"Hello, Treize..."

By DragonMage

Notes: *sniff* I read a sad Treize/Wufei fic and I needed to work off some excess angst-mood. *sweatdrop* This is really...I don't know, it might get boring along the way since it's really just Wufei reminiscing and telling Treize about his life after the war.

"Vivez, si m'en croyez, n'attendez à demain; Cveillez des aujourd'nui res roses de la vie."

("Live now, believe me, wait not till tomorrow; Gather the roses of life today.")

---Pierre de Ronsard, Sonnets pour Hélène, I, 43

Chang Wufei walked slowly down the dirt path up to the small hill where his destination was: Treize Khushrenada's grave. Clasped his small, golden hands was a bouquet of vibrant red roses, each petal looking like pieces of soft velvet with a strong scent that would carry for days on end. He had searched the entire city for them, knowing that they were perfect in every way and Treize would love to have them on his grave.

Roses was Treize's family seal and he was very proud of them. Wufei remembered when Treize showed him the beautiful rose garden he had on one of his estates. It had been one of the most breathtaking things Wufei had ever laid eyes on. He had just stood there, staring in wonderment and breathing in the sweet scents that made him feel at peace with himself and everything around him.

He finally reached the spot where Treize had been buried, right underneath a beautiful tree that shaded the grave almost motherly. The wind blew gently, its cool fingers brushing back his loose hair. He had left it down since the end of the second war. He knew Treize liked it down because it made his features softer, more gentle. Himself wanted it down because he had returned to his life as a scholar and given up the fight. His passion for justice had long ago died around the same time Treize died. He no longer had a reason to fight and he was too tired to continue it. He had only given himself a last chance with Mariemeia Barton's army but that hadn't worked out. He just wasn't up to it anymore. He couldn't fake the almost crazed passion he had carried in the first war.

He now had passions for other things. Such as chocolate, books, poetry, paintings, sculptures, all the things he had loved dearly before his wife's death and his involvement in the war. Things that he missed just as much as he loved them and it was almost painful to throw himself into them again. To pick up a book and read it without wondering when the next mission was, to be able to stand in front of one of van Gogh's works and not worry about wasting time. Just being able to have so much time and so little worries had quickly pulled him into the world he had lived in before the war.

Of course he wasn't exactly the same. He wasn't the naive scholar boy he used to be anymore. He had became widowed by the age of fourteen, became a soldier a year later, he had taken up a lover nine years his senior in the same year who was also the enemy, he had killed his own lover at the end of the war, and betrayed his friends the next year by working with Mariemeia's army. After the second war ended he had became a Preventer and worked with them for a few months before he was finally sick of working with the government and being a pilot. He had quit and returned to Earth. There he stayed in China for a few months, just getting adjusted to civilian life, before he started traveling around Earth, experiencing everything she had to offer him.

He had the money for it, naturally. He was the sole survivor of the Dragon Clan and all of their fortunes had immediately been sent into his account after they blew the colony up. They didn't take everything to L5 when they were exiled. Most of the precious antiques he now had displayed in his mansion, had been locked away in the banks of China and many other vaults scattered around the world. He had claimed them when he discovered the paperwork in the midst of several other stacks of bank accounts, stock bonds, and other things that proved his claim to the Dragon Clan fortune. He bought a home to put the antiques and ancient books in, even though he was rarely there.

Now he was barely eighteen and he was a millionaire who was still making money off of the stock bonds and pieces of land he had bought and built businesses on. Every year he made more money than the last as the world was putting itself together and started running itself smoothly under the new government. He was content with the amount he made since that just meant he could go to France, England, Spain, Greece, China, Thailand, Cambodia, India and all those wonderful places he had read about in books and heard about from other people as many times as he wanted. Sure he had been to some of those places during the war but he had never had time to stop and take the scenery in. Now he had all the time in the world to do it.

He slid down to his knees in front of the grave and took away the dying bouquet of lilies someone had brought before. He gently slid the rose bouquet into the small vase and sat back comfortably, slouching a bit. Every year he came and sat in this exact spot so he could talk to Treize for as long as he had things to talk about. And there usually was a lot. He came only once a year since he was always busy with business and traveling but he always made sure to come on the anniversary of Treize's death.

"Hello, Treize. Another year and here I am again." He paused and smiled serenely. "This year has been pretty good. I went to Russia and checked out that wonderful museum you once told me about. It is huge and I had such a time going through each exhibit and reading the pamphlets and taking the guided tours. I loved it. There were so many beautifully preserved paintings from before After Colony. Almost all of my favorites were there. Some of them I had never seen before in books or magazines. You couldn't imagine how happy I was to learn about them. They're all so exquisite in their age, beauty and the expression of the human soul. It's nothing like the contemporary art now. I wish you were alive and there with him, describing each painting. I have no doubt in my mind that you would know all of them.

"After checking out Russia and complaining to myself about how cold it was, I went down to Germany. It was warmer down there and I loved seeing the city life. I read about Berlin Wall and everything. It's so different from those chaotic times. Things are peaceful now, obviously. It's very nice to see a child run down the street without worrying that a soldier might chose that time to exert control over the city and strike him down just for having fun.

"When I walk down the streets of these different countries, I can feel as if I'm just opening my eyes for the first time ever. Everything is so new and fascinating. I always complained to you that I couldn't understand human beings. I still can't. That's why it's so wonderful to see them live and be so...happy while I'm touring the world. It brings peace into my heart and also makes me want to cry.

"I know. Chang Wufei, crying? Impossible! Not so impossible, Treize. I cried when you died, I cried after the second war when I realized that you were really gone and I had no purpose in fighting anymore because there was no need for soldiers any longer in this era of peace. I was letting go of the fervor for righteousness and justice that I had held so closely to my heart it seemed to blind me from everything else. I realize this now and it makes me happy to be able to leave all my mistakes behind and start anew. I still believe in justice though. I don't think I'll ever let go of my need for balance and right in this world. But I'm not screaming about it anymore or letting it blind me to everything else in life. I still feel injustice when I pass by an orphanage and knew I was probably one of the many men who put those children in there.

"But where is justice when you're the only surviving member of your clan? I have no more family, Treize. And it hurts. All my life I was raised, knowing that your family is the most important thing in the world and you should be willing to sacrifice anything for them. I did. But in the end I had no more family. Maybe for some it might be a relief. No more obligations. But I want a family, Treize. I want someone I can call 'brother' or 'sister'. I'm glad I was an only child. If I lost a sibling, I would have died inside. But the loss of my parents, my grandparents, my aunts and uncles, my cousins--sometimes I feel as if I will die from the grief inside of me. I have no one else left in the world but you, and you're dead too. Sally is wonderful but...for some reason it's not exactly the same. She's strong but she can't connect on the level of loss I've had to deal with."

Wufei fell back and laid there on the soft, cool grass, basking in the small bits of sunlight that poured in through the shade of the tree. He sighed, slowly letting go of his griefs for another year. He always felt better after talking to Treize and it allowed him to enjoy life for a year before it was consuming him again. Then he would see Treize and everything would be fine again. Or at least that was how it was working now. He didn't know what will happen when talking to Treize won't stop the pain anymore. But until then, he was going to do this.

"I don't really talk with the others very much. I saw Trowa once while visiting a circus in Paris, France. He's grown to be at least six foot something. I felt so tiny next to him! I'm barely reaching five-foot-four and I don't think I'm going to grow anymore, to my disappointment. We had coffee together and spoke of what has happened since I last saw him--which was a few days before I left the Preventers. He's still helping out Catherine--I've told you about her--with the circus and sometimes he pitches in with the Preventers, but he's not official. He doesn't want to be but he wants to be useful. To placate problems that raised from an un-official Preventer investigating things, they gave him an honorary badge or some silly thing like that. I don't understand it either but it seems to shut people up.

"Heero and Duo finally got married. Well, actually, they got married last year but I only heard about it this year. It just goes to show just how out of touch I really am with them. I'm just so busy and I've been throwing myself into this novel I'm working on about my travels. But I'll tell you about that later. Heero and Duo first.

"I always did think they made a nice couple. They balance out each other, I think. I'm not sure." He laughed slightly. "Anyway, I still think they're good for each other. Heero, from what I've seen, has finally loosened up and we actually had a conversation! You couldn't believe how shocked I was or how amused Duo was. I told them about what I've done with myself since I quit the Preventers and I think they're proud of me. That's good, isn't it? Them being proud of me? It's a nice feeling and...," he sighed, "I might not talk to them much but they consider me a friend. I like that. I think it's the closes I'll get to having a family."

Suddenly he laughed and sat up, grinning. "And you wouldn't believe this! But Zechs and Quatre actually started dating!" He fell back, laughing softly to himself. "I couldn't believe it when I met with them and some other corporate to seal a business deal with them in Milan, Spain. But I think Zechs and Quatre was more shocked at seeing me as a business man than I was about their relationship. They just never expected me capable of dabbling in the business world like them. Of course I never did tell them that I was raised to be an ambassador, business man, and the leader of my colony. I had to know these things or I would be crushed in this world. And that's the last thing I would want." He paused. "They were so happy together, Treize...Happy like I wanted us to be happy. I wish them all the luck in the world and I hope I'll hear of a wedding one day. I think Zechs and Quatre both deserve that."

He stopped talking, his mouth and throat feeling a bit dry, but also because he just wanted to stop and enjoy the serenity he was currently floating in. There was no sadness or melancholy or any other straining feelings rushing through him. He was just at ease with himself, relaxed and almost lethargic. He could easily fall asleep right there, warm and drowsy.

"I miss you," he began again. "I miss you so much I just want to curl up and die. You filled a void in my heart, my soul I never though I had until you started showing just what friendship and love was. I never expected it from you, you know? I never expected to be sent to your private chambers after being captured for being careless that one day. All the soldiers thought you were going to...force me. I believe they would have stood at the door, listening for my screams if they could. I was afraid of that, too. I didn't know you. All I knew was that you were stronger than me, bigger than me, and you beat me in a duel I challenged you to. I was still stinging from that. Probably the only reason why I was so rude to you that day. I didn't mean to spit in your face, really. But I was so angry!

"You didn't hit me or try anything with me though. You just sat me down, made me eat something and sent me to bed. I felt like a child! And I was really hungry and tired. Damned if you knew; I sure didn't show it! But that was the first sign of true friendship I had been shown in such a long time...I think you knew. It was the only reason why I went back a few nights later to give you that charm. I felt indebted to you and...vulnerable. I hadn't felt vulnerable in such a long time. It was almost childish, to me, how I went back and gave you that necklace. You smiled and took it, thanking me. I felt warm after that. Of course I couldn't allow anyone to know that and I continued to be cold and mean and a justice ranting idiot. I couldn't allow anyone to see my weaknesses. But you changed something in me that night.

"And you naturally know what happened after that. I visited you as much as I could, we became very good friends...And then you seduced me one night. Don't tell me you didn't because I swear you put something in the soup that night. You had a funny look in your eyes, watching me as I cluelessly finished my bowl." Wufei smiled and chuckled a bit. "But I didn't mind it one bit. It felt so nice to fall into your arms, let you kiss me, hold me, carry me to the bed. I was in heaven when you made love to me. You knew I wasn't a virgin, or at least not in the male/female sense. But I was when it came to sodomy. I was so afraid it would hurt but it didn't, or at least not much. Just a bit of pain and I was soon floating in a haze of pleasure and happiness. You made me so happy, Treize. You did. I had never been happier in my life, than being in your arms, listening to you read poetry out loud or talk of your thoughts on certain subjects.

"When I realized that I would end up having to face off with you, I was horrified. No one knew of my affair with you and I couldn't very well tell them! I believe Heero would have shot me on the spot! But it was inevitable in the end, wasn't it? I got angry at you, you know. I blamed you for making me fight you. I'm so sorry about those things I said about you. I really didn't mean it. But...I was just furious. And when you died...something inside of me also died. What do you think would have happened if you didn't die? If I didn't kill you? Do you think we'd be sitting at home somewhere, reading or talking, or maybe we'll be planning our next anniversary? I'm being silly and childish, maybe, but I can't help it. I love you so much and it hurts to know that you're not here, right beside me right now.

"But I already told you that last year. And every year I don't know whether or not I'm missing you more or less...Or if anything has changed at all. It's confusing. I wish I knew what was going on but I don't and I just have to try and adjust as best as possible. It's hard to forget the pain of your first love, though, Treize. How are you doing up in heaven? I've heard of Duo talk of heaven a sometimes and it seems like a nice place. I don't know anything about heaven except from what Duo's told me. My religion didn't really didn't focus on it. It was more...being good and being reincarnated in a better life next time. If we do end up getting reincarnated, I want us to be lovers again, Treize. And maybe we can get married to. Adopt some kids. Wouldn't that be nice?"

He sat up and leaned against the tree trunk. "I mentioned I was writing a book, and I am. I've been taking pictures of all the places I've been to and I'm starting to write about them and my experiences. I'm also starting to photograph all the souvenirs I bought and things like that. I got inspired to do this after reading a *very* old book written by a Chinese woman long before any of this, back when it was still called AD. A long time, isn't it?

"Anyway, this woman wrote about her life and what she did while she traveled the world with her husband. She married a Mexican man and they would speak in Spanish, I think. She was a really strange woman. I researched a bit on her and she lived a very...eccentric life. Sad as well. She lost her husband horribly. He had drowned, I believe, while fixing the bottom of a boat. Strange really since he fixing the boats was his profession, yet he drowned anyway. She had fell sick after picking up a strange amulet off the floor of a village she had been living in currently. She had thrown away the amulet but she continued to be affected by the 'curse' she called it. She was always sick and couldn't get better. She later committed suicide in her hospital room by hanging herself. I saw an old documentary on her life and they added this special they had done on her a few months after her death. Fascinating, really.

"After reading her books I decided that it'd be nice to do something like that myself. I think I'm almost done. I'm going to go back to South America after this and see how it is down there. I think it'll be fun and I can finish my book there." Wufei paused and slowly stood up. He walked over to the gravestone and kissed his lips before pressing them to the smooth, warm stone. "I love you, Treize. I don't think I'll ever stop. I'll come back next year and I'll tell you how I've been again." He smiled. "I remember what you once told me: 'Vivez, si m'en croyez, n'attendez à demain; Cveillez des aujourd'nui res roses de la vie.' [1] I hope you're not disappointed since that's exactly what I'm doing. Good bye for now. I love you."

Then Wufei turned and headed back down the dirt path to cemetery gates. He pulled out his keys and got into his black sports car. He stuck the key into the ignition and drove off, leaving behind another year of anguish and ready to start another year of learning and living.

~*Owari*~

Sooo...*hides behind Treize and Wufei* What did you think?

[1] "Live now, believe me, wait not till tomorrow; Gather the roses of life today." I thought this was nice and appropriate so I threw it in! *V*

Stared and Finished: August 10, 2001