We all have seen those ads:

"Hot, hung GWM stud, 9x6" tool seeks..."


and yet, when the pants come off, we are left wondering where that "hot hung stud" might have left 2 of those 9 inches. It is not uncommon for a man to "guesstimate" the size of his penis now and again. At other times, some men will measure and think, "That CAN'T be accurate! Maybe I've measured inaccurately!" and they seek a starting point that will give them the length they desire ~ something that sounds more "manly". And still others will flat out embellish their penis size.

Unfortunately, penis-size inflationary tactics only water down the true value of the figures, so when one man calls his 6-inch cock an 8-incher, the honest man with a true and appreciable 7" is left feeling like the "also ran" next to the liar with the 6" penis who only claims to have 8. Oh, and let no man tell you he just doesn't know the size of his penis... every man has measured his at least once in his life, even if inaccurately.

You wouldn't build a house based on whether or not your lumber "looked" like it was eight feet long or so, so why use such improper techniques when assigning a dimension to your most personal and coveted attribute? In order to help eliminate the confusion and hurt feelings caused by this unintentional misrepresentation, we present to you a do-it-yourself guide for measuring your penis correctly.


TOOLS YOU WILL NEED:

1) A Ruler or a Tape Measure, American Standard
2) Your Penis (or the penis of another)
3) Time
4) Paper & Pencil

OPTIONAL MATERIALS



1) Lubricant (sexual ~ your choice)
2) An X-Rated Video & playback equipment
3) A Dirty Magazine or sexually stimulating photos
4) An Assistant (not necessary, but helpful)

INSTRUCTIONS

First, take your penis and begin stroking it gently until it becomes fully hard. You may wish to use any of the optional materials available to you to help you get to this stage.
Once you have achieved full hardness, take the ruler in one hand, and place the end marked "0" against the point where the top of your penis makes a conjunction with your torso. (Point "A", Fig. A & B) Do not press the ruler into your torso. Simply lay it gently along the top of your penis.


Using your pencil, carefully mark on the ruler where the tip of your penis (the part that goes in first) lines up with the fractional INCH markings (not metric) on the ruler. (Point "B", Figs. A & B). Count to the nearest 1/4", and then write this measurement down on the piece of paper.





If your penis curves in any direction, it would be advisable to use a tape measure instead of a ruler so it may follow the curve and give you an accurate measure. (Fig. B)




INCORRECT METHODS OF PENIS MEASUREMENT

Honey, God only gave you so much!
The following photos are examples of incorrect measurement of the penis, and should not be used to determine penis length.



Figure 1: Incorrect
Notice how the starting point bears no relationship to the actual "usable" portion of the penis? Also notice the end point is not on the penis at all.
This is where many inaccurate penis measurements originate.
Remember, only measure the part of your penis that others can appreciate & enjoy.




Figure 2: Incorrect
Again, the starting and ending points of the measure bear no relationship to the usable penis itself.










Figure 3: Incorrect
This round and about method may add an impression of length to your measurement, however it, too, is incorrect. It is also more difficult and cumbersome to achieve.










Figure 4: Incorrect
Measuring from the balls is a very popular method of penis measurement. Notice how much extra length is achieved by measuring from point A instead of point True A. Unfortunately, this method is also incorrect, as the balls account for no usable length of the penis itself. This type of measurement should also be avoided.





MEASURING AROUND YOUR PENIS ACCURATELY

The only stiff tool in this exercise
should be your dick


Tools you will need:

Your Penis (or the penis of another)
Measuring Tape (tailor's) or
Piece of string at least 7" long
Pencil or tailor's chalk
Piece of writing paper
Scissors

Optional Materials:

Same as above.

INSTRUCTIONS

Again, take your penis and begin stroking it gently until it becomes fully hard. You may wish to use any of the optional materials available to you to help you get to this stage as before. Once full hardness is achieved, take the measuring tape and wrap it around your penis. Start with the end marked "0" (or the end with the Lowest number), and holding that end to your penis somewhere in the middle of the shaft, wrap the tape around until it meets again. At this very point (see arrows) you note the measurement and write it down as before.

If you are using a string, repeat the above process, instead wrapping the string around and marking it with either the pencil or the tailor's chalk where it crosses itself. Then remove the string and measure the distance between the pencil marks.

If you have what is often called a "mushroom head" type penis, you can repeat the same procedure to accurately measure the circumference of your mushroom head. This is a very impressive measurement to some men, but only when used in conjunction with the measurement of the shaft for comparison's sake.

INCORRECT METHODS

The following photos are examples of incorrect measurement of the circumference of the penis, and should not be used to determine penis girth.

FIGURE 1: INCORRECT
When measuring around your penis, the idea is to measure the shaft of the penis itself, not the aura of the shaft of the penis. The aura has no physical properties and is therefore invalid in this assessment.





FIGURE 2: INCORRECT
The Classic One-and-one-half wrap, usually used by those not wishing to cut pieces of string into tiny bits, is again inaccurate. Though it does give an impressive register of penis girth, it again is inaccurate and should not be employed.







Now that you have the basics of penis measuring "under your belt", have at it. And don't worry if your measurements don't give you a dimension you think sounds studly... let your partners be surprised when they find out that it seems bigger than they imagined it would be!



Real men don't lie about their dick size... they perfect their technique using the dick they have and impress their
partners with great sex.


I would like to thank AOL users Drv9hard, BareSF and Beefyboy69 for being our models. Please note: Their inclusion in this demonstration DOES NOT imply they have mis-measured their penises in any way.



I now know my A.P.S. (Accurate Penis Size)
Take Me Back To Jack

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