| Page 5 |
| 'NUMEROUS THOUGHTS' |
| "GOD or DEVIL? |
| In all my years as an active alcoholic, living my life in misery, I blamed God for all my troubles. I hated God with all my heart. I exercised rage toward God. When really the fact was, the devil was laughing at me. What I discovered to begin recovery, was that my God was there to keep me alive. It was the devil and alcohol fused together that made my life miserable. What I was to find, that there is a God of my understanding. A loving God. An understanding God. A God to keep me sober and sane to the very end of my living. And then to keep me in serenity for all eternity. Bingocliff 6-18-05 |
| "A THANKSGIVING DAY" |
| Never did I leave 'The I Chamber.' It was a day of relaxation, with reading, the NFL, and the cooking of a great dinner. It was a Thanksgiving Day. And at night to have sat at the kitchen table along with two friends for feasting and a meeting of the minds; a meeting of three sober minds. I can not help but think of the rewards that have come to me as a result of my new way of living. To have become so positive with all aspects of life. Having freed my mind of the fears, resentments, negative points of view, false perfectionism, inner conflicts, boredom, jealousy, and that one desire to have a drink. I can only look forward to continue to be strengthen in my new way of life. This honestly has shown to me by AA and the fellowship that I have come to respect. Bingocliff 11-27-05 |
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| MY MENTALITY |
| I am amazed at the insanity that I lived for so many years as an active alcoholic. By drinking I would show you. By drinking I would hurt those close to me and oneself. This did never phase me as I continued to indulge to get even with God? Just as well have taken a hammer and pound my scull. Not as a wake up call, rather as to the damage I was doing by drinking my life away. My how sobriety has cleared up a foggy picture. I have much zest today, more than I ever had in twenty-eight years of drinking. It is great, and if honestly it is only a dream, then let me sleep forever. Bingocliff 3-9-06 |