The Beat Fearsome Four Episode II "A Little Work-Out"
by Kim

*The Fearsome Four were out for a light jog (working off those Molson's) on what they thought would be a pleasant day...*

HOOP - (having to restrain herself so that KGB and MEL could keep up) Man! This pace is killing me!

CP - Yeah, I know what you mean. Let's pick it up, Ladies!!
:: KGB and MEL groan in agony as sweat pours from their brows ::

MEL - Oh God! How much farther? Eh?!!

KGB - (gasping) I ... think... I'm gonna... hurl! (barfs up what appears to be pure Molson) Whoa! That stuff is sure good going down but I can't say much for it on the way back up!

HOOP - You guys have to start Juicing!! You gotta push your liquids!

MEL - I push liquids! I push a Molson to Kim...

KGB - I push a Molson to Mel...

MEL - DUDE!

KGB - SWEET!

CP - You guys are pathetic! We are going to set up a strict regimen for you both adn make sure you follow it!

MEL - (salutes) Aye, Aye, CAP'N!

KGB - (aside to Mel) What sup with the workout... I thought we were the creative force behind this group!!??

MEL - Yeah! What's up with that Shat, eh??!!

HOOP - Hey... you guys smell that???

CP - Yea, it's horrible!

MEL - ::turns and looks at KGB::

KGB - HEY!! No way!! Only one thing smells that bad....

ALL FOUR (in disgust) - The Spiritless!! * Ace, Suzie, Mac and Foudy drive by in the banshee mobile*

ACE - (hanging out the window... loincloth flapping) AIYEEAIYEEAIYEE....

SUZIE - Kewl, Ace... U R da man! U my peep... yo, peace!

MEL - (disgusted) I should've known! * Banshee mobile stops and Spiritless four jump out*

MAC - Hey! Two of them are outta breath and looking bad! Let's get 'em while they're down!

FOUDY - Good idea! Maybe we can finally "Beat" the Beat! (all giggle)

MEL - ::rolls eyes:: Shat, eh?! KGB and I are running on fumes! What'll we do, Eh?

HOOP - CP and I can take them, but we might expand too much energy... we do have a match tomorrow and we can't let down our teammates!

KGB - How Mia-like of you. (Hoop shoots her a glare)
::KGB swallows hard:: Um... sorry, Hoop.

CP - It doesn't look like we have much choice!

MEL - Even exhausted, I can take Suzie! I'm sure of it.

KGB - Who's gonna do the PBP?
* Michelle Akers jumps out from behind a tree with arm in sling and a large "Smile, Jesus Loves You" button pinned on her blouse *

MICH - I'll do it! I'm ready for the big time! No more prearranged half-time questions for me! ANSON (runs up) - Can't have a play by play without a partner!

MEL - Not him again! * Anson winks, well aware of Mel's secret yearning for him *

MEL - EDIT!!!

KGB - No way! I'm writing this one!
* back to the scene: Mel grabs large disc pin off of Michelle's blouse and hurls it at Suzie, who turns just in time to get nailed between the eyes *

ANSON- How humiliating! Gotta be right behind the "nutmeg" and the "putting on the hat"! Where's that brown bag for Suz?

MICH - not so fast, Anson. I'm calling a foul on the play because Mel stole my Jesus pin. "Thou shalt not steal" Exodus, ch. 20, verse 15.

ACE - (to Suzie) Oweee! You are injured little grasshopper! Lay low and I will compensate with my powers from the Seven Houses of the Locust!

MEL - Oh my God!

MICH - He's mine too, Mel and he loves you and so do I!

SUZIE - Yo, peace Akers my peep! Ya gotta have da luv! Yo!

MEL - SHAT, Eh?!! A foul!

MICH - Hey, watch the language!

MEL - Sorry. HOLY shat, Eh?!

CP - Enough goofing off! Let's finish these guys! I've got Jules!

MEL - Duh!

HOOP - I'll take Mac!

MAC - You'll not escape my thunder kick, madam Badness! (Mac pulls secret hatch on banshee mobile and numerous balls spill out. Mac begins hurling them at lightning speed right at Hoop, who is on the ground bombarded)

HOOP - A little help!!!

CP - Hey Hoop! I'm coming!

FOUDY - Not soooo fast, you thug! * Foudy pulls back lips to reveal monstrous smile and teeth *

CP - (hits ground covering eyes) Oh No! Not the "Mister Ed"!

KGB - Mel! We gotta do something!

ACE - AIYEEAIYEE..... I don't think so, you fiend! You now have your hands full!

KGB - Hey, I've seen under that loincloth of yours, so let's not exaggerate. *Ace and KGB tangle *ANSON - Oh! The tables have sure turned on the Beat tonight. If we don't regroup, we could be in trouble!

MICH - Um, Um... yeah, um, um... what do you guys have planned for the 2nd half? You'll need to make some corrections in the line-up.

ANSON - Way to stray from that half time talk, Mich.
* KGB, MEL, HOOP and CP in trouble! What will happen to the Fearsome Four now? Suddenly Coach Stone appears...*

COACH - Subs! We need Subs! Scurry, Bivens, Burtie... get in there!
*SCURRY quickly gets between HOOP and Mac and skillfully begins deflecting Mac's kicks, almost effortlessly *

ANSON - Oh! Beautiful save by Scurry! Yes!! The skate save! Bri's looking like a hockey goalie out there! Save, after save, after save! Oh the humility for Big Mac! Nothin's getting past Scurry and Hoop is recovering!
* BURTIE and BIVENS (aka the BUSY BÕs) run to help CP*

BURTIE - Whatever you do, don't look at her teeth... the power is overwhelming but you have to resist!

BIVENS - Gotcha!
* The Busy BÕs begin running circles around Foudy *

FOUDY - Hey stop! I'm getting dizzy! Stop... (Foudy starts swooning and falls over)

MAC - (stops kicking) Jules! Oh, Jules! (gives Bivens a shove trying to get to Foudy) Jules, are you okay? (strokes her hair and whispers words of encouragement in her ear)

ACE - Gadzukis! Foiled again!

SUZIE - Yo Jules, my peep! Yo, peace, yo.
*Ace and Suzie retreat to help carry Foudy back to the Banshee mobile *

CP - Hey Coach, thanks!

COACH - No problem, CP. I just thought you guys could use some super subs. (glances over at KGB and MEL)

MEL - Okay, Okay! We're gonna work on it.

KGB - I won't drink anymore Molson.

MEL -

KGB - (aside to Mel) Of course, I won't drink any less either.

MEL - Whoosh! You scared me, eh?!

HOOP - Thanks SCURRY!

SCURRY - No problem, I didn't even break a sweat! BOOYAA!

CP - Hey B's, thanks a lot! I thought I was a goner!

BIVENS - Anytime. When I was in the 4th grade, I wrote on my future goals project that I wanted to run circles around a big whiner one day. My mom showed it to me last week. You just helped me reach another goal.

BURTIE - It wasn't that difficult. It was simple aerodynamic physics. By continuously circumventing a stationary object at great speeds creating a sense of confusion in said object, the result is temporary vertigo ending in eventual loss of consciousness.

ALL OTHERS - Huh???

BURTIE - We kicked ass.

MEL - Dude!

KGB - Sweeeet!
*all retire for drinks at J & J's, except KGB, MEL and Coach Stone... who supervises KGB and MEL in guts sprints out in the parking lot...SHAT, Eh??!!