We go Horseback Riding

 

Chris: (sarcastically) What fun filled things are we going to do today?

Jaime: We’re going horseback riding, you can go and lose your virginity… Again.

Danielle: (in an extremely pissed off voice) HORSEBACK RIDING!?

Lucy: (sarcastically) Nice goin’ Jaime, I only wish I were as smart as you.

Lauren: What’s so bad about horseback riding?

Jenn: Oh, this isn’t going to end well.

Laura: I think you told me, but, can you tell me again?

The atmosphere around them becomes black and an eerie light shines upon Danielle.

Danielle: I went on a horseback riding trip, the horses went insane and my horse ran off the trail to where there were trees everywhere and I got hit with branches, causing me to almost have my nose broken!

The darkness clears away.

Lucy: That was fun. (quickly) Not everyone falling off, the new experience was interesting.

Jaime: (sarcastically) Now who’s the smart one?

Laura: YOU’RE SCREWED!

Lauren: That was only one bad experience, you should still ride.

Danielle: I’m getting my revenge on those damn horses.

Chris: Danielle, this isn’t like you at all.

Danielle: I’m vengeful, get used to it.

At a stable.

Laura: This is so wicked, no one’s here except us!

Danielle: Which horse should I KILL first?

Lauren and Lucy: DANIELLE!

Danielle: One is going to pay!

Lucy: Why don’t you take it out on the circus, you did ride a retired circus horse.

Danielle: OH WELL!
Jaime: Don’t kill all of them.

Danielle: Fine choose some you want to live and I’ll kill the remainder.

Chicken: Danielle, horses are some of my best friends!

Danielle: So?

Chicken: You can’t-

All the sudden Sailor Venus jumps out of a bush and onto Chris, knocking him down.

Sailor Venus: Hey hottie!

Everyone that’s not Sailor Venus, Chicken, Danielle or Chris: HOTTIE?!
The same group starts cracking up.

Chris: Get the hell off of me bitch.

Sailor Venus: Is that another pet name?

Chris: That’s get off of me now before I’m forced to hook back up with Ruby Moon AND Lisa.

Jenn: THAT’S BULLSHIT! Wait, you hooked up Lisa!?

Chris: Uh… No, but don’t force me to, Venus.

Sailor Venus: I can’t risk that!

Sailor Venus jumps off of Chris.

Sailor Venus: PLEASE DON’T HATE ME!
Chris: Go away.

Sailor Venus: But, I uh, planned to ride, yeah, ride!

Jenn: BULLSHIT!

Sailor Venus opens up the stable and walks behind a horse (which is a BIG no, no). The horse kicks Sailor Venus.

Sailor Venus: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!
Lauren: She shouldn’t be riding a horse. She doesn’t even know how to mount!
Sailor Venus: I’m just screwing with you.

Lucy: But, you know who she really wants to screw, right?

Chris: Shut the hell up.

Jaime: Can’t even state the truth without being criticized these days.

Laura: No shit.

Danielle (who is getting extremely bored) walks into the stable, mounts a horse, walks it out of the stable and starts on a trail.

Jenn: HEY WAIT UP! Wait, I thought she hated horses.

Laura: She can’t hate them too much!
Everyone mounts a horse and catches up to Danielle, well almost everyone, Sailor Venus is trying to catch up to Chris.

Sailor Venus: (after she catches up to Chris) You look so hot on a horse! No, so sexy!

Chris: Back off.

Chris (while he’s trying to get Sailor Venus out of his personal space) isn’t paying attention and bumps his head on a tree branch (a thick tree branch) knocking him off the horse. Jaime’s horse (which is behinds Chris’s horse) rears up and Jaime holds on for dear life. Lauren uses the reins and pulls back on them so her horse will walk backward.

Sailor Venus: DEAR LORD! I HAVE TO SAVE CHRIS! Venus uses her ‘Love-me Chain’ and pulls Chris onto her horse.

Laura starts cracking up and almost falls off her horse. Chicken pushes her back on before she does.

Danielle (who isn’t talking to anyone) starts trotting ahead of everyone. Since everyone’s so far behind, none of the horses follow (in a trot).

Chris gets off of Sailor Venus’s horse, stops his horse and mounts his horse.

Sailor Venus: CHRIS! COME BACK! I NEED YOU!

Lauren looks ahead to see how far ahead Danielle is and doesn’t see her anymore.

Lauren: YOU ALL SUCK AT RIDING HORSES!
Lauren pulls her horse up ahead of everyone else’s (and just for y’all wondering what pace she’s going at, she’s in a canter [and if you don’t know, a canter comes after a trot and the trot come after walking]).

Lucy: Dude, finally, something above walking!

Lucy pulls her horse ahead in a trot. Laura also decides too. As Laura passes by Chris, she pushes Sailor Venus into him and takes a picture of Chris catching Sailor Venus. Laura rides up ahead laughing hysterically and insanely.

Sailor Venus: I knew you loved me!
Chris drops Sailor Venus causing her to fall on the ground and get all muddy.

Sailor Venus: (in a whiny voice) CHHHRIIIISSSSSSS!

Jaime: Oh, you two flirting?

Chris: NO!

Sailor Venus: (at the same time as Chris) YES!

Jaime: I’ll just leave you two alone.

Jaime trots ahead to catch up with everyone else. Sailor Venus gets up and back onto her horse. Jenn turns around (her horse is in front of Chris’s) and stares at Sailor Venus. Venus tries to not look at Jenn. Chris looks back and froth between the two.

Chris: I don’t understand you people.

Sailor Venus (who is getting extremely scared) starts screaming.

Jenn starts cracking up.

Chris: What?

Sailor Venus: THE STARE OF DEATH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Sailor Venus gets her horse to gallop in front of Chris’s horse and Jenn’s horse. Sailor Venus’s horse starts to get a little hungry and quickly bends down to eat some grass. So, in other words, her horse was just galloping and stopped REALLY quickly to eat, so it sends Sailor Venus off it and into a tree, head first!

Sailor Venus: @~@

Jenn and Chris trot ahead to catch up to everyone else. Sailor Venus mounts her horse…Again and rides in a trot to try and catch up to everyone else.

Up ahead, where Danielle is.

Lauren catches up to Danielle.

Lauren: How come you didn’t wait?

Danielle points to circus tents.

Lauren: You’re acting like a primitive cave person.

Danielle: OH SHIT YOUR RIGHT!

Lauren: Well, I knew that would work.

Laura, Chicken and Lucy catch up to Danielle and Lauren.

Chicken: That was fun, let’s do it again.

Laura: No Chicken, you’re already bald.

Chicken: What?

Laura: I don’t know.

Lucy: And I thought I didn’t make sense.

Laura: You don’t.

Danielle: We’re going to battle.

Jaime catches up.

Jaime: HELLO!

Danielle: Like I said, we’re going to battle.

Jaime: Who?

Chris and Jenn catch up.

Danielle: IS ANYONE ELSE COMING?

Jenn: Chris’s lover!

Chris: That’s not funny!

Jenn: It’s not supposed to be funny, it’s the truth!

Chris: (sighs)

Danielle: ANYWAY! We’re going to battle.

Jaime: Like I said before, who?
Laura: There’s no one here to battle, unless, you want to try a tree.

Lucy: Jaime, could never hurt a tree, she would only have saplings with it.

Jaime: WHAT?!
Danielle: Ok, no. We’re going to fight the circus.

Chris: Danielle, are you possessed?
Sailor Venus rides up to everyone with blood tripping from a HUGE bump on her head.

Sailor Venus: What’d I miss.

Danielle: GO AWAY!
Sailor Venus: Well, I do have a hotel room in Hawaii reserved for Chris and me. LET’S GO!
Chris: Not again.

Sailor Venus: What do you mean, again?

Jenn: Chris, you’re so modest, you know you want to do it again.

Chris: JENN!
Jenn: I speak the truth.

Lauren: Right…

Danielle: Can we go and fight the circus now?
Sailor Venus: Yeah, let’s go!
Lauren: I’m getting REALLY tired of you.

Lauren takes out her flute and hits Sailor Venus off her horse causing her to fall down a little hill and get even dirtier!

Sailor Venus: (as she’s falling down the hill) IIIIIIIII LLLLOOOOOVVVVVVVEEEEE YYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUU, CCCCHHHHHHRRRRIIIIIISSSSS!

Chris: Can I ever escape this torment?

Danielle: No.

Jaime: It’s never a happy ending for Chris.

Everyone except Chris: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Laura: When are we going to fight the mob?

Jaime: It was the circus.

Laura: The circus is run by the mob.

Lauren: What are you on today?

Laura: Wouldn’t you like to know?

Jamie: The marijuana in your neighbor’s backyard.

Chicken: That’s not marijuana, just grass.

Laura: You mean I was really smoking grass, literally!?

Chicken: That’s what I told you the first six times you were smoking it.

Laura: I knew that!

Jenn: I think the Jaime intelligence disease is contagious.

Danielle: Right. Who’s going to fight the circus with me?

Lucy: Oh yeah, that’s what you rode all the way here for.

Danielle: Yeah.

Everyone rides down to the bottom of the hill. Laura purposely runs over Sailor Venus though.

At the bottom of the hill, where the circus is.

Everyone dismounts their horses and walks into the circus tent. Sailor Venus runs over to where everyone is with her hair going everywhere and grass sticking out of it. She walks up behind everyone.

Sailor Venus: HI!

Lauren, as a reflex, smashes Venus’s face with her flute, causing Venus to have a nasty bloody nose.

Lauren: Oops! I didn’t know it was you, I would have done it harder!

Sailor Venus: (while holding her nose) That’s not funny!

Lucy: It wasn’t meant to be funny.

Sailor Venus: (screams at the top of her lungs) YOU LIE!

The circus people all turn around and see everyone standing by the tent’s entrance.

Everyone except the circus people and Sailor Venus: YOU?!
Ruby Moon: CHRIS! ^o^ (that’s its I want to bite face)

Chris: Ok, no, not again!

Ruby Moon tries to leap onto Chris. Sailor Venus rips Lauren’s flute out of her hand and hits Ruby Moon before she can land.

Sailor Venus: STEP OFF BITCH! HE’S MINE!
Lauren grabs the flute out of Venus’s hand and hits her REALLY hard over the head with it.

Chris: I know I’m irresistible but, please, there’s only so much of me that can go around.

Danielle: (under her breath) What an ass.

Chicken: Get over yourself!

Chris: I’m not obsessed with myself, they are. (looks at Ruby Moon and Sailor Venus)

Chicken: You have one big ass ego.

Jenn: Did you all forget the point of us being here!?

Jaime: That’s right, we were supposed to fight the circus freaks.

Lucy: Yeah, one MAJOR detail left out, the CCS circus freaks.

Laura: LET’S KILL ‘EM!
CCS people: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

All the anime freaks (including Sailor Venus) jump into a time machine and go back in time.

Danielle: Oh, fuck.

Jaime: What the hell was that?
Laura: Well it had numbers on it and they went back, it was obviously a time machine.

Chris: They can’t do anything. They’re stupid.

Jenn: No, well yeah they’re stupid, but, they’ll think of something.

Lucy: Are you taking their side?!

Jenn: NO! It’s just that they could somehow, do something.

Lauren: Well, Chris never did finish in the broom closet.

Chris: LAUREN!

Lucy: HA! And you said you weren’t perverted!

Lauren: Well not as much as all of you!

Lucy: Humpty Dumpty fell off the wall, only what broke this time?

Lauren: Don’t remind me…