Under The Bed…

 

Jaime: I'm bored…
Laura: Shut Up Jaime, You're always bored!
Lucy: we should do something…
Danielle: Really! (Sarcastically)
Lauren: Well, are we going to do something or not?
Jenn: I Know! Let's scare Chris!
Jaime: How?
Lucy: But Chris is already Scary!
Laura: HEHEHEHEHEHEHE!
Jaime: Ha Ha, Very Funny…
Jenn: Well, we could go under his bed and than grab his leg when he goes to sleep.
Danielle: Good idea but I'm not going anywhere near his bed.
Lauren and Jaime: Me neither
Jenn: No Way!
Laura: Me neither!
Everyone looks at Lucy
Lucy: Huh?
…
Under a Bed.
Lucy: Damn, I should pay attention more often.
Foot Steps…
Lucy grabs the leg of the person who walked in to the room.
Matt: AHHHHHH!!!!
Lucy: Holy Shit! You're not Chris!!
Matt: Wha… Who are you??
Lucy: Uh… I'm sorry… I thought this was someone else's house…
Matt: Oh, ok.
Lucy: Why are you so calm all of a sudden?
Matt: I have mood swings. I can go from extremely happy, to dark and brooding in a matter of seconds!
Lucy: That's nice… But where am I? And why do you have such a weird accent?
Matt: You must be from the States; you're in Australia mate!
Lucy: Au- Au….
Matt: You still didn't answer my question, who are you?
Lucy: Lucy.
Matt: Oh, you don't happen to write Battles on a website do you?
Lucy: Yes, why? 
Matt: OMG! You're Battles are the funniest! Along with Jaime's…
Lucy: Right… I need to be getting back…
Matt: Can I come mate?
Lucy: As long as you never say that fucking word again…
Matt: okay.
Lucy: Now, Where's that transporter….?
Matt: Transporter?! Laura's Transporter! This is so exciting! Let me try please!

Lucy: Ok, have fun. Oh yeah, and why do you have drums under your bed?

The transporter pops out of nowhere and they both walk in. Matt starts pressing buttons, which happen to be the right ones and the transporter goes back to the US.

In America, where everyone’s waiting.

Danielle: Lucy… Who’s that?

Lucy: Uh… (Damn those blanks in the brain!) I think he said his name was mate or Australia…

Chris: That can’t be a person’s name.

Everyone except Chris, Matt and Lucy jump (Matt and Lucy could see Chris standing behind everyone and just didn’t say anything).

Laura: Where the fuck did you come from!?

Chris: I was here the whole time, even when you were cruelly plotting against me.

Lauren: Don’t give us your drama shit.

Chris: Ok, but you know what? I was here the whole time and NONE of you said ‘Hi’ or ‘Hello’ or ‘Hi, Chris’ WHY!!?

Matt: Didn’t you just answer your question before?

Chris: How?

Matt: You said you were behind them, so they couldn’t see you, thus couldn’t say any of those greetings.

Chris: Well… WHAT’S YOUR EXCUSE?! YOU BOTH SAW ME!

Lucy: Do I ever say hi to you? NO! You fuckin’ scare me!

Matt: Ok… Hi, Chris.

Danielle: You still didn’t tell us who you are.

Matt: I’m Matt.

Jenn: Suicidal Matt?! In a human suit! EEEEEEEEEEE!

CCS walks over.

Yue: H-H-H-Hi, J-J-J-

Jaime: SHUT UP!

Yue: (gets red in the face) She yelled at me… Oh… (Passes out).

Matt: CCS! COOL!

Eriol: Well that’s a new one…

Tomoyo: Why do you not-

Vanessa walks over and kicks Tomoyo in the head.

Tomoyo: OWWWWWWWWW!
Sakura starts kissing Tomoyo’s head, then the kissing turns to licking and progresses from there on.

Chris: This would be kinda’ hot if they weren’t animated losers.

Laura: (in the same voice she did at Danielle’s house that time…) YOU PERVERT!

Laura kicks Chris in his shins.

Chris: OW! OW!

Matt: I don’t know whether to be turned on, or really kinda’ scared-

Laura and Lucy: ADJECTIVE! ADJECTIVE! ADJECTIVE!

Chris: Stop it!

Sakura walks away from Tomoyo and over to Matt and looks him in the eye. Then she goes and licks his cheek and starts trying to get into his mouth, which she succeeds at.

Vanessa: Holy shit… What the fuck did I miss…?
Danielle: Lucy, next time, DON’T BRING STRANGERS BACK WITH YOU!

Lucy: Stranger’s are cool though.

Matt: Uh… Should I be enjoying this?
Chicken: (in slow motion) NOOOOOO! He’s going to be turned into one of them!

Chicken pecks Sakura’s eyes and she stops molesting Matt.        

Jaime: I know who this guy is.

Everyone except the anime freaks, and Jaime:  You Do!?

Jaime: He’s the one that won the battle contest.                                                                                                             

Everyone except the anime freaks and Jaime: OH YEAH!

Matt: God, I am so disgusted.

Sakura: You’re hot!

Vanessa: Back off you lesbian!

Matt: Wow! A lesbian! That is so cool!

Danielle: No, it’s really not…

Matt: Oh. Well what do you guys do here for fun?

Lauren: piss off the anime freaks and Chris.

Chris: Hey!

Jenn: Hey guys I’m back what happened?

Laura: Lucy messed up your plan, she went to the wrong house.

Chris: What plan?

Matt: Well….

Vanessa kicks matt before he can say anymore.

Matt: Ow, what was that for?!

Jaime: We don’t answer his questions.

Matt: Oh….

Sakura: I can SEE!!!!!

Matt: Oh shit…

Sakura: Where’s everyone else?

Sakura looks around.

Lauren: They left.

Sakura: oh well…. (Blows Whistle [Not the wrong way, just so it’ll make noise. Okay that sounded even more wrong, I’m just going to shut up now.])

 All of the CCS Freaks line up like they were soldiers, saluting and everything.

Sakura: At Ease Men!

Ruby Moon and Yue: AHEM.

Sakura: And Bi’s…

Tomoyo: ahem.

Sakura: And Lesbians…

Kero: ahem.

Sakura: Oh Screw this! Everyone stand normal!

All of the CCS freaks stand regularly.

Sakura: All right you normal people, we have a proposition to make.  We would like to invite you to a dance in order to make peace.

Lucy: Are you fucking shitting me?

Yue: Hey Jaime, you could be my date.

Jaime: Eww…

Laura:  Awwww Jaime you know you want to DON'T DENY IT!
Jaime: Uh no.
Vanessa: Why would we go to some shitty dance?
Li: (licks his hand and the pulls it through his hair) 'Cause, it's cool, we're cool, you're not really cool so, you get the point.
Vanessa kicks him in the balls, which lead to him falling over in pain (well actually acting He has no balls, dick or any other things I may have forgotten)
Chicken walks over to Chris, jumps up to his ear and whispers something in his ear.
Chris: (gasps in surprise) Maybe after the dance we'll do (yes, do is meant to have a perverted meaning in this sentence) something but, of course I'll go with you. Hopefully Christine won't be her normal self and bitch about it.
Chicken: (snorts in disgust) Christine, Trying to steal you from me
Laura: CHICKEN!
Laura hits Chicken in the head with a stick she just picked up off the ground.
Laura: WATCH YOUR MOUTH! (Heh heh heh)
Suppi: Good, you'll be attending
CCS runs away unexpectedly.
Lauren: But we never said we were
Jenn: We'll just destroy their party.
Matt: Ok, I'm totally lost!  Why do you have this vendetta against them?
Danielle: Again, because they were supposed to stay out of trouble in the real world (not the show) and not be seen. They didn't listen, they cause havoc, they pay.
Matt: Ok.

Jaime: You should know that.

Lauren: If you read the battles.

Matt: I just forgot.
A bird lands on Matt's head, shrieks and falls dead off his head.
Everyone: Uh? What?
Jenn: Was there a point to that?
Chris: I guess not
Chicken: I guess you're right
Chicken and Chris make out.
Everyone except them: EWWWWWWW! EWWWWWWWW! EWWWWWWWW!
Laura: This is worse than 'Be right back.'
Lucy: MUCH WORSE!
Jaime: Scarred even more for life!
Lauren (while covering her eyes) hits Chris and Chicken over their heads with her flute until they pass out.
Everyone opens their eyes slowly and then fully when they see that Chris and Chicken are knocked out.
Matt: That’s normal?
Danielle: Far from it
Vanessa: I'm going to go vomit now
Jaime: Ugh Me too.
Vanessa and Jaime run away in opposite directions, vomit, and then walk back.
A bed falls from the sky onto all the 'normal' people and sends them to Greece under some person's bed.
In Greece.
Jenn: What's with today? A dying bird, on Matt's head, possessed Chris and Chicken, CCS trying to invite us to some party we would never attend and they think they're cool. WHAT'S WITH THIS?!
Danielle: The last part is normal; they think they're cool. The one with Chris and Chicken, you never know these days! The others I don't know and don’t care!
Everyone except for unconscious Chris and Chicken: HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Laura: Everyone shut up! Someone's coming!

Two people saunter in to the room giggling. Everyone except Chris and Chicken look at each other because they recognize the two voices.

Sakura and Eriol start to kiss passionately. (We can’t see this but I’m telling what’s going on, all we can hear is noises.)

Sakura: mmm... Eriol. You’re such a good kisser.

Eriol: I’m good at other things too.

Sakura: Prove it to me.

Everyone under the bed that is still conscious is thinking ew ew ew…. Sakura and Eriol make “groaning” noises. (LOL remember from 8 Mile)

Eriol takes off Sakura’s shirt and Sakura takes off Eriol’s pants.

Inside Eriol’s Pants: BOING!

Sakura: Oh My God! How does that fit in there?

…

Lauren: ew, ew, ew! (Whispering)

Vanessa: This is really, really disturbing

Lucy: No Shit!

Danielle: Sssh! You want us to get caught under here?!

Jaime: What an awkward situation that would be!

…

Eriol: It’s a secret.

Sakura: Oh, tell me! Tell Me!!

Eriol gets on top of Sakura and uh starts to do her but he’s still like a foot in the air above her.  They try to kiss but they can’t reach each other.

Sakura: I can’t…do this…

Eriol: huh?

Sakura rolls off the bed.

Jenn: Oh thank God!

Everyone else: SSSHHHHH!

Eriol: Sakura wait!

Sakura starts to pick up her clothes and put them on.

Eriol: Sakura?

Sakura looks up and looks at Eriol.

Sakura: I can’t stay too mad at that face.

Eriol: ^-^

Sakura: But I can’t sleep with you either.

Eriol: -_-;

Eriol: Why not?

Sakura: It’s just too….Big!

Eriol: Well, that’s not usually a problem, but okay.

Sakura: I mean I was nervous enough giving up my virginity and…

Eriol: Yeah, like you’re so innocent and pure!

Sakura: What?

Eriol: That’s right you slut, I know all about your history!

Sakura: My history?

Eriol: That's right I know all about the time you went backstage with Marilyn Manson.

Sakura: HIM!?

Eriol: YEAH!

Matt: (whispers to everyone) Does this always happen?

Chris starts moving while unconscious and grabs Matt's leg.

Matt: *.*;

Matt starts trying to shake off Chris from his leg, which ends up hitting Chris against the floor and bed, making a lot of noise.

Sakura: You hear that?

Jenn: (whispers to Chris) Chris stop molesting Matt's leg you queer homo!

Chris starts humping Matt's leg, while still unconscious.

Matt: AHHHHHHHHHH! HOMO, GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME!

Eriol: (who's sitting on the bed with Sakura) Yeah, I think so.

Sakura: Hmmm

Somehow, while being under the bed, Matt has a Boner. It goes through the mattress and sticks up through the bed.

Everyone who's conscious: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

All the females run out from under the bed screaming.

Sakura notices the dick.

Sakura: OOOoooOOOoooOOO I got a present.

Sakura starts licking the dick.

Eriol: SAKURA?!

Sakura: (with her mouth over the male reproductive organ) You want some? You can suck half and I can suck the other half.

Under the bed, Matt's eyes roll into the back of his head.

Eriol: NO! NEVER! I thought you were going to blow me tonight! What the hell happened to that? Huh? HUH?!

Sakura: (takes her mouth off the dick) I told you, it's TOO BIG!

Eriol: And what about the one coming through the bed! IT’S TOO LONG!

Sakura: Better long then big. ^_~

Eriol: That’s the same thing!

Eriol walks out of the bedroom past the females who ran out from under the bed, as if they're invisible.

Eriol: (mutters as he leaves) Fucking whore

Sakura: Oh well, more for me! ^_^

Sakura goes back to sucking. Everyone that's not sucking, unconscious, or a guy with a rather large boner, in other words, all the females omitting Sakura, vomit.

Vanessa: NASTY SHIT!

Lauren: That's disgusting.

Lucy: (to Laura) You like fat things, why don't you chase after Eriol.

Laura: I DON'T LIKE FAT THINGS LIKE THAT!

Danielle: Can we please leave? Oh yeah NEVER BRING BACK STRANGERS, LUCY! EVER!

Lucy: My bad!

Jamie: Should we get him out from under the bed before Sakura sucks his dick off?

Jenn: Have fun Jaime.

Jaime: No way!

Ten minutes later.

Jaime gets ready to get Matt out from under the bed in one piece.

Jaime: How did I become the one to get this job?

Lauren: Cause no one else wants to do it.

Jaime fishes in her pocket for something. She takes out a picture.

Jaime: Damn it Lucy! I thought I threw this away!

Lucy: I found it in the garbage and put it in your pocket!

Laura, Lucy and Danielle: HAHAHAHAHAHA

Jaime: Oh well this’ll do for what I need it for,

Vanessa: That sounds so wrong!

Jaime takes the picture of Chris that Jaime’s “friends” gave her as a joke.

Jaime: Hey Matt, Look at this!

Matt’s huge boner shrinks and his eyes roll back in to focus.

Sakura: OH! My treat disappeared. T-T

Matt: God, that picture could make a gay guy straight!

Jenn: What was with that?

Matt: An allergic reaction, I think.  That happens whenever a straight guy touches my leg.  It’s like a defense mechanism. This is why I can’t play soccer…

Danielle: Right…

Lucy: But Chris isn’t straight…?

Chris wakes up from being unconscious.

Chris: What did I miss?

Two police cops barge in to the room. They see 7 girls standing off in the corner, Chris with his arms wrapped around Matt’s leg, A HUGE hole in Matt’s pants, and a weird looking girl only wearing a sheet.

Cop 1: Ok, we’re taking you in.

The cops pick up Chris and drag him away.

Sakura: What about them? (She just notices us now…)

Cop 2: We don’t have enough jail cells…

Lauren: Lucky for us!

Chris: NOOOOOOO!!!!

Sakura: Gosh, can’t a girl get some meaningless sex to make the love of her life jealous anymore?

Sakura walks out.

Jaime: Okay, this is just too weird…

Laura: Let’s send him home now.

Matt: Me?

Lauren picks up her flute and whacks him back to Australia.

 

The End?