## Purchasing Chemicals

### by Zwitterion

POPeye has made some EXCELLENT points about buying chemicals in the past. The rest of you say VERY little with the exception of references to OTC products. Here is what happens when ZWITTERION goes to buy chemicals: I'm a slight build white male. My hair is short and neat. I am a PRESENTABLE LOOKING MOTHERFUCKER. I restrain myself in conversation, UNLIKE my typing. I can BE that college chemistry student that WORKS BEST. DO NOT PRETEND TO BE IN BUSINESS IF YOU ARE A COLLEGE STUDENT!!! Purchase Order? Fuck that. A purchase order will get you one thing - LAUGHS! ZWITTERION uses the "college chemistry major" approach. ZWITTERION buys chemicals from LOCAL supply houses. These are GOOD PEOPLE. They like to be helpful. They don't want to think that the NICE BOY is trying to make DRUGS. No! They WANT to believe in you. So be BELIEVABLE. Here is the short list of ZWITTERION's rules to buying chemicals: Do not even ASK about restricted compounds. This includes methylamine, toluene, acetic anhydride, ephedrine, phosphorous etc... NEVER MENTION THESE THINGS! These two approaches are most believable, AND MOST COMPREHENSIVE in the range of chemicals you are likely to buy: college chemistry student - to pull this off you must know the university, the PROFESSORS (ZWITTERION has often been asked how a particular professor is or whether ZWITTERION has taken that professor for such-and-such class!) and WHAT THEY FUCK you are RESEARCHING. If you want to buy SODIUM AZIDE to make METHYLAMINE, then you ought to know what ELSE sodium azide is used for (as a source of nitrogen in air bags, FOR INSTANCE). If you stammer or stumble on any questions, they WILL remember you. They will also probably remember you ANYWAY, because they don't get too many young chemistry students doing their own thing, BUT THEY DO SEE THEIR SHARE OF YOUNG IDIOTS TRYING TO MAKE DRUGS! Remember, they want to BELIEVE in you. Help them. Photography - this is the GREATEST FUCKING HOBBY for chem-wannabes. You can justify the purchase of the following chemicals with this: Palladium and it's salts, glacial acetic acid, MERCURIC CHLORIDE, Sodium/Potassium Cyanide, Methanol, Hydrogen Peroxide, Hydrobromic Acid, Bromine, Iodine, Potassium Bromide and MUCH MUCH MORE. You need to play the part of DARKROOM AFFICIONADO. For instance, Palladium Bromide/Chloride is used to make Palladium Prints. Extremely beautiful warm toned photographs. Photographic Supply Houses are EXCELLENT places to get chemicals from in the first place, and while you are there, pick up a book on DARKROOM CHEMISTRY so you can be well prepared to explain that MERCURIC CHLORIDE is used as an INTENSIFIER and POTASSIUM BROMIDE is used as a BUFFERING AGENT for hydroquinone developers. Pay with CASH or CREDIT CARD. Yes you dumb fucker: CREDIT CARD! That is a NORMAL PERSON'S way of paying for goods and services. When you DON'T SEEM TO CARE that they know you're real name, they don't think you are DOING ANYTHING ILLEGAL! It makes so much fucking sense it's pathetic. I mean, how many "businesses" buy chemicals with a PURCHASE ORDER and CASH??? NONE! Sure, park your car where the license tag isn't visible, but if a place does not seem AMENABLE to your needs, LEAVE. Be INDIGNANT if they suggest you are making DRUGS. Do NOT SLINK AWAY LIKE A COMMON CRIMINAL. They WILL take note of everything at that point! If you went to go buy spray paint and the clerk insinuated you were going to go graffiti up a few buildings YOU WOULD LEAVE THAT SHIT RIGHT ON THE COUNTER, wouldn't you? Well, same thing here. As mentioned above, LOOK RESPECTABLE. Glasses are always a nice touch, as well as an AIR OF GEEKI- NESS. Throw some weighty words around, lots of you seem good at that ANYWAY, but DON'T try to SNOW THEM. You can tell when someone is throwing a snow job at you, what makes you think THEY CAN'T? Request MATERIAL SAFETY DATA SHEETS if they are not OFFERED (it is the law that they supply them, and if they don't you have a PSYCHOLOGICAL EDGE over them for that - they are now the LAWBREAKERS, not you). Good luck, and stay low.