Submissive BDSM Play Partner Check List

By Tammad Rimilia

This checklist should be filled out by a Sub and provided to their Dom/Top before playing with them. This will provide a quick "head-start" to identifying limits, negotiating and finding common ground for play. Dominants may wish to work through the checklist, to get a better handle on their specific interests. Switches should go through the checklist twice; one persons Dom and Sub interests may be very different.

For each item, you need to provide two answers:

For experience, write YES or NO next to each item to indicate if you have ever DONE that activity. Mark N/A if it does not apply to your gender. Anything clearly specific to male subs has been deleted.

For willingness, indicate for each item how you feel about DOING that activity by rating it on a scale of NO or 0 to 5.

NO means you will NOT do that item under any circumstances (a hard limit).

0 (zero) indicates you have utterly no desire to do that activity and don't like doing it (in fact, may loath it) and would ordinarily object to doing it, but you would permit the Dominant to do it if it they really wanted it. (sometimes called a "soft limit").

1 means you don't want to do or like to do this activity, but wouldn't object if it was asked of you.

2 means you are willing to do this activity, but it has no special appeal for you.

3 means you usually like doing this activity, at least on an irregular or occasional basis.

4 means you like doing this activity, and would like to experience it on a regular basis.

5 means the activity is a wild turn-on for you, and you would like it as often as possible.

* Mark with an asterisk (*) those items which you are willing to do only with your current sex partner(s), but not with casual play-partners.

Note any additional information which might be important for your Dom to know, in the margin to the right.

There is intentionally some overlap between categories. Unless otherwise stated, the Sub is the recipient/target of the activity.

Experience     Willingness

Abrasion Age play Anal sex Anal plugs (small) Anal plugs (large) Anal plug (public, under clothes) Animal roles Arm & leg sleeves (armbinders) Aromas Asphyxiation Auctioned for charity Bathroom use control Bestiality Beating (soft) Beating (hard) Blindfolds Being serviced (sexual) Being bitten Breast bondage Breath control Branding Boot worship Bondage (light) Bondage (heavy) Bondage (multi-day) Bondage (public, under clothing) Breast whipping Brown showers (scat) Cages (locked inside of) Caning Catheterization Cells/Closets (locked inside of) Chains Chamber pot use Chastity belts Chauffeuring Choking Chores (domestic service) Clothespins Cock worship Collars (worn in private) Collars (worn in public) Competitions (with other Subs) Corsets (wearing) Corset training(waist reduction) Cuffs (leather) Cuffs (metal) Cutting Dental work(elective) Diapers(wetting) Diapers(soiling) Dilation Dildoes Double penetration Electricity Enemas Enemas(non-water) Enforced chastity Erotic dance(public) Examinations (physical) Exercise (forced/required) Exhibitionism (friends) Exhibitionism (strangers) Eye contact restrictions Face slapping Fantasy abandonment Fantasy rape Fantasy gang-rape Fear (being scared) Fisting (anal) Fisting (vaginal) Flogging (light) Flogging (heavy) Following orders Foot worship Forced bedwetting Forced dressing Forced homosexuality Forced masturbation Forced nudity (private) Forced nudity (around others) Forced servitude Forced smoking(non-smoker) Force-feeding Full head hoods Gags (cloth) Gags (rubber) Gags (tape) Gags(phallic) Gags(inflated) Gas masks Genital sex Given away to another Dom (temp) Given away to another Dom (perm) Golden showers Gun play Hairbrush spankings Hair pulling Hand jobs (giving) Hand jobs (receiving) Harems (serving w/other subs) Harnessing (leather) Harnessing (rope) Having food chosen for you Having clothing chosen for you Head (giving fellatio) High heel worship High heel wearing(forced) Homage with tongue (non-sexual) Hoods Hot oils (on genitals) Hot waxing Housework (doing) Human puppy dog Humiliation (private) Humiliation (public) Hypnotism Ice cubes Immobilization Infantilism Initiation rites Injections Japanese rope bondage Interrogations Kidnapping Kneeling Knife play Leather clothing Leather restraints Lectures for misbehavior Licking (non-sexual) Lingerie (wearing) Manacles & Irons Manicures (giving) Massage (giving) Massage (receiving) Medical scenes Modeling for erotic photos Mouth bits Mummification Nipple clamps Nipple weights Oral/anal play (rimming) Over-the-knee spanking Orgasm denial Orgasm control Outdoor scenes Outdoor sex Pain (severe) Pain (mild) Persona training Phone sex (serving Dom) Phone sex (serving Dom's friends) Phone sex(calling at random) Phone sex(commercial) Piercing (temporary) Piercing (permanent) Plastic surgery Prison scenes Prostitution(public pretend) Prostitution(actual) Pony slave Public exposure Punishment Scene Pussy whipping Pussy worship Riding crops Riding the horse (crotch tort.) Rituals Religious scenes Restrictive rules on behavior Rubber/latex clothing Rope body harness Saran wrapping Scratching - getting Scratching - giving Sensory deprivation Serving Serving as art Serving as ashtray Serving as furniture Serving as a maid Serving as toilet (urine) Serving as toilet (feces) Serving as waitress Serving orally (sexual) Serving others (supervised) Serving others (unsupervised) Sexual deprivation (short term) Sexual deprivation (long term) Shaving (body hair) Shaving (head hair) Skinnydipping Sleep deprivation Sleepsacks Slutty clothing (private) Slutty clothing (public) Spanking Spandex clothing Speech restrictions Speculums (Anal) Speculums (vaginal) Spreader bars Standing in corner Stocks Straight jackets Strap-on-dildos (sucking on) Strap-on-dildos (penetrated by) Strap-on-dildos (wearing) Strapping (full body beating) Suspension (upright) Suspension (inverted) Suspension (horizontal) Supplying partners for Dom Swallowing semen Swallowing urine Swallowing feces Swapping (one other couple) Swinging (multiple couples) Tattooing Teasing Tickling Topless Beaches Triple penetration Uniforms Including others Vaginal dildo Verbal humiliation Vibrator on genitals Voyeurism (watching others) Voyeurism (your Dom w/others) Video (watching others) Video (recordings of you) Voice training Water torture Waxing (hair removal) Wearing symbolic jewelery Weight loss(<25 lbs) Weight loss(>25 lbs) Weight gain(<25 lbs) Weight gain(25-50 lbs) Weight gain(>50 lbs) Whipping Wooden paddles Wrestling

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5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       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yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5 : yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5

Willingness quick-key:
* - I will do with current sex partner only.
NO - I WILL NOT DO that item under ANY circumstances (a hard limit).
0 - No desire, don't like, will permit if special to Dom (soft limit).
1 - Don't want to do, but will.
2 - Willing to do, but has no special appeal.
3 - Usually LIKE doing, on an irregular/ occasional basis.
4 - LIKE doing, would like it on a regular basis.
5 - WILD TURN-ON, would like it as often as possible.

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