CAST OF CARACTERS (IN ORDER OF APPEARANCE)   Ø      CHRIS Ø      LUKE Ø      CAITLIN Ø      NICOLE Ø      MR. MEAN Ø      JAIME Ø      JENN Ø      LAURA Ø      LUCY Ø      DANIELLE Ø      LOREN (Jaime’s comments)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chris:        Lets go bowling!

 

Luke: Chris!? Don’t you remember the last time we went bowling?! Caitlin got pregnant again!

 

Chris: Exactly!

 

Luke: your such a G.A.G.F.I.

 

Caitlin and Nicole in Unison: STOP IT YOU GUYS LETS JUST GO!  (muttering under their breath) Men! When will they learn!

 

TEN MINUTES LATER

 

Chris: Alright we are here

 

Luke: Good.  Now Chris calm down okay, don’t get too excited. Remember:

Caitlin likes her eggs unfertilized in the morning!

 

Caitlin: LUCAS!  (she runs up to him and slaps him, leaving a mark that stays for two weeks)

 

Nicole: Caitlin you already have Three kids, you do not need another!

 

Caitlin: CHILDBIRTH IS FUN! Lalalalala

 

Chris: (to Luke) Nine months before it is too!

 

Luke: I hate you. (Luke is still a virgin)

 

Mr. Mean (the guy at the desk): WHAT SIZE SHOE HAVE YOU!? (he looks at both Chris and Luke's chests and grins) Yum.

 

Caitlin: Why did you say "Yum,"

 

Mr. Mean: Ummmmm….. cause its almost time for lunch?

 

All four Musketeers: (thinking) It's Six o'clock at night!?

 

They all go to lanes 4-5

 

Chris sees Jaime's battle group and groans

 

Chris: Shoot its them and they look like they want a battle.  I KNOW! Why don’t we upset them, battle them and win!

 

Luke and Nicole: What the. . . (they are interrupted by Jaime)

 

Jaime: HI!!!!

 

Jenn: (flies through the window) hello. Jenn rules. All hail me!

 

Laura: My chicken died her feathers purple isn't it pretty and just SO)O)O)O cute??

 

Lucy: EWWWWWWW purple is gay!!

 

Chris and Luke: We agree.

 

Jaime: Hey! Purple is my favorite color!!

 

Chris to Caitlin: Upset them! You are good at that!

 

Caitlin: YUCK! Jaime your shirt is disgusting!! Where did you get it?!?

 

Jaime: UH, I got it from Limited Too! (I DON’T shop at Limited Too!)

 

Caitlin: EWWWWW!  How Juvenile!  You are supposed to start shopping at Limited, and Charlotte Russe, and cool places for teens once you're in Junior High!

 

Jaime: HOW DARE YOU OFFEND MY STYLE! I challenge you to a battle!

 

Chris: Wait? Where is Danielle?

               

Danielle falls through the roof, hits a bowling ball and gets a strike

 

Danielle: Hello People.

 

The Battle goes as follows:

 

        Chris vs. Lucy

        Caitlin vs. Jaime

        Luke vs. Laura

        Nicole vs. Danielle

        Loren vs. Jenn

 

Loren: Chrissssssssss! Hey sexy!! You look hott tonight baby! 

 

Chris: Shutup my wife is here!

 

Loren: Oh oops sorry!

 

        Round one Chris vs. Lucy

 

Chris: Stares at Lucy evilly)- PURPLE!

 

Lucy: Lets out a blood-curdling scream: EWWWWWWW!!!!! Purple! Ouch (falls to the ground)

 

                CHRIS WINS! J

 

Round Two: Cait vs. Jaime

 

Caitlin: (shows a picture of Mrs. ****** in her yearbook) This is your favorite teacher rite?

 

Jaime: (faints at the thought)

 

                CAIT WINS! J

 

Round Three: Luke vs. Laura

 

Luke: Your chicken looks ugly!

 

Laura: (starts hysterically crying and runs out of the alley)

 

        LUKE WINS! J

 

Round Four: Nicole vs. Danielle

 

Nicole: I don’t know

 

Danielle: I HATE THOSE WORDS (she goes into a coma)

 

        NICOLE WINS J

 

Round Five: Loren vs. Jenn

 

Loren:  Guess what Jenn?

 

Jenn: What?

 

Loren:  My bra size is "23c!"

 

Jenn: How dare you share personal information with me! I hardly know you!  (Jenn runs away because no one has ever told her something so personal and she is abashed! Abashed? What are you Chris? 67? )

 

        LOREN WINS! J

 

Chris: Well, I guess we won

 

Luke: Yeah we did!  Hey Nicole, what are you doing later?

 

Nicole: Nothing why?

 

Luke: I am free wanna "hang," if you know what I mean?

 

Nicole: PERVERT!!!!!!

 

Caitlin and Chris:  They are so perfect for each other. 

 

Chris: Should we have another baby?

 

Caitlin: We can adopt one!

 

Chris: (to Luke) No fair! We can't have fun nine months before!

 

Caitlin (who heard):  Childbirth can also be hurtful.

 

Chris and Luke: Not for us!

 

        They are both slapped hard and they all leave feeling successful, happy, perverted, and in need of aloe for their burns. 

 

Comments. First of all, if this were real, we would so totally kick your ass Chris.  I soo hate you right now.  Losing a battle is insulting!  From reading this battle, I really know why you got in trouble. LOL!