The CCS Screw Up the World…Again!

 

 

Lauren: Do you guys really think they could screw up the past?

Jaime: well they screw up the present pretty bad. 

Danielle: Well now they have a reason to screw up the past, Sailor Venus is one of them.

Everyone glares at Chris.

Chris: What?

Jenn: And nobody really likes Ruby moon enough to argue Sailor Venus’s joining them to destroy the world or us.

Lucy: Nice going Chris.

Chris: Why is everything my entire fault!

Chicken: Because the whole world loves you.

Laura: except for us.

Everyone except Chris: Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Little Girl: Hello Mister, can you give me directions to,

Chris: AHHHHHHHH! The Horny Girl!!!!!!

Little Girl: why, why are you afraid of me? (Tears start to swell up in her eyes) Did I do something wrong? I just, I just… WAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!

The Little girl starts to cry and say: I just wanted to know how to get home!!!!!!!!

Lauren: Look what you did now Chris! You made a little girl cry!

Jenn: Chris, get off of me…

Chris: oh sorry…

Everyone except Chris: Hahahahahahahahaha!

Jaime: Don’t worry, it’s okay we’ll help you get home and find your mommy.

Little Girl: o ok, as long as the mean man doesn’t come.

Laura: Don’t worry; the mean man has other business to take care of.

Lucy: Yes, you are going to get a hold of one of your anime lovers and find out what they’re doing!

Chris: why me?

Danielle: Because it’s YOUR fault!

Chicken: Yea!

Little Girl: ahhhhhhh! Talking Chicken!!!!!!!!!

Laura: don’t worry; he’s my best friend.

Little Girl: What does horny mean? I don’t have horns so it must mean something else…

Laura and Lucy and Lauren start cracking up.

Danielle: uhhhhhh Jaime, you handle this one, you’re the babysitter.

Jaime: Oh Chris, the mean man, is just soooooo stupid he thought you had horns and was afraid.

Little Girl: ooooooooooo

Everyone except Chris and the Little Girl: HAHAHAHAHA!

Chris: humph!

Lucy: don’t you have business to attend to?

Jenn: Don’t be a chicken Chris!

Chicken: hey, what’s wrong with Chickens?

Lauren whispering to Lucy: lots obviously.

Lucy and Lauren: HAHAHAHAHA!

Laura: what?

Chicken: they were mean to me.

Laura: don’t worry about it, Lucy can’t help it, she’s (whispering to Chicken) spspspsssspspspsp!

Lucy kicks Laura in to a bush and she gets all scratched.

Laura: OW!

Chris: Fine! I’m on my way. This’ll be a real blast! (Sarcastically)

Chris walks back to his house and everyone else goes to take the Little Girl home.

At Chris’s House

Chris: Let’s see, Ruby moon must have written her number somewhere…aha! Right on a picture of her next to my nightstand? How’d that get there, oh well!

Shows a picture of Ruby moon winking and at the bottom in red ink it says Call Me, 797-3647

Chris picks up the phone and dials.

Ruby moon: OMG! It’s Chris!

Sailor Venus: WHAT!!!! He doesn’t call me!

Sakura: how do you know it’s him?

Ruby moon: because this is my Chris cell phone, only Chris knows the number!

Yue: Holy Clow! You are obsessed aren’t you!

Ruby moon: Shut up Yue-butt! I’m on the phone! …Hello?

Chris: uh hey, Ruby moon.

Ruby moon: Oh Chris you’re phone voice makes me melt even more than your real voice!

Sailor Venus: Good! You can date on the phone and I can date him for real!

Ruby moon: Shut up you sluttish, slut-ball of puss! Hehe, so what’s up baby?

Chris: Don’t Call Me That!

Ruby moon: fine, what do you want?

Chris: uh (thinking to himself: I know I’ll be suave!) Where are you? I was wondering if we could hang out?

Venus: What!

Ruby moon: how did you get on the other line?

Venus: Uhhhhh… *CLICK*

Ruby moon: ummm, I’d love to but I sort a can’t.

Chris: Why not? I might not want to later.

Ruby moon: OH, uh lemme ask.

Ruby moon: Hey guys? Can I go back to the present to meet Chris?

Venus: WHAT!!!! You’ve got to be kidding me!

Li: I don’t see why not? (Looks at Sakura and smiles)

Sakura: Uh yeah, you can go. (Smiles at Li)

Ruby moon: okay, bye

Ruby moon disappears

Ruby moon: hey Chris!

Chris Turns around with the phone still in his hand

Chris: oh hey, can I ask you a question?

Ruby moon: only if you strip down to your underwear.

Chris: NO! With my luck as soon as I do They’ll come walking in!

Ruby moon: fine, I’ll settle with just your shirt off.

Chris: NOO!!

Ruby moon sighs.

Ruby moon: Fine. I guess you want to know what we were doing and where we were.

Chris: Yes…

Ruby moon: well, ummm all I can tell you is….

Ruby moon knocks Chris out with a book.

Ruby moon: hmmmm, the Bible?

The Next Day…

Chris: YAWN!!!!

Ruby moon: (in British accent) Good morning Darling.

Chris: (in British accent) What? Hey why is my voice all-weird? I sound like I’m British, and where are we?

Ruby moon: In England…

Chris: Oh no! Did you get me drunk again!!!!! God this accent is annoying!

Ruby moon: nope, we just went back in time and changed the past… whoops! I shouldn’t have said that!

Chris: God Damn-it! What did you change? This accent is so god damn annoying!!!

Ruby moon: I think it’s sexy! Any way, we just kind of got back at you by screwing up the revolutionary war…

Chris: Oh and you think this is funny!!!!

Ruby moon: ummm, no.

RING RING!

Chris: Even the damn telephone sounds British! Hello?

Laura: what the fudge is going on here!?! I’m married and I have 2 fudging Children!

Chris: Well, at least you’re not married to Ruby moon! Hold on, I got a beep.

Jaime: Chris what the hell did you’re two little girlfriends do!?!

Ruby moon: I’m his girlfriend, ahhhhhhhh!

Chris: Get Off!!! I’m the husband now obey me!!!

Ruby moon: Somebody’s grumpy! Humph!

CLICK

Jaime: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Chris: Stop laughing like a hyena and get over here!

Jaime: and where exactly is here?

Chris: Uhhhhhhhhh, 236 McCauley Street?

Jaime: okay, be there as soon as I…

CLICK

Laura: Why the hell did you leave me on hold so long?

Chris: sorry, meet me at 236 McCauley Street, bye!

CLICK

RING RING!

Chris: Ruby moon? Why do we live on McCauley street?

Ruby moon: oh, I made you a war hero. Nobody knows what you did but you have a whole bunch of things named after you.

Chris: *-*;

….

Chris: Ruby moon is locked in the basement; I had to get rid of her while we’re talking

Lauren: Good job, I never thought I’d say that!

Everyone except Chris: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Chris: anyway, Ruby moon told me the whole story, the CCS people…

Lucy: Freaks, just say it, freaks!

Jenn: Gosh, this accent is so crazy; it’s affecting my vocabulary, drastically. I sound like a homosexual!

Danielle: yea Laura, HOMO….

Laura: I meant homo-sapient!

Danielle: sure….

Danielle and Jaime: HAHAHAHA!

Lauren: what are they talking about?

Lucy: it’s best not to ask sometimes.

Chris: anyway! They went back in time and screwed up the American Revolution!

Dun Dun DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNN!!!!

Lauren: well, how do we fix it?

Jaime: why don’t we…

Danielle: try to fix it, what did they do?

Chris: well, they made the British win obviously…

Jaime: hey, I got an idea!

Laura: Well, what else did they do? And how did they make those assholes win?

Jenn: I think you are forgetting we’re part of those assholes now.

Laura: oh yeah…

Jaime: hello? Is anyone listening?

Lauren: does anyone have an idea?

Jaime: I do!

Lucy: we could… never mind that won’t work.

Jaime: I have an idea!

Danielle: What if we go back in time and fix it?!

Lauren: yea, that’ll work!

Chris: we just have to find out exactly what they did.

Jaime: SHUTUP!!!!! I HAVE AN IDEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Laura: what???

Lucy: SHE HAS AN IDEA!!!!

Laura: oh.

Jaime: why don’t we just go back in time before they go back in time and stop them!

Jenn: will that work?

Danielle: yea, definitely!

Lauren: we just have to get to that time machine

Laura: that might be difficult you don’t know what they have guarding it

Chicken: what if they have Giant Pots of Bar-B-Q sauce!!!!!

Laura: Chicken’s a little paranoid about summer coming and all.

Chicken: or, or, skewers!!!!

Everyone: right…

Jaime: we just need to send a spy to go check out the competition.

Everyone looks at Chris.

Chris: Oh no, not me!

Danielle: it is your fault it happened in the first place.

Chris: but how do I get there?

Lauren: good point.

Lucy: Hey Lauren! I got an idea!!!

Lucy whispers something to Lauren

Lauren: Good Idea!

Lauren assembles her flute in one/tenth of a second and sends Chris flying back to the U.S. (oh Chris was Confused by this part so for all you confused people out there Lauren hit Chris with her flute to the US)

Laura: OMG! Lucy actually came up with a plan that worked!

Lucy: Guess I’m not that stupid after all!

Jaime: Well, I never thought that would happen but good job Lucy.

Danielle: Now, we just have to wait for Chris to tell us what’s going on.

…

Chris: Damn, women! I hate them, I hate them all!!!!

Man: uhhhh whatever dude.

Man 2: are you gay or something?

Chris: uhhhhh…

Man: that’s okay don’t answer, we’ll catch you later dude and the HA meeting.

Man 2: Oh no we won’t, we don’t go to Homo’s Anonymous!!!

Man and Man 2: HAHAHA!

Chris: (under his breath) assholes, why I want to just give them a piece of my mind!

Chris walks away and somehow manages to get back to Circus with the time machine.

Guard: Man I could use a donut right now.

Guard 2: me 2, if only that lima bean stand sold donuts I’d be over there right now.

Chris: Hmmmmmmm…Donuts.

Chris Goes over to the truck and buys a bag of Lima Beans

Chris: I LOOOOOVE LIMA BEANS!!!!

…

Jaime: so what’s guarding the time machine?

Chris: A couple of hungry guards, I’ve got a plan though.

Jaime: Okay we’ll be right there.

Chris: how are you going to get here?

Jaime: oh, we’ll use Lucy’s transporter.

Chris: *-*;

Jaime: Bye!

CLICK

Lucy: Let’s go already!

Everyone gets transported to the Circus on Long Island.

Lauren: Wow! That was fast. Not as fast as my flute though.

Laura: whatever.

Chicken: I almost got fried! *-*;

Danielle: Shut the hell up! We have business to take care of.

Jenn: Here give me that!

Jenn grabs chicken and throws him in to a tree.

Laura: Chicken!

Everyone except Laura and Chicken: SHHHHHHHHH!

Everyone creeps along the side of the circus tent until they can see the guards.

Chris: We’ll split up. I’ll take Jenn and we’ll go and get some donuts to distract them. Then Jaime, you take everyone else in to the time machine and stop them from messing up the world.

Jaime: okay!

…

Chris: (Has a moustache on and an Italian outfit so he looks like a salesperson.) Donuts get your donuts!

Jenn: Really Cheap!

The two guards waddle up to the cart giving everyone else the chance to sneak in unnoticed.

Danielle: over there!

Lauren: when did Chris say we had to go back to?

Lucy: how about we stop them when they’re planning it?

Jaime: yea, when they sent Sailor Venus to distract us at the horseback-riding place.

Laura: You get in; I’ll set the controls and then hop in.

Laura sets the controls to the abandoned warehouse around the corner from the corral. (Don’t ask how we know, I don’t have time to explain.)

Jaime: This is it!

Everyone climbs in the building through a broken window, and hop down.

Li: What are you doing here? I thought we sent a distraction.

Yue: and why’d you jump through the window? The door was open.

Danielle: stop being a smart-ass Yue!

Lucy: we’re on to your little game.

Lauren: you think it’s funny to screw up the world don’t you?

Sakura: I thought we took care of them!

Jaime: you did, yesterday. We went back in time to stop you before you could screw up the world!

Ruby moon: How’d you get past the guards?

Laura: they were hungry.

Li: I told you we should have used attack dogs!!

Danielle: Now we’re going to battle you!

Sakura: you can’t beat us this time!

Yue: what are you talking about? They beat us every time! We should just surrender and save ourselves from getting our Asses kicked!

Ruby moon: Shut up Yue!

Yue: Make me!

Ruby moon starts to beat up Yue until he passes out.

Li: Now look what you’ve done! We have one less person then they do now!

Ruby moon: Oh like this is my fault that Yue’s a retarded freak with wings!

Li: I wouldn’t talk Ruby moon! Looks like you’re a freak too!

Ruby moon and Li start to beat each other up.

Meilin and Sakura: Li!

Sakura: Hey where’d you come from?

Meilin: Get out of my way you slutty tramp!

Sakura punches Meilin and Meilin beats up Sakura until she too passes out.

Meilin then goes to help Li and they all end up passing out.

Lauren: that was easy.

Lucy: oh! I wanted to kick some ass!

Jaime: next time Lucy, next time.

Danielle: Let’s go get Chicken out of the tree.

Laura: YAY!

 

 

 

THE END