Rubber Sled
Rubber Sled
By Fear or Pop
Written by Ben Folds
(Brick playing at 2x's speed in backround)
(Door opens & closes, rattling a string of bells)
Ben(as old shop keeper): Can I help you son?
Customer: Yeah pops. I need something quick and somethin'-
Ben: Quick?
Customer: -and now, to get outta here.
Ben: Quick & now.
Customer: Like a bike or a motorcycle, or-
Ben: Bike..ain't got any bikes, ain't got any motorcycles
Customer: Well...something here, you gotta have
Ben: Well...
Customer: Behind all this junk around I-
Ben: JUNK!?
(Turns off music)
Ben: Let me tell you something about junk, son.
You see this shit around here? You think it's shit?
Well I think you're shit, little turd dropper.
I'll show you what I got here, I got something faster than a
damn bicycle for ya. I got- (audibly digs through "junk")
Customer: What the hell is that?
Ben: It's a (plays a few high strings off a piano) Rubber Sled!
Customer:A Rubber Sled?
Ben: Rubber Sled. (plays a few high strings off a piano) That's
right.
Customer: Is it fast?
Ben: Is it fast. Shit! That things faster than a three
peckered owl.
And you know what else?
Customer: What?
Ben: The best part?
Customer: What's the best part?
Ben: It's free! (laughs hysterically)
That's right take your Rubber Sled and ride on.
Ride on, my man.
Customer: Thanks for the sled, pops.
Ben: Awe, no problem. Come back
I wonder what that kid's runner from. What's he afraid of?
Lyrics