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March 16, 2007


Biohazards edge Hermits in cliffhanger, 3-2
By Don Ganem

      In a seesaw battle that had both spectators on the edge of their seats, the Biohazards edged Herman’s Hermits 3-2 in the waning seconds of the game.

      The Hermits, as is their wont, came out hard and fast. This well-coached club had earlier in the week been detected actually practicing as a team, and it showed. (“I’m told they were doing something called ‘drills’,” said Biohazards captain Don Ganem, who vowed to familiarize himself with this concept after the game). Their superior élan was rewarded at 10:26 of the first period with a goal by Captain Herman Yee that followed a scramble for a loose puck in front of the Biohazards’ net.

      Undaunted, the Biohazards regrouped and the game soon settled into its pattern of excellent positional play on both sides, with many determined individual efforts and spectacular goaltending at both ends. Three individual breakaways by Victor Hui of the Hermits were turned aside by Biohazards goalie Michael Roeder; at the other end, goalie Tony Ricommini robbed the Biohazards’ Austin Herman and Doug Gould on similar breakaways. At 10:24 of the second period, Simon “le Magicien” Turcotte evened the score with an unassisted tally, and in the third period put the Biohazards ahead 2-1 on an assist from Doug Gould.

      Asked about what prompted his scoring outburst, the soft-spoken organic chemist from Quebec said he was offended by the poor fashion sense of the Hermits’ Jack Ryan, who chose to combine orange stockings with the team’s Kelly green jerseys. “Sacre bleu!”, Turcotte exclaimed. “Are we going to have to send him to Queer Eye for the Straight Guy?”

      The game’s intensity level, already high, continued to rise from there. Escalating pressure from Hermits Bert Gatchelian, Ben Lee and Greg Lum was met with determined defense by the Biohazards’ Pat Escaron and John Lewis; Escaron and Curtis Chen also contributed several fine offensive rushes. Even Ganem, the force of whose slap shot has been compared to that of the urinary stream of an 80 year old man with prostatic enlargement, managed several decent shots from the point, all of which were gloved smartly by Ricommini.

      The Hermits attacked relentlessly, and with 1:21 remaining on the clock, Ben Lee poked in a loose puck from the crease - and the game seemed headed for overtime. But the Biohazards responded by putting 4 forwards on the ice, including the fearsome Doug Gould, launching a furious offensive that resulted in a flurry of shots. With 21 seconds left, Craig Wallace took a feed from Gould and pounded home the winning goal.



  1 2 3 Final

Hermits

1 0 1 2

Biohazards

0 1 2 3


  Scoring Summary
  1st period
  Hermits Herman Yee 4
  2nd period
  Biohazards Simon Turcotte 1
  3rd period
  Biohazards Simon Turcotte 2 (D.Gould)
  Hermits Ben Lee 5
  Biohazards Sub Player (D.Gould)


  Goalies
  Hermits Tony Ricommini (2-1)
  Biohazards Sub Goalie



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