BIT:    
  A word used to describe computers, as in "Our son's computer 
  cost quite a bit."     

BOOT:    
  What your friends give you because you spend too much time 
  bragging about your computer skills.     

BUG:    
  What your eyes do after you stare at the tiny green computer 
  screen for more than 15 minutes.    Also: what computer magazine 
  companies do to you after they get your name on their mailing list.     

CHIPS:    
  The fattening, non-nutritional food computer users eat to avoid 
  having to leave their keyboards for meals.     

COPY:    
  What you have to do during school tests because you spend too 
  much time at the computer and not enough studying.     

CURSOR:    
  What you turn into when you can't get your computer to 
  perform, as in "You $#% computer!"     

DISK:    
  What goes out in your back after bending over a computer 
  keyboard for seven hours.     

DUMP:    
  The place all your former hobbies wind up soon after you 
  get a new computer.     

ERROR:    
  What you made the first time you walked into a computer 
  showroom to "just look."     

EXPANSION UNIT:    
  The new room you have to build on to your home to house 
  your computer and all its peripherals.     

FILE:    
  What your secretary can now do to her nails six and a half 
  hours a day, now that the computer does her day's work in 
  30 minutes.     

FLOPPY:    
  The condition of a constant computer user's stomach due 
  to lack of exercise and a steady diet of junk food (see CHIPS).     

HARDWARE:    
  Tools, such as lawn mowers, rakes and other heavy equipment 
  you haven't laid a finger on since getting your computer.     

IBM:    
  The kind of missile your family members and friends would like 
  to drop on your computer so you'll pay attention to them again.     

MENU:    
  What you'll never see again after buying a computer because 
  you'll be too poor to eat in a restaurant.     

MONITOR:    
  Often thought to be a word associated with computers, this 
  word actually refers to those obnoxious kids who always want 
  to see your hall pass at school.     

PROGRAMS:    
  Those things you used to look at on your television before you 
  hooked your computer up to it.     

RETURN:    
  What lots of people do with their computers after only a week 
  and a half.     

TERMINAL:    
  A place where you can find buses, trains and really good deals 
  on hot computers.     

WINDOW:    
  What you heave the computer out of after you accidentally 
  erase a program that took you three days to set up.     
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