MY EXPERIENCE OF JESUS CHRIST
I praise God for giving me this opportunity to write about my personal experience of Lord Jesus Christ. I was born in 1979 at Rishikesh (Uttranchal) on the bank of river Ganga (Ganges) and was brought-up in Faridabad (Haryana). I have been knowing to pray to Jesus from 1989 when my father was very seriously ill and was in ICU of Faridabad ESI hospital for about a month due to chest infection. One aunty in our neighborhood where my mother used to work told her that praying to Jesus makes a difference. That time my mother taught us to pray to God in the name of Jesus. However, we did not know how to pronounce the word Jesus because we had heard it for the first time. So we would pray, “Jai Jises!” I opened my life for God from that time itself, knowing not much, except to pray to Jesus in the morning and in the evening before going to bed. We prayed regularly, and my father got recovered from his illness within a month. I have been a special child of God because He has given me a body with some elements of deformity. The kind of deformities that I have is called multiple-exostosis at all joints. Nothing of it really hurts, neither cause much of discomfort, as it has been from my childhood, from age of one year itself. I praise God for my body, because it was due to infirmities that I came closer to Him. Before joining Indian Institute of Technology, Delhi, I was asked to get medical examination done at AIIMS (All India Institute of Medical Sciences), New Delhi, and that time, in August 1998, doctors at Neurology Centre said that there is a critical problem with C1 part of my spinal cord, and problem was diagnosed as "cervical myalopathy". One of the leading surgeons in Neurology Department was Dr. Anupam Jindal, a great Neurosurgeon, who was in-charge of my case. The Doctors told me that there will be a major surgery, the result of which might be uncertain. After surgery, you might awake with all your senses alright or might end up into being in the bed for the rest of your life due to paralysis. If you don't get the surgery done, then also the same problem may happen in future, and at that time we will not be able to do anything…
I have been almost perfectly normal in every aspect of my life and always lived an independent life, and tried my best never to be a burden on my family in any regard, especially financially. Even the thought of being on the bed for the rest of my life was completely unimaginable. Although not willing much, I surrendered to the decision of the doctors. Before going to the operation theatre on Aug 18, 1998 morning, my father was walking with me to operation theatre, I being on a stretcher after taking an anaesthesia tablet. I don't know something happened to me, and I felt overwhelmed in my heart. My mother was on her way to AIIMS from Faridabad and was caught in traffic jam. I was missing her also very much. The result was uncertain and still I was going ahead with surgery. Finally, I could not resist the revolting tears of my eyes and they started flowing. I felt very much sweating as well probably due to that anaesthia tablet, and felt like going into trance. Before closing my eyes finally, whatever little I had read from Bible by that time, I told to my father that God says in the Bible, "If My people would have but listened to Me, if they would have walked in My ways... I would have fed them with the finest of wheat, and with the honey from the rock, I would have satisfied them." (Psalm 81). No one expects honey from the rock but when trust in Him, He is able to satisfy us with honey from the rock. I experienced His love when I committed my mind, spirit, body and soul to Him that moment as I closed my eyes that morning, while my father still standing by my side. I tasted God’s honey from the rock when I came out from the operation theatre same day after 8 hours. The nurse told me, “Move your left leg.” I moved it up. Then she asked me to do the same for my right leg, left hand and right hand. I was able to move them all. The operation was successful. Then called my parents and the doctor also moved in. He asked how was I feeling and I said that I was feeling very light, as if some burden (weight) had been taken away from me. The tears again started flowing when I saw my parent. I felt so much overwhelmed when I saw how God was so gracious to me. I committed my life to Jesus completely the same year in 1998 when one of my Christian friends, and my best friend of all times, asked me whether I would follow Jesus or the world. I was little disturbed by that question but I finally chose to follow Jesus the same night. From that time onwards I have been walking everyday with Jesus. I don't want to get away from Him. In my personal homepage of IIT website which is no more now, there was a song titled: "Like a bird that flies..." That song is my testimony song, the song which has been true in my life. Whenever I get away or try to get away from Jesus, it is only by His grace (undeserving favour on me) that I still abide in Him. My calling I see in the verse where Jesus said that I have not chosen Him but Jesus has chosen me. I have just allowed Him in my life with a sincere and open heart.
"I am weak but Thou are strong,
Jesus keep me from all wrong,
I'll be satisfied as long,
as I walk, let me walk,
close with Thee
Just a closer walk with Thee,
grant it Jesus 'tis my plea,
Walking daily close with Thee,
let it be, dear Lord, let it be..."
After I accepted Jesus in 1998, there had been series of problems in my life, some of which still cling to me. In June 2002, when I was going through probably a most depressing period in my life that I can recall thus far, I wrote this paragraph to a friend. I am quoting that text here. In the last two months, in your absence, I spent lot of time knowing God and His love, His strength and His joy. It was a time of healing, time of peace, time of leaning on Him, time to look to His face, time to realize that I can do nothing without Him and also to realize that I can do all things through Him who gives me strength. More than anything else, I learned to smile. And smiled not because there was anything visible in my life for which I could smile, but smiled just because it was and it is the will of the Father concerning me in Christ Jesus. And as I allowed Jesus to live His life more and more through me, I got the things I have been longing for: the joy of God being in my life. It was in summer 2000 when I decided I will not smile, and I said I will not be happy. I said that there was nothing in life to be happy about because everything went on the side I had never imagined. I questioned everything in my life - and I said I will not be happy till the happiness comes on my way. The days, months and years passed, but the happiness never came in life except the hope that my life is in the hands of the One who is able to keep what is committed to Him. And struggling with everything in my life, still "I kept the faith", I chose to believe that God is in control, and absolutely nothing happens without His knowledge and permission. I said, Lord, You know that I love you. The knowledge that Jesus loves me was, and still is, the only purpose of my living and I live because I have not chosen Jesus but Jesus has chosen me and has ordained me. Thus far I had lived and am living by faith - not by sight, not by fears but by hope. I knew that everyone or everything may forsake me sometime or the other, but Jesus will always receive me. And He did it just as He had promised. When I remember how unfaithful I have been to Him, I cannot stop my tears. He loved me as I was, whether faithful or unfaithful. When I said I will follow Him, He loved me. And when I said I will not follow Him, then also He loved me. I cannot imagine how wide, how long, how vast and how deep is the love of God which is in Christ Jesus... just as I was, He loved me. And this is love: not that I loved Him first, but He loved me, and gave His Son for me as an atoning sacrifice for my sins. I don't deserve this amazing love – but because He loves me, I received His love. His love - the reason that I still live - endures forever, His mercies never end, they are new every morning. As I "reduced myself" more and more, He took hold of my life deeper and deeper, and gave me smile when nothing was to smile about, and my smile was no more a pretence, nor an outward expression, but was fruit of genuine inner joy and peace... and that was the time when I realized that "If anyone is free in Christ, then he is free indeed." First time I felt that yes, there is something different with Christ... I am free... Praise be to Jesus to whom belongs all glory, honour, praise and power now and forever. Amen.
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Before accepting Jesus, I had the psycho-life (life of mind), the soma-life (life of body), but I did not have Zoe (the life of Christ)... and this is the life which Jesus promised us when He said, "I am the way, the truth and the life." And when He said, "...I have come that they may have life and have it to the full." I today have that Zoe, the life of Christ, and I wish to share with you that this life is wonderful. Indeed, righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit is the kingdom of God where we live from the moment we invite Jesus in our heart and accept Him as our Saviour.
So this is the little story of my life as to why and how I believe in Jesus Christ.
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“My ears had heard of You but now my eyes have seen You..." (Job 42:5)