What do you call a gigantic polar bear? Nothing, you just run away...
One time Santa lost his boxers, thats how he came to be Saint Knickerless!
What goes "ho ho ho
What goes "oh! oh! oh?" ? Santa walking backwards
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite
What is the fear of Christmas? Claustrobia
Ten Ways To Confuse Santa
1)Throw a surprise party for Santa when he comes down the chimney. Refuse to let him leave until the strippers arrive.
2)While he's in the house, find the sleigh and sit in it. As soon as he comes back and sees you, tell him that he shouldn't have missed that last payment, and take off.
3)Leave a plate filled with cookies and a glass of milk out, with a note that says, "For The Tooth Fairy. :)" Leave another plate out with half a stale cookie and a few drops of skim milk in a dirty glass with a note that says, "For Santa."
4)Take everything out of your house as if it's just been robbed. When Santa arrives, show up dressed like a policeman and say, "Well, well. They always return to the scene of the crime."
5)Leave out a copy of your Christmas list with last-minute changes and corrections.
6)While he's in the house, cover the top of the chimney with barbed wire.
7)Leave lots of hunting trophies and guns out where Santa's sure to see them. Go outside, yell, "Ooh! Look! A deer! And he's got a red nose!" and fire a gun.
8)Leave Santa a note, explaining that you've moved. Include a map with unclear and hard-to-read directions to your new house.
9)Set a bear trap at the bottom of the chimney. Wait for Santa to get caught in it, and then explain that you're sorry, but from a distance, he looked like a bear.
10)Paint "hoof-prints" all over your face and clothes. While he's in the house, go out on the roof. When he comes back up, act like you've been "trampled." Threaten to sue.
What do you have in December that you dont have in any other month? The letter D
What happened when the snowmans cat swallowed a ball of wool? She had mittens!
