Katy, not having seen any burglars on television, but having read many books about the subject, knew that the modern burglar was never seen without a beanie, turtleneck jumper, and flashlight. Searching through her bedroom cupboards and drawers, Katy uncovered a brightly coloured beanie designed for wear in the snow, a yellow oversized turtleneck jumper her grandma had knitted her, and a flashlight that played the opening theme to Sesame Street when it was in use. She was ready for whatever it was she needed to be ready for.

Katy stood at the door of number ten. She turned the handle slowly... creeeak... creeEak... C-R-E-E-E-A-K... click. Unlocked. It was like taking candy from a baby. Note: Do not EVER take candy from a baby. It is mean and nasty and horrible and the baby will spit milk on your face or bite your hand off. End Note. However, as Katy �took candy from a baby�, milk was not thrown up on her face and she still had four fingers and a thumb on each hand____

I apologise profusely (profusely meaning �Arthur Brown apologised down on his hands and knees and spoke as if the word �sorry� was the extent of his vocabulary) for that scribble at the end of the word �hand�. Katy did not have a shaky �hand�, in fact that was me being startled at a sudden noise, but it was nothing. So...

Katy looked about the room she was standing in. There was a moth eaten couch in one corner, and very little else. Judging from the size of the teeth marks in the couch, Katy decided that moths had much larger appetites then mosquitoes and so were bigger and heavier, but probably did not have as large a mouth as a human. Katy crept to the staircase in the corner of the room. First she put her first foot on the first step of the staircase, then her second foot on the second step of the stair case, then her third foot (being her first foot taken off the first step) onto the third step, then her fourth foot (being her second...)

Wait- what was that??! Please, do not call aloud what you think �that� was. The question was a rhetorical question, meaning a question that is not meant to be answered. Besides which you would seem rather silly to be suddenly calling out �It�s a fish!� or �I think it�s a piece of chalk!� or �I know! It�s a girl wearing a brightly coloured beanie that has been designed to be worn in the snow, a yellow oversized jumper knitted by a grandma, and holding a flashlight that plays the theme song to Sesame Street.� Of course, if you called out this last answer, you would be quite right, however you would still look silly.

�I know!,� I said, �it�s a girl wearing a brightly coloured beanie that has been designed to be worn in the snow, a yellow oversized jumper knitted by her grandma, and holding a flashlight that plays the theme song to Sesame Street.�

This is a shock. Fictional characters do not come to life, but perhaps, just perhaps... she existed before...I wrote this...hmmm... very coincidental, highly unlikely... but... possible. Now I am writing this in the extreme present tense, and I hope the girl doesn�t talk just yet so I have time to write this down...

�Hello,� she is saying, �You look rather stupid holding a vacuum cleaner.�