Creative Comebacks 2
-Yet another idiot with diorrhoea of the mouth and
constipation of the ideas.
-Hmmm, looks like someone forgot to pay their brain
bill.
-Do you know what would really make you look good?
Distance!
-Does your head whistle in a crosswind?
-You're a prime candidate for natural de-selection.
-Everyone has the right to be ugly, but you're just
abusing the privilege...
-He's so fat, it's easier to jump over him than to go
around.
-You certainly fell out of the ugly tree, and it looks
like you hit every branch on the way down.
-She's so ugly, she could eat a watermelon through a
picket fence.
-Don't you need a licence to be that ugly?
-That's what they mean by dark and handsome-when it's
dark, you're handsome.
-You have very striking features. How often have you
been struck?
-He's so fat, even his car's got stretch marks.
-Sorry, I was just trying to imagine you with a
personality...
-There's a bus in 10 minutes. Be under it.
-I refuse to enter a battle of wits with you-it's
against my morals to attack an unarmed person.
-I'm already visualising the duct tape over your
mouth...
-If ignorance is bliss, you must be happiest prson
alive.
-So, a thought crossed your mind did it? Must have
been a long and lonely journey.
-You possess an intellect rivalled only by garden
tools.
-Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your
unique point of veiw.
-If I throw a stick, will you leave?
-All foam, no beer...
-There's nothing wrong with you that couldn't be cured
with some prozac and a polo mallet.
-Q:So, do you want to come back to my place?
A:I don't know, will two people fit under a rock?
-Q:Your place or mine?
A:Both. You go to yours, I'll go to mine.
-What am I? Flypaper for freaks?
-Now I know why some animals eat their young.
-I'm not being rude, you're just insingnificant.
-People like you don't grow on trees, they swing from
them.
-Q:Is this seat empty?
A:No, but this one will be of you sit down.
-He got in the gene pool when the lifeguard wasn't
looking.
-I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate
yourself...
-Q:Haven't I seen you somewhere before?
A:Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.
-I'm sorry. You've obviuosly mistaken me for someone
who cares.
-Some people say you're two-faced, but I disagree. If
you had two faces, why would you choose that one?
-I'll try being nicer, if you try being smart...
-Being a bitch gives me more satisfaction than you do,
honey.
-How about never? Is never good for you?
-...and you have the IQ of a cornflake...
-You must be an experiment in artificial stupidity.
-I can see that you're flirting with intelligence, but
getting the cold shoulder in return.
-And which dwarf are you?
-Someday we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and
change the subject.
-I'm sorry honey, I just don't have the energy to face
tonight.
-Have you been chasing parked cars?
-She'a a few french fries short of a happy meal.
-Save your breath for your blow up girlfriend.
