Barnaby “big beefcake bastard” Augustus Ninja Badass Smith

Comment On Self

The only reason they pick on me is because I’m big! It’s not like I try to be scary or pose a threat or anything WHY DO THEY WANT TO BEAT ME UP??? I’m just a friendly teddy bear. And better-looking than dave. That’s it, it’s the jealousy thing…

How long have you been in ventures

Ooh about 2 and a half years?

Comment on friend "Birchy"

Birchy is a slaaaaag who very often gets up to some mischief or other, that naughty little tyke.

How do you know Dave and Frog? Have you had dirty sex with them yet? if not why not?

Frog and Dave (in a very roundabout way which is not to be misunderstood) introduced me to sex, so we have a very intimate relationship indeed. Dave likes the taste of my leg, or at least finds it hard to resist biting in coward-like maneuvers when he KNOWS he’s lost – YOU’RE A PUSSY DAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How sexy You think you are

I think I’m moderately damn-sexy, yet still manage to pale the members of beauchief and jaguar into seeming non-existence with my amazing pulling skills…

How you rate the other ventures in our group

"Aaah Stay Away - Ugly - Fair - Minger - Alright - Not Bad - Minger - Sexy - Unique - Fucking Gorgeoous - Amazing - Spanking Gorgeous - God Like - God"

How many people have you slept with

More than none, and less than two

Single

I dunno what to put for this one Dave…..? No, no I mean no of course!