So You Wanna Be A Male Stripper...
I Mean...More Random Quotes
"( note: when I was 8 years old my parents took me to see Sesame Street Live. In the souvenir book, which my mom still has, there was a section I could fill in to write a letter to my favorite Sesame Street Charactor. I never sent it in. Here's what I wrote. Notice I'm using my original punctuation and spelling.) : Dear Big bird: I like you because your so cute and pretty. EveryBody likes you. I saw sesame street live and i loved it very much. You runned away. Dose guys forgot your brithday but they did'nt. I didn't forget."
Some random person - this had me rolling
"I'm not the one who has to relieve themselves in a box in the middle of the kitchen"
Liz's gr8test insult
"I can do things with one side of my face better than the other side"
Sarah
"I know Vanessa Feltz when I see her!"
Me
"I'm declaring war on you "
Amy
"I think I could balance without my toes"
Me
"I wouldn't mind being stabbed"
Louise
"and a mug and a mug mat and a bed and a door so you can get out and get water and a monkey bar so you can pretend to be tarzan now and again and a red flashy light so you can be amazed to up to 4 hours at the max and a hoover so that you can pretend to go flying or something on it.....or maybe clean ya room that would be more useful......"
Mark on buying birthday presents
"We always watch the neighbours on the toilet, its better when they have their lights on"
Louise (?!)
"Flash! Flash! I love you but we only have 14 hours to save the Earth!"
Queen, I think, also Lizz and Amy
"Stop laughing at my frigid relations,"
Amy to Lizz
"Stop laughing at my fridge installations,"
What lizz thought Amy said
"Becki, why is there a chip on the landing?"
Mom
"I'm having a fortified freak out!"
Liz
"I love blood and guts and gore,"
Franca
�� "OK, zis is the master plan..."
"Who can afford apples at 1/3 per lb?...When fish is procurable, I refuse to pay such fantastic prices as are asked!"
A weird 1940's woman
"Thats when the Berlin Wal got fallen over,"
Me on the end of the cold war in a moment of MADNESS
"You're the prince of Columbo and i'm the king of bergerac,"
Lizz and Amy (?)
"...and you go and all it is, is an elastic band held to the floor with staples and what you have to do is buy a lil paper man from them which costs 12.99 plus post & packaging but it aint gotta be sent any where so they just rip you off and then you rest him in it and boom he flys off and u dont even get him back cuz he lands in the pond to your amazement cuz he is made of paper and the ducks eat it which really are men in scuberdiving gear getting them back to sell them again for 12.99 plus packaging"
Mark on the latest ride at alton towers
"My arms are superior to yours,"
Amy
"She still was kicking, but after just a few days, she setteled down and was a wonderful milker. Hazle and Mary told me, she'd just have to get use to me milking her. She'd stand in the milk stand and eat her grain while I milked her, never giving me anymore trouble."
From sum random site owned by a person who collects goats...
"Jacket...Weasels,"
Amy and Lizz
"I want Russian coats, big thick ones,"
Franca
"Ooh yeah, save the dominoes!"
Amy
"Avast lads, its a manshe!"
Luke
"Hehehehe, and you can't eat snake on a Sunday"
Midori
"Beware of the stoats,"
Amy
"The boy so fat they had to name him twice...."
(Me) "I cant believe you just compared me to a vegetable"
(Luke) "Yeh well dont stew over it"
"Who's Dwight D. Eisenhower - it's not like he's famous or anything!"
Amy (she's a comedy genius, no?)
"Get ur ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie!"
Cartman
"Yes. No. War is bad."
Amy
"Yes. No. Maths is bad."
Lizz
"What would happen if you crossed a leprechaun with a penguin?"
Anon
"Donald Duck never wears pants, but when he gets out of the shower, he always ties a towel around his waist..."
Matthew Perry
"If a man is a fool, you don't train him out of being a fool by sending him to university. You merely turn him into a trained fool, ten times more dangerous."
Desmond Bagley.
"Say no to the drugs"
My Dad
"Enough butter is sold in the UK each year to spread over 4 billion slices of toast, butter 2 billion sandwiches or melt over 2.5 billion jacket potatoes. I like to think that I�m partly responsible for this"
Douglas from the Lurpak adverts
"Theres a rice krispie in my sock"
Jake
"When I was a kid I tied my chicken to a remote controlled car and drove it down the street, but it went out of bounds and the chicken hit a car bumper and died,"
Jake
"Poor chap, he doesnt know if his job's safe or not,"
Aunty May, said very loudly as a postman rode past
"Thats right - you settle down, I settled down and then my mom died,"
Aunty May on getting a boyfriend
NB. I love Aunty May, she is a lovely sweet old lady, worthy of a gr8t big hug and a T Award (for making a whoopin gr8t cuppa)
"Imagine having to choose from all them singers...hard aint it?"
Aunty May on Pop Idol
"I am going camping with science,"
Leanne (from her japanese writing paper)
"Spank the monkey, Spank the monkey,"
Anon (that means me)
"I just stabbed myself in the face with a fork,"
Jake
"I bet the pigs live"
Sarah (on the end of the universe)
"Ooh look at Mr Walsh and his big huge atlas of warfare"
Me
"i am very appalled at the thinness of the magazines i buy"
Haibo
"you can use them for confetti at a funeral"
Lizz (observing sum ripped up bus ticket bits)
"I'm not sad, i'm with it"
My mother listening to Enrique Inglesias
"Ogin"
Mark
"ive been on all day but no tin here"
Mark
"Clothing just gets in the way"
Luke
"besy westy weasg"
Jill
"Girls are easy"
Me
"When i think of worms, i think worms"
Helen
"How would you like someone with a great big tongue to come and lick the back of your neck?"
Mom
"1896 J. J. Thomson finds the electron"
Poster in the chemistry room
"Elephants just have a thing for me"
Sarah
"Theres only so many times you can watch a talking mechanical cat"
Liz
"Chechnian army... i thought this was a meat shop"
Me
*high pitched* "Vino Tinto"
Midori on a caffeine high
