What's on This Week

Currently formal discussions are always on Tuesday and Thursday evenings, North American time. Starting times are always 10 pm. Eastern time.

August 29, 2000
KIDS and BDSM

An open discussion about handing children whilst in a D/s relationship. Some possible questions that will be considered are:

• When and how do you tell children what you are up to? Or do you? Will you introduce facets of BDSM as you introduce more basic topics to your children. At some point there are going to be questions. Either because of noise, or wax drips on the bedsheets, or bruises, or just general demeanor. And at some point, you kid is going to be better than you on the computer, so he'll find what you have on there...

• In a full time relationship, it is almost certain that aspects of D/s are going to show up in day to day life, despite care and attention to not allow it. So when the occasional Sir or Master pops out, how do you explain to a child that women are not second class citizens? Or alternately, how do you explain that there is nothing wrong with daddy, even though he always does what mom asks?

• How would you explain to a child of a young age, that what mom and dad do is not to be shared with others, when they are hearing at school, that it is a bad thing when adults tell them to " keep a secret".

• Can children interfer in the dynamics of a power exchange relationship?

• What happens when the kids discover your toys? They will, even if they are locked away. I remember several Christmas's when I skulked around the house until I found the presents ~LOL~ One time even learning to pick a lock. I was probably 9 ro 10 then. So what *are* you going to say?

• How often to you play? What factors do the children have, if any, in that scheduling? Do they limit or constrain your play times?

• Have/will you 'come out' to your adult family before you 'come out' to your children? Why or why not?

• Exactly how much do you feel your family needs to know about this aspect of your life?

• If you are involved with a r/t group, do these people interact with your children at all? How so, or why not?

• Have you considered the impact that "discovery" of your lifestyle might have on judgment of your fitness as parents? Courts have terminated parental rights or placed children in foster care and/or required counseling.

• An associated question.... what happens when you have an elderly single parent living with you, someone say in their 70's or 80's or older who has ideas and morality from out of the 1920's? How do you deal with them? Is it the same as dealing with kids? Or different?

 
August 31, 2000
T.B.A.

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