Chaos in the French and Indian War

 

In the past at the VERY beginning of the French and Indian War.

The CCS time machine goes back into the past to the beginning of the French and Indian War (well, duh! I just wrote that!). All the CCS people and Sailor Venus get out.

Sailor Venus: How should we mess this up?

Eriol takes out the ‘master plans’. So in other words he takes out this piece of paper with little drawings (done by Kero and Suppi) of people in crayon.

Eriol: Ok, screw that plan.

Kero: WE WORKED SO HARD ON IT! i_i

Suppi: And it’s SOOOO pretty!
Eriol: IT LOOKS LIKE GOD DAMN SHIT! YOU’RE THE BIGGEST ASSHOLES I’VE EVER MET IN MY LIFE! (clears his throat) Any way, we have to think of a new plan.

Everyone except Eriol: *?*; (lol, everyone that was ‘there’ knows what this also looks like and I didn’t make it with that thought in mind!)

Eriol: What?
Ruby Moon: NOTHING!
French people walk over to the anime freaks.

French person: (in a French accent but speaking in English) Who are you freaks?!
Li: Can we ever escape that gay name?

Sakura: Obviously not.

Sailor Venus: We’re going to make the French win the war.

French Man: Than, why do you have an English accent.

Yue: We were uh, hostages.

Sakura: Yeah, for like ten years.

French Man: Well four of you look to be only ten.

Li: Uh, we were adopted.

French Man: You can’t help us win the war.

Sailor Venus: Yeah we can. We know where the attacks are going to be and everything.

French Man: I don’t believe you.

Tomoyo: There is going to be an attack tomorrow. Believe us, we know.

French Man: I don’t believe you!

Tomoyo: Wait, I mean now.

Cannons start firing at a French fort.

French Man: You better help us win this war.

Everyone runs to the fort.

Ruby Moon: (to Sailor Venus) Wow, this social studies textbook really is helpful!

Sailor Venus: Told you.

Back in the present, where the normal people are.

Laura: CHICKEN! YOU DID IT AGAIN!
Chicken: LAURA IT WASN’T ME!
Laura: THAN WHAT’S THIS!?

Laura holds up pictures of Chicken making out with Mrs. S*****, Mr. O******* (Laura and my STUPID EVIL {sorry Jaime, you lost your title, just kidding!} science teacher) and Mr. B******* (the gay, retarded, asshole band teacher Lauren and I had to deal with for the whole year during band).

Jenn: Oh that’s low!

Chris: That’s so nasty.

Danielle: But, you all realize, Chicken’s gay, right?

Laura: No, I was just foolin’ with you guys, I got those pictures and made it look like Chicken was making out with them.

Chicken: LAURA!

Jaime: But you didn’t make one of Chris Z**** and L*** McCauley, did ya?

Chris: JAIME! YOU STUPID RETARD!
Lauren: It has a nice ring to it (not the stupid retard thing, the Chris Z**** thing).

Chris: LAUREN THAT’S NOT TRUE!
Lucy: Oh, Chris really does like the way both sound and just doesn’t want us to know.

Chris: NO! NO! NO!
All the sudden everyone changes and is in France.

In France.

Everyone is speaking in French. So, since the only words I know how to say in French are ‘Merci’ and ‘Bonjour’ (even though I’m pretty sure I spelled ‘Bonjour’ wrong) we’re all going to pretend that everyone is speaking French. So, it’s going to be written in English and you’re going to pretend it’s being said in French.

Jaime: What the hell?!

Chris: Not again.

Sailor Venus walks up to Chris.

Everyone except the anime freaks: NOOOOOOOOOOO!

Sailor Venus: Chris, you sound even hotter speaking French.

Chris: Screw you Venus.

Sailor Venus: Oh, please do.

Lucy: Well that back fired.

Chris: No shit!

Ruby Moon walks over.

Ruby Moon: (it has hearts for eyes) CHRIS!

Jenn: What did you do this time!?
Ruby Moon: Oh, nothing…

Ruby Moon hides its social studies textbook behind its back more.

Laura goes and grabs the book out of its hands.

Ruby Moon: HEY! GIVE THAT BACK!

Laura: Hell no.

Danielle: You really are stupid.

Sailor Venus: What’s that supposed to mean.

Danielle: Oh, I wonder. Let’s break down the words one by one.

Lauren: Let’s see, you, meaning Ruby Moon, really meaning truly, are the plural of is, and stupid, not smart.

There’s silence, all except for a cricket. Lucy takes off her shoe and swashes it.

Lucy: DAMN CRICKET! (Read Laura’s battle)

Ruby Moon: Hey, I GOT IT! Wait, that’s not very nice.

Danielle: And you’re not very smart.

Jaime: Or bright.

Ruby Moon: I bet Chris would NEVER say that to me.

Chris: GO SCREW VENUS!
Ruby Moon: Ewww.

Sailor Venus: We’re only attracted to you, not each other, sweet-ums.

Chris: What the hell did you just call me, fag!?

Sailor Venus: Told you he would like the pet name!

Chicken: HOW RETARDED ARE YOU PEOPLE?!

Sailor Venus: You piss me off!
Sailor Venus picks up Chicken and throws him back to North America.

Laura: CCCCCHHHHHIIIIICCCCCCKKKKKKKKEEEENNNNNNNNN!!!!!!

Lauren: Where the hell do you hoes get off?!
Ruby Moon: (whispers to Venus) What does that fag mean?

Lauren: FAG!?

Lauren goes to take out her flute, only to find it’s not there.

Lauren: WHERE’S MY FLUTE?!
Ruby Moon holds up Lauren’s flute.

Lauren: Ok, you’re so going to die.

Sailor Venus and Ruby Moon start laughing hysterically. While they’re having a jolly good time laughing. Lauren kicks them both in the stomach, then, gets her flute back.

Lauren: Yeah that’s pretty funny!

Ruby Moon: (speaking with pain in its voice) Stupid fag!

Danielle: You’d think they’d get the hint.

Lauren hits them both over the head with her flute.

Sailor Venus: BRING IT! I HAVE THE POWER OF VENUS ON MY SIDE!

A French person walks by.

French dude: Are these people bothering you?

Ruby Moon and Sailor Venus: Yes.

French dude: To the dungeon!

Sailor Venus: Except for Chris.
Everyone that’s not Chris, an anime freak or the French dude is in a dungeon.

In the dungeon.

Jenn: How the hell did this happen?

Jaime: That was so screwed up!

Lauren: Wrong tense, is so screwed up.

Laura: You keep on saying ‘screwed’ but none of us are screwed. Chris is the one that’s literally going to be screwed.

Danielle: Oh yeah. Yet, it’s actually pretty funny.

Lucy: What, that they’ll be French kissing in France?

Danielle: How’d you know I was going to say that?!

Lucy: ‘And a towel!’

Laura: Yeah…

Danielle: Inside joke!

Jaime: Whatever.

Where Chris is, inside a big palace.

Chris: (thinking to himself) How the hell did they become rich?
Sailor Venus: I call Chris first!

Ruby Moon: No fair, he’ll be all out by the time I have him!
Sailor Venus: TOO BAD!
Chris: What are you talking about?

Sailor Venus: You’ll find out later.

Chris: Right… What, did you do to the past this time?

Ruby Moon: Nothing, whatever would make you say that we did anything?

Chris: Cut the crap, what the hell did you do?
Sailor Venus: We told you, nothing.

Chris: Fine, if you tell me, I’ll make out with you.

Sailor Venus: We went back to the-

Ruby Moon covers her mouth so she can’t finish.

Ruby Moon: We went to the French and Indian War. MAKE OUT WITH ME NOW!

Chris: Ok, you know what, I got to go bye!

Chris runs out of the palace before he has to start making out.

Sailor Venus: It’s all your fault!

Ruby Moon: MY FAULT!?

Sailor Venus: Yeah, you KNOW he wanted to make out with me and you covered my mouth so I couldn’t answer his question!

Ruby Moon: He likes making out with me better than you!

Sailor Venus: He doesn’t like you! He’s got that hots for me, get used to it!

Ruby Moon: Is it fun living in denial?

Sailor Venus: You’re in denial.

Ruby Moon: Oh, what a creative comeback.

Sailor Venus and Ruby Moon start beating each other up.

Back in the dungeon.

Jaime: I wonder if it’s possible for Ruby Moon and Sailor Venus to screw Chris at the same time?

Lucy: Why are you wondering about that? Do you want to see if three people could do it?
Jaime: YOU PERVERT!
Jaime starts chasing Lucy (which she always does when I piss her off by saying other perverted stuff like that).

Laura: It would be double the excitement for Jaime, besides Chris, Venus and Ruby Moon would be in the bed too.

Jaime starts chasing Laura along with Lucy.

Lauren: Shouldn’t we be focusing on getting out, not chasing each other.

Laura and Lucy: Whatever.

They both stop running. Jaime stops too.

Jenn: How do we get out?

Danielle pushed open the door.

Danielle: It was open the whole time.

Everyone except Danielle: @_@;

Everyone walks out.

Jaime: Should we find Chris?

Everyone except Jaime: No.

Jaime walks into Chris.

Jenn: We said we didn’t want to find you! GO AWAY!

Laura: I’ll ask you the question everyone wants to know, did you get screwed by them?

Chris: No.

Lucy: Maybe not that but, what about the other way around, did you screw them?

Chris: HELL NO!

Jaime: WHY DO I ALWAYS WALK INTO WALLS AND TREES!?
Danielle: And Chris.

Jaime: That was only one time!

Lauren: Whatever you say.

Jaime: Ok fine, why do I always have to walk into various things. (Oh crap, that sounded wrong! But, don’t take it that way!)

Jenn: You’re just lucky, I guess.

Jaime: At least I don’t fall while I’m standing still.

Lucy: I didn’t add to the you and your walking into different objects conversation, why are you bringing me and how I fall while I’m just standing still into it?

Jaime: Because, it seemed to have to do with it.

Danielle: Not really.

Chris: The whole meaning of the conversation is that you’re both klutzes.

Lauren: Well, I guess, in a way, that’s right.

Laura: Damn straight!

Everyone else: Right…

The CCS characters walk over to everyone.

CCS characters: Der…

Jaime: They’re doing a reenactment of Mysterious Mysteries (If you watch Invader ZIM you’d know what I’m talking about)!

Eriol: Uh… DER!

Laura: Der this! (Laura puts up her middle finger).

Kero: That hurts my feelings!

Suppi starts humping Kero.

Kero: I feel better, thanks.

Suppi: I know, I know.

Sakura: I don’t know them.

Li and Yue start making out with Chris. Ruby Moon starts attacking Li and Yue.

Li: I can’t control myself.

Yue: I can’t control myself either, but I’m not upset about that!

Lauren: Wow, you’re one gay, fag!

Danielle: Wait, where’s Jenn?
Where Jenn is, in an abandoned warehouse.

Jenn is sitting down with voodoo dolls of the anime freaks.

Jenn: I love being me!

Back where everyone else is.

Tomoyo starts humping Chris.

Chris: Oh, yeah! ^~^ (pleasure smile) (no I’m just kidding! If Chris said that, the world would probably be taken over by mutant crickets)

Chris: (what he would REALLY say) GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME YOU BI SEXUAL FREAKING ASS FUCKS!

Everyone that’s semi-normal and not an anime freak, that is there: HOLY SHIT!

Laura: I never thought I’d hear you say that!

Chris gets everyone off of him.

Chris: And I never thought three people’d hump me either.

Lucy: I’m sure you were enjoying every second of it.

Danielle: No doubt.

An angry mob of French people run over to everyone and starts making mean faces.

Lauren: Right.

French dude: YOUR PISSING OFF ROYALTY!

Chris: Roy a what?

Laura: It’s not that hard to pronounce, ass.

Jaime: (sarcastically) You’re so nice.

Laura: (smiles innocently) Yeah, I know.

French person: WE’RE BATTLING!

Danielle: We are?

The French people get ready to fight, when Chicken comes flying back from North America and lands on Chris’s head. The French people stop in confusion.

Chicken: COME MINIONS!

Everyone except Chicken: What?
Chris: Could you get off my head?
Chicken: Whoops, forgot I landed on your head.

Chicken jumps off of his head. In the sky, the sun is completely covered by darkness that is moving toward everyone.

Lauren: What’s that?
Chicken: My minions! Hey, where’s Jenn?

Jenn: (laughing in the distance)

Jenn comes flying to where everyone is on a giant octopus named Gary. Jenn jumps off of Gary. Gary flies away.

Jenn: BYE GARY, SEE YA, TOMORROW!

Jenn waves good-bye to Gary.

Lucy: That’s some pretty freaky shit.

Chicken’s minions land where everyone is.

Jamie: They’re a bunch of birds.

The French people get ready to attack again. All the birds start pecking at the French people and anime freaks.

Where Gary is, by the time machine.

Gary sets it up to go back to the French and Indian war and goes back to that time.

Back in the French and Indian War, where the anime freaks are.

Gary flies over to the anime freaks and rips the social studies textbook out of Ruby Moon’s hands and starts beating them up with his tentacles. After he’s finished beating them up, he jumps back in the time machine and goes back to the present.

In the present, back in the U.S.

Laura: That was a wicked trip.

Danielle: No, it wasn’t.

Laura: Yeah, you’re right.

Jaime: But, how’s everything normal…Again?

Jenn: Gary, my octopus friend, went back in time and took care of the anime freaks.

Chris: How?

Jenn: I wrote down instructions for him to follow, DUH! What’d you think?

Lauren: Ok…

Jaime takes a map out of her pocket and looks at it.

Lucy: Why do you carry around a map?

Jaime: So, I don’t get lost. Wait, since when’s Washington known as Garyton?

Everyone except Jenn: JENN!
Jenn: Well, I guess Gary made another stop.