We all have seen those ads:

"Hot, hung GWM stud, 9x6" tool seeks..."

and yet, when the pants come off, we are left wondering where that "hot hung stud" might have left 2 of his 9 inches. It is not uncommon for a man to "guesstimate" the size of his penis now and again. At other times, some men will measure and think, "That CAN'T be accurate! Maybe I've measured wrong!" and they seek a starting point that will give them the length they desire ~ a size that sounds more "manly". Still, others will flat out embellish their penis size.

Unfortunately, penis-size inflationary tactics only serve to undermine the true dimensions of the figures. For example, when one man calls his 6-inch cock an 8-incher, he might fool his partner into believing that his average size dick is actually a horsecock. The next guy, an honest man with a true and appreciable 7", might not be considered "big enough" by the size queen who has been duped into believing 6 inches is supposed to be 8. Moral bankruptcy and the fall of civilization are surely around the corner... Remember, you can put a Cadillac emblem on a VW, but the car is still going to be a VW. Saying your dick is bigger doesn't make it so.

Oh, and let no man tell you he doesn't know the size of his penis... every man has measured his at least once in his life, even if inaccurately. If he hasn't, he's probably straight.

You wouldn't build a house based on whether or not your lumber "looked" like it was eight feet long or so, so why use such improper techniques when assigning a dimension to your most personal and coveted attribute? In order to help eliminate the confusion and hurt feelings caused by this misrepresentation, we present to you a do-it-yourself guide for measuring your penis correctly.

First, take your penis and begin stroking it gently until it becomes fully hard. You may wish to use any of the optional materials available to you to help you get to this stage.

Once you have achieved full hardness, take the ruler in one hand, and place the end marked "0" (or the end with the lowest number) against the point where the top of your penis makes a conjunction with your torso. (Point "A", Fig. A & B) Do not press the ruler into your torso. Simply lay it gently along the top of your penis.

Using your pencil, carefully mark on the ruler where the tip of your penis (the part that goes in first) lines up with the fractional INCH markings (not metric) on the ruler. (Point "B", Figs. A & B). Count to the nearest 1/4", and then write this measurement down on the piece of paper.

If your penis curves in any direction, it would be advisable to use a tape measure instead of a ruler so it may easily follow the curve of your penis and give you a more accurate measure.
(Fig. B)

Notice how the ending point (B) bears no relationship to the actual "usable" portion of the penis? Also notice the start point (A) is not on the penis at all.

In this view from behind, notice how the starting and ending points of the measure again give a false impression of the usable portion of the penis itself.

The penis is never supposed to be measured to the geographic center of the ass pucker.

This round and about method may add an impression of length to your measurement, however it, too, is incorrect. It is also more difficult and cumbersome to achieve.

Measuring from the tip to the balls is a very popular method of penis measurement. Notice how much extra length is achieved by measuring to point B instead of point True B. Unfortunately, this method is also incorrect, as the balls account for no usable length of the penis itself. This type of measurement should also be avoided.

Some penises have extra adornments that look nice but are really not to be included in the measurement. Foreskin is one such adornment. Foreskin does not actually add to the reportable length of the erect penis (even when stretched) as it often slides back off the head and down the shaft anyway.
Go ahead... measure your foreskin... just don't add that figure to your penis length.

Hot as they are, erotic piercings are non-natural adornments. And while they add to the overall visual dynamics of the pierced penis, again they should not be included in the measure.

Again, take your penis and begin stroking it gently until it becomes fully hard. You may wish to use any of the optional materials available to you to help you get to this stage as before. Once full hardness is achieved, take the measuring tape and wrap it around your penis. Start with the end marked "0" (or the end with the Lowest number), and holding that end to your penis somewhere in the middle of the shaft, wrap the tape around until it meets again. At this very point (see arrows) you note the measurement and write it down as before.

If you are using a string, repeat the above process, instead wrapping the string around and marking it with either the pencil or the tailor's chalk where it crosses itself. Then remove the string and measure the distance between the pencil marks.

If you have what is often called a "mushroom head" type penis, you can repeat the same procedure to accurately measure the circumference of your mushroom head. Some men find this statistic exciting, but it's most impressive when used in conjunction with the measurement of the shaft for comparison's sake.

(Also called the "Orbital Path" Measurement)
When measuring around your penis, the idea is to measure the shaft of the penis itself, not the aura of the shaft of the penis. The aura has no physical properties and is therefore invalid in this assessment.

The Classic California Wrap, usually used by those not wishing to cut their pieces of recycled string into tiny bits, is again inaccurate. Though it does give an impressive register of penis girth, it is another type of false reading and should never be employed.

"8-Plus Club" member E8doughnts shows us proof with a tape measure that he qualifies for such an exclusive club.

"Beer Cans" gallery member Jbarnes uses a tailor's tape to measure around his thick six inch shaft.