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And when Buddha smiled with me

A place that is 'far from the maddening crowd', the hustle and bustle of a daily-routined life, far away from noise and material world, a heaven in other words is how I would describe Tansen. Never in my wildest dreams had I ever thought I'd someday be blessed to be in Tansen, with Tansen.

Those tall hills forming the great walls around, a valley of green carpet of paddy fields and the town on one of the hills with beautiful pines is the beautiful Tansen. The eternal peace I got sitting beside Buddha, the feeling of being close to Mother Nature, the affection She had for me, the love of Sisters, the innocence of the people, the depth of Vinaju, and each and every moment I spent there is the amazing Tansen.
The pines and the jungle on the hill looked as though someone had worked for years to make them so beautiful. The trees have enough space in between, the ground covered with a cushion of grass, rarely any shrubs around; as though that is the only way it could have existed. I felt my beautiful Nepal.

Sometime back, I got an opportunity to be with Sisters. And that is from where it all began.
I helped Sister Felix and Sister Shiny with basic Nepali language. They had come all the way from South India to serve the people of Nepal. I didn’t take any fee. I simply wanted to share my knowledge. One hour a day, it would get tedious sometimes. I tried my best, and they did their best. We kept on moving and I finished up in 6-7 weeks the foundation for Nepali.
I too got to learn a lot – the simplicity and the depth in a Sister's life, and their home South India. I never knew South India is such a wonderful place. The best part of this deal was that I got very close to Sisters. Sister Shiny still prays for me.

They wanted to thank me, and on the birthday of Mother Mary they invited me to their place for breakfast. It was a typical South India dish. Then they presented me with a small gift. And that proved to be the best gift I ever received. They had seen I was no longer carrying the watch I used to have in my pocket. It was a very nice wristwatch.
I kept wondering how caring and loving these Sisters can be. I didn't know what was happening to me. I nearly meet an accident that day. Perhaps, it was so much for me to bear all that love. I wanted to cry a little.
Moreover, these Sisters invited me to attend the inauguration ceremony of a school. About one and a half years back their other friends had established a school in Tansen. I knew there could not be anything better than that, and I was only afraid if things turned to the other side of the river. However, the other part of my heart said I would be blessed.

Together we went to Tansen. There were few other Sisters with us. I was feeling nice because I was so much in their eyes. It was like a family trip to some strange place that I had only heard about.
The day we arrived Tansen, we went to see Buddha. I was trying to see Tansen. One of the Sisters was showing us the beautiful wild flowers. I couldn't resist from collecting samples. When we arrived Stupa (temple of Buddha), I felt as though that was my place; Buddha was looking down at me. I knew I had to be there alone with him.

The same day, after the inauguration ceremony of St. Capitanio School was over, I was feeling like going out. My feet were telling me that I needed a little hiking. I started at almost 6 in the evening. It would soon get dark, but now I recall that was a call from Mother Nature.
Instead of talking up the usual path, I straightaway climbed up the hill. There began my journey to the eternal world.

In half an hour or so, I was at the top. I knew the location of the Stupa, I could figure out the way. I was all by myself amidst the tall trees. It was getting darker, I was a little scared as well. But I knew I had to make it.
As I neared the Stupa, all of a sudden there was a strange noise from the pines. It was like the mew of a group of cats. I thought it could be little jackals, and I was very scared at that point. I was afraid they would attack me, and I had nothing to defend. For a moment I felt what the hell was I doing out there, away from my people and place. But I realized I was wrong.
A very strong feeling held me. I turned my back to the way I had come along. I don't know what that was, but I knew Mother Nature was trying to welcome me. Yes, I could really feel it. This made me see deeper into the woods. I couldn't see anything. After sometime I sensed some birds flapping their wings on the top of the pines. It was these birds that were making these strange signs to welcome me. My heart sank for a while. I was not scared at all, a strange feeling from within sprang out. I was feeling strong and at peace. I continued my journey to Stupa, which was some hundred meters further.

Buddha had seen it all. I looked at him, and he looked at me. I felt his hand and his body. I was talking to his eyes. And at some moment, he smiled back to me. His eyes and the smile told me all. I felt something that was so very soothing. I sat with him for sometime, looked at the beautiful hills again. There was this group of houses on the top of a distant hill. They were looking beautiful, they were all lighted. I didn't know it was so dark. The sky looked marvelous.

Before I returned, I hugged Buddha. He was cool.

Because it was too dark, I couldn't easily see the pathway. I felt Buddha following me, Mother Nature all around me, and into me. I had nothing so called 'fear'.

As I write this, I wonder how I made through it all. It was a retreat indeed.
I thank Mother Nature, Buddha, dearest Sisters, those beautiful hills, the wide spread paddy fields, those beautiful little children on stage, the beautiful town of Tansen, and the Tansen itself.

Thank you Buddha, I know you will always smile with me.
September 21, 2000