desimarie responded:
Thanks for sending me that wonderful essay. Your opinion was very well stated. When I read these forums before I reply I always check the bio on the individual presenting the situation. On this particular forum I realized that low self esteem is Hennesy`s main problem. For myself that explained the situation and even her handle: Hennessy. As Black Women for some odd reason we haven`t been taught alot about self esteem and self love. This could have something to do with the way we are represented in our music and on videos today. Whatever the case may be many of us have valued ourselves as to whether or not we have a man in our lives. Sadly in this we forget about ourselves outside of a man and what we can be worth on our own. That is why many of our women fall into teen pregnancy, and single motherhood. Not just because many Black men have fallen short of their responsibilities but, because Black women have not deemed ourselves worthy of demanding and holding out for a man that have qualities we deserve. The problem goes beyond the Black man acting like a thug. It extends to the women that allow that type of behavior to persist (and some that even think its cute). Hopefully Ms. Hennessy will use her brain and go on to get a degree and make a life for herself outside of any man so she can experience the importance of self worth in her personal life.
Jazzygermaine responded:
Apparently you didn`t read mine. I didn`t encourage her. The first thing I said to her was "How did he even get in that situation, Do you or him have a relationship with the Lord, also I stated to her that she was only 19 and needed to focus on her life, but near the end I also stated that the final decision was her`s. So, you act like this was some type of talk show going on, there was no time to get deeped into her situation....I am sure it was more than she was saying. However, I immediately advised her to MOVE ON. Just calm down, we are aware what`s going on in the Black society, so are you doing anything besides sending out emails reprimanding us. What are you doing. ?
katsmeow_38 responded:
hey u Mr. Thunder or whatever the name is. On this advice you gave yours and I gave mind so don`t try to tell me what i should have said so you reply that shit somewhere eles. Do u feel me. Mr educated.
hrw responded:
AMEN!!! Can`t argue with that one! :o)
Be Blessed
Harriet.
LYDIA2 responded:
I, too, lament my young brothers who get caught up. It is disheartening to realize that we never seem to learn from our mistakes and continue making the same, stupid decisions over and over and over. If it does not work for one, it is not going to work for you either. But we never seem to learn.
I would be willing to work with anyone who wanted to building something substantive in our community to save our Black men.
Lydia
blark responded:
First of all do you have the balls to say this surrounded by thugs. What I`ve notice about our community is we all talk but we don`t all act upon the good we should do. Most of the professional baclks the brothers like this come across don`t happen to live in their community but happen to be the cops that stop them black or white or the professional parole officer looking down his nose at someone he might not have had the opportunity to go to college as he did. I can tell you this I understand about the trap I understand it well because deep in my heart I`m still a thug but a good one and educated one. I`ve been there and have learned from my experiences. United we stand/ Divided we fall remember that. Well what you are seeing is the product of the division and we are falling but not completely out. Now having been in some of the brothers shoes especially not having had a job and a baby and a girl friend I see how easy it is to do the wrong thing but I never did. Unfortunately with freedom in America it has cost the black man something else, common sense. It`s funny I run across so called "professionals" every day and your scared of these kids with no fathers or mothers much like my self. Guess what, it shows cuz your scared to look them in the eye for fear that they will kill you. But try speaking some times try conversating and asking a brother how his day is. You might just change the world before you condemn a person for having a sagging pair of pants. Now my message to you brother, don`t for get another criminal we had amongst before he departed this world yep I`m talking about Malcolm X, so before we give up hope one of the brother with their pants down might be the next Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, Marcus Garvey etc. My main point is we can`t give up hope no matter what the present picture looks like. Now this situation with the girl is just that if you gonna be a "G" and do crime and wrong things then don`t cry when the sword you live by comes crashing down. Overall you are for most part a very intelligent brother, that sounds fed up but please keep in my mind that in order to defeat a nation you must first divide it. It is still time to win the war without bullets. We have lived to fight another day which is today so now we must get over this hump! We can do this together brother. P.s I once over heard some young brothers on the bus stop after coming from school talking about how they beat this other kid down and thought it was funny until I intervened and reminded that if this person had died then they would be held accountable for this and would possible lose their freedom for this, they listened to me. And they also agreed they where wrong. And felt remorse. We are going to have to take back the gauntlet and start challenging our community to stand up for what is right and integrity that`s the only what to improve our communities. It`s funny you refer to blacks with their pants hanging down but in some places in Michigan the whites are starting to commit the same crimes and do the same things. unfortunately nobody helps until the white youth has a problem in "America".
Teaj responded:
I hear what you`re saying but really, you were at the tender age of 18 once, and I`m sure no one could tell you that you weren`t in love and that the mate whom you`d chosen was anything less than boon, never mind something like: he will leave you with a litter of children and be gone Lord knows where, or in jail leaving you with double parental duty on tuppence.
The fact that he is unreachable now and in such a predicament is going to make their bond that much stronger...you heard it: absence makes the heart grow fonder! So, you try telling her about school and see if she can do anything but cry and schedule her next vist to her love`s new abode.
An education is essential in life but people go about it when they figure it out, not on your time, but on their own. Then again, there are so many ways of attaining knowledge, and trust me, if she pays attention, her current situation should teach her a thing or two about what is important in life, and how to get what you really want.
She`s probably a good girl who has intentions of going to school but is just in love with a BAD BOY! You know the story; it has been told time and again!
Above all, she is obviously reaching out and possibly for more than just sympathy because what better way to get help anonymously than online? What you have to say may strike a cord with her and that in itself might turn her around, if she is on the wrong path. That turnaround may not be instantaneous but it might happen yet. Your opinions may not be stated in vain after all.
Thanks for being so vocal!
T.