THE RECKONINGTranscribed by JantinekeWritten by Kieran PrendivilleSeries created by Kieran Prendiville Scene 1 int: nightFitzgerald'sAll the regulars are in the pub. They're listening to Padraig who's telling a jokePadraig: So the lieutenant says 'what do you mean, no sensitivity? I have as much sensitivity as any man aboard this ship.' ‘Now, I know you do, Lieutenant' says the captain, 'but when you've got to tell a serving marine officer that he has just lost a loved one, well that requires the most exceptional delicacy. Peter walks in, signing not to let Padraig know. Padraig: Now look. Kowalski's mother has just died and I want you to remember what I just said, when you tell him. So the man goes down to Kowalski's mess...Brendan: Padraig!Padraig: Shut up, Brendan. I know you've heard it. And then he says 'any man aboard this ship who's got a mother take a step forward'.Peter steps forward. Padraig sees him.Padraig: {Softly} Not so fast, Kowalski.Peter: No, it's 'not so fast Kowalski'. Like that and then it might work.Padraig: I'm really sorry. I don't know what to say.Peter: Buy us a beer. I'll tell you what. Everyone in this bar who can tell a good joke take one step forward. No so fast, Padraig.Everyone laughs.ROLL TITLESScene 2 int: nightFitzgerald'sAll the regular's are in the bar. They're eating Thai food.Brendan: Assumpta? Brilliant!Assumpta:Oh.Brendan: What have you got there, Padraig?Padraig: Prawns in ginger. Would you like some?Siobhan: Thank you, Padraig. I would.She accepts his plate. Siobhan sees Brian.Siobhan: You've lost your appetite?Brian: No Siobhan and I haven't lost my taste either.Brendan: What?Brian: Bar snacks are bar snacks...Assumpta: Bar snacks?Brian: You want real Chinese food you know where to go.Assumpta: Exactly. A Chinese restaurant. This is Thai food.Brian: Typhoid.Assumpta: What?Brian: What? Anyway, what does it matter? The thing that counts, the only thing that counts is, is the man who wears the apron the genuine Asian or not.Shamie: Another pint in there, missus, and a bag of scampi fries.Assumpta gapes at him.Brian: What?Brendan: And what part of the teeming Orient is your man from exactly?Shamie: Irishtown.Padraig: There you go.Scene 3 int: nightEgan's house.Niamh walks out the kitchen into Ambrose's office.Ambrose: Is he down?Niamh: He is. Come on, you're next.Ambrose: I can't Love, I have to go out.Niamh: Ambrose!Ambrose: You saw the directive.Niamh: She's your friend too.Ambrose: Yes, and she takes me for a fool. This is my job, love.Niamh leaves him alone.Scene 4 int: nightFitzgerald'sEveryone is still in the bar. They've almost finished eating.Siobhan: Assumpta, that was great. Thanks.Assumpta takes over her plate.Assumpta: Thanks for being the guinea pig.She heads for the kitchen and notices Shamie.Assumpta: Hey, if you need any tips, you know...Shamie: Any time.Assumpta: No, I meant... no forget it.She disappears into the kitchen.Brian: Don't mind her. She puts up her face and the wind changes.He notices Peter at the far end of the bar.Brian: Father, would you like to come and join us.Peter picks up his glass and joins Brian and Shamie.Brian: Have you met my new chef?Peter: Your what?Liam: He's opening a Chinese restaurant.Donal: Peking Ducks 'R Us.Peter: That's nice.Brian: This is my man with the wok, Shamie Chung.Peter: Shamie.They shake hands.Shamie: How are ya?Peter: You?Shamie: Grand.The lights in the bar flicker and then go off.Padraig: Ah, Assumpta!Assumpta come out the kitchen.Assumpta: Hey, am I deaf as well as blind?Padraig: I'm only saying...Assumpta: Okay, I'm dealing with it.She goes down the cellar.Brendan: Peter, know your way around a fuse box?Peter: Some.Brendan: She doesn't.Peter goes to the cellar.Peter: Can I help?Assumpta: Probably.Peter: I think it's going be more than just a fuse.Assumpta: Oh, it's always a fuse. Ooh!Peter: What have you done?Assumpta: I've dropped it. Erm, you have a light?Peter: Erm, no I'm sorry. I'll help.They start crawling and looking for the fuse. Their arms touch.Assumpta: You're shivering.Peter: I know.Assumpta: Why?Peter: Lots of things.Assumpta: Oh, of course.Peter: Yeah.Assumpta: Your mother.Peter: My mother, my life.Assumpta: The little things.Padraig: Are you all right down there?Assumpta: Yeah, we're fine Padraig.Turns to Peter. Assumpta: Another time.Peter: Yeah.Brian comes down the stairs.Brian: Now what's the problem?Peter: We've dropped the fuse.They get up on their feet.Brendan: I have it.Peter: Oh, well done, Brendan.The lights go on.Assumpta: Three of you!Brian: Four.Assumpta: You don't have homes to go to?She goes up the ladder.Assumpta: Brendan?She gives him the parts.Brendan: Yeah, thanks.Brian: What's the matter with her?Peter: Well, it is a bit crowded down here.Brendan: She just likes to be the boss around the house.Peter: You know Assumpta.Brian: The fuse is the least of her problems.Scene 5 int: nightEgan's house.Ambrose walks up the stairs. He's dressed in uniform. He looks in the mirror and puts on his hat. Then he leaves the house.Scene 6 int: nightFitzgerald'sPeter, Brian, Padraig and Brendan are in the cellar. Peter and Brendan try to fix the fuse.Brendan: Be careful there, Father.Peter: When did this go in?Padraig: The same men who did the Arch.Ambrose arrives at the pub. He takes a deep breath and knocks at the door.Ambrose: Open up. Guard on public house duty. Come on, Assumpta.Assumpta heads for the door. Liam, Donal and Shamie run out of the back.Assumpta: Ah no lads. Don't do this.Liam: Sorry.Ambrose runs to the back of the pub.Assumpta opens the door.Assumpta: Ambrose, this is a private party!She sees an empty street.Assumpta: Ambrose?Ambrose arrives at the back of the pub. He sees the boys.Ambrose: How are you boys? Back inside if you please.Peter wants to go upstairs. Brian pulls him back.Brian: Where do you think you're going? Come back, come back.Ambrose and the boys come back by the bar and so does Assumpta.Ambrose: I believe the expression is 'bang to rights'?Assumpta: This is a private party, Ambrose.Ambrose: Guard Egan, if you like.Assumpta: Inspector Morse if it makes you feel any better.Shamie: Ha ha ha!Ambrose: Who is this?Liam: Shamie, Shamie Chung.Ambrose: Shamie what?Donal: Chung, you know, like in meaty chunks? Only with a G.Liam: And no S.Shamie: Yeah.Ambrose: Where are you from, Shamie?Shamie: Irishtown.Ambrose: Oh right, yeah. The Irishtown Chungs.Shamie: Hey, that's racism, that is.Assumpta: Yeah, I think so too. And this is a private party, Guard Egan.Ambrose: Where is the rest of them?Donal: Who?Ambrose: Assumpta, are you gonna have a lock in with these three? I don't think so.Liam: Oh, that's nice.Ambrose: Do I have to go down into the cellar to find them?Brian: No. He climbs out of the cellar.Brian: Will you have a drink, will you here Ambrose?Assumpta: I just told him it was a private party.Brian: Exactly why I'm offering him one.The lights go off again. People run. Then the lights go back on. Peter is still in the pub.Ambrose: Go on, I haven't seen you.Peter: What?Assumpta: Soundless Go!Ambrose: Father, this is no time for an attack of conscience. Will you go?Peter: This is silly. You have seen me. And anyway, this was a private party.He leaves. Ambrose is angry.Scene 7 int: dayOutside the Chinese restaurant.Liam is carrying a box. Niamh and Brian come out the building. Donal stays on a ladder, painting words.Brian: So what did they want then?Niamh: They wanted to do a review.Brian: Did you tell them we weren't open yet?Niamh: Of course I did. But they said no matter what they wanted a piece on what kind of restaurant it's going to be.Brian: Tell me what kind, Chinese of course.Niamh: I know, dad, but what sort of Chinese, you know like Mandarin or Cantonese or what?Brian: I don't know. Peking.Brian reads the text Donal is painting.Brian: Oh, mother. Donal, how do you spell... no, tell me it's me. Tell me my eyes are gone.Donal: What?Liam: Ah, Donal. Will you get a grip? There's two ee's in peeking. Right, Mr Quigley? Ha ha ha.Ambrose arrives. He slams on Brian's shoulder with a paper.Ambrose: Brian Quigley?Brian: No, Brian Epstein. What is that?Ambrose: A summons. You are not alone.Ambrose drives his bike through the whole town and summons everyone.Scene 8 int: dayEgan's houseNiamh and Ambrose are in the kitchen. Niamh's serving lunch.Niamh: And you gave one to Father Clifford? To the curate? My father I can understand, but the priest? Have you no shame?Ambrose: He had every chance to walk away.Niamh: You mean you summonsed him for doing the decent thing?Ambrose: No. I summonsed him for insulting my intelligence.Niamh: What?Ambrose: He told me it was a private party.Niamh: Oh, he’s a liar now, is he?Ambrose: Niamh, if I had a pound for every time an after hour's drinker told me he was attending a private function...Niamh: And Assumpta too?Ambrose: Of course!Niamh: And they say community policing is dead?Scene 9 int: dayCilldargan presbyteryFr Mac walks around the desk at which Peter is sitting.Fr Mac: What were you thinking, Father. Haven't the clergy had enough bad publicity?Peter: It was only after hours drinking.Fr Mac: What?Peter: I don't mean that I was. It's not like we were... you know as if...Fr Mac: Go on.Peter: It was a private party.Fr Mac: Tell that to the judge.Peter: We will.Fr Mac expects him to leave.Fr Mac: Well, what are you waiting for? A character reference?Peter: I haven't thought of that.He smiles, but Fr Mac doesn't.Scene 10 int: dayFitzgerald'sAmbrose walks to Fitzgerald's. He takes a deep breath before he enters the pub.He finds it empty.Ambrose: Assumpta?Assumpta: Down here!Ambrose goes into the cellar. He sees Assumpta trying to fix the fuse.Ambrose: No offence Assumpta, but do you know what you're doing there?Assumpta: I have managed well enough till now.Ambrose: Course you have.Assumpta: What'd you want me now? Was there a bank job in Cilldargan?Ambrose: No. I wondered if you could do us a favour, me and Niamh.Assumpta: A favour?Ambrose: We need a babysitter.Assumpta: Do you see this socket here, Ambrose? Would you ever just stick your fingers in it, just for me?Ambrose: I'll take that as a no then, will I?Scene 11 int: dayPadraig's placeBrendan arrives at Padraig's on his bike. He goes inside. The place is empty.Brendan: Padraig?Padraig: In the back!Brendan goes to the back. There he finds Padraig pouring stout in a bowland Kevin sits on a chair, looking at his dad.Padraig: Ah, here you are, Brendan. I'll be right with you.Brendan: What is that?Padraig: It's for the food fair.Brendan: Call me picky, but isn't food a necessary constituant?Padraig: Stout fried beef and vegetable pie.Kevin: Szechwan style.Brendan: With stout?Padraig: The world is in the kitchen, right?Brendan: Well, where is the beef?Padraig: It's on its way.Brendan: And what about the pie?Padraig: Look, Brendan, if you just have come to pick on...Brendan: Oh no, no. This is a work in progress.Padraig: It's a work of art as we say.Brendan: We can't wait, can we Kev?Padraig: He isn't getting any.Brendan: Growing up is one disappointment after another. Isn't it, Kev?Scene 12 int: dayOn the bridge.Peter and Ambrose are walking on the bridge.Peter: I don't see why I should.Ambrose: That was just business, Father.Peter: Well, Fr Mac took it very personally. So did I.Ambrose: She hasn't been out for so long.Peter: Well, apart from the funeral, neither have I.Ambrose: Of course. I'm sorry to trouble you.Peter: Ambrose, did I say no?Ambrose: I can't drop the charges, Father.Peter: Ambrose, I'm not worried about the charges, because I'm not guilty.Ambrose: Whatever you say, Father.Peter: Can I use your kitchen?Ambrose: Of course Father, but we'll leave something for you anyway, all you have to do is eat it up.Peter: No, I'm doing something for the food fair.Ambrose: Condemned man's last meal, ha?Peter points at himself.Peter: Ambrose, not going to jail. Not guilty.Peter walks away.Ambrose: Oh, yeah, of course. Right. I was forgetting.Scene 13 int: nightEgan's place.Niamh and Peter are in the nursery. Niamh is giving Peter instructions. Kieran is lying in bed.Niamh: Now, the molture is on and Ambrose's put the speaker into the kitchen.Peter: Niamh, don't worry.Niamh: He won't wake up anyway.Peter: It's alright.Ambrose: Niamh?Peter: Go on.Niamh: Is the phone charged up?Ambrose: It is.Niamh: You have the number?Peter: He has. Ah, go on before I change my mind.Ambrose: soundless Thanks.Niamh and Ambrose get into the car and drive away.Scene 14 int: nightEgan's place.Peter is cooking for the food fair. The front door opens and Assumpta comes in. She takes off her coat. She holds a bottle of wine.Assumpta: Hiya! Sorry I'm late.Peter: Hey.Assumpta: Peter?Peter: They’ve gone.Assumpta: Oh, well. Thanks for filling in.Peter: I'm not going anywhere. Louder They never said you were coming.Assumpta: No. Well. Well, I told Ambrose to jump into the river but you know Niamh. She has to get out and...Assumpta arrives in the kitchen.Peter: Your conscience.Assumpta: Guilt.Peter: I'll tell them.Assumpta: Look, it's all right. You don't have to stay.Peter: But I want to stay. I'm all set up.Assumpta: What for?Peter: Beef in ginger, crispy fried duck, mixed vegetables, baked fried rice and bamboo shoots.Assumpta: Well, Kieran is not on solids yet.Peter: But we have wine.Assumpta hands him the bottle and Peter opens it.Assumpta: Is he all right? Do you want me to check on him?Peter: He's fine. Anyway, if he sees you...Assumpta: Hey, if he sees me he smiles.Peter: If he sees me he laughs.Assumpta: Who doesn't?She accepts the glass.Assumpta: You're not gonna get through all this, are you?Peter: Yeah right.Assumpta: It's for the food fair? Well, I thought the theme was supposed to be Far Eastern?Peter dips some celery in a sauce and hands it to Assumpta.Peter: There.Assumpta: Yeah. Good luck.Peter: It's not a competition.Assumpta: Oh, yes it is.Peter: It's a fund raising thing, isn't it? For the CAT scanner?Assumpta: No, there's a silly cup. Look, can I do anything?Peter: Yeah, you can wash up.Assumpta: What, for one lousy piece of celery?Peter: No, you don't understand.He talks American.Peter: There is only one way to beat Capone. He pulls a knife, you pull a gun. He puts one of yours in the hospital, you put one of his in the mud. And that's the Chicago way.Assumpta: Where did you learn?Peter: Party piece.Assumpta: Do you do any others?He turns and looks away.Peter: Priest.Assumpta: Peter, you are a priest.Peter: Amen.Assumpta pulls herself on the dresser.Assumpta: Last time I looked. Peter, what's wrong?Peter: This is very hard for me. Don't know where to start. Have you heard the polar bear joke? Okay. There's a baby polar bear and he's in the sea. He climbs out and runs across the ice up to his mom. He says 'mom are you sure I'm a polar bear?' She says ' don't be silly, of course you are. You have got white fur, you eat fish, you're a polar bear. Don't be mad and go back into the sea.' So he does, but he's not contented. He jumps out and this time he goes to his dad and he says 'dad am I really a polar bear?' He dad says 'what are you talking about? Of course you are a polar bear. You have white fur, you eat fish, you're a polar bear. Why do you ask?' And the baby bear says 'because I'm freezing.' Why am I always thinking of you?Assumpta: Peter, come here.Peter walks towards her and puts his head on her shoulder. He starts crying. Assumpta strikes his hair. Peter starts kissing her neck. Assumpta closes her eyes and then backs off.Assumpta: No, I'm sorry, no. It's just not right.She runs away, leaving Peter behind.Scene 15 int: nightFitzgerald's.Brendan is pouring some drinks. Siobhan and Padraig are at their usual places.Brendan: Suppose I do the decent thing, I could buy one of those pies from you.Padraig: If there's any left.Brendan: Well, always assuming that of course.Padraig: So what's your point?Brendan: I...Siobhan: I think what Brendan is trying to say is, if you dish up the pie and all its rich dark greasy, how are you going the tell the bacon stone from the pieces of meat?Assumpta comes in and goes straight into te kitchen. She seems upset. Brendan, Siobhan and Padraig look at each other. Brendan goes to the kitchen. Assumpta sits at the table and is crying.Brendan: Assumpta, are you alright?Assumpta: I'm fine.Brendan: Only if there's anything I can do.Assumpta: Right.Brendan: Okay.Scene 16 int: nightEgan's place.Peter and Kieran are in the kitchen. Niamh and Ambrose are coming home.Niamh: Well, would you look at that.Ambrose: You either have it or you don't.Peter: I wasn't gonna run away with him.Niamh: I was afraid he might run off with you. Was he any bother?Peter: No, missed his mom an bit. Ambrose: We really appreciated this, Father. Will you have a drink?Peter: They'll be closed.Ambrose: No, come on. Will you not?Peter: No, I better go on. Busy day tomorrow. I'm in court?Ambrose: Oh, right, yeah.Niamh: Thank you, Father.Peter: No problem.Niamh: Goodnight.Peter: Night.Scene 17 int: nightPeter's house.Peter is washing his face. Assumpta knocks at the front door. Peter opens the door. Assumpta is angry.Assumpta: What are you playing at? What are you trying to do to me?Peter: Assumpta, please.Assumpta: Oh, that's what it is. You’re worried about the neighbours now.She goes inside.Assumpta: Well...Peter: Well what? What do you want me to say?Assumpta: I want you to... what do you want?Peter: It's not that simple.Assumpta: It is that simple.Peter: Not from where I'm standing.Assumpta: Oh, for God's sake, Peter. We have moved on.Peter: I'm a Catholic priest.Assumpta: Goes with the territory.Peter: Cheap shot.Assumpta: It's the truth. For you and me it's the truth.She walks passes him.Peter: Assumpta...Assumpta: Yes?Peter hesitates.Assumpta: You know what you are going to do now? You are going to discuss this in a wooden box with a grown man in a frock. And you won't talk to me.Peter: I will. But I just need to think.Assumpta: It's not what's in you head I need to hear.She slams the door. Peter opens it and sees how Brian nearly runs her over.Peter: Brian.Brian: What's going on at all?Peter: Nothing, Brian. Misunderstanding.Brian: Well what did you say to her?Peter: Brian, please.They go inside.Brian: Well, I nearly run her over.Peter: She wouldn't have noticed.Brian: A cup of tea, Brian.Peter: Oh, yeah.Brian: I've always liked this house.Peter: Do you want it back?Brian: I could do with the money. No, I don't want it back. Did you know I wanted to be a priest once?Peter: Oh yeah?Brian: You find that so hard, do you?I went to Fr Mac and he said: 'Brian, Zsa Zsa Gabor will that the fail before you take yours.' Zsa Zsa Gabor was a movie star.Peter: I know, yeah.Brian: He wasn't being cruel. He just knew I didn't have the strength. In certain areas.Peter: Aha.Brian: He said it didn’t make me a bad person. But it was an essential disqualification.Peter: Many are called... What do you want, Brian?Brian: Stability. I'd like to know where I am in my own home town. I'd like to know that the guard is in his barracks, the doctor above his dispensary and your mouthy one belongs in Fitzgerald's. I don't like changes. It's bad for business. But if it's going to happen, I want to know about it. You understand what I'm saying?Peter: Well, I think you are...Brian: Father. Don't kid a kidder.Scene 18 int: dayOn the street near Fitzgerald'sA van is driving through the street. It stops in front of Fitzgerald's. Padraig jumps out and goes inside. He finds the place dark and empty. Assumpta is in the cellar.Padraig: Assumpta?! Cone on, we'll be late.Assumpta: Ooh.Padraig: Assumpta, can't that wait?The lights go on. Assumpa climbs up the stairs.Assumpta: I'm ready.Padraig: Are you sure you know what you're doing?Assumpta: Will we go?They leave Fitzgerald's and go into the van. They head for Cilldargan. Brian passes them.Padraig: Nice of Quigley to give you boys a lift.Liam: We thought so too.Padraig: Is he going to pick up the van with Shamie?Brendan: C'mon Donal. We're gonna beat this rap.Padraig: I see no guilty man here. Not right, Father?Scene 19 int: dayCilldargan court.Everyone is in the courtroom. Ambrose is being heard.Ambrose: I then proceeded to the rear end of the premises where I aprehended three of them slipping out the back door and a further four were being hiding themselves in the cellar.Judge: Including the priest?Peter: I was not hiding!Judge: If you please, Father.Padraig rises his hand.Judge: Mr O'Kelly?Padraig arises.Padraig: Guard Egan, you know the difference between a lock in and a private party?Ambrose: I believe so.Padraig: Perhaps you would tell us?Ambrose: Your Honour.The judge signs him to answer.Ambrose: Your Honour, a lock in is where alcoholic beverages are sold and consumed in a public house, illigally, after closing time.Padraig: And a private party?Ambrose: That's what people call a lock in when they've been arrested.Padraig: Objection.Judge: Just get on with it.Padraig: Guard Egan, on the night in question, when you arrived, what were we drinking?Ambrose: As I recall, you were in the cellar.Padraig: Fixing the lights. But our drinks were on the bar.Judge: You admit you were drinking?Padraig: Absolutely, Your Honour.The judge sighs.Padraig: Guard Egan?Ambrose: There were drinks on the bar.Padraig: What with?Ambrose: Amongst many glasses of all shapes and sizes, I saw a pint of stout. Of what was left of it.Padraig: Did you see it being poured?Ambrose: Your Honour, when a guard on public house duty steps into a bar, which has to be unlocked to let him in, he does not as a rule sees drinks being poured.Padraig: I'll take that as a no.Padraig empties a bag of cans in a bin.Judge: What is that?Padraig: Exhibit A, Your Honour.Judge: Worthington E?Padraig: Very good, Your Honour.Judge: Mr Q'Kelly. You have reached the edge of my envelope of patience, beyond which there is only darkness.Padraig: Absolutely, Your Honour. Now, Miss Fitzgerald, what are these?Assumpta: These are the drinks I was serving after closing time on the night in question.Judge: This helps your case?Assumpta: It was a private party.Peter: To discuss plans for the Ballykissangel Food Fair, who cooks what. It's a Fund Raising, Your Honour for various local...Judge: Yeah, yeah. Do I understand that each of you I see before me are culinary consults?Peter: In our modest way.Judge: You like working with alcohol?Peter: Sorry?Judge: Nothing.Padraig: Look at it very carefully now, Miss Hendley. We want to be absolutely sure.Kathleen: I'm sure.Padraig: Good. Where?Kathleen: It's from my shop. Part of these I sold to Brendan Kearney. But I have to see he buys...Padraig: Only the question. And do you see him in court here today?Judge: Will you stop?Guard Egan, did you see Miss Fitzgerald pour any pints from the tab or bottles from the bar?Ambrose: No, Your Honour.Judge: And you saw no money change hands?Ambrose: No, but like I said...Judge: What d'you expect me to do?Shamie: Good man, Your Honour!Judge: Shut up! What's your speciality?Shamie: Shattles Spoil.The judge signs they're dismissed. Everybody cheers and congratulates each other.Scene 20 int: dayOutside the Cilldargan court.Everyone comes out the building and goes a different way. They chatter.Brian: So, no hard feelings taken. Ambrose?Ambrose: Am I going to believe, Brian, that you're going to cook anything for this Food Fair?Brian: Me? Shamie, where are you going?Shamie: I have to work.Brian: Don't care. I need you.Scene 21 int: dayOn the street near the courtPeter sees Assumpta walk away. He runs after her.Peter: Assumpta, wait.Assumpta: Peter, I...Peter: Assumpta.He grabs her by the waist.Peter: We need to talk.Assumpta nods.Scene 22 int: dayThe Chinese restaurant in CilldarganBrian walks into the kitchen with a bag in his hand. Shamie is preparing meat.Brian: Shamie.Shamie: Mr Quigley, as you can see I...Intercom: Bacon and cabbage.Shamie: Sure I can cope with.Brian: Not at my place, Shamie.He shows Shamie a picture.Brian: Look, can you do this?Shamie: Am I able to do it? Yeah. Do I have the expertise? Yeah. Do I have the time?Shamies boss walks in.Boss: What do you want?Brian: I just wanted a quick word with Mr Chung.Boss: Well, you had it. Go back to work. You're Brian Quigley, aren't you?Brian: Yeah.Boss: Look, he's mine. So eat your hard ware.Brian: Not in here.He leaves.Scene 23 int: dayBy the lake.Assumpta and Peter walk by the lake.Assumpta: What?Peter: Where did it all go wrong?Assumpta: Well, it hasn't yet?Peter: No, I was thinking. It will though.Assumpta: I don't know Peter. I don't know what you want.Peter: I'd like some sleep. I want to do the right thing.Assumpta: By who?Peter: By you. By the church.Assumpta: Well, that's not possible.Peter: I'm saying that it is, I'm trying to tell you want I want.Assumpta: Well, that's no answer. I mean, you can't love us both. I'm sorry, that was stupid.Peter: No, it wasn't. It really wasn't. You must know how I feel about you.Assumpta: How would I know that?Peter: Assumpta, are you serious?I think about you every minute of every day. It's like I work on an auto pilot. I take a wedding, a funeral. I hear confession, I say Mass. I say the words, but it's you that I'm thinking of. I can't sleep because you keep me awake. Am I getting through to you? Apart from that you mean nothing to me.Assumpta: Well, I had no idea.Peter: Assumpta, dogs in the street knew.Assumpta: You think I had gotten married if I knew how you felt?Peter: If you're in love with someone else, sure why not? Were you?Assumpta: I... I liked him. I thought in time, he would drive you out of my head.Peter: Weird, isn't it? How something can sound so accelerating and depressing at the same time?He grabs her by the waist and puts her head against his shoulder. He strikes her hair.Scene 24 int: dayIn the busPeter and Assumpta sit in the bus back to Ballykissangel.Assumpta: So what now?Peter: We do what has to be done. When we figure out what that is.Assumpta: And in the meantime?Peter: Pray.Assumpta: A married woman and a Catholic priest.Peter: Shh!Scene 25 int: daySt Joseph's.Peter sit in the church by the statue of the Blessed Virgin. He prays.Fr Mac sits behind Peter, but Peter doesn't see him. When Peter finishes his prayer, he gets up and turns around. He sees Fr Mac.Peter: Father Mac, you gave me a fright.Fr Mac: I praised. You're all right?Peter: Sure.Fr Mac: Sit down.Peter: Okay.Fr Mac: You look tired.Peter: I'm okay.Fr Mac: Oh, congratulations, beating the rap. I understand you had the best lawyer that no money could buy. You might thank Ambrose some time.Peter: Ambrose?Fr Mac: Ambrose Egan knows as well as everybody else in this town that Brendan Kearney has been buying beer and stout every week in Hendley's. It's a classic legal manoeuvre. It's called the six-pack defence, I believe. But that's not what I wanted to talk to you about.Peter: No?Fr Mac: Remember the first time we met, I told you something about your predecessor.Peter: He only came for the suit.Fr Mac: No one could ever say that about you. That's not a fashion statement, Father. You're a good priest. People tell me and they can't all be wrong. You're not my kind of priest, but then there aren't many of my kind left.What are you going to do?Peter: I'm not sure what you mean, Father.Fr Mac: Have it your way.He goes to get up.Peter: No, please. What?Fr Mac: I have eyes, Father. I have instincts. I know a crisis when I see one.Peter: Can we get some air?They leave the church and walk outside.Fr Mac: So, another one bites the dust.Peter: None of this is simple, Father.Fr Mac: No. I won't make you?Peter: You want me to stay?Fr Mac: I've pushed up your ego enough for one day, Father. The question is, what do you want? And if it's the priesthood, how long till your, how should I put it, moment of truth?Peter: This is different.Fr Mac: Oh, this is the real thing. That's nice.Peter: Want I'm saying is, Father and you know this, I wouldn't expect to meet someone like Assumpta again.Fr Mac: You haven't been outside Ballykissangel that much, Father, have you?Peter: So?Fr Mac: The country is full of Assumpta Fitzgerald's.He walks away, leaving Peter behind, unbelieving.Scene 26 int: dayFitzgerald'sPeter walks to Fitzgerald’s and goes in. Assumpta, Brendan, Siobhan and Padraig are decorating the pub for the food fair.Peter looks around, smiles at Assumpta and then leaves without saying a word. Brendan notices Assumpta blushing.Scene 27 int: dayA phone-cell / Fitzgerald'sPeter walks to the phone-cell. He rings Fitzgerald's.Assumpta: Fitzgerald's.Peter: I hear you're everywhere. All over the country.Assumpta: Peter?Peter: But I don't think so. I think there's only one of you and I can't let you go. I love you. I want you in my life and I'll do everything it takes. Whatever you want. Just don't run away from me.Padraig: You're all right, Assumpta?Assumpta: What?Brendan: No bad news I hope?Peter: Assumpta?Assumpta: No.Peter: Assumpta, speak to me, please.Assumpta: Will I have to go to church?Scene 28 int: dayBy the lakePeter and Assumpta walk by the lake.Peter: Is this really happening?Assumpta: It better be.Peter: What am I going to do?Assumpta: What?Peter: For a living?Assumpta: Oh, well, you can forget Pope for a start.Peter: I don't suppose there's anything going at your place?Assumpta: Ah, you see, the thing is, I hardly know you at all. You could be an alcoholic for all I know.Peter: So, who's looking after the bar now?Assumpta: Erm, Brendan, Siobhan and Padraig.Peter: Aha, aha.Assumpta: Okay, okay, so the job is yours. Look, I have to get back.Peter grabs her hands.Peter: I know what I'm doing.Assumpta: This is a big step for me too.Peter: I know. You could have held out for a bishop. I won't let you down.Assumpta: Well, you'll never get to heaven if you break my heart.Assumpta walks away.Scene 29 int: eveningFitzgerald'sIt's raining outside. A van stops and a man jumps out, carrying a box. Inside it's crowded. There's food on the tables. Michael and Fr Mac are inspecting the plates. Brian tastes something.Niamh: It's not here to be admired: it's here to be paid for.Brian: I only had a taste.Niamh: That means you bought it.Brian: What?Padraig: Come on, pay the woman.Siobhan: Miser.Michael: Your own daughter.Shamie: Coming through!Brian: Come, here is space. Come here.Brian puts a plate on the bar.Niamh: Dad, do you mind?Brian: Yes, fine. I'll buy it.Niamh: What about the competition.Brian: Sorry, Love. Meet the winner.Niamh: What?Brian: Put it down there, Shamie.Brian takes of the lid and a turkey is shown. Brian takes out the flag and reads it.Brian: Read 'em and weep.Brendan: It's a turkey.Brian: That's what you think.Siobhan: It is a turkey.Brian: Yes, but have you see up it’s jacksy?Brendan: This is part of the culinary experience, is it?Brian: Well, inside this turkey is a duck. Inside the duck is a capon. And inside the capon is a quail.Padraig: Hungry bird.Brendan: And how in the name of God is this Oriental, if you don't mind me asking?Brian: It says 'a Ming dynasty emperor'.Siobhan: Don't you mean the whole dynasty?Padraig: Doesn't matter. It's not a pularian.Brian: Why not?Padraig: Cooked by a professional chef.Brian: Shamie? He's from my restaurant.Shamie: Damn right I'm a professional. I've cooked everyone's food in here tonight, except the priest's.Everyone feels betrayed. Assumpta smiles and walks to the other end of the bar. Peter follows her.Peter: You've got a minute?Assumpta: Sure.They walk to the far end of the bar.Peter: I love you.Assumpta blushes. She whispers.Assumpta: Would you take that thing off before you say things like that?Peter: I can't help it.Assumpta: I know.The lights flicker and go off.Padraig: I'll go.Assumpta: No, stay.She goes into the cellar. Peter picks up his glass and goes back to the party. He runs into Brendan.Brendan: You're looking awfully pleased with yourself.Padraig: A cat who's got the cream.Brendan: I think I know why.He looks at a point behind Peter.Brendan: That's yours, isn't it?Peter turns around and sees Michael holding up the cup.Peter: Oh.Brian: They didn't even look at mine!The lights go on and then immediately off again with a bang. Peter runs to the cellar, followed by Brendan.Peter: Assumpta?!When he goes down, he sees Assumpta lying on the ground, unconscious.Peter: Assumpta?!Brendan: My God. Doc, Michael, come down quick.Peter: Assumpta, can you hear me?Padraig: Oh, my God.Peter: Assumpta? Assumpta, speak to me.Michael: Peter, let me. Niamh, cardiac ambulance!Peter: Oh, God.He sinks down, head in his hands. He starts sniffing, then crying.Michael: Brendan, can you do mouth-to-mouth?Brendan: I can.Michael: Two breathes.They start CPR. Peter grabs Assumpta's hand.Peter: Come on, Assumpta. Don't leave me.Fr Mac: Father Clifford, you're still an andated priest.Peter: What?Fr Mac: I'm thinking of her.Peter: What?!Fr Mac: If you don't to this, I will. The sacraments. The last rites.Peter: No! No!Fr Mac: You must.Peter: No way!Fr Mac: It's your duty.Peter: To whom?!Peter thinks back to the time he and Assumpta were discussing this issue.Peter: I'd do the same for you too.Assumpta: Give me the last rites?Peter: I wasn't being facetious.Assumpta: You're being a bit bloody hopeful. You would come anyway, wouldn't you? Knowing you weren't wanted?Michael: I'm afraid it's no good.He stops with the CPR.Fr Mac: Father, we are talking about her immortal soul. In which you believe.Peter: But she doesn't.Fr Mac: Maybe.Peter: Maybe?!Fr Mac: Father, this is an argument you and I can have at any time. Assumpta doesn't have time. One of us must do this. Now.Brendan: Peter, I know how she felt. If she was right, what difference does it make? It's just a little bit of mumbo-jumbo. So what?Niamh: So what if she needs it anyway? Isn't it what you believe?Peter: Yes.Niamh: Please, Father. Do it. Do it for her.Fr Mac: I think she'd rather you doing it.Peter: Just go. Please.They leave him alone. When they are all gone, he gives Assumpta the last rites, while tears drop from his cheeks.Peter: I'm sorry.Through this holy oiling, may the Lord in his love and mercy help you with the grace of the holy Spirit. Amen. May the Lord reprise you sins and save you and praise you up. Amen.Assumpta is being carried out on a stretcher. It's still raining cats and dogs, but everybody goes to the street. Brendan puts his hand upon Peter shoulder.Brendan: Peter.Peter backs off and walks away to the bridge.Padraig: Brendan.Padraig points at Peter.Brendan: Let him go.Peter walks to the bridge. There the rips off his dog collar and throws in into the river and lays his head on the stones.
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