The Beat Fearsome Four Episode IV "JEEEEBUSSSSSSSS!"
by Mel

It was a beautiful day after a grueling BEAT practice. MEL and KGB are waiting outside the BEAT locker room for CP & HOOP so they can go grab some Molson. Unfortunately, it's obvious when a story starts with it was a beautiful day, something is just going to go wrong.

KGB: I spy will my little eye something that is...
::HOOP & CP exit the locker room::

MEL: Holy man! finally!

HOOP: (laughing) Sorry, we had a little mishap.

CP: Awwww, you promised you wouldn't tell.

MEL: Oh, now you just HAVE to spill.

HOOP: CP got her toe stuck in the shower drain!

KGB & MEL: AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

CP: It's not funny.
::KGB & MEL refrain from laughing::

KGB: . of course it's not. *snorts*

MEL: . yes it is...

KGB, MEL & HOOP: AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

CP: Fine. Laugh, whatever. When it happens to you, we'll see who's laughing then.

Suzie: Aw, whine whine whine. Ace, dude, I think that's all they do Yo.

HOOP: Hey, how did you get in here?? Security has specific orders . NO RAUNCHY PEOPLE!

Ace: It's all in the loincloth...(flaps in the wind)

MEL: . I have no comment on that one.

CP: You guys just can't stay away from us can you?

KGB: Ya. You must really enjoy those ass woopins we give you.

MEL: . I have no comment on that one either .

HOOP: I wonder if this one is going to be as easy as the last one.

Ace: Ugh . you're such a primadonna.

CP, KGB & MEL: Oooooo .

HOOP: [explicit][explicit][explicit] Come here you little [explicit]!?!!?!
::HOOPS begins to chase Ace, but MEL tries to stop her::

MEL: Don't do it HOO...
::before MEL can finish, HOOP runs right through her. MEL goes flying head over heels into some nearby chairs::

Tisha Venturini: ::dramatically::
Oh the Flashbacks, the flashbacks!

MEL: . ohhhh .

Suzie: HAHA!! LOOOSER ..

KGB: Did some one hear that... sounded like mooing .
::HOOP continues to run after ACE::

Sara Whalen: ::jumps out of the way::

Ace: ::running:: AAAAA!! JEEEEBUSS!!! SAVE ME JEBUS!!!

Jebus: ::in a booming voice::
San Diego sucks. You're on your own Spirit boy.

Ace: Crap... gadzukis!
::continues running away::

KGB: This is one beatin' I gotta see!!
::chases after the pair::

::Ace stops, realising he's run down a cul-de-sac hallway::

Ace: Loincloth . don't fail me now .
::turns to face the on rushing HOOP::

HOOP: *snarls*

KGB: ::gasping for air::
Get... him... I'm just... gunna... sit... for a... sec...

Tom Stone: ::comes out form his office hands on hips::
We're gunna have to work on that conditioning KGB .

KGB: ::passes out::

Tom Stone: . Uhhh . I didn't mean RIGHT now ...

Suzie: ::Catches up and notices KGB on the ground::
Ace!! Did you do that!??!
::looks confused::

Ace: Uh, Suz . little help??

::CP arrives with MEL staggering behind::

MEL: Did someone get the license plate on that truck? Oh look, it got KGB too!

Tom Stone: Everyone . STOP!
::everyone freezes staring at Tom, KGB sits up::

HOOP: This better be good .

Tom Stone: Shhhhh, I think someone's in my love nest... I mean my office ...

KGB: ::jumps to her feet::
This is a job for .
::trumpets sound:: .
the Fearsome Four!

::all members of the Fearsome four strike a pose::

A Voice from within the office: No it's mine goddamnit!!!

MEL: Uhhh, CP... go check it out .
::MEL hides behind CP::

::everyone crowds behind CP as she opens Tom's office door::

Another Voice: Oh sh*t! Someone's coming!
::the door swings open only to reveal Brandi Chestain and Mercy Akide fighting over Tom's play book::

CP: Pitiful... just pitiful.

Mercy Akide: Mercy will score two goals and Mercy will win!

Suzie: That's... that's...
::passes out::

Ace: ::looks at Suzie, then looks at Mercy, then passes out::

::Mrs. Chestain seizes the opportunity to rip off her shirt::

Brandi Chestain: I didn't do it!
::spins shirt over her head::
I didn't do it!
::Is about to jump out the window, but stops noticing a mirrior::
Why hello Miss thang!

Tom Stone: Stop her!

Brandi Chestain: Eeps!
::jumps out the window::

KGB: You better not land on my car!

Tom Stone: Shouldn't someone go after her?

MEL: No worries Tommy, she's harmless.

Tom Stone: Don't call me Tommy.

MEL: ::looks at the ground:: ... sorry.

KGB: Now, what are we going to do with I'm-a-big-fat-trash-talker?

MEL: Chinese Water Torture!!!! We could get all the Spirit's winning secrets!!

HOOPS, KGB, CP & Tom: BAWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

KGB: Winning...

HOOPS: . secrets???

CP: ::wiping tears of laughter away::
Oh MEL . You're too funny.

MEL: Ya... ha... ha... I uh, meant it to... be funny .

::Mercy, with play book in hand, sprints off through the door, knocking everyone over with her flailing arms::

HOOP: ::getting up:: Oh... NOW IT'S ON!

::everyone gets up and chases after Mercy through the corridors of Bobby Dodd, with the chase ending up on the field. Several Beat players stand and look on::

Amy Walsh: AAAAAAAAA GODZILLA AAAAAAAAAAAA Oh wait...my bad, eh?!. It's just Mercy.

Mercy Akide: ::Stops running turns and faces the now group of spectators. Begins flailing her arms even more and does a I've-gone-totally-banana's laugh::
Aahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Amy Walsh: AAAAAAAAA GODZILLA AAAAAAAAAAAA Oh wait I'm sorry. It's still just Merrcy...eh?!

KGB: How are we going to get the play book back?? She might take out an eye or something!

CP: I think we need help from a higher power on this one.

KGB: You mean...

CP: Yes... :gives Mel a nod:

MEL: ::clears throat::
JEEEEEEEEEEBUUUSSSSSSSSSSSS!

Jebus: ::in a booming voice::
I am Jebus! What is it my precious Beat children.

KGB: Oh Jebus, it's that horrible Mercy! She's a menace!

Jebus: ::in a booming voice::
Yes... I know Mercy and she ain't it. Don't worry, my child, I will take care of the Spiritless goon.
::holds up Beat stix and waves them in Mercy's direction::

::POOF! Mercy shrink's to 3 feet::

LITTLE MERCY: (helium voice) Oh no... Where's the yellow brick road? I must go back to munchkinville!

LAMB ::goes up to Mercy and looks down on her::
BOO!

LITTLE MERCY: ::Drops the play book and runs off::
AHHHHH

Lamb: Yess!

Tom Stone: Thank God!

Jebus: ::in a booming voice::
Hey!

Tom Stone: Jebus! I meant thank Jebus!

Jebus: ::in a booming voice::
That's what I thought.

KGB: Thanks Jebus. So see you next week?

Jebus: ::in a booming voice::
Possibly .

MEL: We'll give you Molson!!!!!

Jebus: ::in a booming voice::
Sweeeet!