BALLYKISSANGEL

Episode 3.3

"CHANGING TIMES!"

Written by Rio Fanning

Directed by Paul Harrison

Produced by Chris Griffin

Transcribed by Margaret Pattison

 

SCENE

Mountain in distance. Brendan, wearing a hiking hat, walks toward the mountain. Kevin is behind him.

 

KEVIN

                (looks behind him, gestures impatiently) Come on lads, keep up.

 

Five girls follow him.

 

CUT TO

Wooded area. Brendan is making his way through the woods, bent over slightly to avoid branches. Kevin is following him.

 

BRENDAN

                Kilnashee. (turns briefly to Kevin) What does that mean, Kevin?

 

KEVIN

                Uh...Wood of the fairies.

 

BRENDAN

                Correct. Very good. (points off into the distance, reverently) And over there...is where the badgers live.

 

Shot of several pairs of feet walking through the woods.

 

BRENDAN

                And what do we call where a badger lives?

 

CHILDREN

                A dest. (??)

 

There is a single-file line of children following Brendan. Most of them are girls.

 

BRENDAN

                Well done. Very good. They'll have cubs down there now.

 

GIRL

                And when were they born?

 

CUT TO

Top of a smokestack. An engine starts up. Smoke belches out of the smokestack.

 

CUT TO

Woods. Brendan and the children are walking through the woods.

 

BRENDAN

                Well it's April now. So any time during January and March. (he kneels down to look at a spot on the ground. The children gather around) Usually March around here.

 

KEVIN

                Can we see them?

 

BRENDAN

                Ah not just yet. They won't be up for a few weeks yet, until they're eight weeks old.

 

CUT TO

Caterpillar tracks. A large piece of equipment on caterpillars is rolling across some grass, leaving tracks. Three pairs of feet follow.

 

CUT TO

Woods. Brendan looks up, apparently having heard something. He walks over the crest of the ridge. He sees a bulldozer. He looks concerned. His mouth hardens. The bulldozer rolls closer. The children gather around Brendan. Most of them are boys. The bulldozer lowers its shovel. Brian, Liam and Donal emerge from behind it. Brendan's eyes get big. Liam leans on the shovel and looks cocky.

 

ROLL TITLES

 

SCENE

Peter's bedroom. Focus on crucifix over bed, pan down to the bed. Peter is lying there with his eyes open, staring up at the ceiling. His bedsheets are a stripy geometric design in various shades of grey. The church bell starts ringing. Peter rolls over and stares at the wall. He looks bored. The church bell continues to ring. Peter frowns. He sits up in bed, throws the cover back and gets up, panicked. He is wearing a grey T-shirt and what looks for all the world like baby blue scrubs.

 

CUT TO

St. Joseph's interior. The church bell is still ringing. A shiny wooden coffin topped with a bouquet of blue flowers is set up at the front of the church. Father MacAnally is standing behind it, rocking nervously from one foot to the other. He is wearing a white vestment with a red stola. He smiles imperceptibly at the congregation.

 

CUT TO

Congregation. Five people in dark clothes are sitting in the pews. One of them blows her nose. Another smiles.

 

CUT TO

Street outside St. Joseph's. Peter comes tearing up the street. He is wearing his black uniform. He races in through the gate.

 

CUT TO

St. Joseph's interior. Another shot of the pews. Three other people are sitting in those pews. In the background, a door can be heard opening. Fr Mac looks off to the side, then goes to the vestry.

 

CUT TO

Vestry. Peter is frantically taking a robe off of a hanger on the back of the vestry door. The door opens. Fr Mac enters and closes the door quickly.

 

FR MAC

                (livid) Father this is unforgivable!

 

Peter fumbles with the robe.

 

FR MAC

                It shows no respect for the bereaved! Who asked especially for you!

 

PETER

                (trying to find the opening of the robe, mumbles) I know, I'm sorry, I overslept.

 

FR MAC

                Well that's an excuse, not a reason!

 

PETER

                (stops fumbling with the robe, slightly impatiently) Look I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

 

Fr Mac looks at watch and harrumphs.

 

SCENE

Field. In the distance is a mountain. Lots of heavy machinery is parked around the field. Men in hard hats stand around aimlessly. A red truck drives across the field.

 

CUT TO

Woods. Michael, Brendan, and Siobhan are standing in front of a fence at the edge of the woods.

 

MICHAEL

                And so Quigley's going to cut the road through the middle, is that it?

 

BRENDAN

                Well that's what they told me, Michael.

 

SIOBHAN

                Well the wood is too small to take such a fracture. Be the end of the badgers. And the orchids. (looks seriously from Brendan to Michael, then off into the distance, presumably at the hardware)

 

MICHAEL

                (takes a couple of steps away, stops and turns back to Brendan and Siobhan) Does Brian know about them? The badgers?

 

Siobhan gives him a look that says what would that matter even if he did? Brendan looks toward the equipment.

 

SCENE

Ballykissangel street in front of the garda house. Brian unloads a monstrosity of a red pram from the back of his car and sets it down heavily on the street, then reaches back into the car for something else. Niamh is standing there watching him.

 

NIAMH

                I don't know what to say Dad.

 

BRIAN

                Well, (unloads a humongous stuffed panda bear, slightly harried) thanks would do nicely! (plops the panda down on the pram and exhales hard, pushes the pram toward the house)

 

Niamh smiles.

 

CUT TO

Garda house interior. Ambrose comes up the stairs, a consternated expression on his face. A door closes.

 

AMBROSE

                What's this?

 

Brian and Niamh are in the entryway. Brian maneuvers the pram into position. Niamh is carrying the baby. She smiles nervously at Ambrose.

 

BRIAN

                Just a couple of items for my grandson.

 

AMBROSE

                (shortly) My mother's already given us a pram.

 

BRIAN

                (still trying to maneuver the pram into position) Not like this she hasn't.

 

AMBROSE

                (haughtily) I agree we don't have a pram like that, Brian, but we don't want--

 

NIAMH

                (quickly) Have you seen the panda, Ambrose?

 

Brian holds the bear up for appraisal.

 

AMBROSE

                (negatively) It's too big for the car.

 

BRIAN

                (soothingly) It stands in the corner of the baby's room.

 

AMBROSE

                It's too big for the baby's room, give the child nightmares.

 

NIAMH

                No it won't, it's meant to comfort, to cuddle.

 

Brian cuddles the panda.

 

AMBROSE

                You'd want to be Arnold Schwarzenegger to give that a cuddle.

 

BRIAN

                (to Niamh) You look tired.

 

NIAMH

                The baby was up all night.

 

She walks off screen to the left. Brian follows her with the panda.

 

BRIAN

                This woman needs her rest.

 

CUT TO

Stairs. Niamh descends, holding the baby. Brian follows her with the panda. They walk past Ambrose, who stands on the stairs.

 

BRIAN

                She needs time to recover.

 

Niamh rolls her eyes. Brian bumps Ambrose with the panda.

 

NIAMH

                I can cope Dad.

 

BRIAN

                I'll arrange for someone to come in and look after Kieran.

 

AMBROSE

                (gets wide eyes) No you won't! (goes down the stairs after them)

 

CUT TO

Kitchen interior. Brian sets the panda down on a chair. Ambrose enters.

 

AMBROSE

                If Niamh wants help, I'm the one to give it.

 

BRIAN

                I can afford it.

 

AMBROSE

                (getting all worked up) Niamh's my wife, Kieran's my baby.

 

Niamh is behind Ambrose, putting Kieran down.

 

BRIAN

                (getting even more worked up) Niamh's my daughter, Kieran's my grandson.

 

AMBROSE

                No.

 

BRIAN

                You drive me mad sometimes. (leaves in a huff)

 

AMBROSE

                (exhales, pinches his lips together, turns around to Niamh) From now on, if the baby cries in the night, I get up.

 

NIAMH

                You work all day.

 

AMBROSE

                So do you.

 

NIAMH

                You're a policeman.

 

AMBROSE

                You're a housewife.

 

Niamh looks scornful.

 

AMBROSE

                And I'm not arguing.

 

NIAMH

                (gives in, smiles) I love you.

 

AMBROSE

                (trying to remain firm) Don't change the subject.

 

NIAMH

                I still love you.

 

AMBROSE

                (smiles tenderly) And I love you.

 

They kiss. Kieran starts to fuss. They look down at him with regret.

 

SCENE

Blue truck. Through the back window of a blue truck, we can see two people necking.

 

CUT TO

Truck interior. It is Sue Ellen and Donal in the lip lock. Liam is driving. He looks at them with impatience. They lean toward Liam. He pushes them back with his elbow. Liam looks fed up. He makes the truck swerve on purpose.

 

CUT TO

Road. The blue truck swerves from one side of the road to the other. Sue Ellen and Donal retain their hold on each other. Liam raises his hands in surrender.

 

CUT TO

Truck interior. Sue Ellen and Donal are sucking face.

 

CUT TO

Back of truck. The truck drives away. Sue Ellen and Donal are still going at it.

 

SCENE

Eamonn's farm. Eamonn is sitting on an upturned bucket outside his house.

 

CUT TO

Farm yard. The blue truck drives into the yard. Sue Ellen and Donal are still kissing. Liam stops the truck and looks down. He sees Eamonn sitting on the bucket with his back to him. Eamonn doesn't move. Liam looks mischievous. He laughs. He taps Donal on the shoulder.

 

LIAM

                Donal, Donal.

 

Liam laughs and nods out the window at Eamonn's back. Donal and Sue Ellen break for air. They turn around to see what Liam is laughing at.

 

DONAL

                (calls through the window to Eamonn) Why are you sitting on a bucket?

 

LIAM

                The toilet's cracked up! (laughs hard)

 

SUE ELLEN

                (whacks Liam in the arm, reproachfully) Liam!

 

Donal climbs down from the truck.

 

LIAM

                What?

 

Sue Ellen gets out, too.

 

DONAL

                (walks around the front of the truck, goes over to Eamonn) You all right, Eamonn?

 

LIAM

                (gets out of the truck, slams the door) Donal, we have a window to fix, we haven't got all day.

 

Donal puts his hands in his pockets.

 

EAMONN

                (dolefully) That house is trying to kill me.

 

DONAL

                It's only a bit of damp in the windowsill we'll have it fixed in no time.

 

EAMONN

                (keeps his gaze fixed on the house) It's like a morgue.

 

Donal leans in.

 

EAMONN

                (raises his finger in challenge to the house) And I'm not dead yet.

 

Liam shakes his head and taps his head with his index finger, indicating that Eamonn is off his rocker. He goes back to the truck.

 

SUE ELLEN

                Has his head gone?

 

LIAM

                Nah, he was never on a full shilling. (chortles and opens the truck door)

 

Sue Ellen walks over to Eamonn, morbidly curious.

 

DONAL

                Come on Eamonn, what's the matter?

 

Sue Ellen leans over behind Eamonn.

 

EAMONN

                I prefer to live in the barn. At least I'd have the pigs to keep me company.

 

Donal hangs his head. Sue Ellen pulls him towards her by his collar. She whispers in Donal's ear. It looks like she whispers, "He's crazy."

 

DONAL

                (amused) God you might be right.

 

LIAM

                (rejoins the group) What?

 

Donal whispers in Liam's ear. It looks like he whispers something else entirely. Liam smiles broadly.

 

LIAM

                Ho ho, yeah! (walks away)

 

DONAL

                (kneels down in front of Eamonn) You know what your trouble is Eamonn? (flicks a glance at Sue Ellen, then back to Eamonn) You need a woman.

 

EAMONN

                (squeaks) Wha--?

 

Donal nods seriously. Eamonn turns around to look at Sue Ellen.

 

SCENE

Fitzgerald's interior. Assumpta, behind the bar, is carrying a sandwich and a bowl of soup to Padraig, who is sitting at the end of the bar.

 

MICHAEL

                (off-screen, reasonably) Brian, you could always put the road round the woods.

 

Assumpta sets the sandwich down in front of Padraig.

 

PADRAIG

                Thank you Assumpta.

 

ASSUMPTA

                That's OK. (sets the soup bowl down, too)

 

BRIAN

                (off-screen) Thousands upon thousands of pounds more.

 

CUT TO

Tables. Brian is sitting at a table by the window. Michael is standing next to the table, leaning against it with both hands. Brendan is walking around behind Brian, his hat in one hand and his coat slung over his arm.

 

BRENDAN

                Brian, you can always make money. But you cannot make a tree.

 

CUT TO

Pub entrance. Peter enters and closes the door. He sees the men. He walks over to the bar and takes a seat in the middle.

 

BRENDAN

                (off-screen) And you cannot make an orchid. And you cannot make the badger.

 

PETER

                (to Assumpta) What's going on?

 

ASSUMPTA

                Och, Quigley wants to build a road through Kilnashee.

 

CUT TO

Tables. Siobhan and Michael are taking seats at Brian's table. Brendan is perched on a seat to the side.

 

BRIAN

                An orchid, a badger. And for that you're going to risk the prosperity of the district?

 

PADRAIG

                I could do with some continual prosperity.

 

ASSUMPTA

                Mm-hm, you're right there Padraig.

 

BRIAN

                You've had enough prosperity out of me, O'Kelley.

 

ASSUMPTA

                Look, speaking for myself, I just--

 

MICHAEL

                (interrupts) Father Clifford, what do you say?

 

PETER

                Michael, I don't want to get involved.

 

BRIAN

                Sound man, stay out of it.

 

Assumpta walks away. Peter looks annoyed at Brian's comment, but keeps his mouth shut and looks away.

 

SIOBHAN

                Well have an opinion at least.

 

PETER

                (sighs, looks put upon) If I must.

 

Assumpta returns with a pot of coffee and a mug. She pours coffee into the mug.

 

PETER

                Why don't you put the road round the wood.

 

MICHAEL

                My words precisely.

 

BRIAN

                No.

 

PETER

                Fine.

 

BRENDAN

                Gonna leave it at that then Peter?

 

PETER

                I gave my opinion, he's not interested.

 

Assumpta sets the coffee mug down in front of Peter.

 

BRIAN

                Well I tell you what I'll do then. To save Father Clifford's face here. I won't rush at the wood. I'll think about it.

 

MICHAEL

                That's not good enough.

 

BRIAN

                It's all you'll get and take it or leave it.

 

Brendan, Siobhan, and Michael look at each other helplessly.

 

BRENDAN

                Well we'll take it for the minute then.  But we'll be watching you Brian.

 

BRIAN

                Sure I'm used to that. (stands) Come on. I'll buy you a drink.

 

Brendan, Siobhan, and Michael look at each other, somewhat pleased. They all move to get up.

 

SCENE

Garda house exterior. Night. Through the window, we can see Ambrose caring for Kieran, who is fussing.

 

CUT TO

Hallway interior. Niamh, wearing a bathrobe, is walking down the hallway carrying a bottle of milk. We can hear Kieran fussing.

 

CUT TO

Egans' kitchen interior. Ambrose, also wearing a robe, is holding Kieran. Ambrose looks beat.

 

NIAMH

                Ambrose, it's nearly daylight. Let me take over.

 

AMBROSE

                Go back to bed.

 

NIAMH

                Will you get some sleep. (puts the bottle down on the counter)

 

AMBROSE

                I'm dealing with it. (puts Kieran down in a bassinet)

 

NIAMH

                Ambrose don't be so stubborn. You're doing more than your fair share.

 

AMBROSE

                (turns to Niamh urgently, sotto voce) Niamh!

 

NIAMH

                It's all right. (casts an eye on Kieran, leaves)

 

AMROSE

                (turns to look at Kieran, who is now asleep) He's sleeping!

 

NIAMH

                (out in the hall, turns and whispers) Then bring him up to bed.

 

AMBROSE

                (nods, turns to Kieran, stops) Niamh?

 

NIAMH

                (whispers) What?

 

AMBROSE

                (turns to Niamh) He's stopped breathing.

 

NIAMH

                (hurries back into the kitchen) What? (goes over to the bassinet and looks at Kieran)

 

AMBROSE

                Is he breathing?

 

NIAMH

                (pulls her hair back from her face, leans over, panicky) Oh I can't tell!

 

AMBROSE

                I can't see any movement, can you?

 

NIAMH

                No.

 

AMBROSE

                Kieran...

 

Kieran cries.

 

NIAMH

                (sighs in relief, to Ambrose) Oh you big eejit!

 

Ambrose heaves a sigh, too. Niamh leaves. Ambrose runs his hand over his head. Kieran cries.

 

SCENE

Irish scenery. A mountain is in the distance. Mists blow lightly across the fields. A truck drives along a dirt road.

 

SCENE

Office interior. Eamonn is standing on a chair, wearing a suit. His hair is slicked down, and he has a red kerchief in his breast pocket. Sue Ellen is kneeling down, pulling cobwebs off Eamonn's pants legs. Donal slowly turns Eamonn around on the chair.

 

DONAL

                Be counting on every eligible woman from here to Belfast sniffing round your ankles.

 

SUE ELLEN

                How can you sniff it, you smell of torf food. (stands)

 

EAMONN

                (turns to Sue Ellen, defensively) What's wrong with that?

 

SUE ELLEN

                No woman wants to be reminded of cooking.

 

Liam is standing to the side, leaning against a file cabinet. He rolls his eyes and looks impatient.

 

SUE ELLEN

                They like a nice clean smell on a man. (sprays Eamonn from head to foot with an aerosol spray)

 

Eamonn tries to ward off the spray with his hands.

 

DONAL

                She's right there. They have noses like dogs, women. (closes his eyes against the spray)

 

BRIAN

                (enters, wearing a red hard hat and carrying a box with rolls of paper sticking out) What's going on? No civilians on the work site-- What...? (gapes at Eamonn)

 

Sue Ellen, Donal, and Eamonn look like they've been caught red-handed.

 

BRIAN

                Out you go the both of you. (walks over to Liam and hands him the box)

 

LIAM

                I told them, Mr. Quigley.

 

Brian takes a roll of paper out of the box.

 

SUE ELLEN

                Come on, Eamonn.

 

Sue Ellen and Donal help Eamonn down off the chair. Sue Ellen leads him to the door. They leave.

 

BRIAN

                And you two. The survey's nearly finished. (takes another roll of paper out of the box) Get ready to doze down that wood this afternoon.

 

SCENE

Fitzgerald's interior. Padraig and Brendan are sitting at the end of the bar. Padraig looks bored. Brendan is reading the newspaper. Assumpta is fixing the coffee maker with a screwdriver. It is deathly still.

 

PADRAIG

                (to Brendan) Did you see the pram that Quigley bought the kid?

 

BRENDAN

                (raises one eyebrow, looks at Padraig, slightly annoyed that he has interrupted his newspaper reading to ask that question) Not yet.

 

The phone rings. Assumpta jumps to answer it. She runs over to the B&B desk. A fire is burning in the fireplace.

 

ASSUMPTA

                Fitzgerald's?

 

Brendan takes a sip of his stout.

 

PADRAIG

                I mean, luxury isn't the word for it. It's got four wheel drive and a chauffeur.

 

BRENDAN

                (not taking his eyes from his paper) Ah well. That's Mr Quigley for you.

 

ASSUMPTA

                Brendan? (leans around the glass partition holding the telephone receiver) Siobhan.

 

BRENDAN

                (folds up his newspaper, pleased) Ah. (tosses newspaper onto the counter, stands up and walks toward the back)

 

The pub door opens.

 

BRENDAN

                Good afternoon Peter.

 

The pub door closes. Peter enters.

 

PETER

                Hiya Brendan. (walks over to the bar, carrying a stuffed badger, sets the toy down on the bar and takes a seat) So. I think Quigley's cutting down the wood after all.

 

ASSUMPTA

                Is he?

 

PADRAIG

                So he thought of everything.

 

PETER

                Looks like it.

 

BRENDAN

                (from behind the glass partition, hangs up the phone, distressed) Quigley's gonna never (??) the wood!

 

PETER

                (calmly) I've just said.

 

BRENDAN

                (walks quickly back to the end of the bar) I'm going down there. Siobhan and Michael are on their way. (to Padraig) Are you coming?

 

PADRAIG

                I never imagined I'd hear myself say this.

 

Brendan squeezes his eyes shut.

 

PADRAIG

                But prosperity is a hell of a sight more important than a few lousy orchids.

 

BRENDAN

                (puts on his coat) Am I hearing this or am I dreaming?

 

PADRAIG

                Just because we're friends doesn't mean I have to go along with everything you say and do, I have a mind of my own, I have needs of my own.

 

BRENDAN

                Nobody says you haven't.

 

PADRAIG

                So I have to face poverty, and you have a monthly wage and a pension? Now, that is not friendship. That is selfishness.

 

BRENDAN

                (appeals to Peter and Assumpta) Where has he gotten now? (to Padraig) I haven't time for this Padraig. (turns and grabs his newspaper from the bar) I'm out of here. (leaves)

 

PETER

                (to Assumpta) What about you?

 

ASSUMPTA

                Oh I'm with Padraig. (removes top of coffee maker, carries it over to the bar) I'm on Quigley's side. And you? So how are you taking it?

 

PETER

                I'm taking...this (picks up toy badger) over to the new baby. (stands and leaves)

 

Padraig and Assumpta look at each other uncertainly.

 

SCENE

Road. An ancient yellow mini is driving along the road.

 

EAMONN

                If only I knew...who am I going to see?

 

CUT TO

Car interior. Eamonn is driving. Sue Ellen is in the passenger seat, trying to put on the seat belt.

 

SUE ELLEN

                The ideal woman. (pulls on seat belt, but it seems to be too short)

 

EAMONN

                Who, though?

 

SUE ELLEN

                Just wait and see. (pulls on seat belt some more)

 

EAMONN

                I'm frightened out of me wits.

 

SUE ELLEN

                (inspects belt buckle) I know exactly what I'm doing Eamonn. Come from a long line of matchmakers. (manages to get the belt to buckle, but just barely)

 

SCENE

Another road. A black car and a blue jeep tear along the road.

 

CUT TO

Construction site. The black car and the blue jeep roar across the field, past some equipment. They stop in front of a big yellow bulldozer. Brian is standing next to the bulldozer, wearing a red hard hat. Siobhan gets out of the jeep.

 

SIOBHAN

                (angrily) You broke your word Brian.

 

BRIAN

                I said I'd think about it.

 

Siobhan is now flanked by Michael and Brendan.

 

BRENDAN

                (points his finger at Brian) You led us to believe something different Brian.

 

Donal is standing up on the bulldozer, next to the cab.

 

BRIAN

                That's your problem. Now get off my land or I'll have the law on you.

 

Liam comes out of the cab of the bulldozer, stands on the opposite side from Donal.

 

MICHAEL

                We shall not be moved.

 

BRIAN

                We'll see about that. (walks away)

 

LIAM

                Look we can throw them off, Mr. Quigley. (jumps down off the bulldozer, follows Brian)

 

BRIAN

                No, that'll be what they want. (walks across the field, pulls out a mobile phone) We must keep this quiet. If the news spreads we'll have green bandits and environmental leprechauns coming at us from all sides. Worse, we'll have the press. (puts the phone to his ear) Come on answer, why don't you?

 

In the background, a blue dump truck drives across the field. Some men in hard hats are standing around.

 

SCENE

Ambrose's office interior. Ambrose is sound asleep across his desk. The phone is ringing. Ambrose is unmoved.

 

CUT TO

Hallway. Niamh walks into the hall from the kitchen and peeks in Ambrose's door. The phone is still ringing inside. Upstairs, someone taps at the door. Niamh goes upstairs.

 

CUT TO

Door. The phone is still ringing downstairs. Niamh opens the door. It is Peter.

 

NIAMH

                Father. (her gaze goes to the toy badger. She looks less than pleased)

 

PETER

                Niamh. (holds up the toy badger) I've come to see the baby.

 

NIAMH

                (smiles, relieved) Oh. Well come in.

 

Peter enters.

 

NIAMH

                Go on into the kitchen. I'll be with you in a minute.

 

The phone is still ringing. Niamh closes the door.

 

CUT TO

Ambrose's office interior. Ambrose is still sound asleep on his desk.  The phone is still ringing. Niamh opens the door. The phone stops ringing.

 

NIAMH

                Ambrose!

 

AMBROSE

                (stirs, sits up, sleepily) Hm. What.

 

NIAMH

                The phone.

 

AMBROSE

                What about it?

 

NIAMH

                It's ringing.

 

AMBROSE

                (puzzled) No it's not.

 

NIAMH

                You were asleep.

 

AMBROSE

                No I wasn't.

 

Niamh leaves, looking troubled. She closes the door. Ambrose sniffs and rubs his nose with his thumb. His elbow slips off the table. He groans and rubs his face with the palm of his hand.

 

SCENE

Construction site. The place is busy. Trucks drive around, men in hard hats swing tools. Brian is walking with Liam.

 

BRIAN

                Keep an eye on them. Don't let them get up to mischief. (takes off hard hat and tosses it to Liam)

 

LIAM

                (catches hard hat) Right Mr. Quigley. (goes back)

 

Brian gets into his car. A billboard behind him announces, "QUIGLEY DEVELOPMENTS -- WAHDONG" with a picture of three men in hard hats (possibly Brian and two Koreans) looking at a blueprint, behind them an artist's rendering of an office complex. Some Chinese characters float in the air over the building (I know Brian's supposed to be doing this deal with some Koreans, but I know what Korean looks like, and that ain't it!) Brian starts the engine and backs up.

 

SCENE

 

SUE ELLEN

                (smiling) Here we are.

 

Eamonn, standing behind Sue Ellen, looks shocked. They are standing in front of Hendley's.

 

EAMONN

                Kathleen?! (he tries to make a break for it)

 

SUE ELLEN

                (grabs Eamonn's arm) She won't bite you! (pulls him up the steps)

 

EAMONN

                No!

 

Sue Ellen opens the door and pushes Eamonn in.

 

CUT TO

Hendley's interior. Eamonn enters, having been pushed by Sue Ellen. Sue Ellen runs away down the steps. Eamonn timidly looks toward the back of the store.

 

EAMONN

                Hello?

 

Kathleen comes in from the back of the store. She is carrying a yellow box. The door chime tinkles. The door closes. Kathleen sees Eamonn, frowns, goes behind the counter.

 

KATHLEEN

                You're all dressed up like a dog's dinner. (starts re-stocking a shelf behind the cash register with items from the box in her hand)

 

EAMONN

                And I had a bath this morning.

 

KATHLEEN

                I'm sure it's not before time.

 

EAMONN

                I usually have it of a Saturday night.

 

KATHLEEN

                Do you?

 

EAMONN

                (nods, adds) If I have one at all.

 

Kathleen gives him a look, continues stocking her shelf.

 

EAMONN

                Women's nose, eh?

 

KATHLEEN

                What's up with my nose?

 

EAMONN

                It's more sensitive than a man's.

 

Kathleen looks at Eamonn, puzzled.

 

EAMONN

                Smell that. (he is not in the shot, so it's unclear what he wants Kathleen to smell)

 

KATHLEEN

                I think that bath has softened your brain.

 

EAMONN

                (holds his hand out toward Kathleen) Sniff.

 

Kathleen looks unwilling, but gingerly approaches Eamonn and sniffs in his general direction.

 

KATHLEEN

                Turf smoke.

 

EAMONN

                (crestfallen) Oh. (lifts his hand to his nose and takes a tentative whiff)

 

KATHLEEN

                Eamonn, what's going on?

 

The door chime tinkles.

 

KATHLEEN

                You're making me nervous.

 

FR MAC

                Nervous? (stands behind Eamonn) Is everything all right?

 

Kathleen looks at Eamonn.

 

EAMONN

                (holds his hand up to his face so that Fr Mac cannot see him) Oh chilly mac! (??) (leaves)

 

SCENE

Egans' kitchen interior. Kieran is lying in his bassinet. He is wearing a blue knit outfit and looks extremely cute. He has his fist around Peter's pinky. The stuffed badger is lying in the bassinet next to Kieran.

 

NIAMH

                Say thank you to Uncle Peter. (coaxes) Go on, give Uncle Peter a big smile.

 

PETER

                (looks at Niamh skeptically) Uncle Peter?

 

NIAMH

                (confidentially) It might confuse him if I keep calling you Father.

 

PETER

                (amused yet enlightened) I hadn't thought of that.

 

NIAMH

                Till he learns the difference. You don't mind, do you?

 

PETER

                I shall quite enjoy being his uncle.

 

NIAMH

                (cooing at Kieran) Lovely cuddly badger, eh, Kieran? When you're old enough, we'll bring you up to see the real ones in Kilnashee.

 

A door opens. Niamh and Peter turn around.

 

CUT TO

Hallway. Brian enters from outside. He slams the door and walks quickly toward the kitchen.

 

CUT TO

Kitchen.

 

PETER

                I wouldn't bank on it.

 

CUT TO

Hallway. Brian takes off his hat and walks into the kitchen.

 

BRIAN

                (impatiently) Where's Ambrose?

 

CUT TO

Kitchen.

 

NIAMH

                What's the matter?

 

BRIAN

                I've been ringing, where is he?

 

NIAMH

                He's in the office.

 

Brian walks out the other door toward the office. Niamh follows him.

 

CUT TO

Ambrose's office interior. The door opens. Brian enters, followed by Niamh. Ambrose is zonked out again on the desk.

 

BRIAN

                Look at this. Our safety in his hands.

 

NIAMH

                (sympathetically) Ambrose... (walks over to him)

 

BRIAN

                While this man is on duty, do we need to lock our doors?

 

NIAMH

                (shakes Ambrose's shoulder gently, whispers) Ambrose...

 

AMBROSE

                (sits up, sleepily) What? Time to get up?

 

BRIAN

                (demands) I want you up at the site at once.

 

Peter walks up behind Brian and hangs out in the doorway, eavesdropping.

 

AMBROSE

                (thickly) What for?

 

BRIAN

                (disdainfully) A bunch of eejits trespassing trying to stop the work.

 

PETER

                You said you wouldn't touch the wood.

 

BRIAN

                (turns to Peter) I said I'd think about it, I thought about it, (turns back to Ambrose) I'm cutting it down.

 

PETER

                No wonder they're protesting then.

 

BRIAN

                (turning from Peter to Niamh) We can't have frogs and toads, and hooting bloody owls dictating how we earn a living.

 

NIAMH

                (pleads) Put the road round the wood, Dad.

 

BRIAN

                This is nothing got to do with you. Either of you.

 

NIAMH

                (glancing at Peter, offended at Brian's rudeness to the priest) Dad!

 

PETER

                No no, he's right. It's nothing to do with me.

 

NIAMH

                Father please...

 

PETER

                No no. It's all right. (leaves)

 

Brian nods, as if to say, "Right so."

 

NIAMH

                (reproachfully) Dad...

 

BRIAN

                (innocently) What?

 

A door closes.

 

SCENE

Fitzgerald's interior. Assumpta is taking off the top of the coffee maker again. She has a screwdriver poking out of her back pocket. She sighs. Eamonn and Sue Ellen are sitting at a corner table.

 

EAMONN

                (scoffs) Long line of matchmakers. How could you do that to me? (loosens his tie)

 

SUE ELLEN

                I know what's right for you Eamonn.

 

EAMONN

                I'm frightened of the woman at the best of times. (unbuttons the top button of his shirt)

 

SUE ELLEN

                Everything'll come right, I promise you. But you must persevere.

 

Some metal parts from the coffee maker fall down, making a loud crash. Assumpta looks frustrated.

 

SCENE

Construction site. Brendan's and Siobhan's cars are parked between the bulldozer and the woods. Siobhan is leaning on the bulldozer. Brendan and Michael are standing next to it. Opposite them is Ambrose, backed up by Donal, Liam, and Brian.

 

AMBROSE

                Gentlemen, Siobhan, you know you're trespassing.

 

BRENDAN

                Yes we do.

 

AMBROSE

                In that case you know it's my duty to advise you to leave this piece of land at once.

 

BRENDAN

                Yes.

 

AMBROSE

                Are you going to take that advice?

 

BRENDAN

                No.

 

BRIAN

                Just get them off the site.

 

AMBROSE

                (over his shoulder) If you don't mind, sir.

 

BRIAN

                Throw them off if necessary.

 

AMBROSE

                (over his shoulder) We'll have no violence, sir.

 

BRIAN

                (walks up to Ambrose, confidentially) Why do you keep calling me sir?

 

AMBROSE

                I'm on duty.

 

BRIAN

                (irritated) Well get on with it then!

 

Ambrose smiles, walks over to the three disorderlies.

 

BRENDAN

                We're not leaving, Ambrose.

 

AMBROSE

                Just to be clear, you're gonna have to come off sometime, you are breaking the law.

 

MICHAEL

                We'll face that moment when we come to it.

 

AMBROSE

                Good luck then. (turns and walks back to Brian and his cohorts)

 

Brendan, Siobhan, and Michael look at each other, pleased.

 

BRIAN

                Well?

 

AMBROSE

                I'll have to call in reinforcements, sir, and have them removed.

 

BRIAN

                How long is that gonna take?

 

AMBROSE

                A few days, sir.

 

BRIAN

                Are you joking me?

 

AMBROSE

                (straight-faced) Why would I do that, sir?

 

BRIAN

                (exasperated) Stop calling me sir!

 

SCENE

Construction site. Night. Brendan, Michael, and Siobhan have got a fire going in an old oil drum. Michael drops a log in. Sparks fly up. Siobhan is pacing around. Brendan is warming his hands over the fire. An owl hoots. Siobhan sees something in the distance.

 

SIOBHAN

                (warily) Watch it...

 

The three of them hurry up onto the bulldozer. Headlights approach. The headlights are so bright that the three on the bulldozer cannot see who it is. It is Peter in a red car. He gets out and raises his hands over his head. He is holding a brown leather backpack. He lowers his hands and leans on the car door.

 

PETER

                Brought you some soup, some tea and some sandwiches.

 

The three protesters laugh.

 

BRENDAN

                Good man yourself.

 

Peter turns off the headlights.

 

SIOBHAN

                Thanks Father.

 

They climb down off the bulldozer.

 

PETER

                How long do you intend to keep this up then? (rests the backpack on the hood/bonnet of the car and rummages around in it)

 

BRENDAN

                (stops at the oil drum and warms his hands) Till Doomsday if we have to.

 

SIOBHAN

                (puts her hands in her pockets) I have a problem tomorrow. I have a lot of calls to make.

 

MICHAEL

                (puts his hands in his pockets) Yeah so do I.

 

BRENDAN

                What are we going to do then?

 

All of them look at Peter.

 

SIOBHAN

                You wouldn't like to sign in for us, Father?

 

Peter gives them a look that says, "You've got to be joking." He has unpacked the backpack. There are sandwiches and thermoses/flasks on the hood/bonnet of the car.

 

MICHAEL

                (alarmed) Who's this? (looks into the distance, grabs Siobhan's arm)

 

Apparently another vehicle is approaching. Michael and Siobhan make a dash for the bulldozer, followed by Brendan. Peter hurries to join them, then stops halfway.

 

PETER

                (annoyed) Oh what am I doing? I'm not part of this. (stands and puts his hands in his pockets)

 

Assumpta drives up in her van. Again, the headlights are so bright that the three up on the bulldozer cannot see who it is. Assumpta stops and opens her door, leans out.

 

ASSUMPTA

                Uff! Better business out here than I've had in the pub all night. (shuts off headlights, ducks back into the van)

 

BRENDAN

                I thought you were against us.

 

ASSUMPTA

                And so I am. On a purely material basis. (pulls a basket out of the van) I'm with youse in spirit, though. (closes door) So I brought you a few sandwiches and some drinks.

 

SIOBHAN, BRENDAN, MICHAEL

                (pleased) Oh, thanks. (jump down from the bulldozer)

 

MICHAEL

                We're being well looked after.

 

ASSUMPTA

                I'm surprised to see you here, Father.

 

PETER

                Well like you, I'm on an errand of mercy. (indicates the foodstuffs on his car)

 

ASSUMPTA

                Ah ha. (puts her basket down on the hood/bonnet of Peter's car) You do know, don't you, that the three of you aren't gonna make much of a difference in the long run.

 

SIOBHAN

                Well the numbers aren't everything Assumpta. Remember the Alamo.

 

BRENDAN

                Oy, it was warmer at the Alamo.

 

Assumpta unscrews the lid of a red thermos/flask.

 

PETER

                As I was driving here, I was remembering when I was at university, and we were protesting to stop a car park being built.

 

ASSUMPTA

                Ah, so you were a man of action once, were you? (opens thermos/flask)

 

SIOBHAN

                Now would you leave the poor man alone?

 

PETER

                Thank you Siobhan. Anyway. Some of the kids from the archaeology department sowed the site with artifacts. You know, arrowheads, bones, that sort of thing. Held the work up for months. I just offer you that thought.

 

MICHAEL

                (holding cup) You know, I've got a few souvenirs from medical college at home. Should be just the thing. (pushes past Brendan and leaves)

 

SIOBHAN

                (also holding cup) I'll come with you Michael. Get some warmer clothes. (leaves)

 

BRENDAN

                Here, I-- I'll come too, (runs to car) hold the fort for us, will you, Father, we won't be long.

 

They get into their cars and start the engines.

 

PETER

                (weakly protesting to empty air) No-- no, hang on a minute! (engines rev) No wait!

 

They drive away. An owl hoots. Assumpta smiles to herself. Peter looks at Assumpta helplessly.

 

ASSUMPTA

                (amused) God if you're frightened of the dark I'll stay with you. (puts lid back on thermos/flask)

 

PETER

                (looks uncertain, looks very uncertain, accepts) Thanks.

 

SCENE

Egans' kitchen exterior. Night. Through the window, we can see Ambrose cradling Kieran in his arms. Kieran is making little baby sounds.

 

AMBROSE

                (sings) Sweetest little fella. Everybody knows. Don't know what to call him but he's mighty like a rose.

 

CUT TO

Kitchen interior. Kieran cries.

 

AMBROSE

                (sings) Looking at his Daddy...

 

Kieran cries.

 

AMBROSE

                (sings) With eyes so shiny blue. Make you think that heaven is coming close to you.

 

The giant stuffed panda is sitting on a counter, staring at the camera.

 

SCENE

Peter's car. Night. Through the steamed up windshield, we can see Peter and Assumpta sitting in his car. Peter wipes the windshield with his sleeve. It squeaks. There are sandwiches and thermoses/flasks on the hood/bonnet of the car. Peter sighs and looks out the window. An owl hoots.

 

PETER

                An owl?

 

ASSUMPTA

                (seductively) I know.

 

Peter almost looks at her, but doesn't, focuses on looking out the front window. Assumpta sighs. They are silent for a few moments. Assumpta looks out her window.

 

ASSUMPTA

                And all that work out there...

 

PETER

                Yeah.

 

ASSUMPTA

                Money's gonna gush up through the floor, Quigley says. Fine. But what's the cost?

 

PETER

                (grimly) Nothing's ever simple, is it.

 

ASSUMPTA

                No.

 

They are silent again for a moment.

 

ASSUMPTA

                We don't really have a lot to say to each other, do we.

 

PETER

                Do we?

 

ASSUMPTA

                No.

 

An owl hoots.

 

ASSUMPTA

                The owl's quite chatty, though.

 

Peter smiles a little. Assumpta laughs to herself.

 

PETER

                (turns to her) What.

 

ASSUMPTA

                Oh. I'm just thinking back to when I was sixteen, there was this uh...priest in the parish who used to sneak up on parked cars and shine a torch through the window. (smiles at Peter knowingly)

 

PETER

                (naively) Looking for...?

 

ASSUMPTA

                What do you think.

 

PETER

                (embarrassed) Ah, yeah. (looks out the front window again)

 

Assumpta watches Peter. He turns toward her.

 

PETER

                What?

 

ASSUMPTA

                (shrugs slightly) Just thinking.

 

PETER

                (naively) What?

 

ASSUMPTA

                What would you do if Father Mac shone a light through our window?

 

PETER

                Tell him to mind his own business.

 

ASSUMPTA

                You surprise me.

 

PETER

                Do I?

 

ASSUMPTA

                Constantly. (looks out the front window and sighs)

 

PETER

                You cold? (takes her hand)

 

ASSUMPTA

                Yeah-- no...

 

PETER

                (holds her hand in his, lifts it) You feel cold.

 

ASSUMPTA

                (watches her hand nervously) No.

 

Peter bows his head and holds her hand to his forehead. He suddenly turns and looks behind them. A car engine can be heard. Peter lets go of her hand.

 

CUT TO

Car exterior. The windows are steamed up again. Peter gets out.

 

MICHAEL

                (calls) Any problems?

 

PETER

                Was all quiet. (crosses his arms across his chest)

 

Assumpta gets out.

 

Michael, Siobhan, and Brendan get out of the black car.

 

BRENDAN

                I hope you were paying attention, Father. (puts on his hat)

 

PETER

                Yes, I was.

 

ASSUMPTA

                (calls) I'm off home. (packs up some things back into her basket)

 

MICHAEL

                You can go home too, Peter.

 

PETER

                Thanks.

 

BRENDAN

                No. Thank you.

 

Assumpta picks up her basket and walks to her van. Peter closes his car door and follows her. He looks back to see if the others are watching them.

 

PETER

                Assumpta...

 

Brendan, Siobhan, and Michael are walking to the construction site. Michael is carrying some long tools over his shoulder.

 

ASSUMPTA

                (whispers) Good night. (moves to get into her van)

 

Peter stops her, wants to say something. She pulls the hair back out of her face. Peter gets very close to her, struggles for words.

 

PETER

                I'm a priest.

 

ASSUMPTA

                That's fine. Be a priest. (gets into her van, closes the door)

 

Peter stands there, looking self-reproachful. Assumpta starts the engine.

 

SCENE

Ballykissangel street. Early morning. A delivery truck from "RYAN'S BAKERY" is parked in front of Hendley's. Assumpta's van is parked in front of the pub. A driver gets out of the bread truck and walks around to the back.

 

SCENE

Egans' kitchen interior. Niamh, in a bathrobe, enters the kitchen looking fresh and chipper.

 

NIAMH

                Ambrose! (looks around, doesn't see anyone, checks the bassinet, finds it empty, goes out the other door)

 

CUT TO

Living room interior. Niamh opens the door.

 

NIAMH

                Ambrose?

 

Niamh is about to say "Ambrose" again, but then she sees Ambrose and Kieran curled up together, asleep on the couch/sofa/settee. Kieran moves a little. Niamh smiles.

 

SCENE

River Angel. Under the bridge. Peter is sitting on a pile of rocks, tossing stones into the stream. He looks frustrated and angry. He tosses a rock at a Coke can. He knocks the can off into the water. He looks around, as if searching for answers.

 

SCENE

St. Joseph's interior. Eamonn, still wearing his suit, is on his knees in a pew in prayer.

 

EAMONN

                Oh God, why am I doing this? (looks up, clasps his hands together) Oh God, give me the courage to go through with it. At the very least, don't let Kathleen laugh at me. Or sneer at me. Or hit me with a floor brush.

 

A door opens. Eamonn looks around. It is Kathleen. She walks over to Eamonn. Eamonn looks away and gulps.

 

KATHLEEN

                What are you doing here?

 

EAMONN

                (squeaks) I-- (blinks, swallows hard)

 

KATHLEEN

                (frowns) I've never seen you in church at this hour before.

 

Eamonn has a coughing fit.

 

KATHLEEN

                Are you all right?

 

EAMONN

                Just getting the lungs up and running.

 

KATHLEEN

                I'd slow them down to a walk, if I were you. (unbuttons her coat)

 

Eamonn watches her.

 

KATHLEEN

                What?

 

EAMONN

                (picks up something from the pew next to him, holds it out to Kathleen) Have a flower. Flowers. (closes his eyes) They're for you. (pokes a bouquet of flowers still wrapped in paper toward Kathleen)

 

KATHLEEN

                What do I want flowers for?

 

EAMONN

                (desperately) I was told to give them to you.

 

KATHLEEN

                Told?

 

EAMONN

                Uh uh no, sorry. Please take them. They're sagging in the middle I kept them so long for you.

 

KATHLEEN

                (pleased) My. All right then. (walks closer to Eamonn, points at the flowers) This isn't really the place.

 

Eamonn hands her the flowers. They are bent in the middle. He leans over close to her.

 

KATHLEEN

                Thank you.

 

Peter enters from the sacristy.

 

PETER

                Morning Kathleen.

 

KATHLEEN

                (gasps) Oh.

 

PETER

                Eamonn.

 

KATHLEEN

                Good morning Father.

 

SCENE

Egans' kitchen interior. Ambrose, in uniform, is drinking from a cup. Kieran is lying in his bassinet, waving his arms about helplessly and looking cute.

 

AMBROSE

                Listen, young man, I had very dark thoughts about you last night, so don't push your luck.

 

KIERAN

                Huh-uh.

 

AMBROSE

                It's broad daylight, time to go to sleep.

 

BRIAN

                (leaning in the doorway) If you weren't so stubborn, you'd accept my offer of help.

 

AMBROSE

                (coldly) What do you want?

 

BRIAN

                I've come to see my grandson. (nods toward Kieran)

 

AMBROSE

                (snippily) There he is. (puts his cup down and goes out the door toward his office)

 

BRIAN

                (walks over to Kieran) Hallo hallo hallo hallo hallo wee fella. And how are we today, huh? Isn't he beautiful? Little hands. Little handy-pandies. You could eat those so you could. (makes shushing sounds) Oh. (removes hat, sits down) Have you given any thought, to what you're going to be when you grow up? (leans on bassinet) Well I'll tell you what you're gonna be. You're gonna be the chairman of a world-wide company. The chairman of Quigley Incorporated. The boss of Quigley In-- (looks up, stops suddenly)

 

Ambrose, Liam, and Donal are standing there watching Brian.

 

AMBROSE

                Liam and Donal.

 

BRIAN

                What are you two doing here?

 

LIAM

                Oh we've just been over to the site Mr. Quigley and the fellas they found some uh, whatchamacallits.

 

Donal nods.

 

BRIAN

                Speak English.

 

DONAL

                History Mr. Quigley. Ancient parties living in the woods.

 

LIAM

                Yeah. Leaving behind them bones and arrowheads and bits of pots and...things like that.

 

AMBROSE

                An archaeological site, is that it?

 

DONAL

                That's the yolk.

 

BRIAN

                I don't believe it. Get out there and clear away any of that stuff, immediately.

 

AMBROSE

                Such finds have to be reported to the appropriate authorities and all work suspended immediately.

 

BRIAN

                Just forget about it for a couple of hours, all right?

 

AMBROSE

                And in the circumstances, sir, I am the appropriate authority. Therefore, it now becomes my duty, sir, to--

 

BRIAN

                (rolls his eyes) Oh don't start all that again. (leaves)

 

Ambrose smiles to himself. Liam and Donal leave.

 

AMBROSE

                (gloats to Kieran) That got up his nose, didn't it?

 

SCENE

Father Mac's office interior. Father Mac enters, followed by Kathleen.

 

FR MAC

                I haven't got long, Kathleen. (closes the door) What is it?

 

Kathleen walks over and stands next to the desk.

 

FR MAC

                (walks past her, indicates a chair) Oh sit down please.

 

KATHLEEN

                Eamonn Byrne.

 

FR MAC

                (takes a seat at his desk, troubled) Has he been bothering you again?

 

KATHLEEN

                The thing is Father, I think...I'm frightened. He's going to ask me to marry him.

 

FR MAC

                Are you sure about this?

 

KATHLEEN

                I'm sure as I can be.

 

FR MAC

                Has he spoken of it?

 

KATHLEEN

                Not yet. But, that's what's on his mind.

 

FR MAC

                (cheerfully) Well if it is, where's the harm in that? It would be a marriage made in heaven. You'd be great company for each other.

 

KATHLEEN

                Company is one thing Father.

 

FR MAC

                Yes... (looks down)

 

KATHLEEN

                But...if we do...he might want to...

 

FR MAC

                (soberly) Indeed he might...and as his wife it would be your duty.

 

KATHLEEN

                Yes Father I accept that.

 

FR MAC

                (stands, walks around the desk) But since you would be married then there would be no sin attached to it so...

 

KATHLEEN

                (stands) I've put all those thoughts from my mind long ago Father. Not that I've ever suffered from any such thoughts.

 

FR MAC

                (quickly) Of course not. (puts his hand on Kathleen's shoulder) Marry him Kathleen. It would be the best thing for both of you. (walks to the door) As long of course as I can still rely on your help around the church. (opens door)

 

KATHLEEN

                (walks out, stops, leans back in) I'd never deprive you of that Father. (leaves)

 

FR MAC

                Thank you Kathleen. (closes door)

 

SCENE

Egans' kitchen interior. Ambrose is sitting at the table, holding a cup of coffee. He nearly nods off, tipping the cup of coffee. Niamh grabs it just in time.

 

NIAMH

                Ambrose...You can't go on like this.

 

AMBROSE

                Like what?

 

NIAMH

                You've got to get some sleep.

 

AMBROSE

                I can manage. (picks up jacket from chair, puts it on)

 

NIAMH

                At least take up my Dad's offer, get somebody in. (dumps coffee down the drain)

 

AMBROSE

                Leave your Dad out of it, I run this family.

 

NIAMH

                Well if you do run this family as you say, you're not running it very well. Not if you make yourself sick.

 

AMBROSE

                (buttons up his jacket) Will you leave me alone, please. (picks up his hat, leaves, goes upstairs)

 

NIAMH

                Ah Ambrose... (follows him)

 

CUT TO

Garda house exterior. Assumpta has just knocked on the door. Ambrose opens the door on his way out.

 

ASSUMPTA

                (surprised) Ambrose!

 

AMBROSE

                Oh. Assumpta.

 

ASSUMPTA

                (cryptically) A nurse is a fox. (enters, stops at the top of the stairs, turns around, whispers) I've come to see the baby. (beckons to Ambrose, goes downstairs)

 

AMBROSE

                Right. (follows her, leaving the door open)

 

CUT TO

Stairs. Ambrose is going down the stairs.

 

AMBROSE

                Now. What was I-- Oh yes. (puts on his hat, goes back upstairs)

 

CUT TO

Downstairs hallway. The door closes upstairs. Assumpta and Niamh watch Ambrose, give each other a look. Niamh is holding Kieran, who is sound asleep.

 

ASSUMPTA

                Is he all right?

 

NIAMH

                (shakes her head) He's out on his feet, he's punch drunk. He's getting hardly any sleep. (leans over Kieran, whispers) Seems this little rascal has it in for him.

 

ASSUMPTA

                (leans over Kieran, whispers) Hey, he's not a rascal, he's beautiful isn't he, isn't he the most beautiful baby in the world.

 

NIAMH

                (whispers) Don't wake him up. (cradles him, carries him into the kitchen)

 

ASSUMPTA

                (whispers) Oh I'm sorry yeah come on I'll put the kettle on. (follows Niamh)

 

SCENE

Peter's living room interior. Peter dials the phone, picks up the phone and carries it with him a few steps, receiver to his ear, waiting for an answer. He looks upstairs.

 

PETER

                (into phone) Father Mac? It's Peter Clifford here. Yeah. When might you next be in Ballykay? Oh it's nothing really er, just a chat I suppose. Tomorrow? Fine, thank you. (hangs up quickly, sighs)

 

SCENE

Hendley's interior. Eamonn enters very very slowly. He is still wearing his suit. He walks up to the counter in slow motion. Kathleen watches him approach.

 

KATHLEEN

                Well?

 

EAMONN

                (holds out a box of Black Magic chocolates) I want you to have these.

 

KATHLEEN

                What do you hope to gain by this?

 

EAMONN

                (tremulously) I don't know?

 

KATHLEEN

                (kindly) Well that's all right then. Thanks a million. (takes the chocolates)

 

Eamonn watches her.

 

KATHLEEN

                Well.

 

EAMONN

                Then...goodbye. (turns to go, looks up, sees a much larger box of Black Magic chocolates on the shelf, looks back at the box he gave Kathleen)

 

SCENE

Garda car. Ambrose is sound asleep behind the wheel. Luckily, the car is parked. Peter opens the driver's door.

 

PETER

                Are you all right?

 

AMBROSE

                (gets out of the car) I suppose I'm in luck you're not an officer or an intendant.

 

PETER

                Just checking.

 

AMBROSE

                Checking what, Father?

 

PETER

                Just making sure you were all right.

 

AMBROSE

                (snaps) Well I'm fine, I don't need you--

 

PETER

                No. No you're right. (walks away)

 

SCENE

Sacristy interior. Peter enters from outside. As he goes past the door leading into the church, he sees someone up at the altar making off with a candlestick. Peter dashes into the church.

 

PETER

                Hey!

 

The would-be thief tosses the candlestick to his accomplice, who catches it and sticks it into a brown leather bag. They make a break for it with Peter in hot pursuit. The thief with the bag gets the bag caught on the end of a pew and drops the bag. Peter stops to check inside the bag, then takes off after the thieves.

 

CUT TO

St. Joseph's exterior. The two thieves run out of the church. Peter is a couple of seconds behind them. He runs to the fence.

 

PETER

                (shouts) Ambrose! Ambrose stop those two!

 

CUT TO

Garda car. Ambrose is napping again. He sits up in his seat when he hears Peter.

 

CUT TO

Street. The two thieves run onto the street, where they have a getaway car parked.

 

CUT TO

Garda car. Ambrose gets out of the car and puts on his hat. He closes the door and looks this way and that, then dashes across the street.

 

CUT TO

Street. The thieves have gotten into their car. Ambrose is in hot pursuit on foot. The thieves' car pulls into the street. Ambrose jumps for it. He gets his hand in the window and hangs on. Peter runs out onto the street, looks on in horror as Ambrose is dragged along by the moving car. One thief opens the door that Ambrose is hanging on to, knocking him off onto the pavement. Peter runs over to him. The car gets away.

 

PETER

                (panicked) Ambrose?

 

Peter turns the unconscious Ambrose over. Ambrose's face is scraped and bloody. Peter mumbles something and looks up and down the street frantically. A man comes running past.

 

PETER

                Look can you call a doctor please! (holds his hand up) Look just-- just just just stay back. (sits back, watches Ambrose, puts his hand to his mouth)

 

A woman walks up and stands next to Ambrose and Peter.

 

SCENE

Egans' kitchen. Niamh is holding a sleeping Kieran. Assumpta is sitting next to her.

 

ASSUMPTA

                I'll miss him.

 

NIAMH

                (amused, thinking Assumpta is talking about Kieran) Where would you miss him?

 

Assumpta doesn't answer.

 

NIAMH

                (looks at Assumpta, her smile fades) Who were you talking about?

 

ASSUMPTA

                Oh that's what I've come over here to tell you. I made up my mind.

 

NIAMH

                What about?

 

Someone bangs at a door. Niamh and Assumpta look around. The banging continues. Niamh stands, carrying Kieran.

 

NIAMH

                For God's sake what's that.

 

Assumpta stays seated, rubs her hand over her face. The banging continues.

 

SCENE

Hospital. Through a window, we can see Michael consulting with another doctor. A sign points to "INTENSIVE CARE--X-RAY--ST. BRIDGET'S WARD--ST. JOSEPH'S WARD". Peter and Niamh with Kieran are sitting in the waiting room. Brian is standing next to Peter, holding the stuffed badger. Brian walks away.

 

PETER

                I feel so responsible.

 

NIAMH

                Why?

 

PETER

                Well if I hadn't yelled at him...

 

NIAMH

                He's a policeman, Father. You mustn't blame yourself.

 

Niamh and Peter look up as the door opens. Michael enters, closes the door.

 

NIAMH

                How is he Doctor?

 

MICHAEL

                He's hurt Niamh, I'm not going to pretend otherwise, but I've been told it's not as bad as it seemed at first.

 

NIAMH

                Can I see him?

 

MICHAEL

                Well he's not really conscious yet.

 

NIAMH

                (begs) Please.

 

MICHAEL

                I'll have a word.

 

The door opens. Presumably Michael leaves.

 

BRIAN

                (puts his hand on Niamh's back) Don't worry, he'll be all right.

 

Kieran gurgles.

 

NIAMH

                He's hurt his head.

 

BRIAN

                Oh you won't notice the difference.

 

Niamh looks despondent. The door opens again. Michael enters.

 

MICHAEL

                Eh Niamh, you can come in now.

 

NIAMH

                (walks over to Peter) Will you hold the baby please Father? (hands Kieran to Peter)

 

Kieran burbles and coos.

 

BRIAN

                Me too. (puts the stuffed badger on Peter's shoulder)

 

Peter holds Kieran and the badger. The door closes.

 

PETER

                Oh come on Kieran.

 

Kieran cries.

 

PETER

                You heard what Doc Ryan said. Anyway. Your Uncle Peter's in control now. Well. Almost.

 

SCENE

St. Joseph's interior. Peter is sitting in a pew on the right side of the church, contemplating the blue virgin. Father Mac enters from the sacristy. He walks across in front of the altar, genuflects, then walks over to Peter.

 

FR MAC

                (cheerfully) How's Ambrose?

 

PETER

                Oh I...haven't spoken to Niamh today, but last night he was as well as can be expected.

 

FR MAC

                (leans against the railing) Good. You want to see me?

 

PETER

                Yes. (gestures to the pew next to him for Fr Mac to sit) I need your advice.

 

FR MAC

                Advice from me? Then I'd better sit down. (he does) Advice about what, Father?

 

PETER

                Um...

 

FR MAC

                Or would you rather I guess?

 

Peter looks down.

 

FR MAC

                I'd quite enjoy that.

 

PETER

                No.

 

FR MAC

                Then, what do you want to talk about?

 

PETER

                About being a priest, I suppose.

 

FR MAC

                Oh you surprise me. A crisis of faith. Not what I'd expected.

 

PETER

                What did you expect?

 

FR MAC

                You tell me.

 

PETER

                It's not a question of faith, Father, I've no doubt in my faith, it's it's just...What am I doing as a priest? I mean, what does it mean to be a priest?

 

FR MAC

                To serve God.

 

PETER

                I can serve God without being a priest.

 

FR MAC

                Serve your community, your congregation--

 

PETER

                And if they don't need me?

 

FR MAC

                They always need you.

 

PETER

                Do they? I say Mass, I hear confession, I officiate at weddings, christening, and funerals, then what.

 

FR MAC

                Good works?

 

PETER

                Visiting the poor and preaching about rich men, camels with humps and needles with eyes. (looks down)

 

FR MAC

                What have you been reading?

 

PETER

                (somewhat surprised at the question) The New Testament.

 

FR MAC

                Oh very clever Father. (pauses) But you don't fool me. Shall I tell you what the problem is?

 

PETER

                Sorry?

 

FR MAC

                Assumpta Fitzgerald.

 

PETER

                (looks very uncertain as to what his reaction should be, weakly) What?

 

FR MAC

                We live in a very small community, Father.

 

PETER

                (swallows and looks down) Well I hope you don't think that-- (pauses) Nothing's...happened.

 

FR MAC

                Is something likely to happen?

 

PETER

                No.

 

FR MAC

                Can you stand before that altar, and tell God that nothing is likely to happen?

 

Peter looks up at the altar, licks his lower lip, looks away.

 

FR MAC

                And that is your problem, Father. That is why you are dissatisfied with your vocation.

 

Peter stares at Father Mac.

 

FR MAC

                I understand. The temptation, the pain, the anguish. But most priests...most serious priests...use these temptations as a means to temper their mettle. And that is the test, Father. Have you got the mettle to be a real priest.

 

PETER

                I hope...(licks his lips) I pray, I'm a real priest.

 

FR MAC

                Then you have a simple choice. Scrub this woman from your mind forever. Or leave the parish.

 

PETER

                (rubs his upper lip with his finger) I don't want to leave the parish.

 

FR MAC

                Then you need help. I suggest you go on retreat. That's the place to be. Touch base again. Feel your vocation again.

 

PETER

                Maybe you're right. Yes. Yes I will. When should I go?

 

FR MAC

                Oh I think as soon as possible.

 

Peter nods stoically.

 

SCENE

Hendley's interior. Kathleen is handing change to a customer.

 

KATHLEEN

                Thank you.

 

The door chimes. Eamonn enters. The customer leaves. Eamonn has back on his old clothes.

 

KATHLEEN

                Well?

 

EAMONN

                Well...

 

KATHLEEN

                Is that all you have to say?

 

EAMONN

                I've not a lot of words in me today.

 

KATHLEEN

                (sympathetically) I know how you feel. It's terrible about Ambrose, isn't it.

 

EAMONN

                Makes you think. Life could be a lot worse.

 

KATHLEEN

                Indeed.

 

EAMONN

                (leans in close) Makes you think. What have we got to complain about?

 

KATHLEEN

                (confidentially) There comes a time, when it's better to stick to the road you know.

 

EAMONN

                (nods) I agree with you.

 

KATHLEEN

                You do?

 

EAMONN

                I do. I do indeed. I do!

 

KATHLEEN

                Well then.

 

EAMONN

                (straightens up) ??

 

KATHLEEN

                Goodbye.

 

Eamonn looks like he might like to say something else, but doesn't. Leaves, somewhat melancholy.

 

SCENE

Woods. Someone has attached a cardboard sign to a tree. The sign says "KEEP AWAY! SITE OF HISTORICAL INTEREST! COUNCIL ??"

Liam, Donal, and Brian are digging around in the dirt.

 

DONAL

                Should we be doing this?

 

LIAM

                Ah they've notified the council.

 

Brian gives Liam a withering look, then continues digging.

 

SCENE

Fitzgerald's interior. Assumpta is preparing a cup of coffee. The machine is making fizzing noises. Padraig is sitting at the end of the bar, a bowl of soup and a sandwich in front of him. He takes a bite of soup, then turns his attention to the newspaper folded up on the bar top.

 

ASSUMPTA

                Oh please, please, come on don't do this to me. (hits the coffee machine several times on its side, clicks her tongue, turns around as the pub door opens)

 

Niamh enters, carrying Kieran wrapped up in a blanket.

 

PADRAIG

                Niamh.

 

Niamh closes the door, walks over to Padraig.

 

PADRAIG

                How's Ambrose?

 

NIAMH

                (in hushed tones) He's fine thanks. (walks around behind the bar)

 

ASSUMPTA

                (reaches out and puts her arm on Niamh's shoulder) Are you all right?

 

NIAMH

                (smiles wanly) Yeah sort of.

 

ASSUMPTA

                Go on into the kitchen, I'll make us a cup of tea.

 

Niamh goes toward the kitchen.

 

ASSUMPTA

                (turns to Padraig, sighs) Give us a shout, Padraig. (goes toward the kitchen) If I ever get another customer.

 

PADRAIG

                (looks around the otherwise empty pub) Yeah sure.

 

CUT TO

Fitzgerald's kitchen interior. Niamh is standing next to the stove, holding Kieran. Assumpta enters.

 

ASSUMPTA

                (indicates a chair) Please sit down.

 

Niamh smiles and goes over to the table. Assumpta picks up the kettle from the stove and goes over to the sink. She fills the kettle with water.

 

NIAMH

                House is so quiet without Ambrose. (smiles, sits down) Think even Kieran misses him. (looks down at the little bundle in her arms)

 

ASSUMPTA

                How is Ambrose?

 

NIAMH

                (concerned) Last night he was quite sick. But he's much better today. His mother's with him.

 

Assumpta turns and gives Niamh a grimace. Niamh looks down and looks like she's fighting back tears. Assumpta turns off the tap and carries the kettle over to the stove.

 

NIAMH

                (hiding her face, choking back tears) Anyway. He should be home in a few days.

 

ASSUMPTA

                Oh that's great news. (goes to the table)

 

NIAMH

                He won't be able to go back to work for a while though.

 

ASSUMPTA

                (sympathetically) No I suppose not. (sits down next to Niamh, smiles at her)

 

NIAMH

                Dad wants us to move in with him.

 

ASSUMPTA

                And will you?

 

NIAMH

                (shakes her head) Ambrose will never put up with that. Set him back a life term. (??) (giggles)

 

ASSUMPTA

                Suppose it would. Anyway I'm glad things are looking a bit brighter. (strokes Niamh's arm) Makes me feel a little less guilty.

 

NIAMH

                Not you as well. What for?

 

ASSUMPTA

                Well I won't feel as bad about deserting you.

 

NIAMH

                Deserting?

 

ASSUMPTA

                Niamh I've decided to leave Ballykay. Just for a while.

 

NIAMH

                You have? At last?

 

ASSUMPTA

                (presses her thumb) Yup.

 

NIAMH

                Good for you. It's time you stop dithering.

 

ASSUMPTA

                Oh I know I know. But it all depends.

 

NIAMH

                On what?

 

ASSUMPTA

                (takes a deep breath) Do you think you'd be up to looking after the pub for me for a while?

 

NIAMH

                (considers) Well if Ambrose was back on his feet...

 

ASSUMTPA

                Well yeah of course.

 

NIAMH

                Well yes.

 

ASSUMPTA

                Well that's-- that's great.

 

NIAMH

                So? You're off to Dublin then.

 

ASSUMPTA

                Ah-- no, no. (swallows, looks down) No London. (looks nervously at Niamh)

 

NIAMH

                (smile fades) Oh.

 

CUT TO

Pub. Voices can be heard outside, chattering and laughing. Padraig is sitting alone at the bar. Brendan, Siobhan, and Michael enter. They stop talking when they see Padraig. They all go over to his end of the bar. Siobhan takes a seat. Brendan stands next to Padraig. Michael sits next to Siobhan.

 

BRENDAN

                Hi.

 

PADRAIG

                How're'ya.

 

Silence.

 

BRENDAN

                Service!

 

PADRAIG

                (knocks on the bar) 'Sumpta! Customers!

 

ASSUMPTA

                (calls from the kitchen) Yeah I'll be right with you Padraig!

 

PADRAIG

                Still celebrating. The rescue of the orchid and the badger. The owl and the pussycat.

 

SIOBHAN

                Come on Padraig. Putting the road around the wood is not going to make any difference to the development.

 

PADRAIG

                Remains to be seen.

 

BRENDAN

                Whatever the outcome...doesn't have to be personal.

 

Brian enters through the B&B entrance. He is carrying a plastic shopping bag.

 

BRIAN

                I heard you were having a little lunchtime celebration. (closes the door) Well I've come to mess it up for you.

 

MICHAEL

                What do you mean?

 

BRIAN

                You must think I'm a right eejit. (holds up the plastic bag) You stuck those artifacts up at the site. And don't pretend you didn't. (sets bag down on table with a clunk, empties the contents) Look at them. Pathetic. Now these bones haven't been in the ground for years. (holds up a small bone, sets it down, picks up an arrowhead) And this arrowhead, it's varnished.

 

SIOBHAN

                Oh. Dear. (looks at Michael)

 

Michael shrugs.

 

BRENDAN

                We told the council though.

 

BRIAN

                I don't care who you told. (tosses arrowhead onto the table) They'll take one look at this rubbish and laugh in your faces. So you can say goodbye to your wood. It's a wake you're having now. You can drink to the corpse. (turns and walks triumphantly away)

 

NIAMH

                Dad...

 

BRIAN

                (stops, turns toward the kitchen) Niamh.

 

Niamh comes out of the kitchen, carrying Kieran, walks over to Brian. Assumpta comes out of the kitchen, too, but stops in the doorway, her arms folded.

 

NIAMH

                (to Brian, confidentially) Do me a favour Dad...

 

BRIAN

                (readily) Anything.

 

NIAMH

                Put the road round the wood.

 

BRIAN

                (cannot believe what he is hearing) Niamh, come on now--

 

NIAMH

                It's not for my sake, Dad, for Kieran's.

 

BRIAN

                That is just blackmail.

 

NIAMH

                (in a low voice) Please Dad.

 

BRIAN

                No way in hell to let them get away with it!

 

NIAMH

                (presses her lips together, insists) Dad!

 

BRIAN

                Niamh...(shakes his head, sighs, leaves, closing the door firmly)

 

NIAMH

                (turns to the patrons at the end of the bar) He'll do it.

 

Assumpta looks surprised.

 

SIOBHAN

                Thanks Niamh. Thanks a lot.

 

Brendan, Siobhan, and Michael are all smiles.

 

BRENDAN

                Big hand for Niamh.

 

They applaud.

 

Peter enters through the B&B entrance.

 

PETER

                (to Niamh) Your father nearly knocked me down. What's happened? (looks queryingly at the other patrons)

 

ASSUMPTA

                Niamh persuaded him to put the road round the wood.

 

PETER

                Oh well done Niamh. (puts his hand on her shoulder)

 

Niamh looks subdued.

 

PETER

                So how is Ambrose today?

 

NIAMH

                (politely) He's doing very well. They're going to let him home soon.

 

PETER

                Oh I'm glad. Very glad. (looks over at Assumpta, seems to want to talk to her)

 

Assumpta looks at her toes.

 

NIAMH

                Right then. I'm gonna take this fella home to feed him. And change him before you throw him out. I'll speak to you Assumpta about--

 

ASSUMPTA

                (holds up her hand to stop Niamh) Yeah.

 

NIAMH

                (to Peter, confidentially) I hope you've stopped feeling guilty, Father. (leaves)

 

Peter does not answer, presses his lips together and scratches his temple, catches Assumpta's eye, points toward the kitchen. The other patrons start chatting happily amongst themselves. Assumpta starts to go into the kitchen.

 

PADRAIG

                (calls out) Assumpta!

 

ASSUMPTA

                (holds up her hand) Yeah. In a moment. (goes into the kitchen)

 

CUT TO

Kitchen interior. Assumta enters, closes the door. Peter is there.

 

PETER

                She's taking it very well.

 

ASSUMPTA

                (clears something away from the table) Brave woman. (puts two mugs into the sink)

 

PETER

                Father Mac's just given me a talking to.

 

ASSUMPTA

                (walks over to the stove, keeping her back to Peter) Nice for you.

 

PETER

                Well I think I deserved it.

 

Assumpta turns around to face Peter and leans against the stove.

 

PETER

                Anyway, he's helped me make up my mind about a couple of things.

 

ASSUMPTA

                Such as?

 

PETER

                One, I've decided Father Mac is exactly the sort of priest I don't want to be. And two, I've decided it would do me no harm to be as good a priest as Father Mac.

 

ASSUMPTA

                (breathlessly, as if she were lightheaded) Still sitting on the fence. (looks down)

 

PETER

                (with determination) No. I've got off the fence. Father Mac shoved me onto a ladder.

 

ASSUMPTA

                What sort of ladder?

 

Long silence.

 

PETER

                He's ordered me, to go on retreat.

 

ASSUMPTA

                Oh yeah. When.

 

PETER

                Next week.

 

ASSUMPTA

                That's it, is it?

 

PETER

                Yes. That is...it.

 

ASSUMPTA

                (looks like she's about to cry, looks down) Well thank you for telling me. At least I know I've made the right decision. (looks up, crying)

 

PETER

                And what decision?

 

PADRAIG

                (calls from the pub) Assumpta! Customers!

 

Peter looks distractedly toward the pub, then back at Assumpta.

 

ASSUMPTA

                (shakes her head) Scuse me, I've got customers. (leaves, still crying)

 

Peter looks like he might cry, too.

 

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