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The date? 31st May 2005. The occasion? Catherine "Don't Call Me Eileen" Bartlett coming of age. Let's be honest. There was only ever one way it was going to be celebrated--with booze, boobs, vibrators and a lot of noise. This event was also notable in that it was the first time Kealy had ever come out Into Town proper. Suffice to say, it's not something she'll be doing every weekend, because she is now absofuckinglutely stone deaf...
 Things started off sedately enough at the Royal William... The birthday girl herself, probably... slightly... pissed by this point "And so there I was: three in the morning, in the middle of Glasgow, dressed in a tiara and lederhosen, handcuffed to a llama wearing a blue hat..." Ollie, glamorously accessorised, finds entertainment The attack is vicious and unexpected... Apparently, in some cultures this is considered 'pretty'... tubercular drag queen is more like it Skep is the next to suffer No one is safe! Ollie 'reluctantly' submits to this abuse You can also find this picture pinned up in dubious phoneboxes around the country... Alex, all dressed up for Cubes later that night... Despite appearances, I have not in fact just sneezed and am examining the results... trying to get the lipstick off, dammit!
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