Subject:       BILL OF NO RIGHTS
   
   
    The following was written by State
    Representative Mitchell Kaye from Cobb County, GA.
   
    We, the sensible people of the United States, in
    an attempt to help everyone get along, restore
    some semblance of justice, avoid any more riots,
    keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior
    and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to
    ourselves and our great-great-great grandchildren,
    hereby try one more time to ordain and establish
    some common sense guidelines for the terminally
    whiny, guilt-ridden, delusional and other
    liberal, bed-wetters. We hold these truths to be
    self-evident: That whole lots of people were
    confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim
    that they require a Bill of No Rights.
   
    ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new
    car, big screen TV or any other form of wealth.
    More power to you if you can legally acquire
    them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.
   
    ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never
    be offended. This country is based on freedom,
    and that means freedom for everyone - not just
    you! You may leave the room, turn the channel,
    express a different opinion, etc., but the world
    is full of idiots, and probably always will be.
   
    ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be
    free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in
    your eye, learn to be more careful, do not
    expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all
    your relatives independently wealthy.
   
    ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free
    food and housing. Americans are the most
    charitable people to be found, and will gladly
    help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing
    weary of subsidizing generation after generation
    of professional couch potatoes who achieve
    nothing more than the creation of another
    generation of professional couch potatoes.
   
    ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free
    health care. That would be nice, but from the
    looks of public housing, we're just not
    interested in health care.
   
    ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to
    physically harm other people. If you kidnap,
    rape, intentionally maim or kill someone, don't
    be surprised if the rest of us want to see you
    fry in the electric chair.
   
    ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the
    possessions of others. If you rob, cheat or
    coerce away the goods or services of other
    citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us
    get together and lock you away in a place where
    you still won't have the right to a big-screen
    color TV or a life of leisure.
   
    ARTICLE VIII: You don't have the right to demand
    that our children risk their lives in foreign
    wars to soothe your aching conscience. We hate
    oppressive governments and won't lift a finger
    to stop you from going to fight if you'd like.
    However, we do not enjoy parenting the entire
    world and do not want to spend so much of our
    time battling each and every little tyrant with
    a military uniform and a funny hat.
   
    ARTICLE IX: You don't have the right to a job.
    All of us sure want all of you to have one, and
    will gladly help you along in hard times, but we
    expect you to take advantage of the opportunities 
    of education and vocational training laid before
    you to make yourself useful.
   
    ARTICLE X: You do not have the right to
    happiness. Being an American means that you have
    the right to pursue happiness - which by the
    way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an
    overabundance of idiotic laws created by those
    of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.