 |
| Yo Ritti! This is just where I screw around to get my ideas to work!!(Hey, beter than screwing up the actual pages right?) |
| Sanjoman2003 BC |
 |
|
SCREENPLAY FOR "woody allen is my god" A Sir walks into a Bar. The Bar is empty. Only chairs. A sir says: I am a sir. A good one too! I have a wife I never beat, children I always buy candy for, and bread I always eat. I have a parrot I never take with me when I'm in the bath, and there are many guns out there that I don't own. I drink only wine, and maybe some beer. And some white russian and vodka. I have a son. I drink with him. I never drink alone. I am a sir. A good one too! A Lady walks into the Bar. The Sir sits down and starts smoking his CIGAR. The Lady SAYS: I am a lady. She sits down and starts to READ THE PAPER. Then she puts it down and DRINKS A GLASS THAT WAS ON THE TABLE. A sexy young woman walks into the Bar. She sits down. The Sir stands up and goes to her. Sir: May I get you a drink, sexy young woman? S.Y.W: No thank you. I'm waiting for someone. Lady: Your boyfriend? SYW: Yes. How did you know? Lady: I am God. Only nobody knows that yet, but Gods know It all. SYW: Oh. (to Sir) G'way! Sir leaves her side. Lady stands up. Says: I am a Lady. But I am also God. Are you surprised? (she sits) Sir: I want to be God too! Lady: Haven't you heard?? There's only ONE God, and that's me. Sir: What if I want to be God too...? Can you be in the God inside the Bar, and I'll be the God outside of the Bar? Lady: No. Sir: Why not? You can't push me around! Lady: I am a Lady. I can do many things. If you are a sir, then you will respect what the Lady says. Sir: Damnit. Lady: Don't swear! Or I'll punish you and send you to hell! Sir: Letting out the god now, are we?! Lady: Shutup! You're not a sir, you're a liar! All liars go to hell! Hell! Hell! Door opens. Hell walks in. Hell: Hello? Lady: Take him with you. Hell: And you are...? Lady: I am God. But I am also a Lady. Can't you see that?! Hell: Oh. Okay. SYW: You don't say much, do you? Hell: No. Sir: I don't want to go with you. Hell: Sorry. Sir: Can't we work this out? I'm sure you'd like a drink! You have a hot sweaty job, don't you? Being Hell and all! Hell: Yes. Sir: A drink then? Make it a Long John. The longer, the better, ha ha ha! SYW: That was a stage laugh. Sir: Be quiet, it's not your turn to speak! SYW sniffs in disgust. Lady: Take him with you! Don't let him trick you! Hell: Okay. You. Come! Sir: No no no! Your drink! Hell: No drink. Hell. Sir: PLEASE! What did I do?! You can't just obey HER without asking for the FACTS!! Don't obey blindly! Dare to think! Sapere Aude! Haven't you ever been to Mary's homepage??? Hell: No. Come! Sir: We need a judge! You can't just take me like this! We need to DISCUSS this! Hell: Why? It's simple. God says you're to come with me. You come with me, and we go to Hell together. That's it. That's all. Sir: NO! Hell: Why not? Don't be rubbish now! You're ruining all these pages! Sir: Please...! SYW: JUDGE!! A judge walks in. Judge: Yes? SYW: Judge, we need you. This man is being taken to Hell, but he talks too much, and I forgot why. Because of God's command, in any case. So we need you. Tell him yourself! Sir: I am being unjustly punished! Judge: You're sweaty too! SYW: It's because he's standing too close to Hell. Get away! Don't you know any better than that?! Lady (laughs) Judge: Are you the god then? Lady nods. Judge: Do you have any i.d? Lady raises an eyebrow. Judge: She's a god alright. Okay, you, you are the Victim. Who is the Willing Undertaker? Hell: Me. I am. Judge: The Accuser, yes, that's you, god. But now we need a witness. (lady looks at syw) SYW: No. I don't remember anything. I'll call someone in. Um... Lady: You can't. Because the person wasn't here from the begining. We need someone who was always here, and only YOU can do that! Besides, you have such a small role so far, so take on this! SYW: Okay, you're the god... Judge: Right! I need a table with a chair on it. I have to sit on that. That makes me the Judge. (sits on it) Okay! Now, plea your innocence, you! Sir: Plea! Plea! Plea! Judge: Enough! Now please accuse. Lady: Accusations! Accusations! Accusations! Judge: Very impressive. Now, you. SYW: I saw all! I saw all! I saw all! Judge: Thank you. Now you. Hell: Give! Give! Give! Lady: Take! Take! Take! Hell: Yes! Yes! Yes! SYW: I saw all! I see this also! Sir: Wait! Wait! Wait! Judge: My dearest godess, this is getting rather out of hand. Please stop sweating, you. Sir: Sorry. Judge: Get away from Hell then! You fool! (thinks for a while) Now apparently, both parties are very very strongly making their points. That is troublesome and makes the Case rather Complicated. Sir: So now what? Judge: We need some jury! Lady: No! That will take too long! Jury smury! Sir needs a lawyer! Or an ice-cream van! Sir: Ooh, I'd like that, please. Lady (snaps her fingers and ice-cream van music can be heard from off the stage): There you are. Will you now go to Hell? You can take the ice-cream with you if you like! Sir: Oh my oh my. That's quite a temptation. SYW: But your ice-cream will melt! And Hell won't ever buy you new ice-cream! Judge: Now now young lady! Ice-cream is ice-cream. It's not a topic to be handled so lightly. A case involving ice-cream is known to take YEARS before the Judge reaches its conclusion. Lady: But if the Sir agrees to go...? Judge: No no no, I am afraid NOT! You called for a Judge, so he is now under Judge Power, that means, Law. He no longer has Free Will. He is now under the Law. You see? Lady: Go to hell! Hell: What, him too? Judge: Please! I am a judge! I cannot! Lady: Hell is filled with people like you! Judge: Yeah right. SYW: What about sexy young men? Are there sexy young men in hell too? Hell: Only those. SYW: Do they stay forever, or leave after a while? Hell: They usually leave. They break 10 hearts and they're back again. It's always the same. Gets rather boring. They hate it in Hell though... (smiles) Melts their mirrors. SYW: Oh. (looks down) Sir: I'll leave now. All: Okay! Bye! Sir LEAVES. |
ANO.REX.I.A NER.VOS.A Anorexic people are noticably thin. They are no longer "at one" with their bodies, but rely completely on their heads, which control and give orders. The body has become their enemy, something that is greedy and needy, and which must be fought against. The control gained through this gives them the feeling of being in independent and knowing what is right and what is wrong for them. People concerned usually love cooking for others, but rarely eat what they have cooked, or pretend to eat it, when they are really spiting their food back into their napkins without anybody noticing. Anorexic people usually come from �when observed superficially- harmonious-seeming families, and due to an over-protected atmosphere, never had the chance to test themselves and discover and develop their personal identities. Eating disorders can be a form of revenge towards a too-tight atmosphere at home; the only thing they feel they can control is their body. A typical familiar relationship would be: the mother and daughter co-exsist as though they cannot live without each other, while the father is emotionally "away" (unreachable). These people isolate themselves as the illness progresses. Nobody is good enough for them. They begin to adapt a "it's all either black or white" way or thinking, and become depressive, which makes them harder to communicate with. Exaggerated financial savings and keeping clean, as well as refusing any form of "fun" activities... Friends and family should act quickly when the following characteristics begin to change the anorexic person: - apathy towards everything - speaking in a low, soft voice - are physically weak - cry as a reaction towards the slightest conflict These are Alarm Signs, and the first step would be to consult a doctor. BUT: Not all noticably thin people are anorexic! DIAG.NO.SIS - Weight loss of 20% during a short while (3-4 months) - Weight loss is self-inflicted through: -strictly controlled eating -avoiding of high calories -hyper physical activity -self-inflicted throwing up - constant thinking about food and body figure, usually in the never-ending form of a vicious circle - perfectionism - hyeractivity - body-structure-vision distorted; the person sees him/herself as "fat", despite great under-weight - extreme fear of gaining weight - ignoring health and disease-possibilities The Body Suffers The pulse slows down, the body temperature sinks, tiredness, freezing, blocked nose. Dry skin, hair with split-ends show the hormone-changes, which also includes the lack of menstruation (girls), and in extreme cases, a change in the body hair. |
The Eating Disorders
anorexia nervosa (restricted eating) bulimia nervosa (sudden attack of eating, and then trying to make "erase" it by forced throwing up) adipositas (overweight) The Statistics Man
Anorexic: 95% female, 15 � 23 years of age Bulimia: 90% middle-class female, 20 � 30 years of age Adipositas: 40 � 65 years of age The Signs of an Eating Disorder An exagerated concern with meals, constant thinking about eating (not-eating)... Not-eating (or pretending to eat, but spitting it into a napkin) is the first obvious sign of an eating disorder; then come: daily weighing, complaints about weight and body structure, conversation topics revolving only around body parts, etc. People concerned sometimes hide their eating disorders by switching to a vegetarian way of life, which may seem very healthy, but they eat less and less each day. Eating, or lack of eating, is a pyschological way of supressing strong emotions and avoiding conflicts or fights. Eating disorders are also an answer to situations or people who demand too much, stress, pyschological feeling of emptiness, the fear of closeness, yet desiring it... It may also be an answer to rage or sometimes even happiness. |
|
FAITH (we lost our godess) where is the sky the blue blue face of a godess the african godess the blue blue african little people bury in the sand little river looks udner the stones little grass looks in the desert little roads race across the earth little wind blows from a cloud breathing sighs into every leaf as the little people call from one hill to another little people celebrate to make the blue blue godess come and laughter chases the grass and swims in the ocean naked at the celebrations, each little people grow and laugh and love every smiling, smiling laughing face the moon loves little people and tells them the godess is every healthy country, every loving person, and the little people understand and the rain tells everyone and the sun tells everyone, and the next day, the sun is blue blue blue blue. EXPLAINATION (SIR YES SIR!) You could let the obviously primitive story-telling language disturb you when reading this poem, but I feel it is very deep and in touch with its soul, even when written in a childish way. Perhaps the ONLY way to write anything with a very deep meaning, and if you don't want to confuse everybody, is by writing with the language and mind of a child. I want to point out that while the "little people" are looking for the godess, nature's several faces helps them. Their Faith and Belief that the godess is here somewhere motivates nature to send grass over the desert, rivers under the stones, and wind into the leaves. Making the earth come alive. Then all that has to happen, is for the little people to become alive and happy. And it is only THEN, that the Moon tells them that the godess is already in them. I personally think that All Gods Are One God. But if you don't agree with me, then please understand that whatever religion or belief people have, it is the one thing that keeps them strong and it is what makes miracles for them happen. Just as it is for you. I hope you can find all these aspects in the poem, despite it's "childish" nature... *Mary smiles* |
|
(This is what happens when you don't revise your first drafts) His first adventure, is what you're about to read. |
The Taj Mahal Is On the Moon What? No waaaaay! I don't believe it! But then again, the last time I looked into a telescope was probably in Grade 4, 1994, with Mrs. she has long hair and lived nearby. We all met on the road by her apartment, Adwoa, Tim, Nancy, and I. It was night, and she told us to look up her telescope. That we did. We were obidient. Sort of. But that was a back-then-hat. And back then, I don't think I'd ever heard of the Taj Mahal. Which isn't my fault. It would make it Rakhi's fault. Because Rakhi is Indian and one of my friends, and it should have been her unrelenting unforgiving duty to tell me of the Taj Mahal! Then again, if the Taj Mahal is on the Moon, then why should she know about it?? Cos then it wouldn't be in India, and Rakhi wouldn't know. Then I'd never have heard the myth of a man drawing the entire Taj Mahal into complex detail, onto a grain of rice. Because I have heard that. And I don't know what to do with this piece of information. Should I start my own private FBI and find out about it? Ice-Cream Is A Sin Then Satan has good taste. Get Down On Your Knees |