Limericks
Mug Bug
There once was a very big bug
Who lived under the rug
He was found to be able
To climb onto the table
So I squashed him with my mug
Cave Dave
There once was a man called Dave
He lived in a cave
He liked the rocks
They matched his socks
But he died in a tidal wave :0(
Tom Hall
There once was a boy called Tom Hall
He Liked to play football
He went to score a goal
And hit his head off the pole
And Tom Hall was no more
Flo
Said the young hippopotamus, Flo,
Of her lumpy, lugubrious beau:
"When I'm near him I sigh;
He's a really fun guy,
And the hunkiest hippo I know."
Marty
There was a young fellow named Marty,
Who often behaved like a smarty.
He rolled up his pants
And shouted, "Let's dance!"
When he joined the Republican Party.
Pard
Said a drawling old Texan named Pard:
"All my neighbors must think I got fired.
I worked hard when I would,
But retired when I could;
Now I just stand around in the yard."
Venice Dennis
The autobiographer Dennis
Stepped out through a doorway in Venice
Without taking a look,
Which wrote, for his book
About Dennis, a watery finis.
Little Old Purity
Said a little old lady named Purity,
Who had bet on a maiden futurity,
"No, I won't have to borrow,
For the check comes tomorrow;
Thank heavens for Social Security!"
Not keen kathleen
For a student whose name is Kathleen,
With a mind that's not overly keen,
Graduation is sure,
As she's hardly demure
And has often been seen with the Dean.
Hillbilly Moon
A simple hillbilly named Moon
Had trouble achieving a tune.
Though he waved it around
He could not make a sound,
While practicing playing the spoon.
Sleepy Lucky
A sleepy old fellow named Lucky,
While filling a tub in Kentucky,
Dozed off as the water
Grew hotter and hotter,
And melted his rubber duckie.
Mountbatten
In Naples a man named Mountbatten
Had purchased some porkers to fatten.
When he "Soo-wee'd" the swine
Only one came to dine,
For the other ones only spoke Latin.
