"A joke is a very serious thing." Winston Churchill
"Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened." Winston Churchill
"A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject." Winston Churchill
"I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals." Winston Churchill
"Although prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it be postponed." Winston Churchill
"My wife and I tried to breakfast together, but we had to stop or our marriage would have been wrecked." Winston Churchill
"I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter." Winston Churchill
"I like a man who grins when he fights." Winston Churchill
"The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries." Winston Churchill
"History will be kind to me for I intend to write it. From now on, ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put." Winston Churchill
"You can always count on Americans to do the right thing -- after they've tried everything else." Winston Churchill
"A communist is like a crocodile: when it opens its mouth you cannot tell whether it is trying to smile or preparing to eat you up." Winston Churchill
"Of course, we are all worms--but I like to think, at least, that I am a glowworm." Winston Churchill
"An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile--hoping it will eat him last." Winston Churchill
"The farther backward you can look, the farther forward you are likely to see." Winston Churchill
"The greatest lesson in life is to know that even fools are right sometimes." Winston Churchill
"There are a terrible lot of lies going about the world, and the worst of it is that half of them are true." Winston Churchill
"Life is too short to drink bad wine." Winston Churchill
If a man is in the forest and no one is around, not his mother, sister, girlfriend or wife, and he says something....is he still wrong?
- Trail needs to be reconstructed.Please avoid building trails that go uphill.
- Too many bugs and leaches and spiders and spider webs.  Please spray the wilderness to rid the area of these pests.
- Please pave the trails so they can be plowed of snow during the winter.
- Chairlifts need to be in some places so that we can get to wonderful views without having to hike to them.
- The coyotes made too much noise last night and kept me awake. Please eradicate these annoying animals.
- A small deer came into my camp and stole my jar of pickles. Is there a way I can get reimbursed?  Please call ___ ___ ____.
- Reflectors need to be placed on trees every 50 feet so people can hike at night with flashlights.
- Escalators would help on steep uphill sections.
- Need more signs to keep area pristine.
- A McDonalds would be nice at the trailhead.
- The places where trails do not exist are not well marked.
- I brought lots of sandwich makings, but forgot bread.  If you have extra bread, leave it in the yellow tent at V Lake.
- TOO  Many Rocks...
1. I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.
2. I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses.
3. I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration.
4. I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.
5. I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my obligations.
6. I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time given.
7. If at first I don't succeed, there is always next year.
8. I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
9. I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or write the first word, when I get around to it.
10. I will never put off tomorrow, what I can forget about forever.
The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time. - Nietzsche
What a strange illusion it is to suppose that beauty is goodness. - Tolstoy
The intelligent man finds almost everything ridiculous, the sensible man hardly anything. - Johanne von Goethe
You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty. - Sacha Guitry
I was going to buy a copy of "The Power of Positive Thinking", and then I thought ,"What the hell good would that do?" -Ronnie Shakes
Wise men talk because they have something to say. Fools talk because they have to say something. - Plato
Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative. - Oscar Wilde
Forgive me my nonsense as I also forgive the nonsense of those who think they talk sense. - Robert Frost
Ignorance of ignorance is the greatest ignorance. - Laurence J Peter
Don't talk to me about a man's being able to talk sense. Everyone can talk sense. Can he talk nonsense? - William Pitt the Elder
I use not only all the brains I have, but all I can borrow. - Woodrow Wilson
If con is the opossite of pro, is Congress the opposite of Progress.
There is one bill that needs vetoing in D.C.....  Bill Clinton.
Support Gun Control.  Learn to hit your intended target.
The solution to divorce ... don't get married.
If at first you don't succeed, give up and let someone more experienced do it.
If at first you don't succeed, you're a failure and a disgrace to humanity.
If at first you don't succeed, destory all evidence that you even tried.
If at first you don't succeed, plan someone else.
If at first you don't succeed, read the manual.
Ask not what your country can do for you, but what your country has done for you.
Don't steal.  The Govt. hates competition.
Outlaw laws and soon all laws will be outlaws.
Is outlaw the opposite of inlaw?
If your spouse divorces you, do your inlaws become your outlaws?
--Every teen-ager should get a high school education -- even if they already know everything
--Some things that cost $5 to buy several years ago now costs $10 just to repair
--A synonym is a word you use in place of one you can't spell
--The outcome of the income depends on the outgo for the upkeep
--Here's a new invention -- a solar-powered clothes dryer.  It's called a clothes line
--Leaders go down in history -- some farther down than others
--Any man who laughs at women's clothes has never paid the bill for them
--Four-word story of failure:  Hired, tired, mired, fired
--For every judge operating in an official capacity, there are 100 who are self-appointed
--It is when we forget ourselves that we do things that are most likely to be remembered
--The more you know, the more you know you ought to know
--The argument you just won with your spouse isn't over yet
--The law of gravitation is the only law that everybody observes
One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.
In Rome, the emperor sat in a special part of the Coliseum called the Caesarian Section.
I went to the Missing Persons Bureau. No one was there.
George Washington's brother was the Uncle of Our Country.
Irish diplomacy: the ability to tell a man to go to Hell in such a way that he looks forward to the trip!
A bore is someone who persists in holding his own views after we have enlightened him with ours.
Cloud nine gets all the publicity, but cloud eight is cheaper, less crowded, and has a better view.
Don't be humble, you are not that great. Golda Meir
God will pardon me. It's his business. Heinrich Heine
I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I had lost exactly two weeks. Joe E. Lewis
The moon is moving away at a tiny, although measurable distance from the earth every year. Do the math and you will clearly see that 85 million years ago it was orbiting the earth at a distance of about 35 feet from the earth's surface. This would explain the death of the dinosaurs; the tallest ones, anyway.
I was gonna go to Procrastinators Anonymous, but they keep delaying having a meeting.
Then I wanted to try Paranoids Anonymous, but they wouldn't tell me where the meetings were.
So I went to Ranters Anonymous, but i couldn't get a word in edgewise.
I went to Control Freaks Anonymous, but they wouldn't let me in the room.
I went to Blacks & Whites together, but they said I was too gray.
I went to Anonymous Anonymous, but they wanted to know my name.
Pierre and Marie Curie were radiating enthusiasm.
Einstein thought it would be relatively easy to attend.
Volta was electrified and Archimedes, buoyant at the thought.