We go to the Zoo (home at last)

 

Jen: What are we going to do today that doesn’t involve kicking CardCaptor Sakura people’s ass?

Jaime: THE ZOO!

Laura: Where’s Danielle?

Lucy: She said she was bringing one of her friends with her, someone we all know, or at least Laura and I know.

Jaime: And where’s Chris.

Jen: Don’t you remember he said, “If I’m in another battle I’m going to kill you.” Remember?

Jaime: Oh yeah.

A go-cart (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I said I was going to make something odd happen HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!) pulls up with Danielle and Lauren (Lucca) in it.

Lauren: BEE’S AND ANGRY MONKEYS WERE CHASING US!

Danielle: So?

Lauren: IT’S NOT NORMAL!
Laura: OH WELL!
Jaime: LET’S GO TO THE ZOO!
Everyone except Jaime: OK!

Jaime: YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!

At the zoo.

Laura: Did you HAVE to yell ‘YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY’ all the way to the zoo?

Jaime: I like the zoo.

Jen: I AM SOOOOOOOOO HAPPY FOR JAIME!

Laura: Wow, calm down Jen.

Jen: The man in the closet told me to do it.

Lauren: What is she talking about?

Jen: Gnomes.

Lauren: What do you mean.

Jen: GNOMES!
Lauren: I don’t understand what you’re trying to say.

Lucy: No one knows what Jen’s talking about.

Jaime: And you’re to talk?

Lucy: Uhh…

Laura: I know, that was a hard question.

Lauren: Ok.

Danielle: This is normal, you’ll get used to it, with time.

Lauren: Ok?

Laura: FLYING ELEPHANT!

Danielle: That also is normal.

Laura: No, there’s a flying elephant.

Jen: Narfis.

Everyone with the exception of Jen: What?

Jen: ARG! There’s the elephant.

Jen points to the elephant.

Danielle: Or she may be right.

Jaime: The only freaks that would do this are the CardCaptor Sakura freaks.

Lauren: Who?

Danielle: Long story, tell ya later.

Lucy: Yeah, anyway, they’re probably repeating an episode from the show and using the-

Mysterious voice: Power Card.

Lucy: (in a really pissed voice) I WAS GOING TO SAY THAT!

A tall person walks out of the shadows wearing a gray drench coat (which is like 50 sizes to big) and a hat, allowing no one to view the person’s face.

Mysterious Person: You can all leave now.

Danielle: No, we have to teach these freak pot heads a lesson… Again.

Mysterious Person: I’ll handle them, leave.

Jen: NO!

The mysterious person takes the hat and drench coat of really quickly while doing a fast spin (it’s weird sounding but if you imagine it, maybe you’ll get the idea, MAYBE!).

Everyone except the mysterious person: AHHHHHHHH! EYES BURNING!

Mysterious person/ Lisa: CEASE AND DESIST!

Lauren: What are you doing?

Lisa: I HAVE BEEN SENT TO DESTROY YOU!

Jaime: This is the second person those losers have sent to destroy us.

Jen: YEAH!

Laura: Calm down.

A person comes falling out of a helicopter and into a tree.

Jen: THE MAN IN THE CLOSET!
Chris: Of all the places to land, by her!

Lisa: CHRIS!

Lisa gets ready to jump onto Chris and is in mid air of jumping on him. Lauren takes her flute out (don’t ask me why she brought her flute with her to the zoo) and assembles it in a few tenths of a second and whacks Lisa with it, sending her into France.

Chris jumps out of the tree.

Chris: Ok, it was nice seeing you. No battles for me today.

Jen: Man in the closet is going bye bye?

Chris: For the last time Jen, I’M NOT THE MAN IN THE CLOSET! And why are you talking all weird?

Jen: Smerg!

The CCS people jump out of a near by tree. Well, they tried to but, since they’re the smart ones, everyone except for Yue, Kero, Suppi and Eriol (Yue, Kero and Suppi all have wings and Eriol practically lives in trees) fall out of the tree.

Eriol: Do you people have no coordination at all?

Sakura: That hurt!

Li: Screw you.

Sakura: You want to start!?

Li: You only wish you could beat me.

Lauren: What the hell?

Laura: HOLY FUDGE!           

Everyone except Laura: What?

Laura: I’m special, I can edit myself! ^o^ (that’s Laura doin’ a victory scream)

Jaime: Why did you freaks hire Lisa to attack?

Nakuru: She was the cheapest person and her resume was good.

Nakuru takes out “Henchmen for Hire”.

Jen: That’s not a real magazine. 

Nakuru: Well, it had that resume, not mention it said that she would do it for two dollars if it was for CardCaptor Sakura people.

Yue: I told you it would be a bad idea to hire her.

Nakuru elbows Yue.

Chris: Do they have to battle you.

Jen: What do you mean man in the closet, you’re not battling with us?

Chris: I’M NOT THE MAN IN THE CLOSET! And, no.

Kero: You’re afraid of losing!

Chris: To you?

Suppi: YEAH!

Chris: I hate it when I’m convinced into these things.

Lauren: Battle?

Nakuru: I’m taking on the new one.

Lauren: ME?

Nakuru: Oh yeah (now how wrong did that sound?).

Danielle: It’s eight to seven, we get another person.

Tomoyo: Fine but, it won’t help you.

Laura: And who do you plan to pick, we’re in an abandoned zoo!

Danielle: Oh yeah.

Lucy: OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO! I KNOW, I KNOW PICK ME!
Danielle: Who?

Lucy: My friend Lauren!

Lauren: I’m right here.

Lucy: No, Lauren Kubasky, the one in Chris’s language arts class.

Chris: How do you know she’s in my language arts class?

Lucy: She told me when I said to here the person that Lisa likes is in her language arts class and then she guessed you and was right.

Chris: Oh I think I know who you’re talking about.

Lauren (Kubasky and I’ll write Lauren K and Lauren L and if you can’t figure out the initials than, I’m sorry for you, I really am.) K falls out of an airplane (wow a lot of people are falling from the sky today) and into a bush (and there’s also a lot of people falling into plants today). Lauren K climbs out of the bush.

Lauren K: That’s the last time I open a window on a plane.

Sakura: Oh look, everyone’s here.

Lauren K: What?

Lucy: Hi Lauren, why don’t you take part in this battle!

Lauren k: What?

Danielle: That would be two people that don’t know what it is.

Jaime: A battle’s when you fight someone.

Nakuru: Ok, now you know. It’ll be me vs. the new person-

Yue: Which one?

Nakuru: The one that didn’t fall out of a plane.

Lauren K: It’s not like I did it on purpose!

Nakuru: Anyway me vs. the new person that DIDN’T fall out of a plane-

Lauren L: ME NAME IS LAUREN!

Lauren K: ME TOO!

Nakuru: Right, ANYWAY, me vs. Lauren that didn’t fall out of a plane, Suppi vs. Lauren that did fall out of a plane, Kero vs. Jaime, Tomoyo vs. Chris, Yue vs. Danielle, Li vs. Laura, Jen vs. Sakura and Eriol vs. Lucy.

Bell: FFFFFFFFFFFLLLLLLLLLLLLUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!

Lauren L: What’s that supposed to mean?

Laura: The bell rang you have to fight!

Nakuru changes into Ruby Moon.

Lauren: That’s freaky.

Ruby Moon gets ready to shot it’s crystals at Lauren L.

Lauren L takes out her flute and assembles it as quickly as she did when Lisa tried her Olympic jump.

Ruby Moon shots her crystals, Lauren L hits them away with her flute.

Ruby Moon: NO FAIR!
Lauren L takes her flute and plays a REALLY high pitched note which makes everyone cover their ears (except for Lauren L [well duh] and  Jen, Jen’s dancing in Irish clogging shoes).

Ruby Moon: MY EARS! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ruby Moon flies away screaming, Lauren L stops playing and Jen stops clogging.

Sakura: NEXT BATTLE!

Bell: PPPPPPPPPPPUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRPPPPPPLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

Jen: Lauren you’re battling!

Lauren K: Me?

Suppi: BRING IT!

Lauren: I can beat you.

Suppi changes into Spinel Sun.

Lauren K: THIS IS SO SCREWED UP!
Spinel Sun: STILL THINK YOU CAN BEAT ME!?

Lauren K: Yes.

Spinel Sun shots his beam of light at Lauren K.

Lauren K takes out goggles (from Technology) (that for some odd reason, she has, even though she completely HATES the goggles) and puts them in front of the ray which stops it.

Lauren K walks up to Spinel Sun and pokes him in his the eyes with the goggles.

Spinel Sun: I CAN’T SEE!

Lauren K then takes the goggles and starts poking Spinel Sun with them.

Spinel Sun: OWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Lauren K: They’re just goggles!

Spinel Sun: I FORFEIT! I can’t take this much abuse!

Spinel Sun flies away crying.

CCS group: @_@

Sakura: NEXT BATTLE!

Bell: IIIIII LLLLLLLIIIIIIKKKKKKKKKEEEEEEE BBBBBBBBIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGG BBBBBBBBUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!

Jaime: Who the-

Laura: FUDGE!

Kero: Are you going to fight or forfeit?

Jaime: Of course I’m going to fight, what kind of question is that?

Kero turns into Keroberous.

Jaime: (sarcastically) OH MY GOD! 

Keroberous: BE SCARED!

Jaime: I was being sarcastic!

Keroberous: No, you were scared!
Jaime: No.

Keroberous: YES YOU WERE!
Keroberous shoots fire at Jaime. Jaime walks out of the way.

Jaime: THAT IS UNFORGIVABLE!
Keroberous: What is your problem?

Jaime opens up a deer cage. The deer run out (obviously!).

Keroberous: OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO! THEY’RE SO CUTE!
Jaime: That wasn’t the right affect.

Keroberous: I’m going to elope with all of these deer now. BYE!
Keroberous flies away with the deer.

Danielle: DEER CAN’T FLY!
Jaime: Oh well I won! ^8^ (Jaime’s trademark face)

Bell: BBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTNNNNNNNNNYYYYYYY SSSSSSSSSPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRREEEEEEDDDDD!!!

Chris: I’ll never understand the purpose of those bells.

Jen: Tortoise!

Tomoyo: YOU’RE GOING DOWN!

Lucy: You mean to hell?

Tomoyo: Uh…

Chris: What are you talking about?

Tomoyo: Ok, I didn’t just say the last two things I said (WOW @_@ I’m confusing myself!)

Chris: Ok then.

Tomoyo takes out needles.

Danielle: Is that the only ‘weapon’ you have?

Tomoyo: SHUT UP!

Jaime: IT IS! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Jen: WIGGY WIG!

Everyone except Jen: What the hell?

Chris takes a branch off a tree and starts chasing Tomoyo with it.

Tomoyo: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Tomoyo isn’t paying attention and runs into a tree and knocks herself out.

Sakura: I really need brighter friends.

Chris: Ok, I won, can I leave?

Everyone except the CCS group and Chris: NO!

Bell: FFFFFFFFFRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!

Danielle: Where?

Everyone except Danielle, Jaime, Jen and Lucy: Fred?

Danielle: Uh… NOTHING!

Sakura: START THE BATTLE!

Lauren L: Can you stop yelling.

Lauren K: Do you have obsessive compulsive disorder or something.

Sakura: Er…  OK I’M BY! OK! I POSSESS…

Everyone except Sakura: SHUT UP!

Li: You’re a freak get away from me.

Sakura gets ready to run away
Jen: STOP YOU BY… Uh STOP! I still have to battle you!

Sakura: If I win you have to become by too.

Jen: I’m not a lesbian.

Sakura: NO BATTLE!

Jen: Uh ok.

Sakura: NOW I WON’T BE BY ALONE!

Eriol: Ok can we start this battle?

Danielle: Right the battle.

Danielle picks up a stick and starts poking Yue.

Yue: What are you doing.

Danielle: Pokin’

Yue: Ok, stop.

Danielle: Ok, no.

Yue gets ready to shot his crystals at Danielle.

Danielle: Oh, you’re going to show some shiny rocks at me. OH MY GAWD!

Lucy: ONLY I SAY IT LIKE THAT!
Danielle: Ok…

Laura: WAIT! HOLD THE REMOTE!

Everyone except Laura and Sakura (she’s talking to a tree and trying to abuse it. Sort of like Matt Guluti, he can sexually abuse himself [he was humping his hand today. In front of my desk no less!] Ok that’s a different story and doesn’t really have to do with anything but, I always get off topic!): What?

Laura: MY CHICKEN FLEW AWAY!

Chris: Laura, chickens can’t fly.

Laura: MY CHICKEN’S SPECIAL!
Jaime: What does this have to do with the battle.

All of the sudden Laura’s chicken comes (it flies. We live in a very drugged out world.) and starts pecking at Yue’s head.

 Danielle: This is my battle, go back to Laura chicken!

The chicken flies over to Laura.

Laura: CHICKEN!
Chicken: LAURA!
Laura and Chicken start dancing.

Everyone except Laura and Chicken: *~*;

Danielle: Right.

Yue gets ready to fire an arrow at Danielle.

Danielle grabs the bow and arrow out of his hand. She aims, shoot and hits Yue and it cut his throat and since there’s an artery there blood is spurting out everywhere and getting everyone covered with blood (Laura and the Chicken are doing a kick line). Yue disappears into a puff of smoke.

Danielle: That was, different.

Lauren L: Laura, it’s your turn.

Laura: Oh (!_! that’s a sad face!) Chicken I got to battle now. I’ll dance with you after ok?

Chicken: Ok Laura, GOOD LUCK!

Bell: DDDDDDDDDDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!

Li: You have problems.

Laura: Me? Who’s going out with a person who’s trying to screw a tree?

Li: I’m not going out with her anymore!

Laura: Hmm. Whatever.

Li takes out an ofuda (lightening).

Li: God of thunder!

A lightening bolt comes flying at Laura. Laura makes a REALLY high-pitched noise and cracks (cracks, is destroyed who really cares?!) the lightening bolt.

Li: What the-

Laura: (in the same voice) FUDGE!

Li: (covering his ears) SHUT UP!

Li takes out his sword and gets ready to slash Laura with it.

Laura opens a cage filled with Emu (and they’re mean). They run at Li and start picking at him.

Chicken: COME MY MINIONS!
All the birds in the whole world (and squirrels) come and eat Dib’s big, greasy head. I mean they attack Li (then they eat Dib’s big, greasy head!).

Li: @_@

Laura: Are you alive.

Laura kicks Li in the ribs and he coughs up blood (ok I’m feeling a little [meaning not a lot] gory right now!).

Laura: I WIN!

All the birds and squirrels carry Li away into the forest and than fly into the land of fairy  dust and toenails. 

Chicken and Laura start to dance together again.

Sakura: (singing) MY TURN!
Jen: Uh…

Bell: JJJJJJJJJEEEEEENNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFFFFFFFEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLL-IIIIIIIIIIIUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

Sakura releases her staff.

Jen: WHERCK!

Jen walks over to Sakura grabs the staff out of her hand and starts beating the crap out of her it.

Sakura: STOP!

Jen: GOBBLE GOBBLE!

Sakura takes her staff back.

Jen picks up Jaime and starts hitting Sakura with Jaime.

Jamie: JEN!

Jen throws Jaime into Sakura. Jaime runs off of Sakura.

Jaime: DON’T EVER DO THAT AGAIN JEN!
Laura: That was so wrong.

Sakura releases the wood card. So wood goes everywhere. Jen breaks a piece off starts beating up Sakura with it.

Sakura: NO FAIR!

Sakura releases the arrow card. Arrows go everywhere.

Jaime: THAT IS UNFORGIVABLE!
Lucy: UNFORGIVABLE!

Everyone except Jaime and Lucy: What the hell?

Jen takes one of the arrows that’s flying and starts chasing Sakura with it.

Sakura: CANNIBAL!
Jen throws the arrow and it hits the Sakura in the arm. So, it obviously bleeds but it’s not as much blood as Yue.

Sakura: NOT FAIR!

Sakura releases the song card. Song starts to mimic Lauren L playing the flute.

Lauren L: STOP MIMICKING ME!

Song keeps playing.

Lauren L: (whose face is turning REALLY red with anger) YOU THINK YOU’RE BETTER THAN ME?

Song keeps playing and nods.

Lauren L takes out her flute and starts plying the same song. While she’s playing, she’s moving toward Song. When she’s about a foot away she kicks Song and makes it screw up.

Lauren L: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I’M BETTER THAN YOU! HAHAHAHA!!

Chris: Looks like the insanity here has finally changed here.

Lauren L: (to Sakura) You thought your little card was better than me?

Sakura: YEAH!

Lauren L takes her flute and starts beating up Sakura.

Jen: Uh, this is my battle.

Lauren L: FINE!

Jen goes over to Sakura, only to find she’s unconscious.

Jen: That sucks!

Bell: SSSSCCCAAAAAAAARRRRRRRYYYYYY MMMMMOOOOONNNKKKEEYYY SSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHOOOWWWWWW!!!!

Laura: SCARY MONKEY SHOW!? WHERE!?

Lauren K: It’s just the bell.

Laura: Oh yeah. OH WELL!

Eriol releases his staff.

Lucy: OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO!! SHINY!

Lucy tries to grab it but Eriol won’t let go.

Eriol: LET GO!
Lucy: SCREW YOU!
Eriol: LET GO!

Lucy lets go. It flies back and hits him in the head (not to mention, it’s supposed to resemble a sun on, so it has spikes).

Eriol: I’m ok.

Lucy: That sucks!

Eriol creates a cow.

Lucy: What the hell is a cow supposed to do?

Cow: MOOOOOO!

Cow: NO ONE LIKES ME!
Chicken: BERNIE!
Cow: CHICKEN!

Laura: So that’s Bernie.

Lucy opens up a dingo cage and all the dingoes come out. They run toward Eriol and starts eating him.

Lucy: Oh and I hope they just would have trampled him. OH WELL!

The dingoes run away and leave a half-eaten corpse.

Lauren L: I’m oh so musical.

Chris: Only I say that.

Lauren K: What’d I miss.

Out of know where a back of wolfs come and chase everyone out of the zoo.

 

 

                                                            The End