Chapter 35
Asher P.O.V
My eyes went wide as I heard her words. She looked innocently confused as she spoke. mon Dieu, how would I explain this to her? I had been hoping she would remember what had happened, but obviously she had been in too much of a pain ridden state to totally comprehend what had been happening around her and to her.
I opened my mouth, trying to tell her, but they wouldn’t come. What would she do? Casspian was dead. Jean-Claude and monsieur Morte had seen to that. He could no longer hurt her or torment her. I could not keep silent for much longer. I didn’t want her to think of it as rejection.
Closing my eyes against the uncertainty of her reaction, I spoke, quietly but I knew she would be able to hear.
"Jean-Claude is not here, because he thought his presence was no longer needed or requested" Her entire upper body turned this time to look at me better, I tightened my embrace of her when I saw her questioning look
"Ma Cherie, you are no longer bound to him, nor Casspian you are...free” I told her as she looked up at me. There was no easy way to say that. I wish there were.
She froze in my arms, I continued, knowing she had to hear all of it before she interrupted. "As you probably remember, Casspian was killed, you stopped breathing but Monsieur Morte was able to bring you back, your Pard healed you after that"
She was so quiet as I spoke.
"You are free of Jean-Claude, you no longer need to see him"
I had though her silent before, but now...her breathing swallowed and she closed her eyes. I was uncertain of her emotions, so, slowly unwrapping my arms from her slender figure, I moved off of the bed
"I will leave you to your thoughts Ma Cherie"
Walking towards the door I did not even pick up my robe when she spoke
"Wait"
Stopping I tuned my head, I heard a sigh from her before she spoke again
"Stay, please Asher, stay with me. I don‘t want to be alone right now. I haven't truly been alone for months"
Smiling ever so slightly I made my way back to the bed placing myself next to her. I wasn’t used to Anita admitting she needed someone. She was an independent thing, if there ever was one. She looked like a child, who was lost in the storm of life. And I had shown her the truth of that storm and left her more frightened.
What would she do? She was finally free of the marks she supposedly hated. Would she run and leave us all? Would she start a new life away from the death and anger we carried around us? I wouldn’t blame her if she did. But I doubt Jean-Claude would get over it if she did.
Chapter 36
Anita’s P.O.V
Asher sat down next to me on the bed and started to rub his hand up and down my arm. He sat there in only pyjama bottoms, and yet, all I could think about were his words
'You are free of Jean-Claude, you no longer need to see him',
My mind couldn't seem to understand his words properly, and when they finally did I prayed I had heard him wrong. Being the strong one I thought I was, I tried to fight the sting of tears I felt in my eyes, but it was no use. My eyes filled but I still wouldn't let them fall. I felt like I had an egg in the back of my throat, it was hard to breath past the tears.
I felt the bed move two seconds before I heard Asher sigh deeply and felt his arms surround me in a comforting embrace. I leaned into him, resting my weary head against his bare, partly scared chest. This couldn't be happening.
He kissed me lightly on the head. He then started to speak, still with his lips pressed into my hair. His voice came out muffled, but I could still understand him.
"No matter what, I will always love you ma cherie and so will Jean-Claude, never forget that"
I fully rested against him at that, for once letting someone other the Jean-Claude or Micah be my pillar of strength. Some of the tenseness in me eased, but it didn’t all go. Asher spoke again.
"Do you know what you will do?"
Breathing in his scent I calmed, and thought about the question. It was a question I never had an answer for straight away, no matter what subject I was asked it on. Weather it be my life someone else's life. I could never answer it.
But no I had to. I could no longer run from the fine line of what I thought I wanted and what I did truly want. I had to think about this. I couldn’t just say what was on mind. I’d grown up and realised that that wasn’t always the smartest thing to do.
I thought of all the times with Jean-Claude, when I had been hurt so badly for him, lost parts of myself for him and to him. And he had done the same for me, no hesitation. I knew at first he only wanted me to control me and use my power, but it had become more than that. And now I could be facing a life without Jean-Claude.
I could start a new life. Leave behind all the pain and suffering I had experienced and watched my loved ones experience. I could settle down with a man who had no complications, who wanted nothing but me, and now that I could conceive, I could even have a child.
I would finally be accepted, even if it was only partially, by my family and everyone else. Ronnie and I could be friends again, be like it was before I got involved in all of this. I could have a normal job, normal friends. I could have a normal life.
I breathed deeply as I thought.
This brought me back to myself, showing me Asher was still here, which brought one last question to my mind. Did I want all of that? Did I want a new life, a normal life? Did I need my fucked up families approval, or Ronnie's and Catherine's approval?
Did I want a non adventurous life, without my friends, and my new family like Nathaniel, Jason, Cherry. Could I live without the people I loved like Jean-Claude, Micah and even Asher. I felt an ache in me as I thought of a life without them, not being able to see them again, to hear them speak to them, argue with them, God, even have them hit on me, did I want that? I knew the answer without even needing to think about it now.
No, I didn’t
I felt Asher against me, his chest rose and fell as he breathed. He had started to massage my shoulders. I had the feeling he had spoken before, but I hadn’t heard him. He put his face in front of mine, searching my eyes, as though for an answer.
“ Cherie, are you alright? You were very lost in thought a minute ago” His voice was soft and calming.
I knew what I was going to do. Jean-Claude had spent years chasing after me. Not that I liked to admit it, but maybe it was my turn to do the chasing.
“Cherie, do you know what you are going to do?” Asher asked again.
My answer was firm and set. I know what I would do. I knew what I wanted to do. I stared into Asher’s eyes and gave him my answer.
“Yes. Will you help me get ready?” I asked.
He grinned from ear to ear and nodded.
Chapter 37
Jean-Claude’s P.O.V
I was sitting behind my desk at Soyeux Danse. I hadn’t visited it for a while, and I had paper work to do. I had told everyone to leave me alone. Only to disturb me if it was severely important. I wanted to be alone. I didn’t want to see any one.
What had annoyed me more than any thing was that Gretchen had gotten away with one of Casspian‘s people. His second, a daemon. I would find her and him. I had people looking for them both at this very moment. As soon as Casspian’s cold dead body had hit the ground, her and Casspian’s pet daemon had run, fled and left their ‘master’.
I had left Anita at the circus. She could heal and take all of the time she needed. I loved watching her while she slept, even though it amounted to a drug sleep. She was still so beautiful. Micah and Asher had promised to look after her tonight. Asher had been moaning I needed a break. Maybe I did. I doubt I would get one.
I put down the pen. I had only looked slightly at the paper in front of me. I knew everything would be in order. I just needed something to take my mind off things. I put my head in my hands, blocking out most of the light.
I had lost Anita. She was no longer mine, so I had stopped referring to her as ma petite. I think it would hurt less that way. She was no longer my small one. I hadn't replaced my marks, in case she had wanted to be free of them. I couldn’t stand it if she hated me, but she was healing just fine. Partly by using her own growing powers, and partly by the help of her Pard.
Casspian was gone. We had seen to that. I was surprised that the council had stepped. Seeing Belle again, even though just for a short space of time, had been hard, but it had probably been harder on Asher. We had both hoped never to see her again. I had hoped never to see Casspian again, and now I wouldn’t.
I had been that engrossed in thought, that I hadn’t heard or felt someone approach my door. They were tapping lightly on the tinted glass of the door. I had told everyone to leave me alone, all of them. I didn‘t care what they needed or wanted, but it must have been important, I know few who would risk my anger for something trivial.
I curbed my anger. I couldn’t take my anger out on someone if it wasn’t their fault. Actually, I could, but I wouldn’t. I would probably kill that person with the mood I was in, and I didn’t want to kill anyone who was valuable to me.
“What do you want ” I said through gritted teeth, angrily. I didn’t want any visitors. I hoped they did what they want and went. The door opened slowly.
“Jean-Claude?” Anita’s voice pulled my head out of my hands.
I shot up to look at her. She looked beautiful and healed. My breath get caught in my throat looking at her. She walked into the room, stood in the middle and smiled slightly, as though unsure of what I would do. I stood up and walked round my desk and leant on it, as I had done last week, when Asher had come in.
I didn’t know what to say and neither did she. She walked back and shut the door and sighed. She walked over to me and placed her arms around my torso. I was surprised for a moment but then I hugged her to me and closed my eyes. I took in her scent. The smell of her intoxicated me.
She was healed and walking fine, although there were some scars on her back that weren’t there before. Casspian must have helped her with those. I lent my head down to her shoulder and breathed easy, the easiest I’d breathed since she had slipped away from me.
I felt wet on my shoulder. She was crying. I felt my own eyes fill at the feel of having her back in my arms. I rocked her and started to whisper in her ear. I told her how beautiful she was and how I missed her.
I was now unsure of what would happen next. She was no longer my servant, and she hated the marks enough to not want them back. At least, that is what I thought. You just never knew with her. Shed pulled so many surprises out of her magicians hat.
She pulled back, but still held on to me and looked up into my eyes. She laughed and went to wipe away her tears with the back of her hand, but I took her hand started to do it for her, using my sleeve.
When they were gone, so had her smile. She had gone so serious. She leaned her head against my chest and I kissed the top of her head.
“I love you, Jean-Claude” She whispered.
I smiled, softly. Now that is what I had missed the most.
“I love you too, Anita” I whispered back. I smiled. Maybe things would work out after all.