| WELCOME |
| to the Eighth Edition |
| ALCOHOLIC REPRIEVE |
| "FANTASY WORLD" |
| The first 48 years of my life was envision in a fantasy world. It was a world of not growing up, and built on top with an alcoholic mind. As I progressed with age, so did my fantasy world enlarge. It became stronger as did the lies I spoke of that I came to believe in. My living motto for thirty years up to age forty-eight, was that tomorrow I will win a million dollars. It became tomorrow this; tomorrow that; poop on yesterday, and the hell with today. But, tomorrow never did materialize. Not until death faced me, did I awake to the reality of living, the real world beyond my fantasies. Did I want to die in misery? Or, did I want the ever-lasting peace and serenity when laid to rest. This was my choice. I then changed to the real world. Slowly, my fantasies with lying, deceit, dishonesty, cheating, etc., all started to dis-appear. I became healthier in accepting, understanding, believing in the works of a universal power. Having now three plus years of changing under my belt, I can honestly state my happiness, beliefs, and content-ment's with life materializing. I do feel each day like a million dollars without the money. Bingocliff 12/21/01 |
| Sitting on a park bench, my thoughts range out to the heavens above. A half moon and a cluster of twinkling stars are all that I can see, surrounded by a great mass of blackness of space. I imagine the mysterious power that exists outside of myself. Might not it be true that I am being controlled or influenced by a spiritual force? Another intelligence on a completely different level from the forces around me, which is in complete control? A turning point has now arrived in my life as I sit on this park bench staring out into the great unknown. I en-vision the beauty of living in this day and age, as I approach the age of fifty. I have been a total wreck in surviving this long. My life has been but a trip through hell as I grasped the will to rule. Why should I be so stubborn and not let go? A linkage (if so) with a power greater than I, and the coolness of the fresh air encircling me now keeps my spirits high. Having survived this long, I truly give credit to the great and mysterious power of the universe. Working a part time job, I make enough money to pay rent and utilities for a small apartment. I have cable hookup and own a telephone. Having few friends and no family to speak of, I spend my free time sitting in my re-cliner reading books from the library located two blocks from my apartment. I take cilostazol tabs as I have difficulty walking due to the bad circulation of the arteries in my legs. My body aches from osteoarthritis, that worsens as I grow older. I had to get professional help in treatment of depression and alcoholism. For my high cholesterol I take Niacin 500Mg tabs each day. Did I not do a poor job of growing up? Is it not because I was playing God all those years, controlling my will? The truth is that I now realize that I am not the God that I once thought I was. It is fitting that I sit here on this park bench looking out in wonder of it all. That the msterious power, or, whatever is out there beyond the great unknown that we all call space, has complete control of my every move as the clock ticks onward in time. Switching my eyes from above, I glance down to the ground and notice a five dollar bill at my feet. Where did this five dollar bill come from? I am certain that it was not here when I sat on this park bench. Reaching down, I pick it up and stare at each side. It is real. I stuff the bill into my pants' pocket, delighted at having chosen this park bench to sit on. Did I actually choose? Or, was I not lead here to sit at this park bench amongst many by the mysterious power? By the shining light of a street lamp, I look at a nearby willow tree and observe that the small leaves high up on the branches are stationary. There is no breeze to have blown the bill to my feet. Is it not likely that the mysterious power of the unknown has had something to do with this five dollar bill that I found at my feet? I now do believe that the mysterious power was responsible for my selection of the park bench, where I sat down to rest my weary legs from the stress of walking four city blocks. |
| "Mysterious Power" |
| To think further into the matter, I also believe that the mysterious power had some-thing to do with getting me out of my recliner back in my room, to take this here walk. Cunning as it may seem, I am truly glad that there is a mysterious power to control my every move throughout each beautiful moment of this day and age. Having turned my life over to one of peace and serenity, as I near the final days of existence. I can only vision that this is a good sign, as I rise to my feet to resume my walk back to my apartment five dollars richer. Bingocliff 12/24/99 |
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