“Teal’c, get Janet will you? And clear the corridor.” Jack said calmly, as if no big deal.
Teal’c nodded and attended to his task, trying not to think about the sight he had just witnessed.
Dr Fraiser arrived within minutes, her arm still a little numb, but nothing she couldn’t deal with later. She walked into the dark room and knelt on the floor next to Daniel. Making eye contact with Jack Janet reached around Daniel’s waist till her fingers met the zipper. She undid his pants and carefully lowered the band. Injecting the sedative was easy enough, aside from the occasional sniffle Daniel remained still in Jack’s arms.
“Let’s get him back to the infirmary.” Her voice, much like Jack’s was quietly solemn.
“I’ll carry him.” Jack said before she could say anything further. Janet just nodded.
Giving him one last squeeze, Jack whispered in Daniel’s ear what he was about to do. He shifted until he was leaning on only one knee, then slipped the arm currently wrapped around Daniel’s middle away and swiftly hooked it under his legs. With a show of strength Jack managed to stand upright without loosening his grip, Daniel now cradled secure in both arms.
Jack nodded his okay to Janet who stepped out of the room first. Only Teal’c was present in the corridor.
“Teal’c can you call the elevator? I’ve changed my mind about the infirmary.” Janet stated kindly, standing by the door as Jack exited with Daniel.
Teal’c nodded his assent once again and set off down the corridor.
Daniel didn’t say a word as he was carried through the halls of the SGC and into the elevator. Casting the occasional glance up ward he could see the ceiling pipes and the outline of Jack’s chin, if he got the right angle he could also see right up Jacks nose. That thought almost made him laugh, but the seriousness of the whole situation came crashing back down on top of him and stifled the urge. What a mess. What an unbelievable mess - one that was entirely of his own creation.
Only two voices where present as they entered the elevator, Jack was one of them, Janet the other. Daniel remembered what he’d done to Janet and winced, turning his head away so all that greeted him was darkness.
Movement from the body held tight in arms made Jack cut Janet off halfway through the explanation of her plan. “Daniel? You with us?”
Of course he was, where else would he be. Of all the times he’d been knocked unconscious, it never happened when you wanted it to and at the moment he really wished he wasn’t awake to witness any of this. Jack shook him so his head rolled back slightly making Daniel feel incredibly nauseous. He wondered, considering his weight, if he should face the music and walk under his own steam. Daniel risked a glance up through damp lashes, upon registering Jack’s face decided against any such action and buried his head back into Jack’s chest once more, it was cowardly, but Daniel just didn’t want to see the hurt and disappointment in those warm brown eyes.
“We’re here,” Jack said relenting, stepping out of the confines of the elevator car, “not long now.”
Daniel, nose still pressed against Jack’s chest, didn’t react to the words. He felt movement again, but it was as if everything around him was spinning preventing him from registering any particular direction. His head felt twice the size it should and his body was vibrating with fatigue. Daniel was confident he’d feel a lot better if he were dead right now.
“Lye him on the bed, I need to make a few arrangements.” Jack watched silently as Janet opened the door to the VIP room, walked in and reached over the side of the large bed to pick up the phone.
The first change Daniel felt was when his butt came in contact with a soft object. Mattress – his brain supplied helpfully. By the time he’d come to that conclusion his whole body was lying flat and the arms that had once held him were noticeably missing. Feeling the chill of loneliness creep over him Daniel rolled quickly onto his side curling up into a tight ball, purposefully letting his long hair flop forward and cover the majority of his face.
“Everything will be here in a few minutes,” Janet paused, first eyeing Daniel curled on the bed, then Jack stood looking down on him.
“He’ll be fine with me for a minute.” Jack assured her.
Jack kept eye contact with Janet long enough to convince her he was fine, and then the minute she left the room he collapsed on the edge of the bed. Dipping his head level with his knees Jack swore, running both hands through his hair before dropping them down to cover his eyes. He’d only sat like that for a matter of seconds before getting the feeling he was being watched. Sure enough, when he looked around, he caught sight of two watery blue eyes staring back at him.
Not sure what he was prepared for, Daniel knew the next words out of Jack’s mouth were not it.
“How you doing?” Jack asked casually, if it wasn’t for the weary tone Daniel would swear they were in the locker room making idle chitchat before a mission.
Daniel didn’t answer and Jack really hadn’t expected him to. If the sedative wasn’t making his head funny yet Jack was sure all the excitement would be making everything seem rather surreal at the moment anyway.
“Look I know you’re upset right now, maybe even a little scared, and if I know you like I think I do I’d bet your gonna spend more time obsessing about us and how we’re dealing with this than concentrating on getting better yourself.” Jack swallowed, he was kind of thankful Daniel wasn’t talking at the moment, it made all this much easier to get through.
“I’m going to tell you right now. Stop.” Jack pointed at him. “Sure you’re annoying, but you’re my cross to bear.” A hand reached out and Jack grabbed it, holding the cold palm beneath his Jack made another simple promise. “You’ll be okay Daniel.” Jack bowed his head and whispered his next line into his own chest. “You’re going to be okay.”
Jack looked up, then back down at him, shrugged his shoulders once and said, “You mean the world to me kiddo, why would I lie?”
Daniel winced at the memory of what he had said to Jack shortly after blowing the light out in the storeroom.
‘You’re lying!’
‘Why would I do that?’
Good question, Daniel couldn’t think of an answer.
He sat up, using Jack’s hand as a levy and placed both feet on the floor, only to tentatively snatch them back up again when he felt the pain increase with the pressure. What the hell had he done?! Jack must have read the expression on his face pretty accurately because in a flash he was in front of Daniel making shushing noises and gripping his arms tighter.
Before Jack could give a verbal explanation Janet trundled back into the room with her medical stuff and eyed Daniel speculatively on the bed. A fleeting look at Jack, kneeling on the floor, promised a knee operation in his future. While concentrating on unpacking bandages for Daniel’s feet a brief knock at the door signalled another arrival, Janet continued with what she was doing and summoned the caller inside.
The door opened and presented Teal’c’s ridged figure in the doorway. “Dr Fraiser, I have done as you requested.” .
“Thank you.” Janet smiled over her shoulder at the same time as applying antiseptic to Daniel’s right foot.
Jack had repositioned himself in anticipation, to prevent Daniel from kicking out the minute the cold and extremely painful alcohol filled liquid made contact with the open wounds on his feet, but it seemed the doc already had it all under control. Slightly surprised, Jack sat back down heavily on the bed next to Daniel. “Teal’c, Carter’s probably going nuts not knowing what’s happening-”
“I have already informed Major Carter of our whereabouts, I believe she is currently meeting with the General and will be arriving shortly.”
Daniel was acutely aware no one was actually addressing him, which was just fine. Teal’c, Sam, The General? Pretty soon everyone on base would know about his atrocious breakdown in Colonel O’Neill’s arms. Oh God, of course, then there was Jack. He’d blatantly cried not only in front of him, but on him. The fact that he’d actually pulled a gun – and made a shot - lest he forget, at his friend wasn’t something Daniel was capable of understanding at the moment, so he chose to omit that fact for the time being and concentrated on the humiliation factor. A sudden light interrupted Daniel’s introspection and prompted him to pull away. Only he couldn’t, two very strong, very firm hands where holding him in place. Daniel looked up and through the fringe of hair he was hiding behind saw Jack.
Jack was holding him and not in a simple don’t fidget manor. Jack was all out hugging him! Like his humiliation couldn’t get any worse. Daniel tried another vain attempt to pull free, but it got misconstrued as him being agitated from withdrawal, not from sheer embarrassment, so he gave up the fight rather quickly and succumbed to his fate.
Still refusing to meet anyone’s gaze, even when he heard Sam enter the room and call his name, Daniel figured it could have been worse. Jack wasn’t ashamed of him for his weakness, if anything he was indulging him in it. It wouldn’t be the first time, and most likely not the last either, in Hadante Jack had practically spelled it out to him.
So what if after this none of them believed he could be trusted again, at least Jack was still his friend that was all that really matter to him.
Sam crouched down in front of the Colonel and reached for Daniel’s hand. “How is he?” She asked Dr Fraiser when her call to Daniel went unanswered.
“I think the worst is over.” Janet announced cheerfully. “You were right, waiting it out was the right call.”
Sam nodded, not feeling any happier about it even knowing she was right. Although it was times like this that Sam found Jolinar’s memories were as much a blessing as they were a curse. Janet gave her a positive smile; throwing all the left over bits of bandage and plastic into a box and moving it back onto the medical tray by the door.
“Daniel.” Sam tried again.
Daniel didn’t respond and she found herself exchanging mutual deflated glances with her C.O.
“He hasn’t said anything yet, but I’m positive he’s in there somewhere.” Jack jostled the body in his arms, making Daniel’s head spin.
Daniel still didn’t look up, despite the nauseous feeling now coursing through him thanks to Jack. He could hear his friends talking between themselves; they were talking to him also, but were wise enough not to expect him to answer, though for different reasons than Daniel had for not talking. Daniel almost laughed - the whole thing was so absurd, he was simply amazed they were all still here. Janet had to be, it was her job, but the rest had no excuses for staying with him. And they all sounded so…so…normal, was the best word Daniel’s befuddled brain could conjure up. They should be gravely disappointed with him at best and at very least they should be uncomfortable around him, for cryin’ out loud - to borrow a Jack euphemism - here he was, face stained with tears, cradled in Jack’s lap after having totally spazzed out from addiction in an attempt to leave the base and they where chatting as if it was just any ordinary day?! What was wrong with these people?
Where the hell he thought he was going when he attacked Janet and the SF Daniel had no idea, but he’d done it. Just like he’d kept his friends slaving away in the mines. Trust me and I’ll trust you my ass – if he ever needed proof of just how gullible and naïve he could be then that was it. Shyla had handed it him on a platter. He was a complete idiot! A stupid, gullible, naïve little kid just like everyone thought.
Jack could sense Daniel’s restlessness before he even started to squirm. Tightening his hold he beckoned Sam to sit on Daniel’s other side and hold his legs still. A few expert tugs and all of Janet’s hard work on those feet would be undone.
“Daniel.” The deep, authoritative voice penetrated Daniel’s thoughts and garnered his attention. He stopped his frantic movements; stifling the sob that wanted out and replacing it with a covert sniffle instead. Not once did he open his eyes, just to look upon the faces of those he had betrayed would be enough to make him lose the small amount of self-control he had left.
Unfortunately just the mere thought of his actions set him off again. Daniel flung his head backwards, rolling until he made contact with the pillow. Pain flared in his feet as he pushed them up the bed, but Daniel was too consumed with guilt and self-loathing to even register it.
“Danny.” The abbreviation of his name was said with more kindness, but demanded no less respect. An arm carefully inserted itself under the nape of his neck and held his shoulders in place; a warning that further temper-tantrums would not be wise.
Daniel got the message; he calmed down, taking deep breaths of stale mountain air, before experimentally raising his eyes to assess the mood of the room.
Everyone was smiling at him and it unnerved him greatly. Daniel thought the feeling must have shown when Sam started talking to him.
“We’re just glad you’re going to be okay Daniel, you had us all very scared for a while.” She said soothingly.
After what he remembered saying to her Daniel couldn’t believe she was still willing to look at him, let alone comfort him.
This was new, not something he was used to. Screwing up in such major proportions would normally warrant packed bags. Not forgiveness, not ‘as long as you didn’t get hurt’. And he’d thought the reaction he got after miraculously surviving Apophis ship was pretty astounding? This was practically unbelievable! None of his friends here looked disappointed or embarrassed for him. They looked pleased to see him… And he’d let them down so goddamn badly. Class A self-righteous prick that he was.
Janet could see Daniel shutting down again; the brief eye contact he’d maintained was sufferable at best. The sedative he was fighting would wind him down soon enough; with out the adrenalin pumping through his veins Daniel would collapse into sleep in no time.
“I’m going to keep a guard on the door, but I’m not going to restrain him, like I said I think the worst is over, the next 24 hours will tell for certain.”
Daniel heard Janet’s parting statement, knowing she had been talking to him as much as the rest of them. He wasn’t going to be tied down, thank god for small mercies. He would have thanked her but knew he wouldn’t be able to vocalise anything without a sob erupting, and he’d done quite enough of that for one day. Hearing the door click shut Daniel waited for Jack to make his move.
He was still waiting several minutes later. Cracking an eye open he hadn’t realised he’d closed Daniel looked around the room. Sam and Teal’c were both still there, Teal’c no longer standing to attention in the corner of the room but sat in the comfy chair at the end of the bed, shifting through some old magazines stored under the table. Daniel watched him with silent curiosity as Teal’c passed one onto Sam, still sat on the bed, his feet cradled in her lap. Making a valiant effort Daniel tilted his head back, resting it comfortably against the arm of his best friend - said best friend looked down at him and smiled. Daniel didn’t have a clue what he must look like right now, but for Jack to smile at him like that it must be pretty pathetic. Pathetic or not, Daniel smiled shyly back and closed his eyes.
“Pass me one of those Teal’c.” Jack beckoned after ten minutes of watching Daniel sleep peacefully.
Teal’c glanced through the magazine stack before settling on one and handing it over.
“Cosmo?” Jack placed the glossy pages on the nightstand. “Gee, Teal’c you know me so well.”
Teal’c sat back in his chair and muttered an, “indeed”, under his breath.
Jack’s growl in return went largely unnoticed.
“He asleep?” Sam asked, giving up on her chosen distraction after reading the same mindless paragraph for what felt like the hundredth time.
“I think so.” Jack said while collecting the Cosmo from where he’d placed it not ten seconds previous.
Jack’s idle reply didn’t appease her one bit. “You think he’s going to be alright?”
“I hope so.”
When he continued on flicking through the fashion pages without even an upward glance, Sam let her temper get the better of her. “Sir, we can’t pretend like nothing’s wrong.”
Jack looked up. “Yes we can.” He said confidently, in that annoying self assured manner he had.
“Captain Carter is correct O’Neill. We must endeavour to ensure these circumstances are never repeated.” Teal’c chimed in without a pause.
Jack sat up straighter, resting his back against the beds wooden headboard without dislodging his arm from around Daniel. “Oh and what do you suggest?”
“He needs to be educated in the ways of a warrior O’Neill.”
“He’s already had basic self defence lessons.” Jack countered, wishing he hadn’t bothered moving because now his arm was going dead under the weight.
Sam grimaced. “I don’t think that’s what Teal’c is talking about.”
“Daniel Jackson needs to understand no one can truly be trusted. He needs to be taught that there are very few people as honest as himself.”
“Isn’t that a little harsh Teal’c?” Sam injected, she didn’t want to scar Daniel for life.
“I think not.”
“Carter, I take it you have another idea?”
“A few lessons couldn’t him, sir. I think we should prepare him for the next time.”
“Ah! Stop right there. There will be NO next time.”
“Is Daniel Jackson no longer a member of SG1?”
“What?” Jack glanced down quickly to ensure Daniel was still fast asleep. “Of course he is.”
“Then you can not guarantee these circumstances will not repeat themselves.”
“Look, Daniel made a mistake. He’s not going to do the same thing again.”
“That is not what I am referring to.”
Jack’s head was spinning, his Jaffa friend was talking in riddles and Daniel was crying in his sleep on his lap, it was all too much to process at the moment. He aimed his confusion at Carter in the hopes she could set it all straight for him. Thankfully she didn’t let him down.
“Teal’c means there will be a time again when the three of us are indisposed and all the responsibility of the mission will fall to Daniel. We need to teach him how to handle it – the military way.” Sam finished uncomfortably.
“Is that really necessary?” Jack questioned with a grin. “I kind of like him just the way he is.”
She matched his smile and spoke through a lighthearted chuckle. “I like him too sir, and when we’re there to help keep him safe its fine, but what’s going to happened to him if he gets in trouble and he’s all alone?”
“You mean aside from getting addicted to the Sarcophagus by trusting the psychotic daughter of a demented leader, who just happened to have his friends chained up and working the mines on a whim?”
“Something like that, yes.”
“He made a mistake.”
“A mistake that he cannot repeat O’Neill, for his own sake.”
Jack stared at Daniel for a long time, letting the words find organisation within his own head. They had a point; Daniel couldn’t make a mistake like this again. Whether he liked it or not, Daniel needed to learn. The fight against the Goa’uld was only just beginning and as time moved on the situation could only get tougher. Apophis’s ship should have been the wake up call. They nearly lost Daniel twice, only luck and his sheer will to live saved his life. He wasn’t trained, and thinking they could protect him permanently showed extreme naivety on all their parts. Sooner or later there may come a time when every mission, every planet could be a war zone. If Daniel were going to stick with SG-1 he’d need to be more than the archaeologist. They may need to rely on him again one day.
At the end of the day Daniel was still very much a kid and kids were capable of learning, weren’t they?