Transcribed by Laura
The bus pulls
into the main street. A young woman
gets off, looks at a piece of paper, looks around, and then walks towards
Fitzgerald’s.
Padraig: Siobhan
would you stop it? Roxy’s Cracker
couldn’t win over five furlongs if it set off last night.
Brendan: Racing tips from a vet.
Padraig: A vet with a hangover.
The young
woman comes in.
Assumpta: Back in a sec.
She approaches
the young woman.
Assumpta: Afternoon.
Jenny: Hi. The name’s Clark, I’ve booked a room.
Assumpta: Indeed you have. Two nights, is that right?
Jenny: Yeah.
Assumpta: Flying visit, then. Would you just sign here. Have you come for the scenery?
Jenny: Not exactly, no, I’ve come for the priest.
TITLES
Football pitch
A game is in
progress. Peter Clifford is in goal.
Brian: Come on, come on, come on! Yes! Good! Ah, what’s the matter with you, get stuck into him!
Brian
points to Peter, who has just made a save, and says to Ambrose:
Brian: I suppose you think that was lucky.
Ambrose: What’s he doing there?
Brian: Because he’s keen, he’s good, and I said so. Have you talked to my daughter? Well?
Ambrose: No, not yet. I’m waiting for the right moment.
Brian glares at Ambrose.
Ambrose: I’ll do it, okay? Today, definitely.
Brian: What’s
the matter? Go on, get out there, make
yourself useful.
Ambrose
joins the play, barges into Peter, knocking him down.
Timmy
Joe: Jesus
saves! Ah, but Ambrose Egan, he tucks
away the rebound.
Peter: I thought this was supposed to be a kick about.
Timmy Joe: That’s right, Father, and you got kicked about.
Ambrose: Come on now, lads, a bit of respect. Are you all right there, Father?
Peter: I’ll live.
Brian
blows his whistle.
Brian: Swap over! Defenders attack attackers defend. Thank you, Father, we won’t be needing you any more.
Peter: I’m happy to go on.
Brian: Do you want to see a grown man cry?
Ambrose: Are you after my job, Father?
Edso: You’ll feel that in the morning.
Peter: In the morning? You’re not playing?
Edso: I can wait.
Edso
watches Ambrose, who lets a goal in.
Edso: If that fella threw himself under a bus it’d go between his legs.
Brian: Ambrose, are you completely useless, or is it just a trick of the light? What do you need, an invitation to come for it? You are allowed to challenge for the ball, that’s why we put you there.
Jenny: So how’s he settling in?
Assumpta: I’m not really the one to ask, not all of us believe in fairy stories.
Jenny: Do you know where I can find him?
Assumpta: Padraig, where would Father Clifford be now?
Padraig: Up at the park, taking some exercise with the lads.
Assumpta: Male bonding, is it?
Brendan: I believe they still call it football, Assumpta.
Siobhan: He has confession at 4.
Padraig: He won’t want to miss yours.
Padraig and
Brendan: Baaa!
Jenny: I’ll catch up with him later. No woman comes between him and his football.
Siobhan: I had a lot to drink.
Peter: You got drunk.
Siobhan: Me back teeth were afloat.
Peter: Nothing to be proud of.
Siobhan: I’m not proud of it.
Peter: Did something happen?
Siobhan: Yes, I – sorry, this is embarrassing.
Peter: Don’t be embarrassed. Let me see if I can help. Would I be miles out in saying that you didn’t sleep alone?
Siobhan: No.
Peter: And you’re a single woman?
Siobhan: Yes.
Peter: And this person that you slept with...
Siobhan: It wasn’t a person I slept with, Father, it was a sheep. Several sheep, in fact.
Peter: Hang on a second...
Siobhan: Father, I woke up in a field. I was so drunk I couldn’t make it home.
Peter: And how do you feel now?
Siobhan: Stupid. Hung over.
Peter: Call it your penance. I forgive you in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, Amen. Here, take a couple of aspirins.
Siobhan: Thank you, Father. Will you let me do something for you?
Peter: Well...
Siobhan: A small contribution to the missions.
Peter: Of course.
Siobhan: In the 8:15 at Fairyhouse, Roxy’s Cracker should go very close.
Michael
Ryan is speaking on the phone.
Michael: Mmm. Yes.
There is a
knock at the door.
Michael: Come in.
Peter
comes in.
Michael: Brian, the point is that....Mmm. Mmm...Yes...I’ll talk to you later.
He puts
the phone down.
Michael: That man, I swear...
Peter: What?
Michael: Brian Quigley. Dumping organic fertilizer next to a caravan with a young family inside.
Peter: Organic fertilizer – is that what I think it is?
Michael: It is.
Peter: What, deliberately?
Michael: It seems so. I’ve just examined the baby. The mother wonders if the odour might have something to do with her child’s cough.
Jenny
says a brief prayer. She looks at the
sign showing times for confession: 4 to 6pm.
She looks at her watch: it is 6:10.
Michael is examining Peter’s bruised ribs.
Peter: So, how does Quigley get to be coach?
Michael: Well, he sponsors the team, and it’s his ball.
Peter: Would you like me to have a work with him about the fertilizer?
Michael: I’m sure the family would.
Peter: No problem. Where is this caravan, anyway?
Edso sees Liam and Donal
arriving on a dumper truck with another load of fertilizer. He runs to the caravan, where Peter is
sitting with Edso’s wife Frances.
Edso: Frances!
Frances: Will you shut up, can’t you see I’m
trying to get her to sleep?
Edso: And you think she’ll hear me over
that? What’s he doing here?
Frances: He wants to help. He’s the curate at St Joseph’s.
Edso: And he’s going to help us?
Frances: Oh that’s right, go on and insult
him.
Edso leaves the caravan.
Frances: No, Edso.
Peter: It’s all right.
Peter follows Edso
outside.
Peter: Edso, don’t.
Edso is wrestling with
Liam and Donal. Peter tries to pull him
away and in the struggle is thrown into the pile of fertilizer.
Edso: Father, I’m sorry.
Liam: I’m sorry too, Father, but this
is private property.
Peter: And in there is a young baby, and
you’re making her ill.
Donal: What?
Peter: She lives there, she sleeps
there, how would you like it?
Liam: We’ve got no fight with you,
Father. Come on, Donal.
Liam and Donal leave on
the dumper truck.
Peter starts to clean
himself up outside the caravan.
Peter: Edso, this can’t be good for her.
Edso: Do you think I’m not aware of
that? Do you think I want this?
Frances: Yes you do, you love it. You can’t wait for them to come back and
make a martyr of you.
Peter: Please, isn’t it...
Edso: I didn’t start this.
Inside the caravan, the
baby starts to cry.
Frances: Great, are you proud of
yourself? The pair of you.
Edso: Don’t start on me, Father. If I want a sermon I’ll come in to you on
Sunday.
Peter: You’ll be the only one there if I
don’t get this lot clean. How can this
be worth it?
Edso: We have a right to be here.
Peter: Why would you want to be here?
Edso: You haven’t been in Ireland long,
have you Father? I suppose you think
we’ve a horse tied up around the back.
And why wouldn’t you? Come to
Ireland and hire yourself a lovely red and green caravan with flowers painted
around the door. Live the life of a
real traveller. Ah sure we love
travellers in Ireland, don’t we, Frances?
Frances: We are not travellers.
Edso: Everyone thinks we are. Listen, Father, I’ve been traipsing round
this country now for five years, trying to look for any sort of regular work
that might provide a home for us. I’ve
been abused, spat at, and worse, by my own countrymen. I’m sick of it.
Peter: I’m sorry.
Edso: You’re sorry?
Peter: You said you had a right to be
here.
Frances: The job is over.
Edso: The contract isn’t. Quigley wanted an extension built. The weather’s been good so we finished
early.
Peter: Hang on...
Edso: Four weeks, you know? He promised.
Frances: It’s the principle.
Edso: It’s the fact we’ve nowhere to
go, or have you forgotten that?
Peter: Okay...
Edso: And yes, it’s the principle.
Guard’s
house
Niamh comes in and
kisses Ambrose.
Niamh: Hi, lover.
Ambrose is unresponsive.
Niamh: What?
Ambrose: Nothing. It’s good to see you.
Niamh: Good to see me, what am I, a
distant cousin?
Ambrose: Come on...
Niamh: What’s going on?
Ambrose: Nothing’s going...I was talking to your
father. He’s entitled to be heard. Niamh, I’m my own man, you know that.
Niamh: Will I pack now?
Ambrose: Niamh...
Niamh: Was he going to drop you, was he?
Ambrose: Now you’re just being silly. I worked hard for my place in that team.
Niamh: Aaah!
Ambrose: So what’s to bad about getting married?
Niamh: We’ve been through all this.
Ambrose: Yeah, and decided nothing, we’re still
arguing and I’ve had enough of it, so I’m telling you Niamh Quigley, either you
do the decent thing or that’s it.
Brian’s
house
Brian is adding water to
a glass of whiskey. Peter is spreading newspapers on a chair, his clothes are
still dirty.
Peter: Brian, she’s just a baby. No, keep pouring.
Brian: Sure I’m drowning it.
Peter: Did you hear what I said?
Brian: It’s no life for a child, sure it
isn’t. But it’s the life they chose.
Peter:
They chose to be
homeless? Do you know why they’re on
the road? They had to sell their house
to pay for long-term care for her father.
Brian: So what’s that got to do with me?
Peter: You want to get rid of them.
Brian: Oh I see so it’s my duty now is
it to provide them with a halting site?
Peter: No. But four weeks, that’s all they’re asking.
Brian: Get real, will ya? Do you think he’d really leave after four
weeks?
Peter: What harm are they doing there?
Brian: Oh, none at all, I mean, they’ll
be a great welcome there for the tourists when they turn up for the holiday
homes.
Peter: When are you building them,
tonight?
Brian: I want a sales office there this
week, and he’s in the way. Why am I
listening to this, I’m the one who gave him work, or have you forgotten?
Peter: Brian, that stuff is damaging the
baby’s health.
Brian: Then she shouldn’t be there.
Peter: But you said they could stay.
Brian: Till the end of the job.
Peter: Till the end of the contract.
Brian: Father, this is not what we pay
you for.
Peter: I don’t work for you.
Peter realises he is
getting nowhere, and he leaves.
Peter’s
house
Peter arrives on his
motorbike and comes into the house. He
slams the door and bangs down his crash helmet.
Jenny: Temper temper.
Peter: Jenny!
Peter’s expression
changes rapidly between pleasure and dismay.
Jenny: You’re as sloppy about security
as you were in Manchester. You left the
door open. ‘Hi Jenny, it’s nice to see
you.’ Yeah, it’s nice to see you
too. I’ve come a long way. Can I have a hug please?
Peter: Jenny, what are you doing here?
Jenny: What do you mean, what am I doing
here? I came to see you.
Peter: Why? I mean...
Jenny: Why? You ask me why?
Fitzgerald’s
Brendan: It’s a long way to come for spiritual
guidance.
Padraig: Ah come on now lads, it’s not her
fault that Manchester is such a godless place.
Timmy
Joe: Nowhere can be called
completely godless that has Eric Cantona.
Assumpta sees the key to
Jenny’s room is still on the hook. It
is raining hard outside.
Peter’s house
Peter: I
think I need a drink.
Jenny: You
need a bath.
Peter: Is
it that bad?
Jenny
takes a bottle of wine out of a shopping bag.
Jenny: Alcohol
first?
Brian’s house
Brian
is watching television, he hears a door open.
Getting up he sees Niamh come in.
She runs into her room without speaking to him.
Brian: Niamh....
Fitzgerald’s
Ambrose: Did
you get home all right, Siobhan?
Sounds
of people saying “baaa!”
Brendan: Does
Coach Quigley know you are breaking curfew?
Timmy Joe: Curfew,
for a match against Cilldargan?
Padraig: Quigley
told them all to go and get slaughtered.
He’s so confident he thought it would make a change to celebrate before
the match.
Brendan: But
to resist the sheep, if possible.
Siobhan
gets up and goes out.
Assumpta
picks up Jenny’s room key and walks towards the door.
Assumpta: I’ll
be back in a few minutes, okay?
Peggy: Okay.
Assumpta
leaves.
Peter’s house
Peter
comes downstairs, bathed and in clean clothes.
Jenny: That’s
better.
Peter: You
can tell from there?
Jenny: Yup.
Peter: Jenny...
Jenny: Peter,
don’t make me sorry I came.
Peter: This
is a small town.
Jenny: So?
Peter: You
know what I mean.
Jenny: Oh
right, so people don’t talk in a big down, yeah?
Peter: Jenny,
what do you want?
Jenny: I
want an explanation.
Peter: What
explanation? I got transferred.
Jenny: Like
a footballer.
Peter: No,
not like a footballer. With us there’s
no fee, and there’s no choice. Once the
Bishop says you’ve got to go...
Jenny: And
you’re not even allowed to say goodbye?
Peter: I
did say goodbye.
Jenny: From
the pulpit. It’s hardly the same thing.
Peter: I
know.
Jenny: Or
did you have a special relationship with all your female parishioners?
There
is a knock at the door. Peter opens it.
Peter: Assumpta,
come in.
Assumpta: I, ah,
I won’t stop, Father, your, um, friend left this behind. I’d hate her to be locked out on a night
like tonight.
Peter: It’s
very thoughtful of you.
Assumpta: Not at
all. Room service.
Peter: I
should have said, Jenny’s parents are good friends from England.
Assumpta: Is
that right? I’d better go, they’ll be
screaming for pints.
Peter: Right.
Assumpta: Good
night.
Peter: Thanks.
Assumpta
leaves and Peter closes the door.
Jenny: Problem?
Peter: Not
really. It’s like I said, it’s a small
town.
Fitzgerald’s
Brendan: Was
he any good?
Ambrose: Father
Peter? Fair play to him, he wasn’t
completely useless, but I think he found the game a bit physical.
Brendan: Oh,
you mean you slaughtered him.
Padraig: Did
you give your man Edso Foley a game?
Ambrose: What
are you talking about?
Padraig: Maybe
you should have. My young fella saw him
having a kick around after you’d gone, said he was brilliant.
Ambrose: A kick
around on his own and he looked brilliant, well have you seen my golf swing
Padraig, have you?
Peter’s house
Peter
and Jenny are having dinner.
Jenny: Good?
Peter: It’s
all right. I don’t see what’s wrong
with hamburgers, though.
Jenny: Ha
ha. Look Peter, we’re going to have to
talk about this.
Peter: I
know. How long are you here for?
Jenny: I
left home.
Peter: And
what do they say, your mum and dad?
Jenny: I
haven’t told them yet.
Peter: You
haven’t told them? For God’s sake.
Jenny: You
never told me you were leaving.
Peter: I’m
not your father.
Jenny: I
don’t want you to be.
Peter: And
I’m not your lover.
Outside Peter’s house
Kathleen
is walking her dog. She glances into
Peter’s window. Seeing him with Jenny,
she stops and comes closer to the window.
Inside Peter’s house
Peter: Nothing
happened between us.
Jenny: It
was going to, wasn’t it. Well, look at
me.
Jenny
puts her hand on his cheek.
Jenny: It
was, wasn’t it.
Peter
covers her hand with his.
Outside Peter’s house
Kathleen
is still watching.
Inside Peter’s house
Jenny: And
I don’t think anything’s changed. You’re not going to send me out in that, are
you?
Jenny
goes upstairs to Peter’s bedroom, and sits on the bed. Peter stays downstairs,
sitting at the table.
Caravan
It
is dark and raining hard. Edso is
shovelling fertilizer into a pickup truck.
Frances: Edso,
don’t.
Edso: Get
away from me. Go on, get back inside.
Peter’s house
Peter
gets up from the table, turns off the light, and blows out the candle. Jenny is still sitting on the bed upstairs. She hears the front door. She goes to the bedroom window and sees
Peter turning up his collar against the rain, and starting to walk down the
path. She watches him leave.
Fitzgerald’s
Ambrose: I’m not saying that he’s done anything
wrong, I’m just saying that it’s no way to live or to try and bring up a child.
Padraig: Is
that right, he’s be better off on a corporation estate in Dublin, would he?
Peter
comes in and stands near the door. He is soaked from the rain.
Ambrose: Anyway,
they put tourists off.
Assumpta
walks over to Peter.
Brendan: Hold
on lads, the result.
Announcer: The
8:15, first, Roxy’s Cracker at 8-1.
Second, number 5....
Assumpta: That’ll
shut them up for a bit.
Peter: Sorry?
Assumpta: Siobhan
gave them a tip and they wish they’d taken it.
Peter: Ah.
Assumpta: What
can I do for you?
Peter: I
need a room.
Assumpta: I’m
not sure we’ve got one.
She
turns from Peter as though to walk away.
Peter: Jenny
– Miss Clark – won’t be using hers.
Assumpta: Okay.
Peter: I
have the key.
Peter
walks towards the stairs. Assumpta
watches him.
Assumpta: Are
you okay?
Peter: I’m
fine.
Peter
goes upstairs, with Assumpta still watching him.
Brian’s house
A
pickup truck arrives outside the house.
Inside, Brian is eating his dinner and listening to the Bee Gees. Edso starts unloading the fertilizer on
Brian’s patio. Brian has had a few
glasses of wine. He falls asleep in his
armchair.
Brian’s house, next morning
Brian
opens the curtain and looks out of the window. There is a steaming pile of
organic fertilizer on his patio.
Brian: Mother
of Jayz!
Liam’s house
Brian
knocks loudly on the door.
Brian: Liam! Liam! Get your arse down
here. I’ve got some work for ya. And give Donal a ring.
Fitzgerald’s
Assumpta
is outside, knocking on the front door.
She calls to an open upstairs window.
Assumpta: Father
Clifford!
She
knocks on the door again. Peter’s head appears at the window.
Peter: Yes?
Assumpta: A
message for you, Father. Something
about a dumper truck.
Peter
shuts the window quickly and disappears from view. A short time afterwards he comes out of the front door and starts
to run towards his house.
Outside Peter’s house
As
Peter is getting on his motorbike, Jenny opens his front door.
Jenny: Peter!
Peter: I
can’t, Jenny, not now.
Peter
drives off. Jenny goes back inside.
Caravan
Liam,
Donal and Brian arrive on the dumper truck, which is full of fertilizer. Edso
comes out to confront them. Peter
arrives. Liam starts to tip the load
ready to dump it.
Peter: Brian,
turn that thing off.
The
engine dies.
Peter: Edso, there will be no dumping
here today, you have my word. Now
please leave before he calls the guards, you are trespassing.
Brian: So
are you.
Peter: Edso,
please. Leave it to me.
Edso
walks away towards the caravan.
Donal: Come on now, Father, we don’t want
any trouble.
Peter: There’ll be no trouble. But if you’re going to dump that, you’re
going to have to dump it on me.
Brian: I have no problem with that. Start her up.
Liam starts the engine.
Brian: Dump.
The
load starts to tip. Just as it is about
to fall onto Peter, Brian backs down.
Brian, Liam and Donal leave on the dumper truck without another word.
Peter joins Edso and Frances in the caravan.
Frances: Thank
you, Father.
Peter: I
don’t think I’ve done you any favours.
Edso: You
took a stand, Father. A lot wouldn’t.
Peter: You
still want to stay here?
Edso: Or
go where?
Peter: I
don’t know.
Edso: You
think it might be different somewhere else?
Peter: Well,
there might be more work.
Edso: Mending
kettles, right?
Peter: I
dunno. Surely at least renting
somewhere...
Frances: Even
renting you need a deposit.
Sacristy at St Joseph’s
Peter
is turning over the pages of a bible. There
is a knock at the door.
Peter: Come
in.
Jenny
comes in.
Jenny: Hello.
Peter: Hello.
Jenny: This
is getting to be a habit.
Peter: What’s
that?
Jenny: You
just disappearing.
Peter: Jenny...
Jenny: Still,
at least last night was your decision.
Peter: To
leave? Jenny, it was my decision to
leave the first time.
Jenny: What?
Peter: It
was me who asked for a transfer. I
wanted to put some distance between us.
Jenny: You
wanted to? Like this is my fault? You told me I was special, you made me feel
special. What’s the point, what are you
trying to do?
Peter: I don’t know. Have it both ways? I don’t know. I wasn’t
thinking, I was feeling, these were feelings, not thoughts, not logical, not sensible. Powerful feelings.
Jenny moves close to Peter.
Jenny: What feelings? Feelings for me? For a woman’s body?
Peter moves away.
Peter: Jenny, please.
Jenny: I need to know.
Peter: Stop. Please.
Jenny: Are you ashamed of them?
Peter: Yes.
Jenny: I bet you could put them into
words for your confessor.
Peter: I tried to do the right thing.
Jenny: You ran away.
Peter: I’d have ruined your life.
Jenny: My life?
Peter: Our lives.
The telephone
rings. Peter answers it.
Peter: Hello. Father Mac. Yes. Straight away. Yes.
Peter puts down the
phone.
Peter: I have to go.
Jenny watches him leave.
Outside Fitzgerald’s
Peter
rides up on his motorbike. Assumpta is
washing the windows.
Peter: Thank
you for last night. What do I owe you?
Assumpta: Forget
it.
Peter: Thanks.
Assumpta: Your
friend paid up front. Your boss rang
here.
Peter: I
know.
Assumpta: If I
were you I’d plead the 5th.
Peter
drives off over the bridge.
Father Mac’s study
Peter: Who
told you that?
Mac: Someone
who has the church’s best interests at heart.
Is it true?
Peter: No,
it isn’t. Yes, I had a visitor last
night. And yes, she stayed the
night. I didn’t. I went to Fitzgerald’s.
Mac: You
spent the night in a public bar?
Peter: Father, my accuser can’t have it
both ways. An old friend turned up
unexpectedly. I couldn’t put her out in
the pouring rain, so I turned myself out.
The only woman I spent the night with was Assumpta Fitzgerald.
Father
Mac is stoney faced.
Peter: It
was a joke.
Mac: Father,
that sort of joke stopped being funny in this country when people realised it
was actually happening.
Peter: Yes,
Father.
Mac: And
the sight of “painted women”, as it was put to me, cavorting round the curate’s
house at midnight....
Peter: What?
Mac: ...does
nothing to dispel people’s prejudice. I
expect high standards of my curate, Father, and there are still some of my
parishioners who do too.
Peter: With respect, Father, you have a
right to expect high standards of me, but a man who makes a young family’s life
misery selling holiday homes does not.
Mac: What?
Peter: Well,
I presume it was Brian Quigley who came to you.
Mac: Brian
Quigley, what are you talking about?
Anyway, it’s not Brian Quigley who owns that field, it’s Assumpta
Fitzgerald.
Fitzgerald’s kitchen
Assumpta: What
are you telling me, that it’s my doing?
Peter: Well
it’s your field, you must know about it.
Assumpta: Yeah,
I do know about it, I hired them.
Peter: Liam
and Donal?
Assumpta: Yeah.
Peter: Oh,
well you must be very proud of them, they won’t let a small child get in the
way.
Assumpta: Now
look...
Peter: Please
go on.
Assumpta: Nobody
did, they were using their initiative.
Peter: Oh
well, that let’s you off the hook, doesn’t it.
Assumpta: How
dare you.
Peter: Well
who else is going to stick up for these people?
Assumpta: And why
should you? It’s none of your
business. That field is my lifeline.
Assumpta
goes into the bar, Peter follows her.
Peter: What,
this place loses money?
Assumpta: My
finances are none of your business.
Look around you, the twelve apostles would be a full house in here.
Peter: You
wouldn’t let them in, would you?
Assumpta: Out of
season, I’d let the Pope in.
They
go back into the kitchen.
Assumpta: Quigley
wants the field to build holiday homes, but he doesn’t want it with a caravan
next door.
Peter: So?
Assumpta: So I
asked Liam and Donal to make them an offer.
Peter: What
kind of offer?
Assumpta: I said
I’d pay them to move on. They
refused. The boys decided to up the
ante.
Peter: I
see.
Assumpta: Understand,
Father, sooner or later Quigley would have had them out anyway, with a sore
head and an empty pocket.
Peter: They’d
live in a house if they could.
Assumpta: Not
with the kind of money I was offering them.
They
go back out into the bar.
Assumpta: Hello,
Siobhan.
Siobhan: Hello,
Assumpta.
Assumpta: How
are ya?
Siobhan: I’m
well, thanks. Give us a mineral water,
will ya?
Peter: Congratulations.
Siobhan: What
for?
Peter: Roxy’s
Cracker.
Siobhan: Did
you back it?
Peter: I
wish I had.
Siobhan: Well
never mind, Father, you’ll know the next time.
Peter: I
certainly will.
Siobhan: Well,
I believe the lads are awful cocky about this afternoon.
Peter: Can’t
lose, apparently.
Siobhan: Is
that right.
Peter: Cilldargan
can beat them?
Siobhan: There’s
only two teams playing.
Peter: Well
one of them hasn’t won for 20 years.
Siobhan: Ah,
they weren’t good enough then.
Peter: And
they are now?
Siobhan: Quigley
doesn’t think so.
Peter: But
you do.
Siobhan: I
can’t see into the future, Father.
Peter: You
can see far enough for me. How easy
would it be to get a bet on?
Siobhan: As
easy as waking up with a sheep.
Peter: Assumpta?
Assumpta: What?
Peter: The
money you were going to offer.
Assumpta: I know
what you meant.
Peter: All
they need is a deposit.
Assumpta: By
backing Cilldargan?
Siobhan: They’ll
be a big price.
Assumpta: Yeah,
but they can’t win.
Siobhan: (to
Assumpta): Your call.
Brian’s house
Niamh
has answered the door, Peter is just coming in.
Niamh: How’s
the bruising?
Peter: What? Oh, I’d forgotten about that. It’s terrible. How’s Ambrose?
Niamh: I
think I’m going to have to marry him.
Peter: That’ll
be nice.
Niamh: {with total lack of
enthusiasm} Yeah. Won’t
it. Dad’s inside.
Brian: Ah,
Father Clifford. Thank you for
coming. Can I get you a drink?
Peter: Oh, no thanks Brian, I can only stay
for a few minutes.
Brian
gets a drink for himself.
Brian: Oh
that’s a pity, never mind. There are
two things I have to say to you. That
business up at the field.
Peter: Yes.
Brian: Leave
it alone. None of your business. Doesn’t concern you. I think you’d find Father Mac would agree
with me.
Peter: Uhuh.
Brian: And
second, my reserve goalkeeper has been injured, a pig trod on his foot. How would you like to deputise?
Peter: Me?
Brian: Well
you’ll only be keeping the bench warm.
Sure what harm, I’ve seen worse.
Peter’s house
Peter
and Jenny are sitting at the table with cups of coffee.
Peter: I
keep walking out on you.
Jenny: Yeah,
you’d think I could take a hint.
Peter: I’m
sorry.
Jenny: I’m
leaving. I’m going home. I made a mistake and now I know.
Peter: Painful
way to find out.
Jenny: Well,
no’one asked me to come here.
Peter: It
doesn’t make it your fault. When are
you going?
Jenny: The
bus leaves after the match. Will you
see me off?
Peter: You
know I will.
Assumpta and Siobhan are walking up the road towards the
football field.
Siobhan: There’s
a good spring in the ground.
Peter
runs up behind them. He is dressed
casually.
Assumpta: Hello.
Siobhan: All
set?
Peter: Oh yes.
Assumpta
remarks about Peter not wearing his collar.
Peter is a little sheepish.
Siobhan: You
do realise, Father, that it would be very bad form for you to be cheering on
the away side.
Peter: I’ll
try not to.
Siobhan: And
I think it would be very odd if you were seen to be not cheering on the home
side’s successes.
Assumpta: There
won’t be any home side successes, will there, Siobhan.
Siobhan: I
never forced you to have a bet.
Peter: This
is for the best, isn’t it?
Assumpta: I’m
taking advice from a priest.
They
go onto the football field.
There
are cheers as the home team come on to the pitch.
Brian: I
don’t think we’ll be needing your prayers today, Father.
Assumpta: You
won’t be getting them.
The
away team come onto the pitch, also to cheers and calls. Peter spots a familiar
figure amongst them.
Peter: That’s
Edso Foley, isn’t it? That’s Edso.
Brian: What’s
he doing playing for them?
Siobhan: Is
it? Ah yes, so it is.
The
game begins.
Siobhan: Good lads, good lads. Come one now. Up the field, you can do
it. That’s lovely. Come on, you can do it, get it in, get it
in, you can do it, come on, come on, yes, yes!
Bally score. Peter and Assumpta look glum.
Siobhan: What’s the matter with you, it’s only
a point. It’s a point when it goes over
the bar.
Peter: I know.
Siobhan: And three points for a goal.
Peter: I know. And they’ve just scored 1.
Siobhan: We, Father. We’re the home side.
Peter: Right. Did you have a bet yourself?
Siobhan: Against me own side? What do you take
me for?
The game proceeds. Edso takes the ball all the way up the
field. Assumpta gets excited and jumps
to her feet.
Assumpta: Yes!
Assumpta notices Brian
frowning at her, and is embarrassed at being caught cheering for the wrong side.
Assumpta: Go on the underdog.
Play continues. At half time Ballyk are well in the lead.
In
the second half, Cilldargan take control of the game and rapidly start to catch
up. Edso is playing brilliantly.
Ambrose lets in one goal, and then a second.
Liam: Ambrose you buck eejit, will you
get a grip?
Niamh: Who are you calling a buck eejit?
Padraig: Ambrose, you thick! You may as well leave the ball in the net,
save you the trouble of taking it out the next time.
Niamh: He’s doing his best.
Padraig: Doing his best? The last time Cilldargan scored against us
Jesus Christ was a carpenter. Now he’s
after letting two in.
Padraig looks at Niamh.
Padraig: Have you two had a fight?
Niamh walks away.
Brendan: Have you ever thought about taking up
counselling, Padraig?
Edso scores again.
Assumpta: What is it now?
Peter: One more goal and Cilldargan are
in the lead.
Edso knocks Ambrose
down, and when he gets up it is apparent he has hurt his ankle. He is helped off the pitch.
Brian: Father! You wanted to play, come
on, you’re playing.
Peter starts to take off
his jacket.
Assumpta: What?
Peter: I’m the reserve goalkeeper.
Assumpta: Oh, that’s handy.
Peter: No way. This is different.
Assumpta: What!
This is my money we’re talking about here.
Peter: Assumpta, I can’t throw a
game. What do you take me for?
Assumpta: Have you forgotten what this was all
about? Do you want that woman and her
child to live in a caravan for the rest of their lives? All right, I want to sell my field. What is so bad about that?
Brian: Are you two quite finished? To Peter: All right then, go on, make a name for yourself.
Peter runs onto the
pitch, to cheers. Play resumes.
Peter makes a number of
successful saves. Then he dives for the
ball and a Cilldargan player falls on top of him. The referee gives a penalty.
Peter
to the referee: I went for the ball
and he ran into me!
Siobhan
to Assumpta: I’m impressed.
Assumpta: It hasn’t gone in yet.
Edso takes the
penalty. Peter saves it.
Referee: Another penalty, another penalty.
Peter: What are you talking about? Whose side are you on?
Referee: He moved. He moved.
Edso shoots again, and
the ball goes into the net.
Assumpta: Yes!
Bad luck Father!
Fitzgerald’s
Peter and Ambrose come
in.
Brendan: Here they are, here are the lads, hail
the conquered heroes.
Brendan
to Ambrose: How is it?
Ambrose: Ah it’s just a twisted ankle, I’ll be
fine.
Assumpta
to Peter: Brilliant, Father,
brilliant. I’m lost in admiration.
Peter: The ball went in.
Assumpta: I know.
It was brilliant.
Peter: Assumpta...
Brendan: Father, Father, come over and join us.
Timmy
Joe: Well played, Father.
Peter: Cheers.
Padraig: I thought we had God on our side.
Timmy
Joe: You’re telling me. Do you know
what price they were to win?
Siobhan: No, what?
Timmy
Joe: 4-1. And do you know something else?
Your man Edso Foley only played senior football in Kerry.
Brendan: Oh, so he fell on hard times before he
got here!
Peter
to Siobhan: How did you know?
Siobhan: I saw him play when I practised in
Tralee. I didn’t think he was that
good.
Peter: Uh, excuse me, I’ll be back in a
second.
Bus
stop
Jenny is standing beside
the bus. Peter comes running up.
Jenny: Well, goodbye. It was still nice to see you.
Peter: And you.
Jenny: Well, you’ll know next time.
Peter: I’m a priest.
Jenny: There’ll be a next time.
She boards the bus and
it pulls away. Peter watches it leave,
and then turns and walks back towards Fitzgerald’s.
END