(Scene: A forest glade. An alakazam is standing by itself.)

Narrator: Hello and welcome to our special course of Alakazam spoon removal. We have with use, as a volunter, Mr. Earl T. Bridgewood of 3930 North Anglesboth. Mr. Bridgewood, would you step forward now?

(A man in a business suit steps out of the foliage. He nods to the alakazam and waves to the camera.)

Narrator: Today, Mr. Bridgewood would help us demostrate how to remove an alakazam's spoon from a person's hind quarters.

Mr. Bridgewood: Come again?

Narrator: Alakazam, if you would?

(In one swift motion, Alakazam reaches behind Mr. Bridgewood and makes a shoving movement. Mr. Bridgewood gives a start and lets out a small whimper.)

Narrator: As you can guess, one of Alakazam's spoons is now firmly placed in Mr. Bridgewood's nether regions. In such a situation, one's first reaction is to attack the alakazam and attempt to hurt it badly.

(Mr. Bridgewood curls his first and prepares to punch Alakazam.)

Narrator: But this is not an instinct you should follow. To do this would provoke the alakazam, who for some reason cannot figure out that you would not find his little gibe funny. To do so would be the same as standing infront of a tank and yelling "Bring it on, you pansies".

(Mr. Bridgewood stops in mid-punch and tries to retain his composure.)

Narrator: The better approach, odd as it may be, is to ask Alakazam to place it's other spoon along side it's brother.

(Mr. Bridgewood takes a deep breath, musters his dignity, and whispers something in Alakazam's ear. Alakazam nods happily, reaches behind Bridgewood with his other spoon, and makes a thrusting motion. Mr. Bridgewood gives a bigger whimper and bites his lip.)

Narrator: The second spoon will provide enough leverage for both spoons to be expelled through a release of the gastric gases.)

(There is a small squeak. Two spoons fall down from behing Mr. Bridgewood. Bridgewood gives a sigh of relief. Alakazam falls down laughing.)

Narrator: This will also amuse the alakazam to no end and gives you the chance to put it in a choke hold.

(Bridgewood grabs the alakazam in a choke hold and drags it off into the shrubery. There is the sounds of a beating taking place.)

Narrator: Next time: Legal loopholes and how they may be used to defend against overzealous alakazam trainers.

Fin