence didn't you ...it was all us) Now she is living in her home country of Canada (we figured that was enough punishment) and we keep her under constant survellience to make sure she does not write any more songs.
We will continue to dig through our enormous amount of offenders and vote on the highest profile cases as they come up we will add them to this page so check back.